The Kiss (7 page)

“Good idea,” Krista mumbled sleepily.

“So, how good was your night, exactly?”

The only reply Eliza got was her best friend’s snore.

Chapter Nine

Waking up for class was extremely hard. So hard in fact, that Eliza decided to skip Psychology at eleven and go straight to her English class at two in the afternoon.

She took longer than usual to get ready, all the time trying to convince herself it had nothing to do with the possibility of seeing Nate at the cafeteria after class.

Mondays had always been a source of anxiety, since she and Krista had a break between courses at the same time Greg and his buddies did. Eliza refused to let them drive her off, so they’d all inevitably meet at the cafeteria, where she’d have to put up with whatever idiotic behavior Nate would decide to direct her way.

That specific Monday she couldn’t wait to see him, even though she wouldn’t admit that out loud.

She just wanted to check his reactions when he saw her, she reasoned. Maybe there would be something to let her know what on earth was on his mind. If his friends started nudging him and laughing at her… Well, she’d probably wish the earth would open up and swallow her whole, but she’d also know that it had all been some kind of game and stop agonizing over it.

She put on some mascara and finished her light make up with a generous amount of lip gloss, watching her reflection in the mirror. Her hair seemed a bit too wild. Did she have time to wash it and redo it?
Nah.
Unless she could skip English, too. She shook her head. She’d stop freaking and just go.

“Kris, I’m out of here. Want me to set the alarm clock for you?” she asked her friend’s still sleeping form. A negative sounding groan indicated Krista had no wish to wake up.

“Ok, call me if when you’re up. I can bring us a late lunch after class, and you can fill me in on Bill.”

Krista turned on her back and smiled sweetly at the sound of her boyfriend’s name. The happiness on her face was enough to make Eliza smile as well, all the way to and through class.

***

The smile disappeared from her lips about fifteen minutes into her break. Greg was at his usual table with Bill and Ethan, but Nate was nowhere to be seen. Eliza had at first thought Nate might have been held up in class, but her agitation grew as the minutes ticked by.

When Greg broke away from his pack and walked toward the door, she quickly jumped out of her seat and rushed after him.

She caught up with him right outside the men’s room. “Hey!”

The look on his face when he twirled around to face her was that of a cornered animal. “Eliza?”

“Where’s your friend?” She had no time for small talk.

“Who? Nate? Don’t know. He didn’t show up.” He sidestepped her, but Eliza blocked his way into the restroom the moment he did so.

“So he’s home then?” She gave him a toothy grin, knowing full well she didn’t appear half as cool as she tried to be.

Greg’s eyes were flicking from her to his surroundings, and he kept shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “I guess,” he mumbled.

She looked at him expectantly. “Well, where is
home
?” And what had she ever seen in him? The way he was avoiding her gaze somehow disgusted her more than all the remarks he’d made at her expense.

“Listen, Eliza—” He’d taken that tone of voice he’d used on her so often when they’d been together. The one that said, “
Listen to your superiors, little girl
.”

That tone irked her to no end. “No,
you
listen. I want to talk to Nate, and I want to do so now. I don’t know what he’s up to, but I swear to God, if I find out you’re in on it—”

She hadn’t realized she had raised her voice until he took a step back and flinched.

“Okay, what the
hell
is wrong with you?” She closed the distance between them to poke his shoulder with one finger. “I’m not gonna knee you in the…
there
again.” She indicated his groin with a vague gesture.

“That’s not—I’m not afraid of
you
.” He squared his shoulders and looked down at her, making their height difference all the more noticeable.

“That’s not the feeling I get.” Remembering their talk the previous night, she added, “Maybe I should start telling people how you and Nate—”

“No.” He grabbed both her shoulders, but let go almost immediately and looked around once again.

“What’s going on with you?” His behavior was so weird it wasn’t even funny. Well, maybe a little funny. She wanted to yell
boo
and see if he tried to run.

“Eliza, I’ve been nice to you, right?” Her face must have betrayed how incredulous she felt, because he went on. “I mean
lately
. I’ve been nice
lately
. Haven’t been teasing you. Even apologized.”

She narrowed her eyes, trying to understand what he was getting at. “If you don’t explain, I can guarantee I’ll make it hurt. For you.”

His whole body sagged. “I got a note.”

“Not much sense is being made here.”

“An anonymous note. Saying if I ever treated you wrong again, they’d know.”

“Who would…? Oh, right. Anonymous.” She rolled her eyes. “So?”

“They knew something about me. Something I want to be kept secret.” He gave her his best puppy-eyed look. “If I hurt you again, my life is ruined.”

Eliza let a few long moments go by, taking a perverse pleasure in his obvious discomfort. “Well, tell me where Nate lives and you won’t have to worry about that,” she finally said.

***

Nate took a long drag from his cigarette and, for the millionth time, told himself he wasn’t a coward for running out on her. More, that he wasn’t an idiot for doing so while she was topless.

He never should have kissed her at
The Zoo
. He should have let sleeping dogs lie. Still, he couldn’t regret those perfect few moments when she’d returned his passion that night, or how she’d responded to him just a few short hours ago.

