The Last Woman (All That Remains #1) (30 page)

“I’m sorry. Trust me when I
tell you I know how it feels to be judged and to have people look down on you. I
know how hard it is to have parents who hate you or just don’t give a shit, and
what it’s like to be on your own as a teenager. I’m sorry for what they did to
you. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met. Thank you for telling me,” I
whisper.

My eyes close as his long
fingers run through my hair. “Will you tell me your story sometime?”

“Yes, what has Airen told
you?”

“He said you had a traumatic
childhood, and you’ve dated too many assholes who have destroyed your
self-esteem. Also, you may be the only woman in the world who doesn’t want to
hear she’s pretty.”

“That just about covers it, I
suppose.”

Pinching my chin, he tilts my
head back until we’re eye to eye. “Why Abby?”

“Because it’s not true, and I
don’t
want to talk about that tonight, okay?” I plead, yawning.

“I think you’re lovely, Abby.
Inside and out.”

“Please…don’t.”

“Alright, we don’t have to
talk about it right now, honey. We should try to sleep.”

The rain has let up, and it’s
finally quiet. The fire has burned out and left us in the dark, but I feel safe
with Joseph’s arms around me, and I’m content as I drift off to sleep. A soft
kiss on my lips, so soft I may have dreamed it, draws a satisfied hum from my
throat.

It’s too bright. While my eyes
struggle to adjust to the sunlight, I try to remember where I am. I’m still
curled up with Joseph, our arms around each other, my head on his shoulder. When
I rub the sleep out of my eyes, and my vision clears, Airen is standing over
us, smirking.

“You two are so busted,” he
gloats. Oh Hell. Is he going to be upset? “I can’t let you out of my sight for
a minute.” He nudges Joseph awake with his foot. “You’re wrapped around my
girl.” Arms crossed, he shakes his head in disapproval.

Joseph wakes and stares up at
him, unfazed. “You could’ve warned me that she snores.”

“I do not!” I insist, sitting
up and brushing hay from my hair. At least he’s not mad.

“And what do you have to say
for yourself, young lady?” Airen teases, getting way too much enjoyment from
this.

I smile up at him, still sitting
in the hay. “Well, you got to make out with him, and I got to cuddle with him
so I think we’re even.” Joseph laughs out loud while Airen helps me off the
pile of hay. “What time is it?” I ask.

“Around six,” Airen replies.

“Did you go to bed at all?”

“I tried, but it was so empty.
My girl was shacked up with my best friend all night.”

“We were not shacked up!”

“Looked pretty cozy to me,” he
drawls.

“It was.” Joseph sighs,
dramatically.

“You aren’t helping,” I inform
him.

“I’m not trying to.”

He grins up at me, all dirty and
covered in hay and dust. I must look a mess as well.

“Relax, Abby. I’m just teasing
you. You know I wasn’t worried,” Airen says.

Joseph rolls his eyes. “Says
the man who got up at five a.m. and hiked three miles to check on us.”

“In my defense, she did ask me
what it was like to kiss you—and I quote—on your thick, full lips.” He chuckles
when I gape at him, and Joseph beams from ear to ear. Bastards.

“Airen!” I snap, tempted to
crawl under the hay and hide. My cheek burns as Joseph kisses it.

“Anytime you want to find out,
baby,” he chirps.

“
Now
we’re even,” Airen
whispers with an evil little grin, and I try to avoid looking at them.

“Let’s go. I’m hungry,” Joseph
remarks, and leads the way out of the barn.

Abraham

I can still hear him screaming
and begging for mercy. The whack of the cane and the blood that bloomed in a
line across his naked skin was more satisfying than I’d anticipated. Our pound
of flesh, Lord. He’ll wear my artwork until the day he dies.

A blond head peeks in my door.
“Abraham, is this a bad time?” Eric asks.

“It’s a fine time, Brother
Eric. Please have a seat.”

“Thank you. I just need a
minute. It’s about Troy.” Hmm, he appears nervous and jumpy. It’s obvious that
he fears me, but I don’t believe he reveres me as the others do.

“Are you questioning my
decision to punish the sodomite?” I inquire, impassively.

“No! Of course not!” Paling,
he fidgets with his collar. “I only wondered if you intend for him to die of
his wounds.” He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, swallowing audibly.

