The Legend (19 page)

“He’s
nineteen Jameson. Be careful,” was Sway’s only advice to me when I left, but
the words stuck with me the way to his house. Sure Brian was nineteen but Arie
was seventeen. What he did was unacceptable to me and he needed to know that.

We picked
up Spencer on the way there but in the nearly forty-minute drive to Westport
from the shop in Mooresville, Axel had called and filled us in on what
happened.

Brian and
Axel had been battling for third place in the points for the last few months
when a late race wreck took them both out of contention. Brian thought Axel
wrecked him on purpose and pushed him into Lily after the race causing her to
fall. She wasn’t hurt but it pissed Axel off enough that he took a swing at
Brian. This caused an all-out pit fight and ended up with Axel getting a fine,
along with Tommy and Rager when they got involved.

Brian,
upset with Axel, took it out on Arie when he got home after the race.

I kept my
cool when he shut the door in my face after we arrived and I kept my cool when
he called my son an asshole. I also kept my cool when he said my daughter
instigated him. Let’s face it, Arie was a spitfire and passionate. Much like
me, if she believed something to be true, she would scream until she was blue
in the face to prove her point. She also knew how to push your buttons if
needed.

When did I
lose it?

When he
had the nerve to say he didn’t hit Arie that hard.

I may have
been forty-two years old and he may have only been nineteen, but I didn’t care
at that moment. He could sue me for assault but he would think twice before
hitting a girl again. He would think twice about hitting my little girl.

Spencer
and Van did nothing but stand there near the front door. I could have very well
did some damage to him but that wasn’t me. I didn’t want to kill the kid; I
only wanted to teach him a lesson about respecting women, more importantly my
little girl.

“I’ll
press charges against you!” he wailed holding his broken nose. “I will! You
fucking asshole, get out!”

Spencer
stepped besides me. “It’s about time we left, Jameson.”

I nodded
to him but laughed darkly stepping toward Brian again. He flinched, curling
into himself against the tile floor in his kitchen afraid of what I might do.

“Go ahead,
press charges,” I leaned down to his level, my voice burned with a warning he
would never forget, “and I will press charges for what you’ve done to my
daughter. She is seventeen. Did you forget that?”

His eyes
widened with surprise but the warning sunk in. He knew the charges he would
face and I’m pretty sure he understood he could kiss any racing career he
wanted, goodbye now.

Personally,
I thought I handled it well. I did lose my temper and yes, I hit the kid but I
did a lot less damage than he did to my daughter. At least that’s how I justified
the regret I felt afterward.

I don’t
know why I felt regret about it. Maybe it was because he was just a kid
himself.

Either
way, after I arrived at the hospital and saw Arie lying in that hospital bed
with Casten, the regret was gone.

Her face
swollen on the left side, her lower lip had three stitches with her left eye
completely swollen shut. Deep purple blotches covered her eyelid. Her nose was
surely broken; gauze shoved up each nostril to stop the bleeding. Thankfully, I
couldn’t see the other bruises on her body but I knew very well that they were
there.

The door
clicked behind me, Arie looked up tears streaming down her face but she never
spoke a word. Casten withdrew himself from her grip and slipped outside to call
Axel leaving me alone with her.

“Can I sit
with you, sweetie?” I asked hesitantly stepping forward.

Since
she’d been dating Brian, Arie didn’t want much to do with me. Mostly because I
never liked Brian and protested any relationship, she had with him. That never
went over well with Arie.

Arie
nodded carefully, her eyes fell to her hands as she fidgeted nervously with the
white fleece blanket covering her.

Cautiously,
I moved to sit next to her but hesitated when I heard the beeping of the
monitors beside her. Instantly and without warning, my mind flashed with images
of Sway and Darrin. It was an image I would never forget, him hovering over her
in that dark stairwell.

Shaking my
head, I tried to erase the image.

