The Laughing Corpse (4 page)

“You think so?” he asked.

“Did any of the neighbors hear anything?” I asked.

“No one will admit to it,” he said.

I nodded. “Glass breaks, someone comes to check it out, probably the man. Some sexist stereotypes die hard.”

“What do you mean?” Dolph asked.

“The brave hunter protecting his family,” I said.

“Okay, say it was the man, what next?”

“Man comes in, sees whatever crashed through the window, yells for his wife. Probably tells her to get out. Take the kid and run.”

“Why not call the police?” he asked.

“I didn't see a phone in the master bedroom.” I nodded towards the phone on the kitchen wall. “This is probably the only phone. You have to get past the bogeyman to reach the phone.”

“Go on.”

I glanced behind me into the living room. The sheet-covered couch was just visible. “The thing, whatever it was, took out the man. Quick, disabled him, knocked him out, but didn't kill him.”

“Why not kill?”

“Don't test me, Dolph. There isn't enough blood in the kitchen. He was eaten in the bedroom. Whatever did it wouldn't have dragged a dead man off to the bedroom. It chased the man into the bedroom and killed him there.”

“Not bad, want to take a shot at the living room next?”

Not really, but I didn't say it out loud. There was more left of the woman. Her upper body was almost intact. Paper bags enveloped her hands. We had samples of something under her fingernails. I hoped it helped. Her wide brown eyes stared up at the ceiling. The pajama top clung wetly to where her waist used to be. I swallowed hard and used my index finger and thumb to raise the pajama top.

Her spine glistened in the hard sunshine, wet and white and dangling, like a cord that had been ripped out of its socket.

Okay. “Something tore her apart, just like the . . . man in the bedroom.”

“How do you know it's a man?”

“Unless they had company, it has to be the man. They didn't have a visitor, did they?”

Dolph shook his head. “Not as far as we know.”

“Then it has to be the man. Because she still has all her ribs, and both arms.” I tried to swallow the anger in my voice. It wasn't Dolph's fault. “I'm not one of your cops. I wish you'd stop asking me questions that you already have the answers to.”

He nodded. “Fair enough. Sometimes I forget you're not one of the boys.”

“Thank you for that.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, and I even know you mean it as a compliment, but can we finish discussing this outside, please?”

“Sure.” He slipped off his bloody gloves and put them in a garbage sack that was sitting open in the kitchen. I did the same.

The heat fastened round me like melting plastic, but it felt good, clean somehow. I breathed in great lungfuls of hot, sweating air. Ah, summer.

“I was right though, it wasn't human?” he asked.

There were two uniformed police officers keeping the crowd off the lawn and in the street. Children, parents, kids on bikes. It looked like a freaking circus.

“No, it wasn't human. There was no blood on the glass that it came through.”

“I noticed. What's the significance?”

“Most dead don't bleed, except for vampires.”

“Most?”

“Freshly dead zombies can bleed, but vampires bleed almost like a person.”

“You don't think it was a vampire then?”

“If it was, then it ate human flesh. Vampires can't digest solid food.”

“Ghoul?”

“Too far from a cemetery, and there'd be more destruction of the house. Ghouls would tear up furniture like wild animals.”

“Zombie?”

I shook my head. “I honestly don't know. There are such things as flesh-eating zombies. They're rare, but it happens.”

“You told me that there have been three reported cases. Each time the zombies stay human longer and don't rot.”

I smiled. “Good memory. That's right. Flesh-eating zombies don't rot, as long as you feed them. Or at least don't rot as quickly.”

“Are they violent?”

“Not so far,” I said.

“Are zombies violent?” Dolph asked.

“Only if told to be.”

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“You can order a zombie to kill people if you're powerful enough.”

“A zombie as a murder weapon?”

I nodded. “Something like that, yes.”

“Who could do something like that?”

“I'm not sure that's what happened here,” I said.

“I know. But who could do it?”

“Well, hell, I could, but I wouldn't. And nobody I know that could do it would do it.”

“Let us decide that,” he said. He had gotten his little notebook out.

“You really want me to give you names of friends so you can ask them if they happened to have raised a zombie and sent it to kill these people?”

“Please.”

I sighed. “I don't believe this. All right, me, Manny Rodriguez, Peter Burke, and . . .” I stopped words already forming a third name.

“What is it?”

“Nothing. I just remembered that I've got Burke's funeral to go to this week. He's dead so I don't think he's a suspect.”

