The Kissing Booth (22 page)

‘What’s that all about?’ Brad asked.

‘How should I know?’ I snapped back at him.

‘
How should I know?
’ he mimicked, and I tossed a cushion at his head in reply, trying to hear what Dad was saying. I felt sick to my stomach. What was going on?

Dad finally came back into the room, staring down at the phone in his hand.

‘Noah’s gone.’

My heart skipped a beat. ‘What do you mean, Noah’s
gone
? Gone where?’

‘He and Lee had a big argument, and June said he packed a bag and left. Didn’t tell them where he was going, or how long he planned on being gone. He won’t answer his cell phone, so Matthew’s out trying to find him now.’ Dad shook his head hopelessly.

‘Well . . . I mean . . . He – he can’t have gone too far, right?’ I stammered.

‘I don’t know. He left about twenty minutes ago.’

My stomach dropped away, like it would on a rollercoaster. I gulped. ‘Did – did June say what – what they were arguing about?’

My dad looked me in the eye before saying, ‘Brad, why don’t you go take a shower and get ready for bed?’

‘What? That’s not fair, it’s not even nine o’clock yet!’

‘Brad.’

‘Fine,’ my brother grumbled, and stomped upstairs. His bedroom door slammed behind him. My dad sighed before sitting down in the armchair, and I took that to mean I ought to sit down too.

‘Apparently,’ my dad said, clasping his hands, ‘they had a fight about you. Anything you’d like to tell me, Elle?’

I gulped, feeling sick all over again. ‘What did June say?’

‘Don’t avoid the question, young lady.’

I looked at my knees. ‘I – I’ve kind of . . . kind of been seeing Noah.’

‘What do you mean, “kind of been seeing” him?’

‘Well, we – at the kissing booth we did for the carnival, he kissed me, and then – we, um, we’ve been . . . I guess you could call it dating in secret.’

‘You’ve been dating him.’

‘Not exactly, though. It’s complicated.’

‘Better start talking, then.’

Was there any way to word this situation without disappointing my dad? I knew well enough that he didn’t exactly approve of Noah – how he got in fights, that he had a motorbike . . . It had never been a problem – until now. Because there was no way he’d be happy with me dating Noah.

‘We’ve been seeing each other in secret because I didn’t want Lee to find out. Noah and I argue all the time, and I didn’t think it would really work out between us but I wanted it to – which is why we carried on, and then Lee did find out, and now everything’s ruined and my life is over.’ I sucked in a breath when I was done.

My dad looked . . . well, I guess shell-shocked is the only word to describe the look on his face. Like he couldn’t believe the words that had just come out of my mouth. Like he didn’t want to believe it. I dropped my eyes to the floor again.

‘How long has this been going on, exactly, Rochelle?’

‘About two months. Since the carnival.’

Dad removed his glasses, pushing them onto his forehead and rubbing at his eyes like he did when he was really stressed out. ‘And all that time, you didn’t tell Lee?’

‘I thought I was protecting him,’ I explained.

Dad shook his head. ‘Funny way of doing things. But – Noah? Of all the boys out there? He’s not exactly . . . the most stable, when it comes to relationships.’

‘I know, I know, it’s not some sort of match made in heaven, or anything, but—’

‘Are you in love with him, or something?’

‘What? N-no!’ I exclaimed. ‘No, of course not!’

All my dad did was sigh again. I carried on, trying to repair at least a bit of the damage. ‘He makes me happy, Dad.’

He looked at me again, brow furrowed. ‘You sure about that, Elle?’

I nodded. ‘Yeah.’ My voice was hushed, and for some reason I found it hard to restrain a smile. Shaking my head in an attempt to clear it, I stood up. ‘So what happened with Lee and Noah? What did June say?’

‘They were eating dinner,’ my dad told me, ‘and all of a sudden Lee flipped out. Started shouting at Noah, and then they were fighting, and then Noah went upstairs, packed a bag, and stormed out.’

The phone rang again, and we both looked at it, lit up, on the coffee table. Dad answered, and I sat on tenterhooks listening to his half of the conversation. ‘Hey. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I just spoke to her about it now. What? No, no, I didn’t have any idea . . .’ He sighed again, then listened for a while.

Then he handed the phone to me. ‘She wants to talk to you.’

My hand trembled as I took the phone. ‘Hello?’

‘Oh, Elle, hi. Look, do you have any idea at all where Noah might’ve gone? He won’t answer his calls, and Matthew can’t find him, and . . . we don’t know where else to look for him.’

