The Kingdom of Eternal Sorrow (The Golden Mage Book 1) (16 page)

“You said you could feel the power pushing against you mind?” Aidric
prompted after a moment of silence when it was clear that she would not
initiate the conversation.

“Yes,” she replied with a shudder. “Even now I can feel it, a sort of
tingling and pressure against my awareness—against my soul—or something. It’s
hard to explain.”

Aidric shook his head. “No, I understand. That feeling is the energy of
the Mage-field fighting against the shielding I have placed between it and the
channels within your mind. It is an energy that is naturally attracted to all
mages that have ventured near. You don’t yet know how to control this great
power, so instead, it roams freely. You must first Bond with the Mage-field
before it will succumb to your will. Until then, it will attempt to control
you. Unfortunately, my shields cannot prevent you from feeling the turmoil this
wild magic is causing within you.”

“But what if the magic breaks your shields?” Allison asked fearfully.
“You said so yourself that this power broke the shields around you once
before.”

“Then I’ll be there to reset them,” he replied simply. “Until I teach
you to control your abilities, I’ll not let you roam far from my sight, so you
would do good to learn quickly unless you wish me to become your new shadow!”

Instead of smiling, as he had hoped, she only appeared more worried.
“What if I
can’t
learn how to control these abilities?” Allison asked
anxiously. “I’m still having trouble accepting the fact that I have them, much
less actually using them to do God-only-knows-what.” Her hands fisted tightly
in her lap. “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m just an ordinary college
student, not a soldier. Never in a million years did I imagine that I would suddenly
be capable of performing
real
magic, much less
battle
magic. It’s
just too much, too soon for me to deal with right now.”

“I
could
postpone your lessons until you feel that you are ready
to embrace them…” Aidric offered.

“No,” Allison said with a wry smile. “If you allowed me to do that,
then my lessons would
never
start!” She sighed heavily. “There’s no use
crying over what can’t be changed, is there? I’ve had my one allowed freak-out
for the year, so I guess it’s time for me to pull myself together. I swear I
don’t usually lose it like I just did. I guess—I guess I just needed it.”

“Please, milady, don’t apologize,” Aidric said in exasperation. “You
don’t need to justify anything to me or anyone.”

“I just feel so, well—embarrassed,” she insisted, her cheeks coloring.
“I used to scold my younger sister ‘til I was blue in the face when she would
act just as I did. I don’t like to think that I’m suddenly turning into the
world’s biggest hypocrite!”

Pain entered her eyes when she spoke of her sister. It was obvious that
they had been close.

“You miss her,” he said gently.

“More than I thought I could ever miss anyone,” Allison said, closing
her eyes as her face scrunched up as though she was about to start crying
again, but then she took a deep, steadying breath. “When I first left for
California, I could practically feel the separation like it was a physical
thing, but it’s nothing compared to how I feel right now. Knowing that I won’t
ever see her again is just as bad as if someone had just told me she was dead.
Knowing that she’s alive out there and I can never see her for the rest of my
life seems crueler, somehow.”

“What is her name?”

“Katherine,” she answered simply, offering no further details.

“And your parents?” Aidric prompted, deciding on a different approach.
“What of them?”

Allison shifted uncomfortably and lowered her gaze as she said, “I’d
rather not talk about them if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” he said quickly even though he burned with curiosity, but
now was definitely not the time to press. “Perhaps I shouldn’t ask this,
either, but I would like to know what caused you to lose your composure so
thoroughly just now? I worry—though obviously afraid in the beginning, you
seemed to be handling things just fine until that moment. Was it the
presentation I forced you to attend? If so, then I wonder if having you attend
tonight’s celebration is such a good idea…”

“It wasn’t just the presentation,” she assured him, to his relief. He
still felt guilty about forcing her into a situation that had obviously
distressed her greatly, especially after everything she had already been
through. “It was a lot of things—King Diryan’s explanation of the prophecy, that
Circle member, Gaelle, suddenly wanting to poke around in my head, my terrifying
experience in the portal that brought me here, but it was mostly everything
that the queen and her ladies explained to me.”