Dolph was looking at me hard, suspicion plain on his face. “You sure this is all the names you want to give me?”

“If I think of anyone else, I'll let you know,” I said. I was at my wide-eyed most sincere. See, nothing up my sleeve.

“You do that, Anita.”

“Sure thing.”

He smiled and shook his head. “Who are you protecting?”

“Me,” I said. He looked puzzled. “Let's just say I don't want to get someone mad at me.”

“Who?”

I looked up into the clear August sky. “You think we'll get rain?”

“Dammit, Anita, I need your help.”

“I've given you my help,” I said.

“The name.”

“Not yet. I'll check it out, and if it looks suspicious, I promise to share it with you.”

“Well, isn't that just generous of you?” A flush was creeping up his neck. I had never seen Dolph angry before. I feared I was about to.

“The first death was a homeless man. We thought he'd passed out from liquor and ghouls got him. We found him right next to a cemetery. Open and shut, right?” His voice was rising just a bit with each word.

“Next we find this couple, teenagers caught necking in the boy's car. Dead, still not too far from the cemetery. We called in an exterminator and a priest. Case closed.” He lowered his voice, but it was like he had swallowed the yelling. His voice was strained and almost touchable with its anger.

“Now this. It's the same beastie, whatever the hell it is. But we are miles from the nearest frigging cemetery. It isn't a ghoul, and maybe if I had called you in with the first or even the second case, this wouldn't have happened. But I figure I'm getting good at this supernatural crap. I've had some experience now, but it isn't enough. It isn't nearly enough.” His big hands were crushing his notebook.

“That's the longest speech I've ever heard you make,” I said.

He half laughed. “I need the name, Anita.”

“Dominga Salvador. She's the voodoo priest for the entire Midwest. But if you send police down there she won't talk to you. None of them will.”

“But they'll talk to you?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Okay, but I better hear something from you by tomorrow.”

“I don't know if I can set up a meeting that soon.”

“Either you do it, or I do it,” he said.

“Okay, okay, I'll do it, somehow.”

“Thanks, Anita. At least now we have someplace to start.”

“It might not be a zombie at all, Dolph. I'm just guessing.”

“What else could it be?”

“Well, if there had been blood on the glass, I'd say maybe a lycanthrope.”

“Oh, great, just what I need—a rampaging shapeshifter.”

“But there was no blood on the glass.”

“So probably some kind of undead,” he said.

“Exactly.”

“You talk to this Dominga Salvador and give me a report ASAP.”

“Aye, aye, Sergeant.”

He made a face at me and walked back inside the house. Better him than me. All I had to do was go home, change clothes, and prepare to raise the dead. At full dark tonight I had three clients lined up or would that be lying down?

Ellen Grisholm's therapist thought it would be therapeutic for Ellen to confront her child-molesting father. The trouble was the father had been dead for several months. So I was going to raise Mr. Grisholm from the dead and let his daughter tell him what a son of a bitch he was. The therapist said it would be cleansing. I guess if you have a doctorate, you're allowed to say things like that.

The other two raisings were more usual; a contested will, and a prosecution's star witness that had had the bad taste to have a heart attack before testifying in court. They still weren't sure if the testimony of a zombie was admissible in court, but they were desperate enough to try, and to pay for the privilege.

I stood there in the greenish-brown grass. Glad to see the family hadn't been addicted to sprinklers. A waste of water. Maybe they had even recycled their pop cans, newspapers. Maybe they had been decent earth-loving citizens. Maybe not.

One of the uniforms lifted the yellow Do-Not-Cross tape and let me
out. I ignored all the staring people and got in my car. It was a late-model Nova. I could have afforded something better but why bother? It ran.

The steering wheel was too hot to touch. I turned on the air-conditioning and let the car cool down. What I had told Dolph about Dominga Salvador had been true. She wouldn't talk to the police, but that hadn't been the reason I tried to keep her name out of it.

If the police came knocking on Señora Dominga's door, she'd want to know who sent them. And she'd find out. The Señora was the most powerful vaudun priest I knew of. Raising a murderous zombie was just one of many things she could do, if she wanted to.

Frankly, there were things worse than zombies that could come crawling through your window some dark night. I knew as little about that side of the business as I could get away with. The Señora had invented most of it.

No, I did not want Dominga Salvador angry with me. So it looked like I was going to have to talk with her tomorrow. It was sort of like getting an appointment to see the godfather of voodoo. Or in this case the godmother. The trouble was this godmother was unhappy with me. Dominga had sent me invitations to her home. To her ceremonies. I had politely declined. I think my being a Christian disappointed her. So I had managed to avoid a face to face, until now.