‘I – I’m sorry, I really have no idea.’ She began to sigh, so I added, ‘He’s impulsive, you know that. He’s probably just gone for a drive to blow off some steam. He’ll come back home, don’t worry.’

‘Well,’ she replied, her voice slightly wry, ‘I guess you know him better than any of us, don’t you, Elle?’

‘I – I don’t mean . . .’ But I couldn’t formulate a proper reply; I was lost for words.

‘It’s okay. I kind of suspected there was a girl in his life lately. He’s been acting different. I just never expected you to be that girl.’

Again, I didn’t have any reply except for, ‘Um . . .’

‘Look, just . . . if you hear from him, can you please,
please
, just let me know that he’s okay?’

‘Of course.’ Then, before she could say thank you and goodbye, I blurted out, ‘Is Lee there? Can I talk to him?’

‘I . . .’ She halted. ‘I don’t think that’s the best idea right now, Elle. I’m sorry.’

‘He doesn’t want to see me, does he?’

‘No,’ she said, somewhat reluctantly. ‘Would you mind putting your dad back on the line, please?’

‘Sure. Bye.’

‘Bye, Elle.’

I handed the phone back to my dad. The conversation didn’t last much longer; all I got from my dad’s end of the call was ‘Mm-hmm, I know, yeah . . . No, I understand . . . Yeah, of course.’

We didn’t talk much more the rest of the evening. I thought that maybe I should call Noah, in case he answered, just so I could give his mom some peace of mind. But I couldn’t even pick up my cell phone to do that.

I knew Dad was disappointed in me. It might’ve been better if he’d shouted, or shown that he was angry or upset or something –
anything
– but the muted discomfort that clung to the air around us.

It was twenty-three minutes past nine when I couldn’t stand it any longer. ‘I’m going to bed,’ I announced, standing.

Dad didn’t respond until I was almost out of the lounge. ‘I can understand that you wouldn’t tell me about it – but Lee? Elle, you’ve gotta talk to him. He’ll come around. You’ve been friends far too long to let this come between you.’

All I could do was nod. ‘I hope you’re right, Dad. I really, really hope you’re right.’

Chapter 20

I COULDN’T GET
to sleep, no matter how hard I tried; it was impossible to relax when I was worrying so much. I was worried about Noah, of course, but most of all I worried about Lee. Noah could take care of himself – he’d be alright. But Lee? He couldn’t just stick a Band-Aid on this and be all okay.

It got to midnight before my willpower ran out and I couldn’t stand it any longer. I grabbed my cell phone and speed-dialed number two.

It rang. And rang, and rang, and rang. And, when it was on the verge of going to voicemail, he picked up.

‘Shelly?’

I let out a huge gush of air; I hadn’t known I was holding my breath. ‘Lee.’

Seconds of silence passed between us, the sound of each other’s breathing the only reassurance that we were still both there. I broke first.

‘How are you?’

‘Honestly? I don’t know.’

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see. ‘I’m so sorry, Lee. I never meant for this all to happen. Not like this.’

He sighed. ‘Yeah, but you still let it happen.’

‘I know, I know. I screwed up.’

‘That’s the understatement of the century,’ he snorted, but I heard the chuckle in his voice he tried so hard to disguise as a cough. I let out a breath of laughter too.

‘I know. I’m sorry. I just . . . It seemed like the best option, not telling you. I knew it’d kill you to think I was going behind your back to hook up with your brother – it was so stupid of me . . . I kept meaning to end it, and I hated lying to you, but I didn’t end it, and I let it all carry on, and . . .’ I trailed off helplessly. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing by not telling you: it might not have worked out, and I didn’t want you to get caught up in any of it. I thought I was . . . protecting you.’

He didn’t say anything for a long while. I knew he was still there; he was breathing down the phone.

‘I’m sorry, Lee. I’m so sorry.’

It didn’t surprise me to find that my eyes were brimming with tears. I sniffed, trying not to cry. Lee would know if I was crying, even without being able to see me.

‘Do you hate me?’ I had to ask him. I couldn’t bear not knowing, especially when he wasn’t responding to me. ‘Lee?’

‘I don’t . . . hate you,’ he replied hesitantly. ‘But I sure as hell don’t like you an awful lot at this moment. I can’t believe you kept that from me all this time! And Noah too, when I thought you guys couldn’t go five seconds in the same room without arguing.’

