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Authors: J. G. Ballard

BOOK: The Kindness of Women
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I emerged from one of the hunger reveries into which I often slipped. The apartment houses of the French Concession were visible along the horizon, reminding me of the old Shanghai before the war and the Christmas parties when my father hired a troupe of Chinese actors to perform a nativity play. I remembered the games of two-handed bridge on my mother's bed, my carefree cycle rides around the International Settlement, and the Great World Amusement Park with its jugglers and acrobats and singsong girls. All of them seemed as remote as the films I had seen in the Grand Theatre, sitting beside Olga while she stared in her bored way through
Snow White
and
Pinocchio.

“Why, Mrs. Dwight? I need to stay with Peggy until the war's over.”

“No.” Mrs. Dwight frowned at the prospect, as if there was something improper about it. “You'll be happier with boys of your own age.”

“Mrs. Dwight, I'm never happy with boys of my own age. They play games all the time.”

“That may be. You're going to live with Mr. and Mrs. Vincent.”

Mrs. Dwight expanded on the attractions of the Vincents' small room, which I would share with this chilly couple and their sick son. Peggy was looking sympathetically at me, the bucket clasped to her chest, well aware of the new challenge I faced.

But for once I was thinking in the most practical terms. I knew that I would be easily dominated by the Vincents, the morose amateur jockey and his glacial wife, who would resent my presence in their small domain. I might try to bribe Mrs. Vincent with the promise of a reward for being kind to me, which my father would pay after the war. Unhappily, this choice carrot failed to energise the Lunghua adults, so sunk were they in their torpor.

If I was going to bribe the Vincents I needed something more down-to-earth. Ignoring Mrs. Dwight, I seized my cinder tin from beneath my bunk, shouted a goodbye to Peggy, and set off at a run for the kitchens.

*   *   *

Spitting in the cold wind, the glowing cinders seethed across the ash tip behind the kitchens. Naked except for their cotton shorts and wooden clogs, the stokers stepped from the steaming doorway beside the furnace, ashes flaming on their shovels. Now that the evening meal of rice congee had been prepared, Mr. Sangster and Mr. Bowles were raking the furnace and banking the fires down for the night. I waited on the summit of the ash tip, enjoying the sickly fumes in the fading light, while I watched the Japanese night fighters warming up at Lunghua airfield.

“Look out, young Jim.” Mr. Sangster, a sometime accountant with the Shanghai Power Company, sent a cascade of cinders towards my feet. The ashes covered my sneakers and stung my toes through the rotting canvas. I scampered back, wondering how many extra rations had helped to build Mr. Sangster's burly shoulders. But Mrs. Sangster had been a friend of my mother's, and the horseplay was a means of steering the most valuable cinders towards me. Small favours were the secret currency of Lunghua.

Two other cinder pickers joined me on the ash tip—the elderly Mrs. Tootle, who shared a cubicle with her sister in the women's hut and brewed unpleasant herbal teas from the weeds and wild-flowers along the perimeter fence, and Mr. Hopkins, the art master at the Cathedral School, who was forever trying to warm his room in G Block for his malarial wife. He poked at the cinders with a wooden ruler, while Mrs. Tootle scraped about with an old pair of sugar tongs. Neither had the speed and flair of my bent-wire tweezers. A modest treasure of half-burnt anthracite lay in these cinder heaps, but few of the internees would stir themselves to scavenge for warmth. They preferred to huddle together in their dormitories, complaining about the cold.

Squatting on my haunches, I picked out the pieces of coke, some no larger than a peanut, that had survived the riddling. I flicked them into my biscuit tin, to be traded when it was full for an extra sweet potato or a prewar copy of
The Reader's Digest
or
Popular Mechanics,
which the American sailors monopolised. These magazines had kept me going through the long years, feeding a desperate imagination. Mrs. Dwight was forever criticising me for dreaming too much, but my imagination was all that I had.

