The Last Rain (26 page)

I stood on a chair to sing it. For some reason everyone laughed. I don’t know why. It’s a sad song—a very sad song. It made me think of Eldar. I was young and gay there and I had friends in the fields and on the cots. I wasn’t forced to go to that horrible kindergarten.

After Gone Are the Days I sang We’ll Fly Away. When I said the word Fly I jumped off the chair as if I was flying to Neverland. Come to think of it my brother David used to call me Tinkerbell.

Neverland

Dori

Hannah got a present in the mail. It’s a doll that stands with a dress made of three layers of sponge—pink and pale yellow and pale green. They’re not Pioneer colours and it’s not a Pioneer doll. In Eldar we don’t have that kind of doll. The kind that’s more for decorating than for playing with.

Hannah put the doll on the table next to her bed and she won’t let anyone touch it. She put it there to show us that she has it and we don’t. She could have kept it in her father’s Room.

She keeps saying
this is mine don’t touch it.
She wants us to be jealous.

I might bury this doll too.
⁶⁴

Thy Neck with Chains of Gold

Dori

Mummy tells me we’ll be leaving Eldar in a few days. We’re going back to Canada. We’re going by airplane this time. On an airplane when you touch your earlobe it buzzes.

I say
for how long?
and she says
I don’t know exactly.

I hope it’s not a long time. I love Eldar.

Diary of a Young Man

20 September 1924.
I spent a few weeks away from the commune, travelling through the country. I’d woken one morning and felt that a “bad mood” had come over me. I felt I had to get away for a while and see the rest of the country.

I didn’t say anything to anyone, I didn’t even inform the roster managers. I knew they’d understand that I left on account of my bad mood; they too experience these things from time to time.

On that day, the number of bad-mood travellers reached eight.

Dori

I’m seven today. I have a birthday party but mostly we run around. It’s my first birthday without a dress.
⁶⁵

Gilead gives me a white belt folded into a circle. It’s patent leather. Now I have something to put in my drawer.

My brother David has a Tin Tin book. I love Tin Tin. David looks at it with me and tells me the story. I don’t really understand the story and I can’t think of any other story to go with the pictures but I don’t care. With colours like these the story isn’t important.

Our First Year

13 January 1950.
Tremendous preparations now under way for the celebration of Year One at Eldar. Most of us agree that it’s been a good year. It didn’t go precisely according to plan, we didn’t realize everything we wanted, but never mind, there’s another year ahead. We look forward to expansion in almost every field. Here are some of the important provisions in the coming year’s plan:

•   In future years, when we’ve solved the water problem, we’ll try producing fruit here that cannot be grown in any other part of the country. We will continue to tend the hundreds of dunam of olive and fig orchards, plus the 30 or so dunam of workable Arab grapevines.

•   Whereas this past year we succeeded in planting only 30 dunam of vegetable crops, in the coming year we will aim for 200 dunam.

•   We will put in 300 dunam of silage and pasture.

•   We have completed a small but highly satisfactory greenhouse, and we plan to expand our modestly constituted landscaping and vegetable nurseries.

•   As compared with last year’s planting of 10,000 trees (mainly pine) we expect to plant 20,000 in the coming year.

•   The 30 head of cattle will be housed in a brand new barn before the end of the year, and we expect the herd to grow considerably. We will also build a two-storey chicken house to take care of 4,000 laying birds.

•   Our twenty-five thousand lira building budget calls for, in addition to the barn and chicken house, a permanent housing unit for members, a children’s house, a laundry and a garage.

•   We are prepared to do contracting work for the installation of electrical network in neighboring settlements. Our carpentry shop, because of its excellent machinery—including a joiner-planer, shaper-borer and table saw unit, band saw, radial saw, press, plus many handy smaller tools and gadgets picked up in the States—will enable us to do considerable outside work.

•   Our shoe repair shop, located in a cozy corner at the rear of the village, now includes sewing machines, a cutter and a skiver, and a burnishing rod, and although we now do all our repair work and turn out home-made sandals, in the coming year we also expect to begin making our own shoes.