He sure as hell felt like shit for the look she’d given him when she’d realized he’d been the one to kiss her in the dark. The look of confusion and pain that had replaced the one of desire in her eyes would stay with him forever, he knew. It was that look he’d hoped to escape by fleeing.

He wished he could just run back to her dorm room, sweep her off her feet, and admit everything. If he could just tell her how he’d tried to spare her Greg’s plans, if he could tell her he’d fallen for her before they’d ever spoken…

She wouldn’t listen—not that he could blame her.

Greg wouldn’t mind if Nate made a move for her now, but Nate could never be with Eliza if Greg was in his life, acting as a constant reminder of how she’d been played. Nate couldn’t possibly expect her to have to see her ex-boyfriend, when the two of them went out as a couple.

He let out a bitter laugh.
When they went out as a couple
. Eliza would never give him the time of day; he’d made sure of that through a string of idiotic stunts.

Still, maybe there was a chance…

He shook his head, threw the cigarette butt off the roof, and climbed back inside his room. There was no chance for
them
, but there was still a chance for him. He would stop pretending to be someone he wasn’t.

Even if that left him completely alone.

He was a coward. Not just for leaving her the previous night, but for not daring to show up at campus. What was he afraid of?

He rubbed his eyes. Staying awake all night was taking its toll on him. He needed a cup of coffee.

The kitchen was downstairs. He made it there without tripping, though his feet felt made of lead.

When the coffee was ready, he poured two cups and took one of them to his dad.

“Making me coffee, Nathaniel?” The man looked up from his newspaper. “Something must be seriously wrong with you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep making fun of me. See if I ever do something nice for you again.” Nate’s answer lacked conviction with his mind preoccupied as it was.

Jonathan put the paper aside and looked at his son with his unique mixture of parental love and shrewd observance. “Is there something you want to talk about?”

Yes. He wanted to talk about how he’d decided to break away from the only people he’d called friends for as long as he could remember, and was afraid to face them. He needed to talk about that girl he was head over heels for, who hated his guts because he’d been a complete jackass to her, and the idea of seeing that written all over her face again scared the hell out of him. “No. Nothing. I’ll be in my room.”

A little time alone should help him figure out what to do. He couldn’t avoid everyone forever. Of course, Eliza wouldn’t mind never seeing him again. He punched the doorframe of his bedroom. If he lingered on that thought too long, he might crumble, so he wouldn’t think about Eliza until he was all right with himself.

***

Jonathan had an
ah-huh
moment when, an hour later, he opened the door to a pretty young lady asking for his son by that horrible nickname the boy had given himself. Jonathan asked if she’d like something to drink while he called Nathaniel downstairs.

The girl’s face fell. “Umm, I’m not sure he’ll come down if you say I’m here…”

“Then perhaps it shouldn’t be up to him. His room is upstairs, last door on your right.”

Chapter Ten

She was standing outside Nate’s bedroom.
Nathaniel’s
bedroom, his father had told her.

Funny how she’d never wondered what Nate’s real name was. Even funnier that she could never have guessed he had a father like the man who told her to call him Briggs. She hadn’t given Nate’s place much thought, but never in a million years could she have imagined it’d be full of light, with frilly curtains and coasters on tables. Or crystal vases with flowers on them dispersed throughout the house.

She reached Nate’s door and took a deep breath, pondering on whether she should knock or not.

Maybe she should just barge in, with a jolly
hello there
.

She knocked timidly.

“Come in, Dad. I’m decent.”

She would have snorted if her legs weren’t a bit unsteady. “Er…guess again.” She opened the door
and…walked
into an alternate dimension.

Nate was wearing glasses. And reading. She looked at the cover of the book he was holding. It was
poetry
.

She wouldn’t be surprised to hear
Welcome to the Twilight Zone
any minute now.

“I—I—I…” Eloquent. So very eloquent.

Nate jumped off his bed, tossing the book aside. “Eliza? What are you doing here?”

He sounded different, too.

Not knowing what to make of all the information clouding her mind, she went for her favorite course of action: attack. “You kissed me. Why did you kiss me? Twice!”

*

He had fallen asleep while reading. There was no other explanation.

Eliza was there,
in his room
, because it was all a dream. Damn, he still had his glasses on. His dad had warned him on more than one occasion that sleeping with his glasses on was like begging for a scratched eye. He took off the spectacles and placed them carefully on his desk. The same desk the woman of his dreams leaned against, arms crossed and eyebrow arched.

If she wasn’t something his mind had conjured, he was in quite a bind. And he had to stop thinking like a wimp.
In quite a bind
. He snorted.

“Well?” she asked.

She was real. Really real and really there, and unless he found something smart to say he could lose his only chance to make her see…

“I just felt like it.” He couldn’t make her see anything. She was only there because she felt he owed her an explanation. After he satisfied her curiosity, she’d probably warn him to never bother her again and walk out of his life for good.

*

She never should have gone to him.