When Aidric frowned, Allison abruptly leaned towards him and placed a
hand on his forearm. “No—don’t misunderstand me. I’m
not
putting any of
the blame on Queen Ileanna. It was just that her words suddenly made me realize
that all of this wasn’t a dream but my new, frightening reality because there
was
no way
my own imagination could have come up with something so
detailed and convoluted. My mind just couldn’t accept it.” She pulled her hand
back and started to wring them anxiously in her lap. “I’m scared, confused, and
there’s not much I can do to change that right now.”

“I can’t imagine being transported to another realm as you have,”
Aidric said gravely. “I don’t know how I would react if I did. This can’t be easy
for you, Allison, but I’ll help you to adjust any way I know how.”

She smiled slightly and said, “I appreciate that more than you’ll ever
know. Speaking of, there’s this question I’ve been meaning to ask you. I feel
as if it’s been daytime forever, or is it just my imagination? Even considering
the circumstances, this day seems to have dragged on forever.” She nodded
towards one of the windows. “It’s only now starting to grow dimmer, or since
that one looks out into an indoor garden, is it only an illusion?”

Aidric tilted his head in confusion, not really sure what she was
asking. The day seemed as long as any other day to him, but—maybe since she
came from another realm, time was different for her.

“Perhaps in your world the days are shorter,” he suggested. “The first
sand-mark of the day begins when the first sun is visible over the horizon. A
few sand-marks later, the midday begins when the second sun has risen to its peak.
Early evening begins when the first sun has set, and when the second has set,
nightfall has come. This whole process between the rising of the first sun to
the next rising of the first sun that signals another day is during a
forty-nine sand-mark time span. Is it not so in your world?”

“Do you mean to tell me that one of your days is equal to forty-nine
hours
?”
she asked incredulously.

“‘
Hours
’?”

“I mean sand-marks,” she corrected, then added with uncertainty, “I
think.”

“We were in the throne room for about half a sand-mark to give you some
idea of that measurement of time,” he said.

She pursed her lips in an utterly adorable way. “Since I was so nervous
and uncomfortable, my sense of time might have been warped, but I think your
sand-marks and my hours are pretty close to the same length.”

“Is a forty-nine sand-mark day so strange?” Aidric asked

“Really strange,” Allison said. “One Earth day is roughly equal to
twenty-four sand-marks! No wonder this day seems to have gone on forever. To
me, you have a full day of daylight! That would mean the night is just about as
long as the day.”

“Yes,” he said, shaking his head in bewilderment.
This Earth really
is a most peculiar place.
“How do your people ever accomplish anything with
so little daylight sand-marks a day?”

“God knows,” she replied dryly. “No wonder I’m so tired. I should be
sleeping right now!”

“Maybe you
should
nap before we attend tonight’s celebration. We
can always continue this conversation at a later time.”

“A nap
does
sound great,” Allison said carefully, “but I don’t
really think I want to go to your celebration tonight. In fact, the prospect
scares me. I don’t know if I can handle being scrutinized by all those
strangers so soon after what I endured at my presentation.”

“I was worried before, but seeing as how something as basic as the
length of a day is unknown to you, I now believe it would do you much good to
attend,” Aidric said. “Observation is always a better teacher than merely
explanation. Plus, you cannot hide from your new people forever. Going to this
evening’s festivities will be the first step you must take in your adjustment.”

“But all those strangers—” she protested weakly.

“—are my friends and acquaintances,” he finished for her. “What better
way to make friends than my introducing you to them? I’ll not force you to go,
but I strongly believe you should. Please, milady...”

For a moment, the rebellion in Allison’s eyes made Aidric believe she
would flatly refuse to attend again despite his insistence, but her anxious
expression suddenly changed to one of mischief as she said, “All right. I’ll
go, but first you must promise to do something for me.”

“I’ll do anything that you wish of me,” he said, relieved that she had
agreed. Then remembering the mischief in her eyes, he quickly amended,
“Provided, milady, that it’s legal, of course.”

Allison made a face. “Please stop calling me ‘milady’!”

“All right, Aidric, spill it out. I want to know every single detail!”
Selwyn demanded impatiently as he and Aidric lounged in Selwyn’s quarters.
Selwyn’s wife was currently out on an assignment in Biros and wouldn’t return
until later that evening, so they had the suite all to themselves.

“About what?” Aidric replied innocently with a tired smile.

