The Last Rain (13 page)

Wait—there was one other thing. The gold and silver crowns on Purim. I couldn’t resist those either.

Our First Year

17 February 1949.
Rain-sleet-hail-snow today with breaks of sun and low-hanging, carelessly spun clouds suspended against the hills like artificial cotton clouds.

The team of thirty or so Arabs who were here packing up the abandoned tobacco in the various buildings of the village, under government supervision, have finally left. A very interesting business having them here, especially for those of us who worked with them as half-guard, half-chaperon. Many of them were Christians, good workers, alert, and shrewd, and others were definitely Levantine types concerning whom we have a lot to learn.

One can see at a glance the infernal complicatedness of the Arab question, and here it is, right on our doorstep.

Dori

Here is something I don’t think Mummy and Daddy know. My brother David saved my life in Camp Bilu’im. Mummy took me to play on the beach and told me to hold on to the wall of stones if I go into the water. She told David to keep an eye on me.

There wasn’t much to do near the wall. I ducked all the way under the water and held my breath and then I came up. Then I ducked again but this time the shirt I was wearing got caught in the wall. I had a shirt on top of my bathing suit because my shoulders were sunburned.

I began to die. The shirt was stuck and I didn’t have any air left. I tried to pull the shirt but I couldn’t. I can’t even say how scared I was.

But David grabbed me and saved my life. He saw that I was stuck and he ran over and saved me. He said
why did you go underwater? Don’t go underwater again.

I told Mummy I drowned but I don’t think she heard me. I don’t even think David knows he saved my life. No one knows except me.

Odds of a Shirt Getting Caught in a Groyne

He was nearly ten, flailing pale awkward limbs.

Dori

Daddy has
Dr Seuss
! We had those three books in Canada and now here they are in Eldar.

I know all three books by heart. The one with the Cat in the Hat and the snow and the one with the Cat in the Hat and his tricks and
One Fish Two Fish
.

I love everything about those books. From beginning to end. Mummy and Daddy love them too. They laugh when we read them. They read them and I say the words at the same time and then they kiss me.

Dr Seuss has a funny name because he’s not a doctor and he’s not a horse.
⁴⁰
His name matches his books.

Our First Year

19 February 1949.
The sun has finally come; no rain, a little wind, and huge, high clouds. The waves and layers of hills stretch away in tones of pink, orange and grey. Much washing, reading, taking of walks, bundled-up against the wind, but everyone basking and blinking in the sun. Quiet communion with earth and weather.

Dori

It’s my birthday today. I’m six years old. But first there’s breakfast and lunch and naptime. I’m so excited I can’t sleep.

Finally it’s Wake-Up. Mummy does the Wake-Up. She has a garland for my hair but it turns out I don’t have a dress. Shoshana was supposed to bring me a dress from the laundry but she forgot so Mummy goes to find me one. Daddy brings a cake and candles. Mummy comes back with a pretty dress with tiny pink dots that stick out. It’s a little small on me but I don’t mind.

I light the candles with the good-luck candle. Everyone sings happy birthday. I blow out the candles and Mummy and Daddy lift my chair up six times. Mummy gives all the children a slice of cake and then they run to visit their parents.

We leave too. Mummy carries the rest of the cake to the Room so my brother David can have some too.

My birthday last year was in Camp Bilu’im. I don’t remember a thing about it.

Celebration

Dori

Shoshana says she’s going to read us a bedtime story if we’re good. We brush our teeth and pee and get into our pyjamas. Shoshana sits on a chair between the bedrooms so everyone can hear. We can’t see her but we hear her voice. I wonder why her voice is always hoarse. Most people only have a hoarse voice when they have a cold.

The story is about a girl who finds out that her Group is moving into a new Children’s House. She likes the old Children’s House so she gets some paint and paints it and then it looks like new and the children don’t have to move. I don’t know how anyone can write such a boring story.

