The Last Woman (All That Remains #1) (26 page)

“I’m sorry I ever let Mandy
anywhere near you. I hope you’re at peace now,” Airen voices huskily.

Joseph takes Walker’s hand.
“We’ll miss you, honey. You’ll always be in our hearts, and we’ll cherish the
time we had with you.”

“I’m sorry we had such little
time to get to know each other,” Julie says. “Rest in peace, dear.”

“You should take the kids back
while we fill it in,” murmurs Joseph.

I nod and accompany them back
to the house. I can’t imagine how hard it will be for them to cover her with
dirt and leave her there. The thought haunts me until I decide to go back.

“Julie, will you keep an eye
on the kids for me? I want to go check on them.”

“Sure, take your time.”

I’ve never walked this path
alone, and it’s a little creepy given the circumstances. Another death. There
has been so much death. We’re immersed in it. When will it end? It seems like
we move from one tragedy to the next, always trying to cope. I know plenty of
good things have happened to us, but it’s hard to stay positive when everything
can fall apart in an instant. We’re constantly teetering on the brink and
holding our breath, hoping for the best.

They’re shifting the last few
shovelfuls of earth when I reach the clearing. They both have their shirts off,
sweat running in rivulets down their backs.

Joseph tosses the last load
and pats it down with the back of the shovel. “I’m going to the stream. My
hands are bleeding,” he mumbles and walks away.

Airen hasn’t noticed me yet.
He sits down heavily at the edge of the grave and moans, “I’m sorry. I’m so
sorry. I should’ve killed her right away. You would still be here, not paying for
my mistake.” I swallow hard. He’s blaming himself. “You shouldn’t have had to
shoot her. You sure as hell didn’t have to shoot yourself!” he shouts. He runs
his hands through his hair and wipes his eyes, hanging his head.

“Air.” His head jerks up in
alarm. “Everyone is fine,” I assure him, holding up my hands. When I sit beside
him, he rests his head on my shoulder. “I thought you might need me.”

“I do.”

We remain by her grave,
silent, until Joseph returns. “It’s getting dark. We should go home,” he
suggests.

“It seems wrong to leave her
here alone,” Airen laments.

“I know, but we aren’t, Air. She’s
gone,” I whisper, embracing him.

He stands up, and we all start
down the trail towards home. It’s dark when we finally arrive.

Walker comes tearing out the
front door as we approach and looks around. “You left Sara in the woods?” he
accuses. The look of dismay on Joseph’s face tears at my heart. Walker doesn’t
understand.

“May I?” I ask.

“We’ll be inside,” Joseph
replies miserably.

“Sit with me, sweetie.” I pat
the step beside me, and Walker takes a seat. “Daddy told you what happened to
Sara, didn’t he?”

“Mandy shot her so she has to go
to an afterlife, but you said she was at our picnic spot.” His little face is
pinched up in confusion.

“Everyone has different ideas
of what happens to us when we die. Would you like to know where I think Sara is
now?” I brush his hair from his forehead, and he nods, staring up at me with
those pale green eyes, so like Joseph’s. “Look around you. Do you see how
beautiful everything is? The trees, the grass, and the flowers? I think Sara is
a part of everything now.”

“How?” he squeaks.

“Do you know what you’re made
of?”

“Um...skin? Blood and guts?”
he replies uncertainly.

“And what are they made of?”
He puzzles over it for a moment and shrugs. “We’re all made of tiny little
things called atoms. All of the trees, dirt, everything you see around you and
things you can’t see as well, like the air that you’re breathing, are all made
up of atoms.”

“So Sara is made of atoms
too?”

“Yes. Look up at all those
amazing stars in the sky. They’re made from the same tiny little miracles we’re
made of. You’re made of the same thing as those stars. We’re all stardust.” I
smile at him.

Wonder softens his face as he
gazes at the night sky. “I’m made of stardust,” he whispers with a small smile.