“Oh, for the love of Seni!” Selwyn boomed in frustration. “You know
‘what.’ The Golden Mage—what’s she like? You have spent sand-marks with her
alone, so you must have some sense of her true personality.”

“Her name is Allison,
not
‘the Golden Mage,’” Aidric corrected
him, rubbing his temples a little in an unsuccessful attempt to ward off the
headache he felt rising. “Aidius, she’s just a maiden, Selwyn—a very frightened
maiden to be truthful—and none of this Golden Mage business has been easy for
her to accept. It makes me want to laugh when I think about how you and
everyone else were so afraid of her when I know she’s more frightened of you!”

“Are you serious?” Selwyn asked in disbelief. “With all the power she
has at her call, she fears
us
?”

“Quite,” he said, “and shouldn’t she be frightened? It’s
she
who
is the stranger in our kingdom. Her life is ours to decide because of that
fact, and she damned well knows it.”

“I hadn’t even considered that,” Selwyn said thoughtfully. “I suppose
you are right, but that image of her sure doesn’t correspond with the
larger-than-life image the prophecy makes of her. However, her beauty could
surely make any man forget that she could very well kill him—or that he were
married!”

Aidric felt heat rise to his cheeks at Selwyn’s words and then shifted
uncomfortably when Selwyn narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him, inadvertently
causing him to blush more deeply. Aidric silently cursed himself.

Then Selwyn suddenly laughed gleefully and said, “Bright thrones above!
I do believe that Seni has declared you ruler of the Thrones! You’ve fallen in
love with her, haven’t you?”

“Not so loud!” Aidric hissed, annoyed. “You’ll have the whole damned
court gossiping with your loquacious tongue!”

“Ha! So I assumed correctly,” Sel said triumphantly. “Of course it had
to be the Golden Mage. No simple, lowly maiden would ever do for His Pickiness,
am I correct?”

“Hush, or I’ll spread throughout the court that you fainted out of
fear
at the sight of a beautiful maiden!” Aidric warned.

“I stand rebuked,” Selwyn said in mock horror, “yet, you haven’t denied
that what I’ve said is true!”

Selwyn’s look of triumph suddenly turned to one of dumb surprise as he
suddenly found himself landing firmly on his backside on the hard, marble floor
as his chair flew out from beneath him.

Aidric laughed at the bafflement on Selwyn’s face and said
mischievously, “Poke fun at me, do you?”

“Completely unfair!” Selwyn shot back irritably, rubbing his sore bottom.
“I don’t have the ability to do the same to you!”

“Ah, the privileges of fate,” Aidric replied with a chuckle as he stood
and offered a hand to his friend, who took it grudgingly and hoisted himself to
his feet.

“One of these days—” Selwyn threatened.

“Not so fast, my friend,” Aidric said with a grin. “I do believe we are
now even. Compensation, you see, for knocking
me
on my ass this
morning.”

Selwyn smacked his forehead and said, “Ho! I stand rebuked again! Shall
we call a truce then, oh Mightiest of Mages?”

Aidric grimaced at the playful title. “A truce,” he agreed as they took
their seats again, Selwyn carefully sitting down in his chair as if he
suspected Aidric of pulling it out from under him again, truce or no truce.
Aidric decided to be merciful. He didn’t think his friend’s backside would take
another fall without consequence.

Aidric sobered a little, the amusement dying down from his eyes as he
stared at his best friend, uncertain if he should confide his feelings to him
when he, himself, wasn’t altogether sure about them. He didn’t think what he
felt for Allison was as deep as love—something a little beyond affection,
maybe—but love? If he was being honest with himself, he knew it would be very
easy to fall in love with a gentle and playful soul like Allison.

The question was,
could
she ever come to love him as more than
her mentor? Was it even possible for her to see him as more than a figure of
authority, as just a man, or was he only raising his hopes to only have them
come crashing back down on him? He didn’t think he could handle that kind of
crushing disappointment after what he had gone through with his last
relationship. Point in fact, he wondered if he could even handle another
relationship period!

“Aidric, what is it?” Selwyn asked, alarm creeping into his tone.

