The Lie of Love (20 page)

Sophie giggled and even Jake
laughed. 
Ged
looked
faintly annoyed, but Darcy knew that as much as Amanda disliked him, the
sentiment was returned in equal measure.  They tolerated each other like a
cat forced to live with a dog for the share of their owner’s hearth.  The
difference was Amanda was so well bred that she was excellent at hiding her
contempt, where
Ged
struggled somewhat. But then he struggled to hide his contempt for almost
everything these days.

‘Now that we’re all here how
about we go through to the kitchen to eat,’ Julia announced.

There were nods and murmurs of
agreement and everyone decamped to seats allocated around the dining table by
carefully inked place cards.

‘Did you write these?’ Amanda
asked with a nod of approval as she picked her own up to examine. ‘What a
beautiful steady hand you have… I didn’t know you did calligraphy…’

‘Actually, Harry did them,’ Julia
replied as she wafted a blast of heat from the open oven door.

Harry blushed as every eye in the
room turned to him. It was the first time Darcy had seen him react in such a
humble way to anything. It only made her want to smother him in her arms all
the more.

‘Wow,’ Amanda said, clearly
impressed and very surprised. ‘Still waters run deep, eh?’

‘Not that still,’ Michael
chuckled.

‘And certainly not deep,’ Harry
added with a faint smile.

Darcy ate silently and gladly let
the louder voices in the party dominate the conversation as the afternoon got
into gear. After a brief few words of heartfelt thanks from both her, and
surprisingly from
Ged
too,
they both became quiet.  Amanda, gregarious as always and louder with
every glass of wine, had met her match in Michael, who parried each witticism
with a joke of his own, until they were so wrapped up in their verbal sparring
and laughing so hard that everyone else seemed to be forgotten.  Harry was
quiet too, and in the stolen moments she dared to look, Darcy found him
watching her and
Ged
, only
to tear his gaze away as she met it. She was grateful that Sophie and Jake were
with them, as their presence gave her plenty to focus on in an effort to take
her mind off what Harry was thinking, and the realisation, that had hit her
like a slap in the face, of just how much she had missed him.

‘There’s donkeys
down in the lower field,’ Michael said as he pushed his pudding bowl away. ‘I
could take the children down to have a look before it goes dark if they’d like
to see.’

Jake was at the age where he
often tried to play it cool, but at this his natural childish glee got the
better of him and his eyes shone.

‘Can we go down?’ he asked Darcy.

‘Would you like to?’ Darcy asked
Sophie, who nodded in eager agreement. ‘As long as you’re sure it’s no bother,’
she added, looking at Michael.

‘I wouldn’t have offered if it
was.  Want to come and see some donkeys too?’ He winked at Darcy. ‘And I
don’t say that to all the women who come to dinner.’

She hesitated for a moment.

‘Yes, come, Mum,’ Jake said.

Darcy glanced at Amanda.

‘Don’t look at me,’ Amanda said.
‘I’m not setting foot on a field of any description in these heels.’

‘I’ll give it a miss too, if you
don’t mind,’
Ged
put in.

‘I’ll come down,’ Harry said.

Amanda gave him a sharp look.
 Nobody else seemed concerned, though.

‘Why not?’
Michael said. ‘You can help me with the gates as I’ll have my hands full.’

Harry nodded and rose immediately
from the table. ‘I’ll get my coat.’

He returned a few moments later. He
was wearing a padded parka and had Darcy’s and the children’s coats across his
arm.

‘I thought I’d pick them up from
the peg,’ he said, handing them out.

‘Right…’ Michael rose from his
seat and headed for the door. ‘Follow me intrepid explorers.’

Darcy scooped Sophie into her
arms and along with Jake and Harry followed Michael out to the back of the
house.

‘We’ll take the Land Rover,’ he
said. ‘It’s a bit far to walk for the kiddies and the light is failing already
so we need to get a move on.’

He opened the door of a mud
splattered vehicle and gestured for them to get in. Darcy and the children
piled into the back whilst Harry climbed up to the front passenger seat.