It was a mistake—she could see that now. First he’d completely ignored her, and now he was as cold as a popsicle.
He just felt like it
. She felt like doing many things, but had he ever seen her moon the Contemporary Lit Professor? Had he ever caught her rolling on the grass or throwing the cafeteria meatballs on the linoleum, to see if they bounced? No. She never did things just because she felt like it.

“You just felt like creeping up to me in the dark and kissing me, like…”
Like he was starving for her lips, like he needed her breath to survive, like he craved her.
“And then, in my room. You kissed me again.”

“
You
kissed
me
that time.”

Did it matter? He’d returned her kiss. He’d deepened it. She searched his eyes for the passion he’d shown her just the previous night, but saw nothing. “You ran.”

*

There was no accusation in her voice; she was just stating a fact, but it hurt him to be reminded of what a coward he’d been.

He still was one.

She was so close, he could smell her shampoo. He could just reach out, tangle his fingers in that shining mane of golden locks and seal her questioning lips with another kiss.

He knew he wouldn’t. He couldn’t risk seeing that look of disappointment in her eyes again, so he would just do what he’d been doing from the start; scare her away.

“I ran.” He nodded. “And so should you. Run along now.”

*

This Nate she saw before her was the one she was used to. He was the Nate who insulted, who made fun, who hurt her every chance he got. She knew how to deal with him much better than with the sensitive Nathaniel she’d been allowed a glimpse of.

Too bad that something inside her told her the Nate she was seeing now was nothing more than a front. Even as he’d told her to leave, his body had led him closer to her. She could see a muscle on his jaw tick and she wanted to run her thumb over it. She wanted to place her fingers on the line formed between his brows and smooth it, banish it from the perfect features it was marring.

She shook her head lightly, to clear it of the rogue thoughts, and pinned him with her gaze. “I
will
go.” She didn’t move. She’d only go if he did nothing to keep her.

*

He prayed she’d leave, because his self-restraint was wavering; if she stayed a bit more, he’d lose all semblance of control. And this time he wouldn’t stop at a kiss.

Her skin seemed so smooth. The swell of her breasts, as her arms pressed them upwards, was begging to be touched. His fingers tingled with the need to trace her collarbone, feather over every part of her, before his touches became bolder. If she didn’t go, he’d make her his.

He forced himself to move away and opened the door for her.

Arms still crossed, she walked out of his bedroom. Just past the doorway, she turned and looked at him over her shoulder. “I guess I’ll go do what
I
feel like, then.”

It sounded like a threat.

***

She was glad she hadn’t run into his father on her way out. There was no way she’d have managed to hide her frustration longer than it had taken her to leave the Briggs residence.

She hadn’t had something in mind when she’d said she’d do what she felt like. Truth be told, all she felt like was crawling into bed and sleeping for a week, but she’d promised Krista a late lunch, and it was almost time for an early dinner.

She took her cell phone out of her back pocket and punched in her best friend’s number. “Chinese or burgers?” she asked the moment Krista picked up.

“Hey, Eliza. Where are you?”

“Hey. Chinese or burgers? We’ll talk when I’m there.” The pause on the other end was long.

“Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie.” Krista didn’t sound very sorry. “Bill came by, and we’re going out to eat.”

Great. Now she
could
hide under her covers and sleep for hours—or for a week.

“Don’t worry about it. Have fun.” She hung up and started walking back to campus.

She picked up her pace when the first drop of rain fell on her nose, but it soon became apparent she wouldn’t outrun the oncoming storm. She ducked into the first fast food place she happened upon, ordered some fries, and decided to wait the rain out.

*

Jonathan had managed not to run into his son’s bedroom the moment he’d heard the front door slide shut. More than half an hour passed without Nate showing any signs of leaving his room, however, and Jonathan was no longer able to hold back.

“Care to tell me about the young lady?” He walked into his son’s room with a grin, both hands cupping the mug Nate had offered him earlier.

Nate was sitting on the floor, back against the wall, gaze unfocused and vacant.

Seeing him like that wiped the grin right out of Jonathan’s face. “Nate? What’s wrong?”

“I’m wrong, Dad. Have been for a while.” The boy’s voice was as empty as his eyes.

Jonathan sat with his son and listened to the entire story: how Nate had mingled with the wrong crowd early on; how he’d found the girl of his dreams but hadn’t been able to do something about it; how he’d driven that same girl away.

Jonathan’s heart was breaking at his only son’s sorrow. He remembered a time when he was young and in love and so completely convinced that he was beneath the woman he loved. Bless Anne’s soul for not believing that same thing and giving him nineteen beautiful years. He knew Nate deserved more than he believed he did. What was more, he was convinced Eliza knew that too.

“Nate, she came for you,” he said slowly. “She wouldn’t have come if there weren’t something there. Between you and her.”

As if he hadn’t heard him, Nate muttered, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, you can start by getting off your butt and running to her, dumbass.” Tough love was necessary some times. Jonathan held out his mug to Nate.

“I’ve fucked up. I can’t—” Nate’s eyes widened in surprise when he took a sip from the proffered drink. “This coffee is spiked, Dad.”

“You’re very observant today, huh?”