The Last Goodbye (The Women of Independence) (18 page)

The gown lay there, a beautiful reminder
that nothing about this movie business was as it seemed. She looked down at the
envelope, opened it and began to read.

This isn’t goodbye,
the note
started.
I hate to miss our dinner tonight, but there’s a problem with the
film, and they’re sending the plane for me.

I’m asking you to trust me, Danielle.
Trust me when I say I’m coming back. Trust me when I say I want you to come and
visit my ranch. I should be back in a couple of days, and hopefully we’ll have
time to talk.  Gray

She stared out the window, recalling how
shattered she’d been when she learned he’d left without a word. She ran her
fingertips over his name, wondering why the note didn’t fill her with relief,
knowing he hadn’t deserted her. Oddly enough, it only served to remind her that
he was going back to a world where people wore beautiful costumes and became
someone else. She wandered over to the bed and admired the gown once more,
letting the luxurious fabric slip through her fingers.

She gave a short, dry laugh. It was
amazing at how quickly she’d been caught up in the fantasy. She looked down at
her jeans, and then raised her eyes to look at her reflection in the mirror. The
woman looking back was the real Danielle Flynn. Yes, she’d played dress-up for
a day, and it had been fun. But Green Lake Ranch was her reality; this was
where she belonged.

Spotting the garment bag hanging on the
back of the door, she snatched up the gown and managed to stuff it into the
bag, along with her foolish fantasies. She zipped it up quickly, before the
gleaming fabric could tempt her into believing that there might be happiness
beyond the confines of all that was safe and familiar... out there where people
made their living pretending to be someone else.

She grabbed the garment bag and walked
back to the trailer that housed both wardrobe and hair and makeup. Lureen
accepted it with a grin and hung it on the rack. “I thought maybe you’d want to
keep it. It looked better on you than it did on Andrea, but you didn’t hear
that from me.”

“No...” Danielle’s gaze drifted back to
the garment rack. “It was fun, but it was only make believe.”

“Honey...” Lureen wiggled her eyebrows à
la Groucho Marx. “It’s
all
make believe. Didn’t you know that?” She
laughed at her own wit and was still laughing as Danielle walked away.

* * *

The sun had slipped behind the hills by
the time Sean found Danielle in the stable. She was speaking quietly as she
groomed her horse, and for a moment, he thought she had someone with her.

“...and you looked magnificent as well,”
she murmured, wielding her curry comb, but don’t let it go to your head, okay?”
The horse flicked his ears, and she looked up.

“Oh, hello Sean. I was hoping to see
you.” She glanced outside. “What time is it?”

“Around six.” He didn’t look at his
watch. “I wanted to thank you for today. You saved us a great deal of trouble.”

“I enjoyed it; it was fun.” She stood
casually, her hand resting lightly on Fleet’s withers. “I was hoping to see
you, too. I feel badly that Jake isn’t here for your last night.” She watched
him carefully; if anyone knew the reason for Jake’s disappearance, it would be
Sean.

The Producer nodded to himself, a slight
smile on his lips. “There’s something going on in that head of his, and it’s
for damned sure we won’t find out until he’s ready to tell us.” He patted his
pocket. “I’ll give him a call tonight to say goodbye, and if he has no reception
where he is, there’ll be other days.” He handed her an envelope. “Would you
please wait ‘til we’re gone and see that Esperanza gets that? She’s taken good
care of us.”

“I will.” Danielle shoved the envelope
in her pocket. “She’ll appreciate that. I know she helps to support her family
back in Mexico.”

He nodded. “Then I’m glad we made it
generous. Are you coming to the house for drinks?”

She stuck out her hand. “I don’t think
so, Sean, but it was good to finally meet you.”

He held her hand. “The film probably
won’t be released until early next year, but you and Jake are welcome to come
to the premiere. I wish I could offer you that gown to wear, but that wouldn’t
work. After all, you were doubling Andrea.”

“I understand.” She hoped he didn’t hear
the tremor in her voice. “It was only make believe.”

He released her hand. “Goodnight,
Danielle.”

“Goodnight, Sean.” She led Fleet back to
his stall and gathered up the grooming tools.

The outside lights came on as Sean
walked away. Soon the flying insects would be battering their fragile bodies
against the light source, and then the Nighthawks would appear, swooping through
the air in their nightly feeding frenzy.

* * *

Danielle sensed Grayson’s presence just
before he appeared out of the gathering darkness. She watched him approach,
long legs closing the distance between them. He looked tired, but satisfied
with his day’s work. She drank in the sight of him, knowing it would probably
be the last time.

“Hi, there,” he said. “What did you
decide about dinner?”

“I don’t think I want to go out,
Grayson.” She reached out, and then dropped her hand, knowing she would weaken
if she touched him. “You look exhausted.”

Relief flooded his face. “I am,
actually. So we’re staying home? Good. That means we can relax while I try to convince
you to come to my ranch.”

She couldn’t meet his eyes, and started
walking back toward the house.

“Danielle? What’s the matter?” He caught
up to her.

“Grayson...” The words caught in her
throat. “...I appreciate the invitation, but we both know I don’t belong in
your world.”

He started to object and she placed a
finger against his lips.

“I realized that more than ever today
when I put on that gown. It wasn’t me.”

“Of course it isn’t. That’s make
believe.”

“Exactly.” She shook her head, searching
for the right words to make him understand. “None of it’s real. You live in a
world of make believe.” She stepped away from him and held her arms out to
encompass the valley. “This is my life. It’s where I belong. I know who I am
here, and it’s not that person I was playing today.”

“Danielle.” He stepped forward and pulled
her into his arms. She should push him away, she knew that, but it felt so
good. “I’m not asking you to change, or to become someone else. I love you
because
of who you are. I love that you’re different from the women I know in
California.”