Harry didn’t speak once on the
way to the field, the terrain beneath them pitching and rolling the car,
throwing them around as if they were out at sea. Where Darcy found it
uncomfortable, Jake and Sophie giggled every time a bump threw them into the
air. She watched the back of Harry’s head, wishing she could see what was going
on in there. It was a strange thing to do, accompany them to what was really a
bit of entertainment for the children, and he must have seen his uncle’s
donkeys a thousand times before.

When they arrived, they all piled
out, Sophie and Jake chattering madly as they approached the fence and saw two
of the residents chewing on straw from a trough. Harry walked at Darcy’s side,
still silent, as they went to get a closer look.

‘Can I ride one?’ Jake asked.

‘Maybe another day,’ Michael
replied. ‘They’re not ready at the moment.’

‘Not ready?’

‘Imagine you had done a day’s
work and you were at home in the evening relaxing in front of the telly. Your
mum comes in and tells you to tidy your room immediately… that’s what it would
be like for them if you jumped on and started to ride them around right now.’

Jake nodded to show his
understanding. Darcy couldn’t help but be impressed by Michael’s obvious
natural affinity with children. He spoke to them easily in a way they
understood.  He must have been a fantastic father to Harry.

‘You can go and give them a fuss,
though…’ he added. Taking Sophie from Darcy’s arms he carried her across the
rough grass, Jake following.

Darcy chanced a sideways look at
Harry. He was watching his father go with her children.  As she faced
forwards again, he inched closer, so that their arms touched. She could hear
his breath, watched as it curled into the twilight sky. There was a faint smell
of spiced wine and sweet warmth.  Darcy wondered whether she ought to
start some sort of conversation, but she didn’t know what. Harry broke the
silence.

‘I have to go back a few days
after Christmas.’

Darcy nodded silently. What did
he want her to say?

‘Can I see you before I go?’ he
asked quietly, still staring straight ahead.

‘I don’t think –’

‘What we had meant nothing to
you?’

Darcy paused, shocked by the
desperation of his tone. ‘Of course it did.’

‘Why didn’t you reply to my
texts?’

‘You know why. We agreed it would
stop as soon as you went back.’

He
exhaled,
a cloud on the cold air. ‘I didn’t think it would be so hard.’

‘I’m sorry. It was hard for me
too.’

‘Meet me.
Just
once more.’

‘Harry…’

‘Please!’

Darcy was silent for a moment.
She wanted to, if only to ease the hurt in his voice. She had never seen him like
this before and the notion that she was the cause of it cut her deeply. But how
could she start their affair up again after they had come so far getting over
it?  She had got used to the idea of him not being around, and had
accepted, after a long battle, that ending it was best for everyone
concerned.  Could she really go through that raw pain of separation again,
open up those old wounds?

‘Christmas is hard. I don’t see
how I can get away,’ she said, trying to impart in her neutral words all that
she had just thought.

‘Try… if you don’t I swear I
don’t know how I’ll get through the next term at
uni
.
I can’t concentrate on my lectures; I can’t get on with my research… I can’t
think straight at all.’

‘That’s my fault?’

‘Yes. Though, I know you didn’t
mean it.’

‘I had no idea…’ Darcy murmured.

‘That I loved you?’

Darcy spun to look at him but he
didn’t move his gaze from the horizon. She opened her mouth to speak, but a
hail from across the field cut her reply short.

‘You’re missing all the fun down
here!’ Michael shouted, waving for them to come over.

Darcy teetered, torn for a
moment, desperate to hear more from Harry, but knowing that she had to keep up
appearances for his father. After a brief hesitation, she began to pick her way
across the field.  A glance back showed her that Harry hadn’t moved
,
he simply watched her with such sadness in his eyes that
it took all the strength she had not to run back, throw her arms around him and
kiss his pain away.

‘Here we are,’ Michael said,
grinning at Darcy. He looked across at Harry, but didn’t seem to see what she
saw. ‘Look at that miserable sod. Was a time he would have got excited about
these
fellas
…’ he patted the nearest donkey with
affection, ‘but now he’s too grown up and cool to mess around petting.’

