The Kingdom of Eternal Sorrow (The Golden Mage Book 1) (18 page)

“Whoa,” Aidric interrupted with a chuckle. “Slow down a bit! You are
babbling in your native tongue, and I can’t understand a word of it! Please don’t
cry. I can’t bear to see such a lovely maiden cry.”

“I’m
not
lovely,” she protested, sniffling. “I’m just an ungrateful,
self-centered—”

“Come now, we’ll have none of that kind of talk,” Aidric said firmly. “You
are
not
any of those things.”

“Yes I am,” Allison insisted bitterly. “I blamed you for something I
did myself. There’s no excuse for what I said!”

“What do you say we just forget the whole incident and just
start over?” he suggested. “Pointing fingers never gets anyone anywhere, in my
experience. We still have the little matter of solving the problem of your
phobia. I can’t leave things as they are, but I also can’t help you unless you
are willing to confide whatever secret you have convinced yourself should not
be told. On my honor, it will never leave this room if that’s what you desire,
and I’ll not judge you by it.”

“I want to tell you,” Allison replied wearily. “God, it would be such a
relief to tell someone, to unburden myself, but it’s just so hard! There are only
two other people besides my mom who know about it—my sister and my best friend.
You must understand that it’s hard for me to confide something so personal,
that scarred me so badly, to someone I’ve only met today.”

For a long moment, Aidric regarded her with a peculiar expression that
she couldn’t quite decipher before he said slowly, “I pray to Seni that it’s
not what I’m beginning to suspect.”

At first, Allison stared at him blankly, but then her eyes widened in
horror when she realized what it was he was implying. “No!” she said quickly,
“it’s not
that
. It was bad, but thank God it wasn’t
that
horrible…”

She gritted her teeth. Crap, she was rambling again, and
neither one of them needed that right now. He was right. She just couldn’t go
on pretending the problem didn’t exist. That was no way to live, especially now
that she had so many more important, scary things to deal with.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Allison proceeded to tell
Aidric about all the years of hell she had endured under her stepfather's hand.
She told him about his fanatical devotion to his religion and what she had come
to realize was a cult that he belonged to, how he had forced Katherine and her
to read their Bibles and pray for hours before and after school, and if they disobeyed,
how he had beaten them into submission.

When she told him how her stepfather had always looked down at her with
his hard, suspicious eyes, trying to decide if she had sinned enough that day
to warrant punishment (which he always did), Aidric abruptly stopped her.
“That’s what I need. It’s your stepfather’s eyes that you see in all eyes that
regard you with scrutiny. You see them and subconsciously expect punishment,
but you don’t need to fear him tonight. I can block those certain memories from
surfacing, and all you will feel is the natural anxiety one with your diffident
nature always feels when meeting a large number of strange people.”

Allison closed her eyes briefly as a surge of relief flooded through
her. Did she dare hope?

“However, I’ll not block those memories forever,” he warned. “You must
come to terms with your stepfather’s abuse before these attacks you’ve been
experiencing will be but unpleasant memories. I’m not a true
calendae
,
but I can send you to one if you wish whom I’m confident can help you sort
through your feelings.”

“Someday,” she agreed. “For now, if you’re sure you can keep me from
freaking out so badly, then it’s more than enough.”

“Positive,” he assured her as he hugged her affectionately, causing her
to blush furiously.

To hide her reaction, Allison looked down at her bare feet and mumbled,
“Some legendary mage I’m turning out to be. I can’t even face a bunch of
regular people at a party. I bet the prophecy never said that the Golden Mage
was also going to be such a pain in the ass.”

“—or so emotional,” Aidric teased. “Now, if I have your permission,
little cat, I must tap into your mind to place the blocks on your memories.”

Her face coloring, Allison muttered, refusing to meet his eyes, “You
don’t have to ask my permission. I only said that because I was afraid you
would find out about my past abuse. Just as long as you don’t make a habit of
doing it all the time, you can read my mind whenever you feel you should.”

“You should take care with what you offer me,” he said with mock
seriousness, his eyes shining with mirth. “You may find me in your mind when
it’s least convenient for you. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping, and I could
keep you up all night with requests for stories of your world!”

“You wouldn’t,” she said in alarm.

“You think so?” he countered with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t believe you’re that cruel.”

He sighed and said, “Too true, but I bet you didn’t know I was just in
your head.”

Allison raised a hand automatically to her temple and said, “You mean—”

“—it’s done,” Aidric finished with an amused grin.