I was going to ask the most powerful vaudun priest in the United States, maybe in all of North America, if she just happened to raise a zombie. And if that zombie just happened to be going around killing people, on her orders? Was I crazy? Maybe. It looked like tomorrow was going to be another busy day.

T
HE ALARM SCREAMED
. I rolled over swatting at the buttons on top of the digital clock. Surely to God, I'd hit the snooze button soon. I finally had to prop myself up on one elbow and actually open my eyes. I turned off the alarm and stared at the glowing numbers. 6:00
A
.
M
. Shit. I'd only gotten home at three.

Why had I set the alarm for six? I couldn't remember. I am not at my best after only three hours of sleep. I lay back down in the still warm nest of sheets. My eyes were fluttering shut when I remembered. Dominga Salvador.

She had agreed to meet me at 7:00
A
.
M
. today. Talk about a breakfast meeting. I struggled out of the sheet, and just sat on the side of the bed for a minute. The apartment was absolutely still. The only sound was the hush-hush of the air-conditioning. Quiet as a funeral.

I got up then, thoughts of blood-coated teddy bears dancing in my head.

Fifteen minutes later I was dressed. I always showered after coming in from work no matter how late it was. I couldn't stand the thought of going to bed between nice clean sheets smeared with dried chicken blood. Sometimes it's goat blood, but more often chicken.

I had compromised on the outfit, caught between showing respect and not melting in the heat. It would have been easy if I hadn't planned
to carry a gun with me. Call me paranoid, but I don't leave home without it.

The acid washed jeans, jogging socks, and Nikes were easy. An Uncle Mike's inter-pants holster complete with a Firestar 9mm completed the outfit. The Firestar was my backup piece to the Browning Hi-Power. The Browning was far too bulky to put down an inter-pants holster, but the Firestar fit nicely.

Now all I needed was a shirt that would hide the gun, but leave it accessible to grab and shoot. This was harder than it sounded. I finally settled on a short, almost middrift top that just barely fell over my waistband. I turned in front of the mirror.

The gun was invisible as long as I didn't forget and raise my arms too high. The top, unfortunately, was a pale, pale pink. What had possessed me to buy this top, I really didn't remember. Maybe it had been a gift? I hoped so. The thought that I had actually spent money on anything pink was more than I could bear.

I hadn't opened the drapes at all yet. The entire apartment was in twilight. I had special-ordered very heavy drapes. I rarely saw sunlight, and I didn't miss it much. I turned on the light over my fish tank. The angelfish rose towards the top, mouths moving in slow-motion begging.

Fish are my idea of pets. You don't walk them, pick up after them, or have to housebreak them. Clean the tank occasionally, feed them, and they don't give a damn how many hours of overtime you work.

The smell of strong brewed coffee wafted through the apartment from my Mr. Coffee. I sat at my little two-seater kitchen table sipping hot, black Colombian vintage. Beans fresh from my freezer, ground on the spot. There was no other way to drink coffee. Though in a pinch I'll take it just about any way I can get it.

The doorbell chimed. I jumped, spilling coffee onto the table. Nervous? Me? I left my Firestar on the kitchen table instead of taking it to the door with me. See, I'm not paranoid. Just very, very careful.

I checked the peephole and opened the door. Manny Rodriguez stood in the doorway. He's about two inches taller than I am. His coal-black hair is streaked with grey and white. Thick waves of it frame his thin face and black mustache. He's fifty-two, and with one exception, I would
still rather have him backing me in a dangerous situation than anyone else I know.

We shook hands, we always do that. His grip was firm and dry. He grinned at me, flashing very white teeth in his brown face. “I smell coffee.”

I grinned back. “You know it's all I have for breakfast.” He walked in, and I locked the door behind him, habit.

“Rosita thinks you don't take care of yourself.” He dropped into a near-perfect imitation of his wife's scolding voice, a much thicker Mexican accent than his own. “She doesn't eat right, so thin. Poor Anita, no husband, not even a boyfriend.” He grinned.

“Rosita sounds like my stepmother. Judith is sick with worry that I'll be an old maid.”

“You're what, twenty-four?”

“Mm-uh.”

He just shook his head. “Sometimes I do not understand women.”

It was my turn to grin. “What am I, chopped liver?”

