The Learning Curve (33 page)

Nicky stared.

‘Retiring,’ continued Miss James. ‘Yes, I am . . . retiring.’

Nicky’s blood came back, agog. Meanwhile, her mind went on a little journey. She had no idea Miss James was of retirement age. She’d always imagined she was in her fifties. Blimey. The woman looked fantastic for her age. Hardly any lines round her eyes at all. Her skin was absolutely amazing. And her figure was still good too. But then she hadn’t had any children, had she?

‘You’re very quiet,’ said Miss James.

‘Oh, I was just thinking . . .’

‘Ah! Were you? Were you, indeed. Good girl. And
what
were you thinking?’

‘Um, well, I was actually thinking how good you looked for sixty.’

Miss James roared her approval. She leant forward and whispered, ‘Clarins.’

‘Wow,’ Nicky whispered back.

Miss James snapped back into work mode.

‘Now,’ she said, ‘this, of course, leaves a little opening, does it not?’

Nicky’s ears whistled again.

‘Have you, my dear, ever considered being a headmistress?’

Oh, only every time I look at you, thought Nicky.

‘We-ell,’ she said slowly, ‘it’s something I definitely aspire to, yes.’

‘Good
girl
,’ accentuated Miss James. ‘Good girl, good girl, good girl, good
girl
.’

Nicky decided now was not the time to question the use of the word ‘girl’ for a woman of thirty who was the Deputy Headmistress of a school. Did Miss James ever call Rob a ‘good boy’? she wondered.

‘The reason I ask, my dear, is because I would very much like you . . .’ Nicky’s ears started to whistle an almost distinct tune, ‘to apply . . . for my job.’

‘Gosh,’ whispered Nicky. ‘Gosh.’

Miss James smiled beneficently at her.

‘Thank you so much,’ breathed Nicky suddenly. ‘I’m honoured.’

‘You are most,
most
welcome,’ said Miss James. ‘But,’ she almost shouted, ‘this is not a decision to be taken lightly. The
job would mean, of course, far less contact with the children (unless you wanted to be a teaching head, but I don’t recommend it), a nice little pay increase and possibly,’ she smiled, ‘some more headache pills.’

Nicky laughed heartily.

‘There is of course
considerably
more administrative work –’

‘Of course.’

‘– you would be constantly walking the tightrope between keeping the governors, the bursar, all your staff and your pupils happy.’

‘Of course.’

‘And, let us not forget, not all good teachers make good heads,’ continued Miss James. ‘The two are very different jobs. Hardly any crossover at all, in fact.’

Nicky was beginning to wonder why she was here.

‘But,’ concluded Miss James, ‘there are exceptions.’

Nicky smiled.

‘Now,’ said Miss James, ‘it just so happens that I have also asked Mr Pattison to apply.’

‘Oh, obviously.’

‘He happened to pop into school a couple of weeks ago during the holidays to do some preparation work and I was here doing one thing or another. I decided to use the opportunity to have a word with him about it. So he already knows. And of course, he also knows you will be going for the job too. And you’ll be thrilled to know he’s as delighted for you as he is for himself!’

Nicky smiled wanly.

‘I trust that will not be a problem for you,’ said Miss James.

‘Oh no, no, of course not,’ said Nicky, smiling properly.

‘After all, you are both professionals.’

‘Absolutely.’

‘But I am aware that you’re both friends too. Would that I could insist they create two Headship posts!’ She laughed heartily and Nicky joined in. ‘But alas, they can’t.’ Miss James stopped laughing abruptly and so did Nicky. ‘And so I find myself in the awkward position of having to tell my two best candidates to apply for the same post.’

‘Thank you.’

Miss James leant in. ‘I made him promise faithfully to me that he wouldn’t mention any of this to you until I had had a chance to speak to you properly.’ She waggled her finger at Nicky. ‘So you must forgive him for keeping a secret from you!’

‘Of course.’

‘Now, naturally, you know the legal situation. I have no choice but to advertise this vacancy nationally.’

‘Of course.’

‘And confer with all my wonderful governors.’

‘Right.’ There was a pause. ‘Well,’ Nicky laughed, ‘I won’t get too excited, then.’

Miss James banged her desk. Papers flew. ‘Oh! You must get
very
excited,’ she ordered. ‘Very excited indeed!’

‘Right.’ Nicky smiled. ‘OK.’ Miss James stared at her, nodding regularly. ‘I am . . . very excited indeed,’ offered Nicky.