“When we die, our bodies turn
back into stardust, so that we’re a part of everything, forever, but we can’t
come back to our bodies anymore, Walker. Sara can’t come back. Do you
understand?”

“She can’t come back to her
body. She has to be a part of the stars.” He sniffs and stares at his feet.

“It’s okay to be sad and to
miss her, sweetie. We all do, but she isn’t alone or afraid.”

“She’s a star.”

“Whenever you feel sad you can
look at the stars and know she’s there, even if you can’t see her.”

“Mason too? And Daddy Tim?”

“Everyone, baby.”

“Stardust.” He smiles up at me.

“Stardust.” I hug him.

Joseph and Airen are sitting
on the porch when I follow Walker inside. He runs past them. “I’m going to
watch cartoons!”

Joseph and Airen stare at me. “Now
who’s eavesdropping?” I mumble. They continue to watch me, closely. “Joseph,
I’m sorry if that wasn’t what you had in mind. I don’t believe in the whole
heaven and hell story, and I didn’t think that would help.”

“Abby.” He chokes up. “That
was beautiful. Is that really what you believe?”

“I believe in science, and
what can be shown to be true through evidence or proof. That was a simplified
version.”

Joseph hugs me. “It was a
wonderful way to explain it to him. Thank you.”

Abraham

It’s time to test them, Lord.
I’ve prayed for hours, and I can’t find a less deplorable way to go about it.
Diane and Jennifer will have to sacrifice their modesty for a short while. I’ve
decided to use the cane on them if they aren’t successful in proving their
heterosexuality. Micah may pass, but Troy is the one I intend to watch.

Micah continues to be a thorn
in my side. I’ve made him hold a stack of bricks for twenty-four hours. I
forced him and Troy to stand with their arms bound above their heads for two
days with no food and water so they could watch the other suffer. I left him
overnight in the unheated shed wearing only a short sleeve shirt and shorts.

Still, he doesn’t bow. I
regret to say he may not make it, though I will try to do my best. Perhaps he
is un-teachable. Troy is compliant and obedient, although a bit mouthy. He’d be
a much better candidate if he wasn’t a deviant. Like those people who prefer
sex with children, homosexuals are so hard to change. Your will be done, Lord,
either way. Your will be done.

Troy

Cole informs me it’s the
second day of March when I persist in asking him how long we have been here. If
he isn’t lying just to screw with me, and that’s a definite possibility being
the prick he is, then we’ve been locked up for an entire month. More than
enough time to realize how truly insane these people are and come to the
devastating conclusion we’ll most likely die here.

Our bodies have healed from
the rock salt incident, although our knees bear the scars. I’ve been lucky that
Abraham has ignored me for the most part. I assume it’s because he considers me
to be the obedient one. He has included me in some of Micah’s punishments to
try to get him to acquiesce, but he has no idea the extent of Mic’s
stubbornness. I hate every second of this, but I can’t forget the pain of the
rock salt or the two days without water, and I don’t want to die. It seems like
a smart choice to play along until we can escape.

Micah disagrees. He fights
them every step of the way while they dream up new methods to punish him. I’ve
tried to talk sense to him and make him realize he can’t beat them, but he’s
incredibly stubborn.

“They aren’t going to control
me,” he snaps, as I plead for the hundredth time for him to kneel when I hear
them unchaining the doors. They come every day with our lessons. Bible quotes
we’re forced to memorize and recite, what would you do scenarios to test our
values, and, of course, prayers. It appears they have something different in
mind for us today.

“It’s time for a test,”
Abraham announces. I control the urge to inform him my algebra and grammar are
sub-par. Apparently, my smart mouth can be controlled by torture.

“What bullshit are you
planning now?” Micah demands. He stands, arms crossed, glaring at Abraham while
Jennifer and I kneel silently.

“I think you may enjoy this,
Micah, if my instincts are correct. I’m afraid Troy may find it unpleasant, but
I’m cautiously optimistic.”

Oh shit. What is he going to
do to me now?