The only good thing about the story is the girl’s name—Rakefet.
⁴¹
That’s my favourite flower and my favourite thing in the world. When I see one in a field I get full of happiness. Come to think of it, we haven’t had a Hike in a while. Just to the chicken coop and back. No one even likes the chicken coop. It’s very crowded and noisy and if you go inside with blood from a cut the chickens attack you and try to kill you.

After Shoshana leaves I feel like talking in English. Skye knows English from when she was in Boston. I say
Skye do you want to talk in English?
Skye says
yes
. I say
how are you?
She says
fine how are you?
I say
I am not happy.
Skye says
why you are not happy?
I say
because the story was not good
. Skye says
yes it was not good
. I’m getting tired of English. My brain isn’t used to it any more. I say
good-night Skye
and Skye says
goodnight Dori
.

The other children are jealous that we talked in English. I know it isn’t nice. I want to be nice all the time but I can’t.

Our First Year

8 March 1949.
Our library is now open for business in its temporary quarters in a vaulted room in the two-storey building of Eldar’s former mukhtar, or village chief. It’s already one of the most popular spots in the kibbutz.

Dori

It’s really quiet tonight. Really really quiet. I don’t feel good. There’s a song about this feeling—

In the dark a lone cat howls

Midnight trees softly shake

A fog drifts in from the sea

Only Anokhi is still awake

It’s a lonely song with a lonely tune. In the black art book there’s a man who reminds me of Anokhi.
⁴²
He’s walking in a swamp with a walking stick and holding his coat shut and there’s a mysterious light behind him. When when when is Mummy or Daddy coming to kiss me goodnight?

Here she is here she is! I feel bad for the other children. They probably feel sick too but in their case they have to go on feeling sick until they fall asleep.

Mummy says
I’m so tired sweetie I’m falling asleep on my feet so just a quick kiss tonight.
She kisses me and says
Dori are you sure you still need these goodnight visits now that you’re such a big girl?
I get very scared when she says that. I shout
yes yes I still need them
and she says
don’t worry—no one is going to tell me what to do.
I knew she wouldn’t stop. Not until I say.

I don’t ask for a rhyme but she tells me one anyhow. She chooses the shortest rhyme she knows—

Up and down

Left and right

I like to fly my kite

It’s a baby rhyme but who cares. At least she came. I feel better now.

Our First Year

13 March 1949.
The bus made its first run to Haifa today! Historic local passengers were Isaac, Naftali, Amos and Dafna. It was the driver’s first day on the line (Luigi is still in Haifa arranging for his busman’s test) so naturally he spent most of the time watching the passing scenery rather than the road.

Today is Trumpeldor Day. There was a dramatization in the Dining Hall and then we marched to the top of Al-Tawil, the hill that lies to the west and from which one can see the lights both of Safed and Haifa. Full moon with a crisp wind a-blowing, so we could hardly wait to light our bonfire at the prescribed time, when fires were to blaze up in all the settlements of the countryside. Then a few selections from our pocket-sized choir, valiantly rendered, and a few words on the significance of the occasion by Martin.

When we got home we discovered that our tender—which is the name for any small pick-up truck in this country—had arrived from Galron, where it had been in repair for two months. Painted a brilliant green, and hunched up on its hind wheels and ready to roll. So our motor fleet has been doubled.

Dori

I’m on my way to Lulu’s birthday party. Suddenly a boy from an older Group comes over and asks me if I want to see a shelter.

I say
yes
. I’m always interested in seeing new things. He goes down a metal ladder. I go down after him but

I stay on the ladder because I don’t like it down here.

He says
do you want to do sex
?

I’m free but I don’t like this boy. I run up the ladder

and all the way to the Room. Now I’m crying. Daddy asks
what is it
? but I don’t know why I’m crying.

Daddy says
I have a new book for you doda
. He shows me the book. It’s called
Alice in Wonderland
and it’s big and white like
Pinnochio
. I love the picture on the cover—a blonde girl in a red dress sitting in a field of flowers and looking at a rabbit. The rabbit is holding a clock and running.

I sit on Daddy’s lap and he reads to me. This is the best book I’ve ever read in my entire life.

Thy Neck with Chains of Gold