The Library - The Complete Series (36 page)

After a while, the darkness becomes so cold, I can no longer move. Frozen in place, I begin to fear that something has gone wrong, that Claire's blood has failed to start the world a fresh. If that is the case, all of this has been for nothing.

Claire

As I leave my body, I feel my blood soak into the soil. For the longest time, I feel as if I'm flickering on the edge between darkness and light, but finally I manage to push myself up above the surface in a million places all at once. It's as if I'm growing and spreading throughout this world, while the engine of my memories is pushing my mind to recreate things as they once were. Shelves grow like trees, and eventually books grow like fruit. Trying to maintain control over my mind, I nevertheless struggle as I begin to dissipate into thousands and then millions of new life-forms. Worms, bugs and finally men rise up from the ground, and their voices begin to crowd out my own. I try to speak to them, to tell them who I am and where I came from, but they're too busy with the discovery of life itself; they don't hear me, and eventually I fall silent and just watch as they begin to remodel the world in their own way. I try to find Vanguard, but he's nowhere to be seen. Eventually, too tired and too confused to make any further effort, I realize that I need to find somewhere to sleep, so I retreat to the very first shelf and, finally, to the very first book. Here, I curl my mind up between the pages and decide to wait. This world no longer needs me in order to grow. All I can do is hope that my mind persists, and hope that one day God has mercy on my soul and lets me become human again.

Vanguard

The chains are gone. I'm young again. Everything is becoming bright white. White like the blank page of a book.

Thousands of years later

Claire

Trudging through the undergrowth, my bare feet soaked from the morning dew, I stop for a moment and look back to see Natalia running after me. Damn it, why does she
always
have to accompany me everywhere I go?

"You mustn't go running off," she mutters, clearly a little annoyed as she catches up. "You don't know what's out here!"

"Looks safe enough to me," I reply, finding her concern amusing. Natalia's always fussing over me, as if she's convinced I'm constantly on the verge of some kind of horrific injury.

"That's the most dangerous time of all," she says, glancing around as if she expects us to be set upon by beasts at any moment. "You're lulled into a false sense of security, you let you defenses down, and suddenly you're surrounded by creatures. Trust me, I've been out in the Library. I've seen things you couldn't even imagine."

"We've barely even left the Citadel," I point out, looking up at the imposing building as it towers over us. I feel as if I've been cooped up in that place for far too long, restricted to staring out the window and watching the Library from afar. I've spent countless hours watching the horizon, trying to imagine the kind of life that could fit into these narrow aisles. Now I want to really explore the place, and to see what kind of life forms exist between the shelves. I can't spend my entire life surrounded only by Elders, soldiers and Grandapams. While the Citadel is a wonderful place, and while I know I should be grateful, the truth is that I yearn for a slightly more adventurous life.

"We shouldn't even be out here," Natalia continues. "The Librarian gave me strict instructions that you're not to be allowed outside without an escort from the Soldiers of Tea."

"I'm sure they're far too busy to come and babysit me," I reply. "Anyway, sometimes I think the Librarian treats me like some kind of princess. I'm not some kind of fragile little thing, you know. Look." Stepping over to a shelf, I bang my wrist hard against the wood. It hurts a little, but not too much. "There," I continue. "I didn't shatter, did I?"

"But you're his heir, Claire. He wants to make sure you live long enough to take his place some day."

"I guess," I say, suddenly struck by the strangest feeling of deja vu. Looking back at Natalia, I feel as if I've experienced a moment like this before, almost as if I've met Natalia in another lifetime. Then again, maybe that's exactly what happened. From time to time, I experience strong flashes of recognition, and sometimes I feel that there's a kind of fog in my mind, obscuring part of my memory. Every so often, I'm filled with a strong feeling that somehow I'm not supposed to be cooped up in the Citadel. It's as if I once lived a very different life.

"Claire?" Natalia says, staring at me. "Are you okay?"

I nod. "Tell me again what happened to your people, Natalia. Why are there so few of you left?"

"We came to this world in order to escape our own," she replies, as we reach the edge of the shelves that nestle at the foot of the Citadel's steep slopes. "There's no mention in our records of what compelled us to make this journey, but we're happy to serve."