‘Good!
Life . . .
is exciting,’ trilled Miss James, practically vibrating with the excitement of it all.

It occurred to Nicky to look for hidden cameras. It would explain a lot. She nodded and gave her boss a respectful smile.

‘Now,’ continued Miss James. ‘Technically, the job isn’t going to be available until the end of the summer. And it’s only going to be made public knowledge to the rest of the school in the spring. Of course, Janet knows, but she is my right arm; my appendage; my other limb. And of course, our new wonderful bursar is, as they say in the classics, “in the know”. But none – no, not one – of your fellow teachers knows. So! You have three months to think long and hard about whether or not you want to go for this. And yes, during those three months, it will become my task to observe you – and Mr Pattison – with an even keener eye than of yore, but it is always kindly, my dear, it is always kindly. And then, of course, should you decide to apply, the very process of doing so will mean more work, facing some rather stressful interviews, and directly competing with at least one of your colleagues. Obviously, others may apply. So I have chosen to give you – and Mr Pattison – a long time to really think this through. Think of what you want from your life. This is a big step. You want it to be one in the right direction.’

Nicky nodded, utterly focussed and completely confused.

Miss James stood up and extended her hand across the mound of papers on her desk. Nicky rose and shook it.

‘Good luck,’ whispered Miss James, shaking her head in nostalgic wonder. Nicky wondered if perhaps she was waiting for her to kneel and offer the top of her head to be kissed. She gave what she hoped was a professional yet polite, confident yet not cocky, assured yet warm, firm yet friendly handshake. Then she waited for her hand to be released and left the room on only slightly trembling legs.

She didn’t cry this time. She wanted this job. She went to the toilets just to look at herself in the mirror. Did she look
different? Did it show? Thank God she had never taken things further with Rob. And that they had got over their hiccup like adults. She smiled at her reflection. She was ‘gonna whip his ass’. She returned to the staffroom, trying to look as calm as possible. When she was nearly at the door, she was stopped in her tracks by a noise behind her.

‘PSSST!’

She froze.

‘OY!’ An excited whisper from behind her shook the corridor. ‘NICKY!’

Slowly she turned round to face Rob, who, from the expression on his face, had just been in to see Miss James and now knew that she knew. He ran down the corridor, ending in a skid at her side. He was grinning widely until he saw her face.

‘Hello!’ he said. ‘Someone died?’

‘How appropriate do you think it is to call me that in the corridor?’ she asked. ‘Especially the corridor outside Miss James’s office?’

‘Oh, yeah, sorry,’ he said. ‘Didn’t think.’

‘Well, Didn’t Think was made to think.’ She started walking.

‘How?’ He followed.

‘Dead arm.’ She opened the door. Amanda looked over and gave her an unmistakable scowl. Then she looked away and ignored them.

Nicky turned away from Rob to join Ally, who immediately turned her back on Pete.

‘Morning!’ greeted Ally. ‘God, you look like shit.’

‘Thanks,’ said Nicky.

Pete turned to look at her. ‘What happened?’ he asked.
‘Don’t tell me you accidentally hugged a child? That’s ten years, eight with good behaviour.’

‘Nothing happened!’ she retorted. ‘Can’t a person just look like shit occasionally?’

‘Of course,’ said Ally. ‘Pete does all the time. He’s an inspiration to us all.’

‘Well,’ said Pete shortly, ‘where you lead, I follow.’

They stared at each other. Nicky wondered if the atmosphere would get even worse with a secret. If that was even possible. Amanda and Rob wandered over. As she watched them, it occurred to her that there was every chance that Rob might actually tell his girlfriend this secret and not his colleagues. Was the gang’s heyday, in effect, over?

‘Hello, Gang!’ exclaimed Amanda.

Yes, thought Nicky. It was.

She decided to eat on her own in the canteen that day. She hated the fact that she had to keep a secret from Ally. She also didn’t trust herself not to tell her. She needed a day to stop jigging in her seat before she could trust herself to spend time with her. As she started to eat, a shadow fell on her lunch. She looked up. Rob was sitting in front of her, an expression of intense earnestness on his face.

‘I chucked Amanda,’ he whispered urgently. ‘It’s over.’

She blinked. She wasn’t quite sure how to react. Obviously, this was good news because Amanda was a sly bitch and deserved a good chucking, but there were other things to consider. Firstly, why was Rob telling her as though it was of huge significance? Secondly, they were, as of this morning, rivals for the same job. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, she had just put an enormous amount of shepherd’s pie in her mouth.