‘I suppose the novelty wears off
after a few years,’ Darcy said.

‘Now then,’ Michael said, putting
his free arm around Darcy. ‘At least little Sophie here knows how to show those
lonely donkeys a bit of affection.’ He bumped Sophie up in his arm and she
giggled.

There was a shout from across the
field and they turned to see
Ged
striding towards them from the direction of the house. Darcy narrowed her eyes.
Instinctively, she stepped away from Michael’s friendly hug. To be here already
Ged
must have left to follow
them almost as soon as they went. Why did he do that? Why say he didn’t want to
come if he did?

‘Alright there,
Ged
?’ Michael called back. With
Sophie still in his arms, he strode off to meet him.

‘I’ll take Sophie,’
Ged
said as they drew level,
holding his arms out for his daughter.  Michael handed her carefully over.
‘I think it’s getting a bit cold for them to be out now.’

Michael looked a little
perplexed. They hadn’t been out long and really it was no colder than when they
had left the house.
Ged
had
been perfectly happy to let them go.  His expression cleared after a
moment and he painted on a good-natured smile. ‘No problem. I can take you back
in the Land Rover.’ He glanced at Harry. ‘You might have to walk though – not
enough room for us all.’

Harry
nodded, trying to catch Darcy’s attention as
Ged
gestured for Jake to catch up and then spun
around with Sophie to make his way to the waiting vehicle.  Darcy didn’t
dare return any kind of signal at all. More than anything, she desperately
wished she could walk with him so that they could talk properly, but there was
no excuse on earth she could give that would persuade
Ged
to allow that. She had seen these moods before,
and she knew better than to goad him. She merely threw Harry a brief, wan smile
before turning to follow her husband.

‘You and Michael Simmons were friendly,’
Ged
remarked as Darcy came back downstairs after tucking a weary Sophie into bed
and leaving a not quite so weary Jake up with his X-Box.

‘He’s a nice man,’ Darcy replied
as she curled up on the opposite chair, hugging a cushion to her chest. 
‘Anything decent on TV tonight?’

‘Never mind that,’
Ged
flicked the sleep button on
the remote and the TV screen went black. ‘What was going on?’

‘
Ged
…’
Darcy began in a jaded tone, ‘what on earth are you talking about?’

‘You and
Simmons getting cosy.’

‘When, exactly, did that happen?
Because I must have missed it.’

‘All afternoon he’s been staring at
you, giving you his special attention… and you’ve been fluttering your
eyelashes at him.’

‘He’s just friendly. And in case
it escaped
your
special attention, his wife and son were there.’

Ged
ground his teeth for a moment, staring into
space.

‘
Ged
, be sensible for once in your life.’

‘He fancies you.’

Darcy let out a sigh. ‘He
doesn’t.’

‘Because I couldn’t stand it, you
know… another man sniffing around you…’

‘You’ve told me. On many
occasions,’ Darcy said, wondering how it was that a man who was so disinterested
in her on a day-to-day basis could be so consumed with jealousy at the thought
of her being with another. 
Ged
only seemed to want her when someone else did.  It had always been the
way. She pushed herself from the chair. She had wanted to settle down for some
mind-numbing TV, something to make her forget about her emotionally testing
day, but she wasn’t even going to get that. 
Ged
had been distant and cold for the remainder of
the afternoon, and Darcy had her ideas about why. She had been terrified that
he had witnessed some silent exchange between her and Harry. The idea that he
had actually got the wrong Simmons man was almost funny, and brought with it a
certain amount of relief.  In spite of their current conversation, she
felt a lot more relaxed now than she had when they arrived home.

‘I’m going to bed,’ she
announced.

‘Not until we’ve sorted this
out.’

She turned to him. ‘There is
nothing to sort.’ And then she headed for the stairs.

She half expected a hand on her
arm, pulling her back, and she was ready for it. But the sound of the
television flicking back to life was the only one that greeted her, signalling
that for now at least,
Ged
had dropped the argument.