“No, Eric, I don’t. My
intention is to save him and show him the error of his ways before it’s too
late.”

His face relaxes in relief,
and he absently swipes the hair out of his eyes. His voice is scarcely above a
whisper. “May I suggest having the doc take a look at him? If the wounds become
infected, he may not survive long enough for you to get through to him.” He
glances at me apprehensively, awaiting my reaction.

“Well, we can’t have that. Ask
Dr. Mike to examine him, but he’s not to be given any form of pain reliever. He’s
meant to suffer for his disgusting sins.”

“Of course.” Eric rises
quickly. “Thank you.”

“Brother Eric?” He turns and
tries to hide his dismayed expression. He can’t get away from me fast enough. “The
Lord’s work is not always pleasant, but we must persevere. Do not waste your
pity and compassion on this abomination. Do not let him bring you down with
him,” I warn.

“A-Abraham,” he stammers. “I-I
didn’t mean to offend you.”

“And you haven’t. Still, I
need to be confident that you’re loyal, both to God and to me.”

“I am! I swear my loyalty to
both.”

“Then all is well. Are you
aware of what the bible says about homosexuality, Eric?”

“It’s a sin.”

“Leviticus 20:13, ‘If a man
also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an
abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.’
While I am optimistic that God brought Troy to us to be saved, we will deliver
the Lord’s justice if we find he’s beyond our help. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Abraham.”

“Since you’re so concerned
with his welfare, the final act shall fall to you, should he prove to be beyond
redemption. I think stoning him would be a fitting way to accomplish the deed. Don’t
you agree?”

“Whatever you think is best,”
he whispers, horrified.

“God will let me know when the
time comes. You may go now.”

“Have a good day, Abraham.”

“And you. Oh, Eric?” He turns
back, warily. “You should spend more time in bible study.”

“Yes, I will,” he promises and
practically runs from the room.

Perhaps I accepted Eric too
quickly when we met. It seems he may require some time to reflect and study—in
the stable.

Troy

My back has healed, though it
was more than a week before I could wear a shirt or pants again. They left us
well enough alone and allowed Micah to treat my wounds and take care of me. Though
he still refuses to kneel, he’s stopped cursing them now that we’ve seen what
they’re capable of doing to us.

Jennifer is now Sister
Jennifer, and lives in the house with them. I don’t fault her for it. She’s
just a different type of prisoner. Our days are humdrum and routine. Get up,
eat, wash, read. They have started allowing us to walk around the property,
escorted by Cole and Steve.

Of course, we spend a lot of
time just talking. The time is endless, and Micah and I know one another’s
lives inside and out.

“You’re different,” Micah
mutters, as we lounge on the bean bag chairs.

“So are you. You don’t fight
them anymore.”

“It was stupid.”

“Mmm,” I hum noncommittally.

“But you never joke anymore,
never try to give me any shit.”

“You worried that they broke
me?”

He shrugs. “I hope that’s not
the case.”

“Aw, I didn’t know you cared,”
I reply, trying to sound lighthearted.

“Shut up.” He glances at me,
and it’s apparent something is on his mind. “What they did to you…I should have
stopped them. I could hear you screaming.” His voice cracks.

“Stop. You’d have been tied up
alongside me. It’s not your fault. That was the only smart thing you’ve done
this year. They would’ve killed you.”

He shakes his head. He’s really
upset. I realize he isn’t exactly the hugging type, but I give him a quick
squeeze anyway. “Let it go,” I advise. “I’m fine.”

Before he can answer, the
doors open and Abraham strolls in. “Still showing homosexual tendencies, I
see.” He’s followed by Steve, and they’re both armed. “I suppose you require a
little wooden reminder.”

My entire body trembles as he
grasps my arm. I can’t take that again. “No, please. It was just a hug. I
didn’t do anything!”

Steve blocks Micah from
intervening, and he looks as devastated as I feel. “Leave him alone! I hugged
him! It should be me!” he yells. Abraham ignores him as he escorts me outside.
My insides have turned to water, and my leaden legs will barely support my
weight.

Suddenly, I hear shouting followed
by a gunshot. Oh fuck. Micah! Abraham raises his gun and calls out to Steve,
but it’s Micah who rounds the corner with the rifle. Before he can fire, he’s
tackled by Cole. Where the fuck did he come from? After slamming Micah’s head
into the ground repeatedly, Cole wrenches the gun from him and pulls him to his
knees. Abraham looks inside the stable.