•   And by no means must we fail to mention that we expect to be receiving a D-8 tractor with bulldozer.

So, in the coming years, we shall keep building. More than anything else, we want new comrades on other high and windy hills in the New-Old land of Israel; and from among all the newcomers who make up this 20th-century Return, we shall greet more warmly than all the rest those who come from our native land, those to whom we dedicate this record of our first year, the pioneers of America.

Dori

Mummy takes me to an office in Akko. It’s not as much fun as our last trip. As soon as she’s finished she says we have to go back because she has to pack. There’s just enough time to buy me a lemon Artik. It drips on everything and Mummy gets into a bad mood cleaning up the mess.

While I was gone everyone learned how to fold their hands so that the finger on top goes in one direction and the finger on the bottom goes in another direction and it looks like one long finger. They won’t tell me how to do it because I was away.

I ask my brother David and he shows me the trick. Then we play cat’s cradle with string. My brother is very good at cat’s cradle.

Then he shows me how it’s better when you hold a kaleidoscope up to the light. It really is magnificent how the shapes move and change like snowflakes. David says that no two snowflakes are alike. I wonder how so many shapes can exist because millions of snowflakes have been falling for millions of years.

My brother kisses me and kisses me. He’s a good brother.

Alphabetical History of the Conflict in the North District (1948)