“Leave him alone, you fucking
lunatic.”

“Mic, please don’t. He’ll kill
you,” I whisper.

“It’s God’s will, Micah, and
someday you’ll understand.”

“Do you realize you’re
completely batshit? I mean really? I’ve always wondered if crazy people
recognize they’re crazy.”

“Take him to the house,”
Abraham commands.

Micah is dragged off by Cole
and Steve, still cursing. The last thing I hear is an accusation of what they
do to each other during bible study.

“You may both rise,” Abraham
allows.

This man is arrogance
personified. I could suffocate in the waves of narcissism rolling off of his
oily, smiling face. “Jennifer, I’ve been very pleased with your progress, and I’m
offering you a chance to prove your dedication to God by helping me to test
Troy’s sexuality.”

What! Jennifer’s eyes widen,
and she pales as she whispers, “How?”

“Don’t fear, my child. Sex
before marriage is a sin, and I’d not ask that of you. The Lord only requires
you become slightly intimate, so we can assess Troy’s reaction,” he explains
with a creepy smile.

He can’t be serious. I glance
at Jennifer’s pink face. “Don’t worry, I’m not doing this,” I swear to her.

“You will obey. I’ll see you’re
both whipped if either of you refuse.”

“What do I have to do?” she
whispers, defeated.

“Remove your clothes, down to
your undergarments. You may do whatever is necessary to encourage Troy to
become aroused. You may use one of the stalls. I’ll be waiting out here to bear
witness to the outcome.”

“You want to see me get a hard
on, and I’m the homosexual?”

“One has to perform unpleasant
and distasteful acts for the Lord when he’s called upon to do so.”

Jennifer grasps my hand and
forces a smile. “It’s okay, Troy. I don’t mind.”

“I’m so sorry,” I murmur,
after we are alone in the horse stall.

“It’s not your fault. I can’t
bear to be whipped. We have to do as he says.” We turn our backs to each other
and undress, throwing our clothes out as instructed. I haven’t kissed a girl
since the eighth grade, and I knew then that it wasn’t for me.

We lie in the hay and kiss
tentatively. Increasing the intensity, we wrap ourselves around each other. She’s
touching me everywhere, trying her best to get a reaction out of me, but all I
can think about is how wrong this is, and what an asshole I am to do this to
her. After twenty minutes or so, Abraham knocks on the stall door.

“That will be enough,
Jennifer.”

“I’m sorry,” she sobs.

“Hey, this isn’t your fault. I
don’t think anyone in this situation could...” I trail off. She nods as we get
dressed.

“Remain where you are, Troy.
Jennifer, well done my dear, you may leave us and resume your lessons.” It’s
obvious I’ve failed his little test. “Troy, are you ready to confess that you’re
a sodomite?” he asks sharply.

I’ve been called plenty of gay
slurs in my life, but that’s a new one. “No, I’m not gay. Do you think you
could get excited over a girl who’s forced to be with you while a guy waits to
stare at your junk?” I demand, glaring at him.

His face remains impassive. “I
have another test in mind for you.” He produces a portable DVD player and
gestures for me to sit.

“Got a copy of Spartacus?” I
ask wryly.

He chuckles. “You’re close.”
It’s porn...man on man porn.

It’s my turn to laugh. “I
suppose the point this time is to refrain from enjoying it?”

“Correct. I’ll be checking on
you periodically, and I’d better see your eyes on that screen or you and Jennifer
will suffer the consequences.”

I watch the screen, and the
guys are gifted, I’ll give them that. Does he really think being imprisoned,
threatened, and forced to watch porn is going to get me horny? After a few
minutes, he peeks over the door, and I wave at him. “Limp as a noodle, no
worries,” I chirp.

This is so humiliating. I have
to joke and make light of it, or I’m going to break. Damn, what will he do if I
fail this test? I can only imagine the horror he’s dreamed up this time, or
maybe he’ll just murder me outright.