As I knew, criticising everyone else was a full-time British occupation. Sitting on the ash tip, while Mrs. Tootle and Mr. Hopkins scratched at the spent clinkers in their doomed way, I looked down at the camp. The British had nothing to which they looked forward, unlike the Americans, whose world was always filled with possibilities. Every American was an advertisement for confidence and success, like the vivid pages in
The Saturday Evening Post,
while every Englishman was a sign saying “trespassers prosecuted.” One day, my father had told me, I would go to school in England. Already I feared that the England I visited after the war would be a larger version of Lunghua camp, with all its snobberies and social divisions, its “best” families with their strangled talk of “London town” brandished about like the badges of an exclusive club, a club I would do my best to avoid joining.

*   *   *

The last heat faded from the cinders below my feet. The night air was chilled by the flooded paddy fields and the maze of creeks and canals around Lunghua. I watched the exhaust of the Japanese fighters, warming myself with the thought of their powerful engines. Mr. Hopkins had wandered away from the ash tip, carrying his few coals back to his invalid wife, but Mrs. Tootle still stabbed at the dead clinkers. There was an evening curfew at Lunghua, but the Japanese made little effort to enforce it. In the unheated huts and cement buildings of the former teacher-training college the internees went early to bed, assuming that they had ever got up in the first place. Mrs. Dwight and the missionary ladies were used to my roving the adult dormitories with my chessboard, gathering the latest rumours of war.

I slid down the slope towards Mrs. Tootle and selected three choice pieces of coke from my tin.

“Jamie … I can't take those.”

“You keep them, Mrs. Tootle. Tell your sister I gave them to you.”

“I will…”

A cup of herbal tea already brewing in her mind, she drifted off into the darkness. I felt sorry for her, but I needed her out of the way. When I was alone on the ash tip, screened from the camp buildings by the kitchen roof, I crawled across the cinder slope to the brick wall of the annex.

Here was stored Lunghua camp's food supply for the coming week—sacks of polished rice and cracked wheat, and straw bales of grey sweet potatoes. Crouching by the rear wall of the annex, I reached inside my jacket and withdrew a crude knife I had fashioned from a broken Chinese bayonet. All but two inches of the blade were missing when I found the weapon in a disused well behind the camp hospital, but I had honed it into a useful tool. During the hours I spent on the ash tip waiting for the next consignment of spent coals, I had noticed that the mortar surrounding the brickwork was little harder than dried mud. Either the Japanese engineers responsible for equipping Lunghua camp had never known that they were being cheated by the Chinese contractors or they had not expected the war to last more than a few months before America sued for peace.

Selecting the lowest course, I scraped at the mortar, the sound of the blade lost in the rumble of engines at the airfield. Within ten minutes I had loosened the first brick. Carefully, I withdrew it from the wall, slid my fingers into the dark space, and touched the coarse straw sacking of a bale of sweet potatoes.

The next two bricks fell into my hands, as if the entire wall of the annex was about to collapse. They lay beside me, like gold bars in the darkness. Later I would return them to the wall, using the white coal dust as a substitute mortar. With any luck I would be able to revisit the food store without arousing the suspicions of Mr. Christie, a former manager of the Palace Hotel, who guarded these mildewed potatoes and warehouse sweepings with fanatic zeal. If Mr. Christie had his way, the food reserves of Lunghua camp would be larger than the Sincere Company's department store and all the internees would be dead.

I pulled the bricks from the soft mortar, steadily enlarging the aperture. The distant lights of the airfield threw silhouettes of the perimeter fence posts onto the wall above my head. A straw sack filled most of the opening, but in the sweeping searchlight I could see the airless interior of the storeroom, a mysterious inner world like the dwarfs' cottage in
Snow White.
The heavy sacks slumbered against the walls, and their comforting bulk reminded me of a family of dozing bears. My few doubts about stealing the food were forgotten. Already I thought of crawling into the storeroom and sealing the wall behind me. Peggy and I would sleep there, out of the cold, safe among the great drowsing sacks …

*   *   *

A signal flare exploded in the night sky. Its amber light trembled in a halo of white smoke. It fell slowly towards the open ground between the perimeter fence of the camp and the airfield boundary, reflected in the surface of a flooded paddy field.

Without thinking I stood up, my shadow leaping across the wall of the annex. Fifty feet from me four figures were caught by the intense light, their orange faces like lanterns in the darkness. Two of the men had already climbed through the wire, and a third knelt with one leg through the sagging strands. They shouted to each other above the spitting flare, and the man caught in the wire tore off his shirt and stumbled through the grass towards the paddy field. His shirt hung on the wire like a ragged flag.