abandon abortive accept accessible account accuse actions advance advancing affiliations aged agreed aide-de-camp al-Bi‘na al-Malikiya al-Mawasi allow Alma Amir ancestors announce apologised appointed Arab Arab Affairs Committee argued arm armed armoured arms army army-age Arraba assault asses assist astonishment atoned atrocities atrocity attacks attempt attitude attorney general August authorities avoiding Avraham aware away Ayelet B-17s babies back Bar’am barbaric barred Baruch basis Battalion battle Be’eri Bedouin behest believed belongings Ben-Gurion benign Benjamin Bir‘im birth bizarrely blacken blame Bleida bodies body bombing bombs bones border border-clearing borders born boy bread Brigade Brigade’s brigades broadcasts brother brushfire budge bureaucratic buried bursts C-47s camp campaign camps Captain capture captured car Carmel caught causes caves cease censorial central CGS chains character charged charges charging chasing child children Christian churches Circassian circumstances civilians classified clear clerics climbed clutching collected Colonel columns command commander committed committees company complaints concentration conformed confusion conquered conquerors conquest conquests conscience-stricken constant contained contingent convents converted conveyed cooperative corps corpses corresponded costs couched Council countless country course covered credence criticism crossed crowded cruel cursorily curtailed Dakotas danger dared Dawayima deal decided declining defence defended Deir-Hanna Deir-al-Qasi Deishum deliberately demanded demanding demented demographic demolished denial departure depended depopulated depopulation deposited depositions designated destroy details detention determined diary died different difficult discovered discretion discriminating discuss distancing distinction District divide documentation documents donkeys doubt doubtless down dozen dress driven dropped drove Druze dug duly dumped Dunkelman East echelon Eilabun embarrassed embellished Emmanuel emptied empty encamped encountered encouraged end ended ends enemy enhance entry escape escaped establish estimated ethnic euphemistic everything evicting eviction exaggeration example except exile exiles exist existence existing exodus expel expelled expelling explained expressions expulsion expulsions external eye fact facts failing fall far Farradiya Fassuta fate father feared fearing felt fielding fight file Filles de la Charité de la Sacré Coeur find findings fingernails fire fired flat fled fleeing flight follow-up food force forced forces Foreign Affairs Ministry fought found four-year-old framework freeze Friedman friendly front frontier frustrated future Galilee Galilee’s general Gershon Gil‘ad girl goal going Golani gone govern government gradually grief ground ground-support group grow guard guidelines guilty gullies Haganah Haifa Haim half-Muslim hand handful Hanochi hard Harkabi harm’s harmed Hashahar Hayun head headless heard held hills hinterland Hiram history holding hollow home homes hospitalised hostile hours houses HQ Hule humane Hurfeish hurt husband IDF’s ignored immigrants implemented impression improve inaccurate inadequacy indiscriminately infiltration inhabitants inhabited initial inland input inquiry inside instinctive instructed instructions Intelligence intensive intercession interim interior intermittent internal international investigate investigated investigating investigation Iqrit Israel Israel’s Israeli Isser issued Jann jeeps Jewish Jews Jishwas job joined June Jurdiye just Justice Ministry Kafr-Qila Kafr-Manda Kafr-Bir’im Kaukab keep Khirbet Kibbutz kicked killed killing killings kilometres kitchen knew knows Komarov lack laid land lands Laskov last launched leave leaving Lebanese left legaresh lending Les Dames de Nazareth less letter liaison Lieutenant life limb limited line liquidated list living local locals loot looting lost Lt Lubya Maghar main maintained maintenance Majd-al-Kurum Major majority males maltreatment man Mano Mansura Maronite Marriott mass massacre massacres matter means meeting Meirun members memory men mendacious Mi‘ilya middle might migrated military Minority Affairs Ministry minorities misdeeds missions mixed moderation months morale morning Moroccan Moshe mosque mother motion moved movement mukhtars mules municipality murder murdered Muslim Muslim–Christian Muslims Nahum naked names necessity needless negligence neighbouring nervous never new newly news night Ninth none non-imperative non-local non-locals northeastward Northern northwards November nowhere number object observer observers occupied occupy October Oded offensive officer officers official sold olive open Operation operational opinion opposite orchards order ordered organised original other others outcome Outpost outside overrun own owners Palestinian Palmah palpably Panhandle panic parcel part partial partition party passed passing past path paths patrol pattern patterns peaceful peasants people perhaps Perlman permanent permission persisted personnel perspective petty piled Pina planned pleaded politicians population possessions possibility POWs preceded precipitate precipitated presumably prevented prisoners probable probably probe Problem prohibitions promote property prospect prospective protected providing punishment Qaddita Qantara Qawuqji qualified quarters questioned questioning quickly quietly radio raids Rama Ras-al-Ahmar recalled recommended recorded records refugee refugees refused rejected religious religious-ethnic remain remained remaining remnant removed repeatedly report reprimanded request reserve resistance resisted respond response responsible rest result retribution return returned returning revenge Cambridge right Rihaniya risk Rmaich road roadside robbery rocky Rosh roughly round rubble rule rumours sadness Safad Safsaf Sakhnin Saliha Sammu’i Sa’sa Sauda save saw scattered scope score scouring scraping search secure Security Segal senior September sergeant served Service Service\Field settled settlement Seventh severe severely Shapira Shertok Shimshon shipped Shitrit shock shooting short shot show sideways sieve silence simply site situation size sketchy slated slowly smiling soil soldier soldiers soon sorted south-eastern southward specifically sped spotted spring squad squadron squads stand start State stay stayed stiff still stones stopped stranded strict string strip Studies submit submitted sufficient Suhmata superfluous support supported surrender surrendered surrendering surrounding survival survivors sweeps Syrian systematic Taflas taken taking Tarbikha Tarshiha tea team Teitaba temporarily tents terms territory tested thinking throw thrust tilted time tired tons torched training transfer transferred transmission transport treat tree trek triggered troops two-week-old UN uncharacteristically unclear undefinitive underlines undermined unfolded uniform unimportant uninvestigated unit units unjustified unpunished up uprooted upshot urge vagaries vanished veered vent veteran viewed Vilensky village village’s villagers villages visible volunteers Wa‘ra wadi wake walk walking war warning was waves welfare wells west westward what when whole wholly whose why widespread wife within without woman women wrangle wrath wrote Ya’akov Yadin Yalan Yanuh year years Yehoshafat you