“He killed Steve,” he
announces. He circles Micah while he kneels in the gravel, blood pouring from
his head and nose. “Well, you’re kneeling now, aren’t you, murderer?”

“You’re next,” Micah pants.

“Mic,” I plead.

“We were never going to
survive these fucked-up lunatics, Troy,” he says with regret.

He’s right. Sooner or later,
they’re going to kill us.

“Enough!” Abraham shouts,
raising his gun. It happens so fast. Abraham fires the gun into the back of
Micah’s head, and he falls to the ground.

“No!” I scream. The world
wavers in and out of existence, and the ground rushes to meet me as my knees
give way.

“Throw the body in the woods
and take Troy back to the stable. There will be no more deviant behavior from
him,” Abraham’s voice booms.

“No! Kill me! Please, Abraham!
Kill me and be done with it!” I beg.

“Don’t be silly, God hasn’t
finished with you yet.”

It’s nearly lunch time when
Airen asks me to take a ride with him. “Where are we going?”

“I want to show you
something.” His eyes are twinkling with mischief. What is he up to now?

“Okay.” We drive for about ten
minutes before he turns onto a small gravel road, overgrown with weeds.

“Look to the right when we
come over the hill.” He’s fidgeting with excitement like a little boy. It’s too
cute for words. We make a slight turn and my breath catches. Sunflowers. They’re
my absolute favorite flowers, and he’s brought me to a field overflowing with
them.

“Airen, it’s beautiful,” I whisper,
admiring the shifting canvas of yellows, browns, and greens.

“I thought you might like it.”
I detect an undercurrent of nerves in his sweet smile. “Come with me,
sweetheart.” Hand in hand we walk into the sea of sunflowers, stopping in a
small clearing where a blanket and a bottle of wine await us.

“What is all this?” I exclaim
in surprise. When I turn to face him, he’s on his knee, his ebony eyes fixed
intently on mine. My heart drops into my feet, pinning me in place, as his name
leaves my lips on a stunned gasp.

“Abigail, I love you with
every inch of my heart. I want us to spend the rest of our lives together.” He
produces a silver ring, and my tears overflow as I recognize it. I had
commented on a set of rings once that when worn together create a figure eight,
the sign of infinity. He remembered. “Will you wear this ring? Will you be my
wife?”

His eyes never leave mine. My
God, look at him! He’s breathtaking, kneeling among the sunflowers. Sunlight
falls on his face, illuminating his beauty. He’s a god, a fantasy realized,
he’s absolutely perfect, and he wants me.

“Yes,” I sob.

He slips the ring onto my
finger. “Forever,” he whispers.

I drop to my knees and grasp
his hair as I pull his lips to mine. He moans and crushes me against his chest
while I try to pour all of the love and desire I feel for this man into a long,
scorching kiss. He’s my whole world. My happily ever after I thought was
unattainable. I’m deliriously happy and absolutely terrified. This beautiful
man has possessed me in a way I never thought possible. My heart is his to
cherish or destroy.

“I love you so much, Airen.
It’s almost more than I can bear, but I can’t help it.”

“I don’t want you to help it.
I know you’re scared, darlin’. You aren’t the only one. I’ve never felt this
way about anyone.” His palms cup my face, his eyes bottomless pools of anguish
as they stare into mine. “You could shatter me, Abby.”

God, I’m drowning in a
turbulent sea of emotion. He loves me. He’s afraid of losing me. Silently, I
pull his shirt over his head and unbutton his jeans. “Here?” he asks.

“Yes, I need you.”

Before I can breathe, I’m
swept into his arms and lowered to the blanket. “I’m here, sweetheart.”

We make love in an endless
field of sunflowers, permeated in their fragrance and serenaded by the melody
of songbirds. Sunshine warms our bare bodies as a light breeze cools and
caresses. It’s the sweetest experience I have ever known.

As we lie together in the
afterglow, he places his hand beside mine to show he’s wearing an identical
ring. Both are shaped like the letter S. “I have the mates to them. When we
have our wedding ceremony and I place the second ring on your finger, the
symbol will be complete, and you’ll be mine for infinity.”

