The Legend (58 page)

I got lost
in my favorite grass green eyes feeling him, feeling me, feeling us. I couldn’t
do anything but stare, locked in his eyes that still held that fire I always
knew. There’s a hunger there that can spread goose bumps and send your heart
racing but also beat slow and low with want.

Flushed
skin and steady movements, I knew that he felt it too. His palm found my jaw;
his thumb brushing my lip as he tilted my face to meet his. His lips parted
with heavy lids before he kissed me again.

Life is
never perfect. Even the strongest crumble and fall to their knees. Even legends
say enough is enough. There’s also a moment in time, a whisper of hope, a
glisten of desire. It’s a thread to a tie that brings a husband and wife
together again. It’s feeling him, it’s feeling me but it’s feeling us.

There are
times when making love that you fall apart together. It might not happen often but
it does. It did that night. With sticky cheeks for months of crying, he showed
me the love he still had to give to me, like it was inside of me just as much
as it was part of him. His cry of pleasure that shot straight through me was
low, lips feather light as they barely touched my own. My lids fell shut as I
fall just as hard surrounded by those same twinkle lights, shared moments,
teasing touches and a blanket of snow, breathless and dreamless.

He
whispered that he never wanted to stop but eventually we did and laid there
wrapped around one another.

As the sun
rose of our balcony, I smiled into his arm that was draped around me. “When did
you fall in love with me?”

Part of me
had been worried that with the accident that he would have forgotten memories
that meant so much to me, memories that made us.

Jameson
buried his face between my neck and shoulder and chuckled softly sliding his
right hand over the curve of my body. “Looking back on it now, the shift was
gradual but I remember when it hit me completely.”

“When?”
Twisting
in his arms, I wanted to see his eyes. Tracing my fingers over his jaw, I
stopped when I got to the tangled loops that had begun to grow back and smiled.
Every day he was a little more like
himself
.

“That day
I left Bellingham.” His head tipped sideways as he looked at me. “Do you
remember when we were standing in the rain, when you ran out on the runway?”

Smiling, I
hummed at the memory instead of replying.

“That’s
when.” He said softly. “When you wrapped your arms around me, I fell. I fell
hard and never looked back.”

“I’m glad
you never looked back.” I was just about to shift our positions so I could find
that camshaft again when he got up. “Hey,” I whined with a pout. “Come back
over here. I wasn’t done.”

With a
grin, he looked over his shoulder at me, after fumbling with the stereo,
shaking with laughter as the sounds of
Bump n’ Grind
bellowed through
our stereo. “I’ve got some ground to make up, honey.”

And oh god
did we do some making up. He had me bending in directions I hadn’t bent in
years. We did the rough sex again, without the emotional anger of the previous
nights, he smacked my ass a few times, tied me up, all that shit.

We did it
because we had that connection again. We found a new groove.

I’m not
sure what the change was, or that we just stopped trying so hard, but we found
it and I couldn’t have been more thankful for that and the words that made me
moan.

Luckily
our kids must have known we needed to be alone and we spent the greater part of
the day in there reuniting. It felt so good to have him back.

When the
sun fell in the sky and the dark began to dance shadows around the room,
eventually leaving it dark aside from the candle he lit when we broke the lamp.

My ear
pressed to his chest listening to the steady rhythm of his heart shifting
through memories of our lives like photographs. His hand moved from being
wrapped around my shoulder, down my back to my spine. His touch was soft, just
like his words. My palm pressed to his chest in front of my face, my wedding ring
capturing the amber glow of the candle as it through sparkles around the room.

His low
rasp sent shivers through me as he repeated the words that meant so much to the
two of us that we permanently anchored them to our hearts. “The light will
bring to life what shadows keep hidden.”

This exact
position was the reason we had gotten these tattoos as it was our favorite
place to be. Covered in skin with my head on his chest and his hands wrapped
around me was where a love was formed in the shadows and brought to life when
we least expected it.

Tears
spilled out the corners of my eyes as they did for him too, feeling him,
feeling me, feeling us.

There’s a
way a man holds a woman when he’s trying to take away the pain.
When his heart is breaking right along with hers.
It’s the
kind of shit that drenches your shirt in blubbering snot and takes your breath
away. It’s a hold that speaks volumes and nothing at all. It’s a hold that
can’t be broken by words, time, nothing. It’s just a hold.
A
hold telling everything but saying nothing.

That next
morning, Jameson left for Charlotte for his next test session and exam with
NASCAR. Rolling over with a smile, I remembered his touch, the words, the
feeling of him moving inside of me. Everything that happened last night felt
like the first time again.

Watching
the wind softly blow through our room, I noticed his gift to me.

There, on
the night stand beside an iced mocha was a letter. I nearly giggled. It had
been years since he wrote me a letter.

Sway,

So many times
over the last few months I
’
ve wanted to ease your pain - tell you that
everything was going to be all right - but I didn
’
t know if it would. I
also knew that it wouldn
’
t change
anything if I didn
’
t feel
it.

Watching
you sleep now, I
’
m
reminded of what I haven
’
t
considered over that time and what I nearly lost.
You.

I know I
’
ve been
distant and unlike the man you grew to love surrounded by one dream and one
lifestyle. Tonight, to feel you, to feel me, and to feel us once again, as one,
was like being able to breathe again.