He blocked some of my memories
, she thought wondrously, still
unable to grow accustomed to all the seemingly miraculous things he was able to
perform—things that she would soon learn to perform as well.
But, I can’t
remember which ones—oh, how stupid can you get, Allison? Of
course
you
can’t recall which ones. That was the whole point!

“You look a little unruffled,” Aidric commented with a
slight frown.

“It’s just that I can’t get used to all the things you can do with just
the power of your mind,” Allison explained. “It’s all a little unnerving,
that’s all. I just need time to adjust.”

Aidric released her and took her right hand into his, squeezing it
gently. “Allison, I know it may seem like an impossibility at the moment, but believe
me when I say you
will
adjust, and maybe then things will be a little
easier for you.”

She couldn’t help but notice that he still held her hand firmly in his
own with no signs of releasing. She chanced a glance up at his face and saw
that he was staring down at her intently, his eyes narrowed and unreadable. Her
heart fluttered a little at the intensity of that gaze.

Could he—no. You’re only trying to see something that isn’t there. Why
in heaven’s name would someone so amazing want a crybaby like
you
?

The sound of someone clearing their throat shook Allison out of her
thoughts, and both Aidric and she instantly turned their heads in the direction
of the sound. Allison’s eyes fell on their unexpected visitor, and she drew in
a sharp breath, her heart sinking to the bottom of her feet.

A beautiful, raven-haired girl stood in the doorway, regarding both
Allison and Aidric with what appeared to be a sly grin. She looked around Kat’s
age, although the eyes that stared back at her held a wisdom that seemed to
suggest her initial assessment was laughably wrong. Her manner was relaxed, casual,
but she still managed to convey an air of elegance about her. Allison was startled
once again when she realized that the girl’s eyes were a rich, golden color.

She must be Aidric’s girlfriend or wife, even
, she thought,
feeling her chest tighten painfully.
Of course she is. She’s exotically
beautiful and far more sophisticated than I could ever be.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” the young woman said in a
slightly accented, musical voice.

“Not at all, my friend,” Aidric replied as he quickly dropped Allison’s
hand as if it had suddenly burned him.

“Well, beast, aren’t you going to introduce us?” she asked as she
regarded Allison curiously.

Aidric smiled sheepishly at her and said, “Of course I was. Raya, I
would like you to meet Allison McNeal. Allison, this is Raya Phelanike, one of
my closest friends and also the wife of another one of my closest friends,
Selwyn, the redhead you nearly frightened out of his wits earlier.”

The wife of…huh?
Allison thought in confusion as she stared at
the woman whom she was so certain had been Aidric’s girlfriend. She was
married
.
Allison couldn’t help feeling relieved that this beautiful girl would never be
competition to her.

Raya, thankfully oblivious to her thoughts, smiled warmly at her and
said, “So we meet at last, Allison. Funny, I pictured you to be much
taller—considering all the tales I heard while I traveled through Biros
earlier.”

“Bright Thrones above! Some of the villagers already know of her
existence?” Aidric exclaimed with a worried frown.

“So far, I believe only those of Biros know,” Raya replied with a
chuckle, “but knowing how much
those
villagers love to wag their
tongues, I suspect the whole kingdom should be well informed by now!”

“Aidius, I can well imagine what tales must be circulating around with
the townsfolk. I had hoped we could have kept her presence here a secret until
tonight to avoid such rumors from beginning.”

“Ha!” Raya snorted in disgust. “No such luck, beast. Not with all the
gossips here in the palace, and you know very well how most of them are prone
to exaggeration. As I was riding into Biros, a small mob immediately surrounded
me to ‘warn’ me that the Golden Mage had been found and captured just outside
the palace. According to them, she was—oh, let me see if I remember correctly—‘eleven
handspans tall, had golden hair that reached the ground, crimson eyes as bright
as any demon’s, and had cast a spell over the Mage-general, bewitching him to
become her slave!’”

She laughed heartily as Allison cringed. “Well, at least the hue of
your hair was true enough. It was all I could do to prevent myself from
laughing in the poor fools’ faces! Hellsfire, sometimes I’m convinced the
villagers have read one too many Ter-ob chronicles in the dead of night. If you
ask me, any such chronicles should all be destroyed! They practically pleaded
with me to send an army to protect them from her!”

“That most certainly won’t prevent them from showing up at the
celebration tonight to gawk at her,” Aidric said dryly.

“That’s only too true,” she replied with a sigh of the long-suffering.

“Great,” Allison muttered angrily, more to herself than to them, “just
what I need. Everyone here seems to think that I’m some kind of monster!”