‘I know you’ve been asked to apply for Miss James’s job,’ he rushed. ‘And I know you know I have too. And I know you know that I’ve known for a while.’

She slowly circled the pie over her teeth to the other side of her mouth. It was good pie.

‘Nicky,’ he urged, ‘Miss James wouldn’t let me tell you. I promise. Nicky, don’t do this to me. This is me talking. Rob.’

Her eyebrows flickered with a hint of a frown as she swallowed and then washed down her mouthful with some water.

He sighed. ‘Shit, Nicky. I know I’ve been acting a bit . . . crap recently. You know . . . since . . . you know. Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about the Nativity Play. That was mean.’

‘I absolutely loved the Nativity Play,’ said Nicky. ‘Can’t believe we never thought of it before. And the kids loved it too. And the parents adored it.’

‘That’s great! Well, it really was very good. It was quite your night that night.’

‘Hmm,’ said Nicky, her mind returning to Rob and Amanda’s liaison.

‘So!’ he rushed. ‘Can we just put all that behind us?’

Unsure how to react, she decided to delay the need. She put another enormous bite of shepherd’s pie in her mouth.

‘OK, I’ll admit,’ continued Rob, ‘my stupid macho pride was hurt. And I really . . .’ he reduced his voice to a whisper, ‘I really wanted you. Badly. So I dealt with the hurt by acting like a twat. Amanda was . . . I don’t know. Revenge? Not nice, but I couldn’t help it. But that’s all over now. Thank God. Just forgive me, please.’

Nicky stared at him. Then she sucked the sweet meaty
juices from her gums, wondering how words like that could still do unmentionable things to her, even when she was eating. She had no idea her insides could multi-task. Wasn’t the human body amazing?

‘Come on,’ he begged, his voice urgent. ‘Let’s . . . start again? Just . . . you know, us. Being the good-looking half of the gang again?’

She nearly choked. ‘Rob!’ she shrieked. ‘That’s a terrible thing to say!’

‘Friends?’ he grinned.

‘Friends,’ she agreed, grinning back.

‘Oh! Thank God, Nicky. I missed you.’

There was a pause. ‘Me too,’ said Nicky.

‘Right! Now!’ he exclaimed. ‘One thing: One, promotion does
not
mean you won’t have children.

‘I know that!’ she squealed. ‘Crikey, I’m
so
over that.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes!’ she said. ‘I can’t believe I cried about it. I think it was just the shock of the promotion. But, don’t worry, I’m not shocked this time.’

‘That’s fantastic,’ he said, slapping the dinner table with his hand. ‘Absolutely fantastic. Brilliant. And more importantly, I’m just glad we’re talking again. I couldn’t have gone on like that for much longer.’ He gave her pie a pensive gaze. ‘Is that as good as it looks?’

‘Better. And you’re not having any.’

‘Hmm,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Can’t resist a cooked breakfast, myself. My appetite’s come back now we’re talking. I feel like I’ve been living a lie for the past few months.’ He gave her hand a squeeze. ‘Don’t go away, Nick.’

He got some paper serviettes and a great big cooked breakfast while Nicky sat back watching him, smiling. They were friends again and all was well with the world.

As Rob queued for his food and Nicky savoured the last of the pie, Mark Samuels spent his first lunch-time in his new job wishing he could see more than the long coils of hair down her hourglass back.

MISS JAMES ALWAYS
allowed her new members of staff one full day of relative anonymity in their new job before formally introducing them to everyone. So today was the day to introduce the new bursar to her band of merry men.

‘Hello!’ she exclaimed from the doorway. ‘Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!’

She tiptoed through the assorted paraphernalia towards her spot, followed by a rather sheepish-looking Mark. The room hushed. For want of anywhere else to look, Nicky looked at everyone else as they all looked at Mark.

This was a momentous occasion indeed. A brand new male in the tired old staffroom! And not just any brand new male, but a tall, broad one with an open, handsome face, warm eyes and a gorgeous smile; a man with two legs, both as long as each other, a man who didn’t have too much hair sprouting from his ears or nose, nor too little from his head; a man wearing a close-fitting, stylish, expensive suit that fitted him in all the right places. A man, in short, who had no immediately obvious reasons for working in a place where most of the people were under four foot.