“I’m already yours. I’ve been
yours since your eyes met mine in that dark department store. He smiles when I
bring his hand to my mouth and kiss his ring. “Forever,” I promise.

* * *
*

Everyone seems to be happy
about our engagement, though not particularly surprised. I must have been the
only one who didn’t see it coming. Jayla is especially ecstatic.

“We have to find you a dress!
Oh, what color will you wear?” she gushes, and I laugh at her exuberance.

“We don’t even know when we’ll
have the ceremony yet, honey. I promise you can help me with it.”

“How are you going to get
married without a minister?” Carson asks. “How could it be legal?”

“I was legally ordained,”
Joseph volunteers.

“Really?” Jayla asks.

“Well, over the internet.” He
shrugs and grins at me.

“I’d love for you to preside
over the ceremony, Joseph. There isn’t a legal or illegal marriage anymore
anyway. Since we aren’t religious, we can just swear our love to one another,”
I suggest, glancing to see what Airen thinks of the idea.

“That’s perfect.” He kisses my
cheek.

“You can write your own vows!”
Jayla exclaims.

The fearful look on Airen’s
face makes me chuckle softly. “We’ll see,” I reply.

We have harvested and
preserved all of our fruits and vegetables. The freezer is packed with meat,
and I feel pretty optimistic about the upcoming winter. The solar power has
been a godsend. We can run the furnace so there is no longer a need for
generators or electric heaters. Our small herd of goats furnish us with milk. Condensed
and powdered milk just isn’t the same. We keep chickens to supply eggs and the
occasional fried chicken dinner, and Airen’s fishing obsession means we’re
never without a refrigerator full of fresh fish. We’re so much better off than
last year.

Though we’re busy, Airen and I
manage to sneak away to our summer home occasionally. “Mmm,” I hum, as I roll
over and pull the sheet up to my chin. Airen flashes me a little half grin, and
I watch his boxer briefs slide over those tan, muscular thighs as he dresses. I
know I’m blatantly ogling him, but I can’t help myself. He’s spectacular.

“What?” He smirks, as if he’s
never met a mirror.

“You’re gorgeous.”

“There’s no need for flattery,
darlin’. If you want more, all you have to do is ask.”

God, he’s arrogant. “Like I’d
have to ask.” I can feel his eyes on me when I rise and stroll to the bathroom,
naked.

“You have such a great ass,”
he says in a husky voice, grabbing me and pressing me against his body. His
hands travel up and down my hips. The corners of his mouth turn down, and his
eyes flit up to meet mine. “You’ve lost weight.”

I grin, taking it as a
compliment. “Thank You.”

“Are you trying to get
thinner? You really don’t need to, sweetheart. I love your body. Every inch of
it,” he growls, his eyes sweeping over me from head to toe.

“I’ve just been busy, I
suppose. Picking, canning—you know.”

“You need to take care of
yourself too,” he lectures.

I agree, and he drops the
subject. A sudden crack of thunder urges us to get moving, and we dress quickly,
making it home just as the clouds burst.

The truth is I just haven’t
been able to eat much the past few weeks. I don’t really know what’s wrong, but
since I don’t feel sick, I’m not going to make an issue out of it. I’m happy to
lose a few pounds. Unfortunately, Airen hasn’t forgotten. He’s paying too much
attention to me at meal times, and I can see his disapproval when I stop eating
after half a dozen bites. He walks into the bathroom and frowns at me when I
step out of the shower.

“Abby!” he exclaims, his lips
pressed together and his brow furrowed.

“What?”

“You have to start eating!
I’ll bet you’ve lost ten pounds.”

A smile stretches across my
face when I study my reflection in the mirror. “You don’t like it?” I ask,
smoothing my hands over my flat belly.

He sighs. “I love you no
matter how you look, sweetheart, but I don’t want you to starve yourself.”

“I’m not. I just haven’t had
an appetite.”

Instantly troubled by my
response, he goes into hovering grandmother mode, pressing the back of his hand
against my forehead and asking, “Are you sick? Is your stomach bothering you?”

“No.”

“I want you to talk to Julie,”
he insists.

“Air, I said I’m fine.”

“So, if I go make you a snack,
you’ll eat it?” he presses stubbornly.

I hesitate, knowing I can’t
right now. “I’m not hungry.”