"A kind of darkness, perhaps," I say, feeling a little uneasy.

"Darkness?"

"Perhaps you were running from something," I suggest. For a moment, I feel as if I know more about the Grandapams than I realize. "Don't you ever want to go back?" I ask. "There are so few of you left."

"We're content to remain in this world," she replies. "We have everything we could possibly want, and we have always been rather docile people. When I was young, my father taught me to seek contentment in life."

I smile sadly. Whenever people mention their mothers or fathers, I feel a flash of loss. The truth is, I have never known my parents. In fact, I'm not even sure that I
have
any. I was found, years ago, in a patch of vegetation. When he examined me, the Citadel's leading physician noted that I lack a belly button. It's almost as if the natural world itself created me and filled me with life. Perhaps that's why I feel such an affinity with the world's verdure. Still, I've always wondered why, despite the fact that I was named Petra by my adopted family, I was so determined upon the age of sixteen to change my name to Claire. Some kind of stubborn determination broke through from... somewhere in my soul.

"Are you okay?" Natalia asks.

Looking up at the bright blue sky, I'm overcome by an ominous feeling, as if something might be out there somewhere, lurking in the distance and slowly inching its way toward our world. A kind of shadow that can't be seen. "Remind me to seek out the Astronomer some time," I say, lost in thought. "I have a feeling that it might be wise to pay attention to the heavens now and again."

At that moment, I hear movement in the bushes and a group of creatures come running past. Small, like cannonballs on legs, they pay no attention to me as they scurry along the nearest aisle. One of them stops for a moment and looks back at me, and we share a moment of confused recognition before he turns and runs off to join the others. In that moment, however, I'm quite certain that I've seen his eyes before.

"What are
they
?" I ask, shocked.

"Inhabitants of the Library," Natalia replies. "Their proper name, I believe, cannot be pronounced by any mouth that has less than three tongues. Fortunately, they're very seldom seen this close to the Citadel, although when they are, it tends to be because they're stealing something. It might be wise to count your jewels when we return to your room."

"There's more to life than jewels," I say quietly, staring at the horizon. "When I become the next Librarian, Natalia, I'm going to change things. People won't sit around and worry about their jewels. We'll spread the good of the Library to the horizon, and we'll keep going until we've enveloped this entire world."

"Watch out," Natalia says, putting a hand on my arm. "Soldiers."

Turning, I see that a dozen heavily-armored soldiers are riding out from the Citadel, heading this way on their horses. I step back and watch as they pass. The Soldiers of Tea are renowned across the Library for their power, and they ride out only when tasked by the Librarian with some kind of particularly sensitive mission. They mostly keep to themselves, operating as much like a holy order as an army. However, as I watch them pass, I'm surprised to find that one of them stops for a moment and looks down at me. For a moment, I'm completely overwhelmed; the Soldiers of Tea have a fearsome reputation, and it's generally considered unwise to attract their attention.

"Let's go!" Natalia hisses, tugging at my arm.

"Wait," I reply, feeling as if the fog in my mind is lifting for a moment.

Slowly, the soldier removes his helmet, revealing the face of a handsome man with a quizzical expression.

"You should be careful coming this far out from the Citadel," the soldier says, his voice sounding deep and powerful. "Especially if you have only a Grandapam to protect you."

"Do I need to be protected?" I ask.

"One never knows what one might encounter between the shelves," he continues. "We have driven the ticks far from here, but the Library is not a playground. Gum and his followers have been causing trouble a few miles to the east."

"That's fine," I say. "I'm not a child."

He smiles. "Does the Librarian know that you're out here?"

"Why should he care?" I ask.

"I know who you are. You're Claire. You're the first book, brought to human form so that you can one day take over as the next Librarian. I understand that you're to learn as much about the Library as possible, but I would have thought that you would study the texts rather than striking out like this. Direct experience can be so much more dangerous."

"There are some things that aren't in the books," I tell him.

"Sounds like sacrilege to me," he replies with a faint smile.