Sucking in
a deep jagged breath, it was like dying a slow painful death reliving those
images that had haunted me for over twenty years. The pain never faded, only
now this was my daughter.

My fists
clenched automatically, my knees gave way when Sway came into the room with
Rosa. Thankfully, Rosa stepped back and waited in the hallway.

“Oh god
...
Jameson,” Sway ran to me. Her arms were shaky
as they slid over my shoulders to wrap around my neck, “Look at me baby.”

I somehow
forced myself to the edge of the ocean of my guilt to reach the surface. My
wife knew me well enough to know I never got over that night in Loudon. I
tried,
oh god
did I try but this, although it wasn’t exactly the same,
just brought everything crashing back down upon me.

Sway’s
lips hovered at my ear, speaking slowly, “Jameson, Arie needs you right now.”

She knew
what to say to me.

Immediately
I fought hard to focus on our daughter instead of my own pain. Regardless, if I
felt guilty, this wasn’t about me right now. This is exactly the sort of thing
I feared when I first held Arie, not being able to protect her, let alone Sway.

I don’t
remember doing it but I hit the closest thing next to me, which happened to be
the wall. Arie and Sway jumped when the cart next to the bed fell over with my
movement sending ice water all over the floor, chunks of ice scattered
throughout the room like marbles.

I could
only focus on the fact that history had once again repeated itself and not in a
good way.

Sway held
her hands up, trying to calm me down when I stood up. Arie looked up at me as
well, scared, angry, and apologetic all at the same time. She never asked for
this, nor did
Sway
. She was simply there at the wrong
time.

Between me
punching the wall again, the only noise that didn’t drown out my own loud
thumping heart and adrenaline was my daughter whispering in a shaky voice
holding as much regret as I felt, “I’m sorry daddy.”

I reached
for her realizing that regardless of this guilt, my world was her, Sway, and
our boys. I would do anything for them. So many times, I wanted them to have
normal lives without having to live on the road but I was too selfish.

Tears were
running down Arie and Sways’ faces, reminding me once again, this was on me.

It took me
a good hour to calm down an actually speak. Arie had fallen asleep in my arms
with Sway sitting next to us in a chair. My right arm was under Arie as she lay
on my chest, her head nestled under my chin breathing lightly. My right hand
gently stroked through her hair as I did when she was little and couldn’t sleep
at night.

So far, I
hadn’t spoken since I came into her room, only drowning in thoughts that I
couldn’t control.

Sway kept
quiet to, but when I looked into my wife’s tormented eyes, I decided it was
time to say something to her. She didn’t deserve to see this unstable side of
me again. With Darrin, she’d been unconscious for most of it and not subjected
to the rage I had for it. She also never saw how emotionally worked up I was
over it.

Now it was
right there for her to see.

Did she
judge me?

No. She
never did and never would.

“I’m sorry
honey
.
I
don’t
even know what to say.” Keeping my eyes focused on hers, I watched as a tear
slipped down her cheek. I was beyond ashamed at the way I acted.

She smiled
softly, just the corner of her mouth twitched. “You don’t need to be sorry. I
know this is harder on you than anyone can understand right now, me included.”

“I think
if anyone understands
;
it’s you.”

With tears
slowly streaming down her cheeks, it took her a moment to find her voice, “I
can relate but I’ll never truly understand. No one can.”

She was
wrong though, she did understand. That’s why she never judged me.

“Jameson,”
she began, her voice hushed as if she regretted speaking the words, true or
not. “You are what
holds
all this together for us. I
know you understand that, but I don’t want you to forget it, ever. We need you
more than you think.”

Closing my
eyes, her words enclosed around me. I knew the bond between my wife and me was
vital for me, but I failed to realize how vital I was to the rest of our family
including our kids. They may have grown into their own person but they still
needed us.

“I hate
that he hit her.”

“She’s
okay Jameson
. S
he’s stronger than we give her
credit for.”