“Anita, you know I didn't mean . . .”

“I know, I'm one of the boys. I understand.”

“You are better than any of the boys at work.”

“Sit down. Let me pour coffee in your mouth before your foot fits in again.”

“You are being difficult. You know what I meant.” He stared at me out of his solid brown eyes, face very serious.

I smiled. “Yeah, I know what you meant.”

I picked one of the dozen or so mugs from my kitchen cabinet. My favorite mugs dangled from a mug-tree on the countertop.

Manny sat down, sipping coffee, glancing at his cup. It was red with black letters that said, “I'm a coldhearted bitch but I'm good at it.” He laughed coffee up his nose.

I sipped my own coffee from a mug decorated with fluffy baby penguins. I'd never admit it, but it is my favorite mug.

“Why don't you bring your penguin mug to work?” he asked.

Bert's latest brainstorm was that we all use personalized coffee cups at work. He thought it would add a homey note to the office. I had
brought in a grey on grey cup that said, “It's a dirty job and I get to do it.” Bert had made me take it home.

“I enjoy yanking Bert's chain.”

“So you're going to keep bringing in unacceptable cups.”

I smiled. “Mm-uh.”

He just shook his head.

“I really appreciate you coming to see Dominga with me.”

He shrugged. “I couldn't let you go see the devil woman alone, could I?”

I frowned at the nickname, or was it an insult? “That's what your wife calls Dominga, not what I call her.”

He glanced down at the gun still lying on the tabletop. “But you'll take a gun with you, just in case.”

I looked at him over the top of my cup. “Just in case.”

“If it comes to shooting our way out, Anita, it will be too late. She has bodyguards all over the place.”

“I don't plan to shoot anybody. We are just going to ask a few questions. That's all.”

He smirked. “
Por favor
, Señora Salvador, did you raise a killer zombie recently?”

“Knock it off, Manny. I know it's awkward.”

“Awkward?” He shook his head. “Awkward, she says. If you piss off Dominga Salvador, it's a hell of a lot more than just awkward.”

“You don't have to come.”

“You called me for backup.” He smiled that brilliant teeth-flashing smile that lit up his entire face. “You didn't call Charles or Jamison. You called me, and, Anita, that is the best compliment you could give an old man.”

“You're not an old man.” And I meant it.

“That is not what my wife keeps telling me. Rosita has forbidden me to go vampire hunting with you, but she can't curtail my zombie-related activities, not yet anyway.”

The surprise must have shone on my face, because he said, “I know she talked to you two years back, when I was in the hospital.”

“You almost died,” I said.

“And you had how many broken bones?”

“Rosita made a reasonable request, Manny. You have four children to think of.”

“And I'm too old to be slaying vampires.” His voice held irony, and almost bitterness.

“You'll never be too old,” I said.

“A nice thought.” He drained his coffee mug. “We better go. Don't want to keep the Señora waiting.”

“God forbid,” I said.

“Amen,” he said.

I stared at him as he rinsed his mug out in the sink. “Do you know something you're not telling me?”

“No,” he said.

I rinsed my own cup, still staring at him. I could feel a suspicious frown between my eyes. “Manny?”

“Honest Mexican, I don't know nuthin'.”

“Then what's wrong?”

“You know I was vaudun before Rosita converted me to pure Christianity.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Dominga Salvador was not just my priestess. She was my lover.”

I stared at him for a few heartbeats. “You're kidding?”

His face was very serious as he said, “I wouldn't joke about something like that.”

I shrugged. People's choices of lovers never failed to amaze me. “That's why you could get me a meeting with her on such short notice.”

He nodded.

“Why didn't you tell me before?”

“Because you might have tried to sneak over there without me.”

“Would that have been so bad?”

He just stared at me, brown eyes very serious. “Maybe.”

I got my gun from the table and fitted it to the inter-pants holster. Eight bullets. The Browning could hold fourteen. But let's get real; if I needed more than eight bullets, I was dead. And so was Manny.

“Shit,” I whispered.

“What?”

“I feel like I'm going to visit the bogeyman.”

Manny made a back and forth motion with his head. “Not a bad analogy.”

Great, just freaking, bloody great. Why was I doing this? The image of Benjamin Reynolds's blood-coated teddy bear flashed into my mind. All right, I knew why I was doing it. If there was even a remote chance that the boy could still be alive, I'd go into hell itself—if I stood a chance of coming back out. I didn't mention this out loud. I did not want to know if hell was a good analogy, too.