Now I was silent. I was too afraid of making things worse.

I stifled a yawn.

‘Get some sleep, Elle,’ Lee sighed, his voice gentle, caring. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘You mean you’re still taking me to school?’

‘Of course I am. When have I ever not?’

That was when I did start crying – but these were tears of relief. I wiped the back of my hand across my cheeks. I didn’t want Lee to hear and think I was being pathetic.

‘I’ll see you in the morning,’ he repeated. ‘’Night, Elle.’

‘’Night,’ I replied. But just before he could hang up, I blurted, ‘Lee?’

‘Yeah?’

‘You know I love you, right?’

I heard the smile in his voice when he said, ‘Yeah, I know. I love you too. Although that doesn’t mean I have to like you all the time.’

I was smiling now. ‘I know.’

They say if you love something, you set it free. Well, there was no chance in hell I would’ve let my best friend free without putting up a fight.

Then we hung up. Within seconds, I was asleep.

The next morning, I stood in front of the mirror layering concealer over the bags under my eyes. I didn’t want anybody to suspect that anything was wrong; I couldn’t let it get out about Noah and me – and it wouldn’t exactly make Lee feel any better.

The giveaway noise of two short bursts of a car horn outside made me spring back from the mirror. My huge grin spread from ear to ear. I snatched up my satchel and barreled down the stairs.

‘See you later!’ I called.

‘Is Lee there?’ my dad asked.

‘Yeah. Bye!’

I slid into the passenger seat of the Mustang and threw my arms around Lee. The handbrake stuck into my stomach and I hit my elbow on the steering wheel, but I didn’t care. I still had Lee. That’s what mattered.

He chuckled, hugging me back tight. ‘Nice to see you too.’

‘I’m going to do anything to make this up to you, I swear. Honestly, I really am sorry.’

‘I know you are,’ he said. ‘And I’ll hold you to that.’

‘Anything within reason,’ I added. ‘So no lifetime supplies of milkshakes. I do have to save up for college, you know.’

He paused, hand hovering over the gear stick, and looked me in the eye. ‘Fair enough. Then how ’bout a kiss?’

I blinked. ‘Excuse me?’

‘You heard.’ There was a twinkle in his eye, but I still wasn’t entirely sure if he was joking or not.

‘Is this the part where my best friend tells me he’s madly in love with me?’ I tried to joke, laughing nervously.

Lee looked away shiftily, clearing his throat and putting the car in gear. I think my heart actually stopped.

‘Well . . .’ He cleared his throat again and shifted around in his seat, tugging at the seatbelt.

My jaw dropped for a split second before he chuckled. I gave a weak smile, laughing too now. I swatted his arm with the back of my hand and he waved me off.

‘I’m kidding,’ he laughed. ‘No way. I just couldn’t resist. Did you actually think I was serious? C’mon, Shelly, that’d just be way too weird.’

I smiled. ‘Yeah, you got that right.’

He pulled away from the sidewalk, and we sat in silence for a few seconds before I asked tentatively, ‘Have you, um . . . Have you spoken to your brother since last night?’

Lee’s hands gripped the steering wheel tighter; his knuckles turned white. ‘No,’ he told me through clenched teeth. ‘And you know what I say? Good riddance to him. If he can’t deal with the mess he’s made, then he really is just a coward. I know you’re not innocent in all of this, but he shouldn’t have treated you like that. You deserve better.’

I shook my head. I couldn’t agree with that.

‘He’s never going to change, Elle. He’s always going to be a self-centered player.’

‘You can’t honestly believe that.’ Neither of us had ever been entirely sure the whole ‘player’ thing was a hundred percent true, but here Lee was, buying into it.

Lee shrugged. ‘It’s Noah.’ As though that were answer enough to everything.

Shame it didn’t seem to feel like the right answer; the answer I wanted to solve all this.

I’d woken up unusually early that morning and hadn’t been able to go back to sleep. I was too preoccupied thinking about Noah and our relationship – whatever kind of relationship it was. I was happy with Noah, sure – but Lee was still the most important person in my life, and I couldn’t risk losing him again. And if that meant I had to sacrifice being with Noah, then I’d do it in a heartbeat.

But I didn’t know what Noah would think of all this. Did he still want to be together? Maybe this was just a short-term thing for him, something until he left for college in the fall. Something that had caused far too much hassle.

‘What?’ Lee asked.

‘Nothing. Never mind.’