I knew
that. Arie was hardheaded just like me but she also knew and believed in
herself. When she said she was sorry to me, she said it more to herself forever
getting wrapped up with Brian in the first place.

I must
have beaten myself up all night over this as I continued to hold Arie. Sway
left in the morning to bail Axel and Lane out of jail. You can guess why.

This gave
me some alone time with Arie.

She spoke
first, quietly and mostly to her hands, “I’m sorry dad.”

“Arie
sweetie, you have nothing to be sorry about.” I placed a kiss on her forehead
pulling back to look at her green eyes clouded with tears.

“I
shouldn’t have said anything to Brian when he came back from the race.” Her
eyes fell to her hands. “I was mad that he pushed Axel.”

“That
still doesn’t give him the right to hit you
or
push you back. No man
should
ever
lay a hand on a woman, Arie. Nothing ever makes that okay.”

“I know,”
she finally looked at me. “It doesn’t make it okay. I know how this looks to
you.”

My gaze
that focused on the wall that I punched shot to hers, “What?”

“With
everything that happened to mom
...
”
her voice faded when she noticed my breathing increasing.

I tried to
keep the anger out of my tone, afraid if she heard the pure disgust when it
came to Darrin she would think this had something to do with her and Brian, but
it didn’t. Unfortunately, there are just some things in life that you can’t
forget. You try but you can’t. Your mind acts as a head sock to memories,
blocking out the unwanted fire in them, but eventually the fire resistance
gives way when you remove the head sock and you’re vulnerable again.

“What
happened back then is in the past but yes, this reminds me of that,” I told her
honestly. There was no sense in lying to her about it. To understand my
reactions to this, she needed the truth. “When I saw your face
...
all I saw was your mom twenty years ago,
holding on to life.”

“It’s just
a few bruises dad.” She shook her head with derision. “I wasn’t dying.”

“Doesn’t
matter if it was a bruise or not, he still hit you Arie. That’s unforgivable.”

“I wasn’t
planning on forgiving him.”

“Well
good.”

She
laughed at my satisfied but remorseful smile. “So I hear my idiot brother was
arrested.”

“Yeah,” I
laughed thinking of Axel and Lane spending the night in the downtown jail.
“Apparently I didn’t do enough damage. Your brother and cousin went apeshit.”

“Oh jeez,”

“No
charges were pressed. I think Axel got his point across.”

“Yeah, I
think Kale gave him a few licks too.” She held up her phone indicating she’d
been in touch with her friends this morning. Kale was Lily’s’, Axel’s
girlfriend, younger brother who protected Arie as if she was his own sister. He
has a secret love for her, but being only thirteen, he wasn’t exactly what she
considered a love interest.

Arie
laughed, “The boys in this family are so protective.”

“You have
no idea.”

I didn’t
bother telling Arie everything that happened but Brian ended up in this very
hospital somewhere, which I planned on having another talk with him. Just for
good measure. He needed to understand this would
never
happen again.

I was about
to leave when Emma and Lexi walked in with a change of clothes for Arie and
breakfast for her. Arie stopped me, reaching out to grasp my hand. “Girls, can
I talk to my dad for a minute?”

They
smiled and set the bag of clothes on the chair next to her bed before slipping
out.

“I hope
that you can get past it someday, dad,” Arie said to me, “I see the way it
haunts you.”

Truer
words had never been spoken. That time of our lives, did haunt me, in ways I
absolutely hated. This was not me. I wasn’t the type of man to hang so
dangerously on to something that happened in the past, waiting for time to wash
the pain away. Nevertheless, it never ended for me. The problem with that was
wasting time praying for that to happen. It was in the past and Sway was mine.
Nothing would change that. More importantly, I could not control our lives.
Shit happens. You would think after everything we’d been through in our lives
together I would have understood that by now but I didn’t. Deep down I was
still that stubborn twenty-two year old that was scared to cross the line with
his best friend.