Raya flashed her a sympathetic smile and said, “Don’t pay them any
mind, milady. They are simple folk who fear anything and everything they don’t
understand. I’m sure when they see with their own eyes and not their ears and
imaginations that you are just a normal woman, their fear will subside.” She
tilted her head to the side with a wistful smile. “That is, a normal woman with
not-so-ordinary golden hair. Aidius, what I would trade—who I would
kill
—to
have been born with your tresses!”

“My hair’s not as extraordinary as you all seem to think it is,”
Allison insisted uncomfortably.

“The six hells it’s not,” Raya said excitedly. “Why, you’ll
be the envy of every maiden in the kingdom!”

“All the more reason for people not to accept me,” Allison said with a
painful smile. “I don’t think I’ll ever truly belong here.”

“Nonsense,” Raya said gently. “I, too, came here from a far-off,
strange land.” She smiled wryly. “Well, not as strange as
yours
, but strange
enough for these stiff-necked old goats. Everyone took one look at me and
decided that I was a barbarian that needed to be shooed away.”

“Why?” Allison demanded. Somehow, she couldn’t picture
anyone
ever
calling someone as beautiful and poised as Raya a barbarian.
“A barbarian is the last word I would use to describe you.”

Raya laughed airily and replied, “Oh, I didn’t always look and speak
the way I do now. I come from a land far beyond Sarim called Hrefna.”

She spoke the name of her homeland with enough emphasize to suggest
that the name alone was explanation enough, and Allison stared at her blankly,
the name of the two kingdoms meaning nothing more to her than a couple of
random names she had run across while reading earlier.

Raya suddenly slapped her forehead in understanding and said, “Oh, how
forgetful of me. You, of course, know little of our lands, and you probably
haven’t heard the stories of my people—at least not
yet
.” She grinned
wickedly. “We don’t believe in wearing clothing or finery of any kind. Both men
and women go about either stark naked or with a mere loincloth if they are not
wed. Only in winter do we wear animal skins to keep warm.

“When I appeared at Lamia’s borders, I wore only a loincloth and my
hair to cover my nudity. Had it not been by the will of Seni that I knew a bit
of the Lamian tongue, I most definitely would’ve spent my first night here in
the dungeons. As modest and proper as these Lamians like to
think
they
are, you can well imagine the shock. Yet, despite our differences, I was
allowed to become an apprentice-mage.

“At first, I fit in here at the palace as well as a Seninae does in a
brothel. That is, until I met a certain young man named Aidric who happened to
introduce me to his best friend. Well, what can I say? Selwyn managed to
‘civilize’ me and win my heart all in the same instant.”

“Although he wasn’t too thrilled that his wife’s assets had been
displayed for all to see,” Aidric said with amusement.

“Hush beast, or I’ll tell Milady Allison all about the time a certain
Mage-general had one too many ‘sips’ of wine and stripped—”

“Ah! You wouldn’t dare!” Aidric interrupted with a horrified
expression.

“Oh, wouldn’t I?” she purred sweetly.

Aidric suffered for a few more beats before Allison laughed at his
expression and rescued him by saying, “Although I’d
very
much like to
hear that particular story, I think I’ll wait and let Aidric tell me all about
it himself.”

 Raya pouted in mock disappointment and said, “Damn, and I
was looking so forward to finally humiliating His Highness for all those times
he’s done so to me. Oh well, mark my words, beast, I’ll have my say another
time when you least expect it, and when I do, no one will be there to rescue
you!”

“Yes, yes,” Aidric said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“
Anyway
, as I was saying before His Highness so rudely
interrupted me,” Raya continued, “a few people have even forgotten that I
arrived here practically nude and that they once called me a barbarian, and
they’ll soon forget that they ever called
you
the Golden Mage.”

“I really don’t think people are bound to forget how
I
came to
be here and who I am,” Allison said unhappily.

“Sure they will,” she insisted. “After the initial excitement of your
arrival dies down a bit, a little time passes, and they see for themselves that
you aren’t going to grow another head or other such nonsense, you’ll be nothing
more than another Lamian mage to them.”

“She’s right,” Aidric cut in with a nod. “It’s as I’ve told you. You
just need to allow yourself and us enough time to adjust.”

“And speaking of time,” Raya put in, “if any of us intends on being on
time for the celebration, then we had better cease gabbing and get ready. That’s
why I came here in the first place, to see if Allison needed any help to
prepare herself for her first social engagement here. And Aidric,” her lips
stretched up into that same wicked smile she had used earlier, “I hope for the
love of Seni that you aren’t going to show yourself in public dressed as you
are. I suggest you at least go change your shirt. What would the court say if
they saw you now?”