She went completely still. “You said you
love me.”

He looked surprised, and then grinned.
“I did, didn’t I?”

She backed away. “You can’t possibly
love me. You don’t even know me.” She felt herself starting to panic. “We’ve
only known each other for a few days, and part of that time you weren’t even
here.” She was babbling, but couldn’t stop. Tears filled her eyes. “Don’t say
things you don’t mean, Grayson.”

“I’m sorry, Danielle.”

She glared at him. “Sorry for what? For
saying you love me? So now you don’t?”

“Stop it, Danielle. Don’t twist my words
around like that. It just came out, okay?” He took a few steps away, raking his
fingers through his hair in frustration. “I didn’t mean to rush you. All I want
is to give you a chance to know me, to learn to trust me, and now I’ve gone and
messed it up.”

He started to walk away and she grabbed
his hand. “I’m sorry too, Grayson.” She pulled him closer and willed him to
look into her eyes. “I’m sorry that I can’t be the person you want.” She’d
never felt so helpless in her life. “But I just can’t. You see...” she looked
away, and then forced herself to face him again. “I got caught up in the
magic... in
your
magic. It was wonderful for a while, and I almost
thought I could belong, but I don’t... I can’t. This is my life, Grayson, where
I know what to expect and who to trust.”

“Like that architect fellow who stole
your contracts?”

“Touché.” She lifted her shoulders. “I
didn’t say it was perfect.”

“So give me a try, Danielle. To use an
overworked expression, my job is what I do, not who I am.” He gestured toward
the temporary trailers; a couple of them had already been hauled away. “When
the movie’s over I go home to what’s real to me.
That’s
what I want to
show you.”

“I understand, and I’m flattered. I
really am. But you deserve someone who understands your lifestyle. Someone who
is in the industry.”

A hint of uncertainty flitted across his
face. “Don’t you think I should be the one to decide that?”

She ignored the question and gave him
what she hoped was a bright smile. “I want to thank you, though.” She seized on
the spark of interest in his eyes. “You made me stronger, Grayson. You got me
to talk about myself, about my family and everything that’s happened. I’ve come
a long way to understanding what makes me tick.”

He looked at her long and hard, and in
that moment she knew he’d finally accepted her decision. “You’ve come a long
way, that’s true, but not far enough. When you decide to take that next step,
let me know.”

For a moment, she thought he was going
to kiss her. But instead of pulling her into his arms, he gave his head a
shake, as though trying to dislodge an annoying thought. Then he turned and
walked toward the house.

He didn’t look back.

Grayson let the thrust of the
Gulfstream’s engines push him back into his seat as the now familiar landscape
streaked by outside the window. God, but he was tired; he didn’t think he’d
slept more than a couple of hours last night. His dreams had been an
emotionally charged kaleidoscope of scenes, all of which featured Danielle. On
the roof in Silverton, with flames licking up the side of the building; sitting
placidly on the bench, watching the Nighthawks catch bugs, and flying across
the meadow on a horse, her hair like spun gold.

She’d been right to question him when he
said he’d fallen in love with her. It had happened so quickly he hadn’t
recognized it himself. Love was the last thing he’d expected to find on
location; it was the last thing he wanted. But when she’d stood up to him that
first day, eyes flashing, he’d lost his heart. It was as simple as that.

He still couldn’t quite believe that
she’d turned him down. Not because of who he was, but because of who
she
was. Danielle cared about him; he was convinced about that, and yet she was allowing
her past to hold her hostage. The past was something he couldn’t change; it was
part of her life experience... what made her who she was today. He didn’t want
to take that away from her, but more than anything he wanted to be a part of
her future.

As the aircraft climbed out of the
narrow valley, he reached for the shade; some sleep on the flight south would
be a blessing. As he started to pull it down, he looked out and saw her. High
on a rocky outcropping, he saw her clearly; a small figure against the blue
sky. She held Fleet’s reins as the jet rose, gaining altitude. She lifted a
hand in farewell, and for a moment he was tempted to wave back, imagining that
she could see him through the Plexiglas.

But no. That, too, was an illusion. He
relaxed against the seat, knowing that he wouldn’t sleep, and wondering if he’d
ever see her again.

* * *

Danielle guessed at the route the
aircraft would take, and set out early, before the household was awake.
Esperanza was the only one around, and wordlessly got out her thermal cup.
Danielle nodded her thanks, poured some coffee, and headed for the stable.

She had only been at the lookout a few
minutes when she heard the roar of the engines. It was a sound she usually
loved, but not today. She held tightly to Fleet’s bridle as the sleek jet
passed, sunlight bouncing off the windows. She waved goodbye, unsure if she was
waving to Grayson, or to her foolish dreams.

She watched until the aircraft banked
slightly and disappeared from sight. Silence returned to the valley and she
inhaled deeply, taking comfort in the sweet scent of the Ponderosa Pines.

“Come on, Fleet.” She swung up into the
saddle. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

Jake left the shack early. He’d spoken
to Sean last night, apologizing for not being there to wish him goodbye.

“That’s okay, but you owe me one,” Sean
had said good-naturedly. “I’m glad we came up, Jake. They tell me the finished
product is going to be outstanding, thanks in part to the location.”

“Great.” Jake didn’t know what else to
say. He was aching to ask about Carmen, but what could he say? “Come back
soon.”

“Will do.”

And that had been it. And now he was
going back home, although it wouldn’t be the same. Funny how he’d become
accustomed to her presence in such a short time.

Now that she was gone, he permitted
himself to daydream. What would it be like to have her there every time he came
home? To have her share his bed every night... to wake up to her smile every
morning? The answer was simple: it would be heaven.