He shakes his head, his dark
eyes flashing in anger as he stalks from the room. Damn, what’s up his ass?
Most men like their women thin. Besides, I’ve only dropped from a size ten
jeans to a size eight, so I’m not exactly skinny. When he returns a few minutes
later with Julie in tow, I sigh, exasperated with his overprotective
tendencies. “Seriously, Airen?”

“Let us talk privately,” Julie
insists. He doesn’t like it, but he acquiesces, shutting the door behind him.

“I’m sorry he bothered you,
Julie. I’m fine.”

She smiles and nods. “Well,
humor me then. It’s been a long time since I had a patient. How much weight
have you lost?”

“About ten pounds,” I
reluctantly admit.

“Are you trying to lose
weight? Dieting? Getting more exercise?”

I shake my head. “I just can’t
eat.”

“Does food make you nauseous?”

“No, I just feel full, like
I’ll gag if I take another bite.”

“Has anything else changed?
Bowel habits? Insomnia? Excessive sweating?”

I shake my head again.

“Are your period’s regular?”

“I only have a few per year
because of my birth control pills, and I’m not due to start until next month.”

“Let’s do a pregnancy test.”

“I’m on the pill,” I repeat,
frowning.

“They could be expired, or
perhaps you missed one. Have you taken any other medications lately?”

“Just ten days of Penicillin.”
Her sharp glance sends a ball of ice rolling down my spine. “What? I had an
ingrown hair that became infected, and the penicillin knocked it right out.”

“Antibiotics can interfere
with birth control, Abby, and make it less effective.”

I shake my head stubbornly.
“I’m not pregnant.”

“Well, I’m sure you can spare
a little urine to set my mind at ease,” she replies.

“Fine,” I relent. I grasp her
hand as she heads toward the supply closet. “Don’t let Airen see.” There’s no
reason to scare the shit out of him for nothing.

“Doctor patient confidentiality,”
she assures me. She returns with an EPT test, and I reluctantly take it to the
bathroom. We have to wait a few minutes for the results.

“When this is negative, what
then?” I ask.

“We’ll keep track of your
weight and see if you keep losing. It could be hyperthyroidism or just a
stubborn stomach virus. There’s no need to worry right now.”

“Tell that to Mr.
Overprotective out there,” I mumble. The timer beeps, and Julie collects the
EPT stick.

“Abby,” she whispers, taking a
seat next to me. She holds the stick where I can see the tiny blue plus sign
that seals my fate. “You’re pregnant, dear.”

No. Oh, fuck no. This can’t be
happening. “It’s a false positive. Let’s take another one.”

After repeating the process,
Julie places her hand on my arm. “Abby,” she says softly. I shake my head. “You
are pregnant.”

“Don’t tell Airen,” I plead.

“I’m not going to tell anyone
anything. You still have choices, dear. I can give you a pill to end the
pregnancy if that’s what you want, but there can be complications. If that’s
your decision, then it needs to be made sooner rather than later. If you decide
to bring the baby to term, I’m confident I can deliver the child. It won’t be
my first,” she says with a reassuring smile.

It’s hard to hear her over the
buzzing in my ears. Pregnant. I’m pregnant. “I can’t breathe. Julie, I can’t
breathe. My chest hurts,” I whisper. I feel like I’m dying, maybe that would be
for the best. I can’t tell Airen I’m pregnant. “Am I having a heart attack?” I
pant, fighting for air.

“No, Abby. Listen to me.
Listen to my voice. You’re okay. You can breathe. You’re just having a panic
attack. Breathe with me, dear. Everything will be okay.”

My breathing slows, and I get
control. “That’s never happened before.”

“You’re overwhelmed. It’s not
the end of the world, although I know it feels that way now. This is your
choice to make, and you need time to think about it. If you want to terminate,
then the decision whether or not to tell Airen is yours. You need to take a
little time to get past the shock so you don’t act impulsively.”

I take a deep breath. “What
should I tell Airen now? He’s worried that I’m sick.”

“I’ll tell him it’s just a
stomach bug and to give it a week to run its course. Unless you want to discuss
it with him now, and let him make the decision with you.”

“I can’t,” I whisper. I’ll
lose him, just like Jon. All I can see is the look on Jon’s face when I told
him I was pregnant with Carson. The hate that glowed in his eyes. If Airen
looks at me that way, I’ll die a thousand deaths.