"The books tell our history," I continue, "and they contain the prophecies, but even in the Library I feel it pays to actually come and look around once in a while. For example, the books tell of seven worlds, but when I look up at the sky I sometimes wonder if there is more that we do not understand. Sometimes, when I look up at night, I worry that there is another shape in the darkness."

"Another shape?" the soldier asks. "Another world?"

"Perhaps," I say. "I know the idea might sound heretical, but I can't shake it. I think we should investigate, just to be sure."

The soldier stares at me for a moment. "Perhaps you are wise," he says eventually. "There are already enough archivists and researchers in the Citadel. They read and re-read what has been written before, but they take little notice of the changing world around them. They can tell us everything about the past, but little about the future. If there
is
a hidden world out there, it could easily sneak up on us and be here before we know what's happening. It would be useful to keep an eye on the heavens, just in case such a thing materializes."

"Well," I continue, "things are going to change once I'm in charge. For one thing, I'm going to make them all look up now and again, and see what's up there in the void. Sometimes -"

"There'll be time for all of that," he replies, interrupting me. "There's no need to hurry, Claire. When the moment comes and you assume the title of Librarian, you can make all the changes you consider necessary. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to catch up to my unit. We're going to check the perimeter wall, and then I'm going to stop off and spend some time with my wife and children before returning to the Citadel."

"When you come back," I say, "I'd like to talk to you some more. I need to go and look into the void, and I feel it would be useful to have you with me." I pause for a moment. There's something about this soldier that interests me, almost as if I could swear that we've met before. More than ever, I'm aware of the fog that seems to be obscuring certain memories, and I'm determined to work out whether there's some reason to my apparent madness.

"It would be my honor," the soldier says, bowing before he turns and starts riding away.

"Wait!" I call out. "You didn't tell me your name!"

He stops and looks back at me. "I am Vanguard. I am a Lord of the House of Lacanth. I have slain ten thousand men. I have led armies around the entire circumference of the Library, and I have fought among the Soldiers of Tea." He smiles. "And I have fought the Forbidders themselves, at the point where the past and the future merge." With that, he rides away.

"Forbidders," I say quietly. The name, which I swear I have never heard before, suddenly seems to mean so much. For a moment, I have a strong mental image of three great beasts standing in a ruined landscape; I look down as I feel a brief flutter of pain in my chest, almost as if I'm remembering some great injury. "Natalia," I say after a moment. "Have you ever heard of the Forbidders?"

"I do not believe so," she replies. "Then again, I doubt that anyone can keep up with all the creatures that exist in this place. Perhaps the researchers can be of more assistance?"

"Perhaps," I say, watching as Vanguard disappears over into the distance. I can't shake the feeling that we need to be on our guard, and that perhaps we need to be less complacent. If there
are
threats out there, it might be a good idea to be prepared in case they ever arrive. For now, however, I must simply watch and wait, and prepare for the day - most likely many hundreds of years in the future - when I will ascend to the role of Librarian. At that point, I will become custodian of the entire Library, and it will be my job to ensure that this world is safe. If I am to have any chance of success, I feel I must surround myself with wise and loyal allies.

"Come," Natalia says. "It's time to get back inside."

"We've only just come outside!" I reply.

"You've had more than enough fresh air for one day," she says. "I'm worried you'll hurt yourself. How's your back?"

"My back?" I pause, surprised by the question. "My back's fine. Why?"

"Let's get inside," she continues. "I'll run a bath for you. There are more books for you to study."

"Fine," I say, "but I'm coming back outside again soon. I'm not going to just sit around all day getting my information from books. I want to explore the aisles."

"We'll have to see what the Librarian says about that," she replies.

Deciding not to keep arguing with her, I allow her to lead me back to the small door that leads into the side of the Citadel. As we step across the threshold, I glance back out at the Library and I can't help wondering if perhaps, in a previous cycle of this world's existence, things were very different. Sometimes, I feel as if I might have once lived a whole different life, perhaps even in a different world. There is so much I still have to learn about the Library, and so much that I have already forgotten from the last cycle. Still, there's plenty of time. For now, this whole world seems so peaceful. I only hope that, when I become the next Librarian, I'm able to not only maintain the peace, but push the Library forward to a new golden age.