Aidric sighed. He
needed
to share his fears with someone before
they became a burden too heavy to carry alone, and who better to help him rid
himself of some of that burden than his best friend? He carried the weight of
too many painful secrets as it was.

“Sel, I’m at a loss of what to do,” he confessed, letting his agitation
show. “I admit that this mysterious maiden has stirred my emotions to the point
of distraction, but love?” He laughed tightly. “It’s just too soon to be
bandying that word about. I have only known her for less than a day!”

“But you know that doesn’t matter,” Selwyn said pointedly, all the
teasing gone from his voice. “You know that some people have fallen in love
from the first moment they laid eyes upon one another. Aren’t Raya and I proof
of that? Is it so difficult for you to believe that the same has happened to
you? I suspected that you were at least attracted to her from the vicious way
you were ready to defend her honor at the slightest provocation, as though she
was a lifelong friend rather than a dangerous stranger. The king probably has
his own suspicions as well, from the strange looks he was giving you from time
to time. Despite what you believe, I wasn’t cowering in fear the whole time we
were in your bedroom!”

Aidric smiled despite himself. “My own feelings are not the only thing
that has me troubled,” he confessed. “It’s
hers
that are what really
matter here. What if all she ever sees me as is a friend and mentor? Aidius,
she is to be my
apprentice
after all! I should respect that relationship
between us more than my thoughts are allowing me to!”

“Horseturds,” Selwyn snapped impatiently. “You and your bloody ethics!
You know as well as I that no one would think the less of you for bedding your student.
Aidius, you know Patrym practically has a harem in his bed every night, most of
them his bardic students, and no one thinks the less of him for it.” He smiled
wryly at Aidric. “No one, that is, except for
you
. Aidius, Aidric, as
virtuous as you’ve become lately, sometimes I think you should just give up
magecraft and take vows. I heard the Order of the Providence is looking to
recruit more virtuous souls. With your Foresight, you most certainly could—”

“Sel, can you be serious for at least a couple of depths?” Aidric
growled in annoyance. “I’m in a very serious bind here!”

“Sorry.” Sel actually sounding a little guilty. “I’ll behave, I promise.”

Ha! I’ll believe it the day Roderick takes vows!

“And of all the people you could have chosen as an example, it had to
be Patrym,” Aidric added in disgust. “That self-centered spawn-of-a-demon has
the morals of a pig—no, I’m being unfair to the pigs—and you are comparing
him
to
me
! Now I feel worse!”

There was no love lost between Aidric and Patrym; it was no secret.
Aidric had never liked the arrogant young bard, and he tolerated him only
because for what the distasteful man lacked in personality, he more than made
up for it in music. Patrym had a voice that seemed to have originated in the Thrones,
and few could match his skill with various instruments. Only two men could
claim to be his better. As far as Aidric was concerned, the only time Patrym
was actually tolerable was when he was performing.

Then, there was also the matter of The Song—

“All right, so Patrym was a bad choice,” Selwyn agreed, “but my point
is still there.”

“No one must forget that she is
not
a normal maiden,” Aidric said
darkly, “least of all me, although it’s damned easy for me to do just that. Her
training is very important to the welfare of Lamia, and I
cannot
allow
my personal feelings to interfere with her schooling. I mean, say I do pursue
her and she turns down my advances? You know I would never be comfortable in
her presence again, nor she in mine. That could be disastrous for us all. Do I
dare take the risk? Especially after what occurred with my last liaison…”

“Of course you do,” Selwyn replied firmly without hesitation. “Aidric,
no man alive can compare to your chivalry, nor, Seni help me, do I dare say to
your looks. I don’t believe any of that would escape her notice. From what I
observed in court today, she already trusts you, which is already a big plus in
your favor. Her whole demeanor made it perfectly clear when she was near you.”

Aidric frowned. “But—”

“No ‘buts,’” Selwyn cut in. “You’ve never had a problem catching a
woman’s eye before, and before you say it, the ‘time’ thing will not be an
obstacle for either of you. You most certainly will be spending a fair amount
of time together for the next year or so. That fact, alone, should make your
chances better than usual. I also hardly think that she will be another Alina.”

Aidric winced inwardly at the mention of Alina, but he held his peace.
He was in no mood to get into yet another “discussion” about
her
with
Sel.