Our love
was cultivated in the shadows and at a time that we least expected it and it
shines through the darkest of moments, never fading, always triumphing over the
heartache we have suffered.

You are
the light that pulls the boy in me from anonymity and gives me a true purpose
in a life of vulnerability and frustration. I wonder, looking at you in the
purest form, if I could have been a better husband or father. I wonder if you
know how much I love you and think the world of you.

Without
you, all the trophies and titles in the world mean nothing. In the blinding
spotlight my life has created, it
’
s you that brings me back.

Your
life is measured in moments. Moments that test you, challenge you, and moments
that make you fall to your fucking knees, begging and pleading for all you
’
re worth
for just one more moment.

With
you, I don
’
t want
to ever be out of moments. I want to feel my heated check against your skin as
the word stay is spoken. I want to watch your eyes light up when I vow forever.
I want to watch you hold three precious angels. I want to laugh with you, cry
with you, and be one with you.
Forever one heart and one
soul.

I
’
ll never
let you go.

You
are where my heart belongs

Jameson

26.
          
Apron – Jameson

Apron – A
paved portion at the bottom of the racetrack that separates the racing surface
from the usually unpaved field.

“I
passed.” He beamed dropping to his knees before me. “They cleared me for the
Coca Cola 600 race on Saturday.”

Relieved,
he started instantly going in for what I knew he wanted.

“We can’t
do this right now.” I pushed against his shoulders trying to focus. Though I
didn’t want to stop, needed to since we had a meeting in twenty minutes.

“There’s
no way in hell I’m making it through that meeting without being with my wife
first. I have to. After last night, it was hard enough just passing those tests
without thinking of you.”

And there
was no more argument from me.

Continuing
down my stomach with his lips, he looked up at me from under his long thick
lashes as his mouth opened around the button of my jeans, his teeth scrapped
the button around his smirk.

If you’ve
never had a man, and I mean Jameson Riley, unbutton your jeans with his teeth,
you’re missing out.

“Did you
read the letter?” he asked, his breath blew across the sensitive skin of my
stomach as he spoke. “I meant every word.”

Nodding, I
shivered as he yanked my jeans down the rest of the way throwing them over his
right shoulder. “I know you did.”

Keeping
his eyes on me, his large hands traveled up my bare thighs and stopped at my
crankcase. His fingers slid to the edge of my panties, his smile took on a
sinister edge, and then yanked.

Shaking my
head, I tapped his nose with my index finger. “Look at that, those are ruined.”

“Yep,” he stood
breathing rough. “Totally fucking ruined.”

We stood
there for a moment staring at each other as I watched his chest noticing his
breathing was increasing by the moment.

The backs
of my knees hit the headboard and then with little effort I was being lifted on
the bed. With his palms flat on the mattress, he hovered over me parting my
legs slowly with his knees.

He slowly
entered me and I gripped his hard shoulders panting in his ear never to let go.

Drenched
in sweat, his words came crashing against me. “I’ll never let you go.
Ever.”

I heard
myself make a low moan when one of us hands traced down my chest over my waist
and then gripped me firmer as he pressed his pelvis into me a little harder. My
right hand traced his face, slid down his neck, his arm, over his collarbone
and gently over the rippled muscles of his chest. The touch of his bare skin
with mine was everything I needed these days.

It’s funny
the closeness you feel when you’re together like this after feeling a
separation. The feeling of being one has the power to take a lot of pain away.
It can take away loneliness left by a lifestyle. Sometimes words don’t need to
be said, your bodies know.

Much like
the night before, we were making up for lost time and going for fast time.
Jameson had my grooves figured out and could snag the pole on any
given
night and I would have to say he swung it that
morning.

“Fuck
honey,” he grunted rolling us to our sides, his arms closing around me bringing
my body into his. Breathing in my ear, he whispered. “You get sexier every
day.”

My breath
expelled in a gasp as hips began to move. Arching my back, I moved with him, my
hands reaching behind me to pull him closer. We didn’t last long in this
position. The intimacy it provided always gave way to the pleasure and
collapsed.  

“We
gotta
go champ.” I said when he didn’t move for five
minutes. Sitting up, I reached for my bra that was on the broken lamp. My pants
were lying next to the hole in the wall where Jameson had knocked over our
nightstand last night in the heat of the moment. Looking around the room, I
laughed. “We should repaint in here. It looks like our house looked after
Casten’s frat party.”

With a
chuckle, he pulled me back nipping at my bare shoulder. “I’m not finished with
you yet honey.” Pinning me to the bed, I begin to realize he was absolutely
right as his knees part my legs wider. “I have some deburring to do.”

Threading
my fingers through his hair, I moaned at the contact I hadn’t seen in months
from his tongue down south. He moaned and placed my legs on his shoulders.
“Jesus I’ve missed this. I’ve literally been dreaming of this at night.”

I yanked
on his on his tangled loops. “Say what?”

“I’ve been
dreaming of this at night.” He licked his lips and kissed my hip bone. “I woke
up in the middle of the night
...
”
his voice lowered, his eyes hooded as he spoke words I had never heard him
admit, “
...
I had a dream
that I was doing a little deburring on the hood of my Mustang.”

“How come you
didn’t wake me up?” I yanked again on his hair when he tried to lower his mouth
again, his hips shifting against the mattress as if he needed friction.