For the first time, Allison noticed that Aidric’s shirt was still damp
where she had cried on his chest and heavily wrinkled in several places where
she had clung so tightly to him. That’s when she realized how she must have
appeared to Raya, though the younger woman was probably too polite to comment
on it. Her face was still no doubt stained with tears, her hair likely
disheveled beyond belief, and she was dressed in nothing but a robe over her
underwear.
So much for first impressions
, Allison thought with a
grimace.

“Why do I suddenly feel as though I’m being pushed out the door on my
backside?” Aidric said with a laugh.

“How remarkably perceptive of you,” Raya replied dryly as
Aidric took both her hand and Allison’s for a departing kiss and disappeared
from the room before Allison could even blink.

“He’s such a charmer,” Raya commented with a warm smile as Allison
regarded the other woman curiously.

She felt a bit embarrassed when Raya turned her gaze to her again and
caught her staring. “I—I’m sorry,” Allison apologized quickly. “I didn’t mean
to stare. It’s just you’re probably as different to me as I am to you, and I
guess I couldn’t help it. I hope I haven’t offended you.”

“Oh,
pash
,” Raya said cheerfully. “I’ve been doing my own fair
share of staring as well. After all, it’s not every day one gets to meet a
legend.”

“I’m no legend,” Allison insisted, suddenly feeling very awkward. “Just
look at me! You know damned well that I’ve been crying. The evidence is still
probably visible all over my face as well as on Aidric’s shirt.”

“Care to talk about it?” she asked.

Before she realized she was going to do it, Allison blurted out, “I
don’t know how or why this has happened to me. Aidric told me who was likely
the one who brought me here, but I’m not sure I’m ready to believe that it was
your deity that did it. I’m not sure of anything anymore except that I’m probably
never going home. I—”

Allison abruptly cut off what she had been about to say.
Why the
hell am I telling her all of this? A moment ago, I thought of her as a
prospective rival, and now I’m confiding in her as if she’s my best friend!

It had just seemed so natural for her to confide her fears to the young
girl. In a way, Raya was a lot like Aidric, confident, strong, so maybe that
was why Allison had warmed to the girl as quickly as she did. She wouldn’t at
all be surprised if she and Raya really did become good friends over the next
few hours.

“Oh, listen to me, babbling on and on about my troubles like an idiot. I’m
sure you don’t want to listen to all of that.”

“I don’t mind,” Raya assured her. “I understand how lonely you must
feel—here amidst a sea of strangers without any family or friends. Sometimes it
helps to talk to someone else who has experienced being in a similar situation.
Sel’s told me a little of how you came to be here and what little Aidric has
told him about your world. Most of it is almost too incredible to believe.”

“I know how you feel,” Allison said. “When everyone here insisted that
magic was real and that I, myself, had the potential to become a powerful mage,
I couldn’t believe it was true. I
still
don’t believe it, really. I feel
like I’ve stepped back in time, or more accurately, into the pages of a fantasy
novel. I keep thinking that any moment now, I’ll wake up and find that this has
just been a horrible nightmare.”

“I can’t even began to imagine everything you must be going through,” Raya
said sympathetically. “I wish I could offer a solution that would help you to
return to your homeland, but I can’t. What I
can
offer you is my
friendship if you’ll accept it.”

Allison stared at Raya in mute surprise. She hadn’t really expected the
other girl to say anything like that so soon, and she didn’t know quite how to
respond. She had known Raya for less than an hour, and Raya was already
offering her friendship. It made her feel a little ashamed. She really didn’t
deserve all the kindness given to her so far.

“I—I don’t know what to say,” Allison admitted softly. “I mean, you
hardly know me.”

“I know you well enough,” Raya said firmly. “Trust me, Aidric will be
the first to tell you that I don’t offer my friendship lightly. We Hrefnans, by
nature, are a solitary lot.”

“I’d very much like for us to be friends,” Allison said with a smile.

“Good,” Raya said, returning the smile. “Now that we’ve broken the ice
a bit, let’s see about getting you ready for tonight’s festivities. A robe,
although glamorous in the bedroom, wouldn’t be so popular at a courtyard
gathering!”

“I agree,” Allison said, feeling relaxed for the first time that day. “Queen
Ileanna gave me a dress to wear tonight since I obviously wasn’t given the
opportunity to pack when I was so graciously dragged here. Could you possibly
help me with my hair, though? I just usually brush it and let it hang wherever
it happens to fall. I don’t know the least bit about Lamian hairstyles, and I
don’t want to embarrass Aidric or you by looking disheveled.”