“Come now, Aidric, live a little. It’s
high time you emerge from the protection of the shield you have cast about you
and take a chance. After all, is life not anything but chance?”

“I wish I shared your confidence,” Aidric said wistfully.

“And why shouldn’t you?” Selwyn demanded. “Damn it, Aidric, you
wouldn’t have the position you hold now if you weren’t
majorly
confident.
You face armies numbering in the thousands almost every day, spitting in
Death’s face, and yet you can’t face one woman!”

“Don’t you
dare
laugh at me!” Aidric barked angrily, glaring
over at Selwyn with such fierceness that Selwyn shrank back into his chair,
looking cowed.

“Aidric, I didn’t mean—” Selwyn stammered, his face growing pale.

“Oh, Aidius, Selwyn, I didn’t mean to—” Aidric babbled, stricken, as he
laid his head into his hands. “I’m sorry—I—oh, damn it! Do you see what this is
doing to me? I feel as if my insides have been torn out!”

“Aidric,” Selwyn said carefully, making him lift his head, “don’t
torture yourself over this. It accomplishes nothing but causing you pain. If
you feel this strongly about her, then just rid your mind of all your ‘what
ifs’ and court her, or talk this over with the king if you are still unsure of
what to do. He’s a lot better at easing your mind than anyone. Just forget
about all that other teacher/student nonsense, and for once think of yourself!”
He smiled weakly at Aidric. “After all, I don’t believe the courting of one
maiden will be the downfall of the kingdom. If that were the case, then we
would’ve been in trouble long ago!”

Aidric chuckled at the absurdity of that thought, his spirits beginning
to rise a bit.
Sel’s right
, he thought reluctantly.
I
have
been
neglecting my own needs for far too long. It’s time I did something for myself
for a change. I only hope that I’m not about to repeat the worst mistake of my
life.

He offered Sel a smile. “You are right as always, my friend. It’s no
wonder Raya married you. You probably pestered her until she grew weary of it
and said yes!”

He ducked as Selwyn threw an apple at him and retorted, “That shows
what you know you pompous, arrogant, poor excuse of a mage!”

Aidric grinned as he ducked to avoid the second apple Selwyn shot his
way.

***

“So, what’s your opinion of her?” Diryan asked his wife with a tired sigh
as he sank into an overstuffed chair in the sitting room of their suite.

“She’s a sweet child. There’s no doubt of that, but she’s also a bit
strange,” the queen replied with a half-smile as she placed a hand lovingly
onto his shoulder. “I suppose the strangeness is to be expected. She is, after
all, not of our world. However, others may not be so quick to see it as I do.
I’m afraid that one’s preconceptions are far too often exercised over one’s
reason—especially in this court.”

“Too true,” Diryan replied gravely. “I had a rather unpleasant
conversation earlier—to be truthful, an argument—with Galen regarding the girl.
That’s why I asked your opinion of her—to see if any of Galen’s arguments had
any sense to them, however farfetched they may have seemed at the time.
Frankly, although I defended her, I’m not entirely certain how I feel towards
her or what to even think about this whole mess. There are so many unanswered
questions about her mysterious arrival. It’s gotten to the point where I’m at
the brink of pulling out all my hair over the matter!”

“Then why don’t you ask the child, herself, these questions?” Ileanna
asked gently.

“I have,” he said with a snort of frustration, “and she is as puzzled
over them as I.” Diryan began to rub his temples, feeling another headache coming
on.
I don’t need this—

“Perhaps you should consider a Seer of the Providence to ease your
mind,” Ileanna suggested. “After all, it was one from their order that Foresaw
the coming of this so-called Golden Mage.”

Diryan laughed dryly and said, “What good would come of it? They would
only speak their endless riddles and say that Seni’s will must not be
questioned, just accepted. Be damned with all that nonsense! I need answers,
not riddles! What I really want to know is why
now
? Why did the Golden
Mage appear today and not at some future time? What is the significance? I’m
sure there is one since there always is. With a silent war going on, why did
Seni—if indeed it was Seni who sent her and not some demon from Ter-ob—burden
me with yet another grievance? If what the prophecy speaks of is true, then she
could very well cause our downfall, and Lamia would be in the hands of a man
who cares nothing for anyone but himself.