Torches veered across the ground on both sides of the fence. Armed Japanese soldiers stood in the deep grass between the perimeter fence and the airfield. Already the would-be escapers had stopped and were waiting for the Japanese to approach them. The fourth figure stood by the wire and began to disentangle the tattered shirt. When he looked up I recognised the blond hair and pinched face of David Hunter.

The signal flare fell into the paddy field and was swallowed by its black surface. Taking my chance, I scrambled from the ash tip and darted past the rear door of the kitchens. I tripped over my cinder tin, scattering the precious coke, and stumbled into a torch beam that filled my face. Rifle raised, Private Kimura blocked the path leading to the children's hut, the night mist rising from his nostrils. Beside him stood Sergeant Nagata, the beam of his torch tapping my head as he watched his men round up the escaping prisoners. When they had been knocked to the ground, Sergeant Nagata beckoned me to him. I waited for him to slap me, but he stared into my face as if he had difficulty in recognising me and found it scarcely conceivable that I, of all the internees in Lunghua, should want to escape.

*   *   *

Later we sat on one side of the wooden table in the guardhouse. The Japanese soldiers stood against the wall, their boots covered with wet grass. The camp commandant, Mr. Hyashi, roused from his quarters in the staff bungalows, paced up and down, doing his best to control himself. A former diplomat at the Japanese Embassy in London, he was a small and precise man of painstaking nervousness, the only Japanese civilian in the camp and as frightened of Sergeant Nagata as any of the prisoners. Long pauses interrupted his interrogation, as he formulated the necessary phrases in his stilted English.

Bored by this time-wasting, Sergeant Nagata strolled behind us, slapping our heads at random. My ears rang, as they had done after the bomb in the Avenue Edward VII. I was sure we would soon be too deaf to understand Mr. Hyashi's halting questions.

At one end of the wooden bench, his chest and face bruised by the rifle stocks, was a twenty-nine-year-old Londoner called Mariner. After being discharged from the Shanghai police for robbing a rickshaw coolie he had become a foreman at the Shell terminal, and had scarcely stirred from his bunk since entering the camp. Beside him were the Ralston brothers, stable lads who had come out from England to work at the Shanghai racecourse. They joked nervously with David Hunter, who sat between them with his head lowered, blond hair streaked with blood.

Why David, with his caring parents, should have tried to escape from Lunghua puzzled me, and clearly puzzled Mr. Hyashi.

“You walked … through the … fence?” He pointed at Mariner. “You?”

“We didn't walk, no. We
climbed
through the fence,” Mariner explained half-facetiously. “You know, stepped like…”

The older Ralston inclined his head, dripping blood onto my arm, and said in a stage whisper: “I knew I got these cuts somewhere.”

Both Ralstons tittered, and Sergeant Nagata stepped behind them and slapped their heads with his hard fist. They fell forward across the table, dazed but still smiling in a cracked way and unable to hear Mr. Hyashi's next question, for which they were punched again.

I frowned at David, warning him to keep a straight face, but he was caught up by the Britishers' horseplay. Without thinking, David began to titter with them, tears streaming across his cheeks. He avoided my eyes, as if he was glad to be caught and was prepared to be punished. Like the Chinese, they laughed because they were frightened, but to Mr. Hyashi and Sergeant Nagata they were being deliberately insolent in a peculiarly British way, never more arrogant than when they had blundered into defeat.

Baffled by them, Mr. Hyashi took up his position at the head of the table, forced to preside over this deranged meeting for which his diplomatic training at the Foreign Ministry in Tokyo had not prepared him. He stood a few inches from me, and I could feel him trembling as Sergeant Nagata slapped the laughing Ralstons. I was so frightened that I, too, wanted to laugh, but already I was wondering what would happen when the sergeant discovered my attempt to break into the food store.

Mr. Hyashi gazed down at me, noting my lowered eyes. Relieved to find one small point of sanity, he placed his unsteady palm on my head, as if to reassure himself that I was real.

“You not … trying to escape?”

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