The Life of Anna, Part 5: Emerged (3 page)

“Thanks,” Anna said softly, “But I have plans
already.”

“You do?” Nate asked, surprised.

Anna looked over at him. “Yeah. With
Wilhelm.”

“That’s...Alex’s dad, right?” he asked,
squinting thoughtfully.

Anna bit her lip and nodded, wondering what
he knew about her relationship with Wilhelm.

“Nate, can I talk to you for a sec?” Aaron
said, walking over to them.

Nate nodded and followed Aaron to the other
side of the room.

“So, how do you know Nate?” Lance asked, his
dark brown eyes slightly mischievous.

“Oh,” Anna glanced at Nate, who was listening
intently to Aaron. “Um...we danced together before he came
here.”

“Is that all?”

Anna looked back at Lance and flushed.

“I thought not. I could see how he watched
you during class.” Lance tilted his head. “Did you come hoping to
get back together with him?”

“I.... No,” she said, shaking her head. “No,
I’d forgotten he was here.” But how could she have forgotten Nate?
It all happened so fast she wasn’t sure what she was hoping
for.

“He’s got a girlfriend. Not sure how serious
they are, but thought you might want to know.”

Part of Anna was relieved, part was sad. At
least she didn’t have to worry about hurting Nate since he was
already involved with another woman. “That’s good,” she said after
a moment with a smile. “He’s a great guy.”

Lance grinned. “If you’re too broken-hearted
over him, I’d be happy to cheer you up.”

Anna looked at him for a moment and then
laughed. The mock seductive look on his face was priceless. She
liked Lance.

Aaron and Nate walked back over to where she
was standing.

“We doing dinner?” Aaron asked Anna who
nodded.

“You know her, too?” Lance asked,
bewildered.

“He’s from the same place, dumb ass.” Nate
laughed.

“I’ve known An...Katrina for a really long
time,” Aaron smiled affectionately at her. “Too long, I think.”

They chatted for a few more minutes and then
Lance dragged Nate away. Nate smiled at her before he walked out
the door of the studio and Anna sighed.

“He’s got a girlfriend,” Aaron said. “Just so
you know.”

Anna nodded. “I know. Lance told me.”

“He would.” Aaron chuckled and rolled his
eyes. “Hey, Justin,” Aaron said, turning to the small group of
dancers nearby. “You comin’ to dinner?”

“Do I need to?” Justin asked.

Aaron shrugged. “I didn’t know what you had
planned.”

“I think I’ll go see my new place.” He
grinned at his new roommates and the girls standing next to him.
“And catch up with some old friends.”

“You coming, Aaron?” a woman asked. Kim, Anna
thought her name was.

Aaron shook his head. “Gotta get Katrina
settled in.”

Kim and the other women raised their
eyebrows. “She’s living with you?”

“She’s a really old friend. Have to watch out
for her and keep her safe.”

Aaron took her arm and led her out of the
room. “Did you get a phone?” he asked as they walked outside into
the cool evening air.

“Top of the line, as I understand it.” She
shook her head. “Wilhelm always insists on the best for me.”

“Why shouldn’t he? You deserve it.” Aaron’s
eyes were filled with longing as he looked down at her.

Anna blushed and didn’t respond. She was too
overwhelmed with everything going on at the moment to know whether
she wanted to start things again with Aaron. They walked across the
street and down a block to their building.

The doorman greeted Aaron by name and Aaron
introduced Anna. “James, this is Katrina, my new roommate. Katrina,
this is James.”

“Hi.” Anna smiled and gave a little wave.

“Hi, Katrina.” James smiled back.

“So, what’s up for dinner?” Aaron asked as
they got on the elevator.

“I don't know. I told Wilhelm I’d call when
we were home.” She smiled.
Home.
She liked the sound of
that.

“I’m gonna shower,” Aaron said as they walked
into their apartment. “Why don’t you call Wilhelm and find out
what’s up.”

“Okay.”

Anna went into her room and called
Wilhelm.

“Hello, Anna, er, Katrina.” Wilhelm laughed.
“Perhaps I should just call you
Liebling
.”

Anna giggled. “I like it when you do.”

“As do I. How was your afternoon?”

“Good.” Anna sighed. “Their dancing is so
different than Isaak’s. I mean, not foreign, but...I don’t know.
Different.”

“Do you like it?”

Anna shook her head. “I don’t know. I’d heard
that Balanchine was different but...it will take some getting used
to.”

“I am sure you will do wonderfully, Anna. You
are one of the finest dancers I have ever seen.”

“Thanks, Wilhelm,” she said softly,
appreciating his encouragement.

“So are you hungry?”

“Yes. Justin went to spend time with old
friends, but Aaron is showering right now.”

“Alright. Well, how about I pick the two of
you up in about twenty minutes?”

After a very nice dinner, Wilhelm walked Anna
and Aaron back up to their apartment.

“Anna, I must return to Frankfurt.” Wilhelm
stood in the middle of the living room and Anna turned to him in
surprise. “If Devin knew I was here he would become suspicious, and
Tom is shielding me. I would rather him put his energy into
protecting you than me.”

“Oh,” she said, sitting down on the couch.
“When?”

“Tonight. Gavin is waiting for me in my hotel
room.”

“Oh,” she repeated, looking down at the
ground.

Wilhelm sat next to her, wrapping his arms
around her. “I am sorry,
Liebling
. But we will speak
often.”

“You can’t come back?” she asked, hoping it
wasn’t true.

Wilhelm frowned. “Eventually,
ja
.
But I do not know when for now.” He stroked her cheek. “You do not
need me hanging around here, Anna. You need to find your new
life.”

Anna tried to blink away tears as her heart
burned in pain. “I like you being here,” she said softly. “I hate
the idea of you absent from my life.”

He smiled gently. “Anna, I will always be a
part of your life. But you need to stay safe and my being here may
draw Devin’s attention. Once he is weaker it will be easier. But he
is too strong now. The longer you are away from him, the
better.”

Anna nodded in understanding, though she
didn’t like it. “I’ll miss you.”

“And I, you,
Liebling.
Tom is
available if you need anything. And Aaron.” He leaned down and
kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Wilhelm didn’t linger, but gave her another
kiss and left the apartment. His quick exit made it easier to
maintain her external calm, but it still hurt.

She went into her room and lay down on her
bed and cried. Aaron came in a few minutes later, lay down behind
her and held her until she fell asleep in his arms.

Anna nervously followed Aaron into the large
dance studio where classes would be held every day except Sundays.
Justin was surrounded by several people and laughing. Anna envied
the ease with which he had already gotten settled in. She, on the
other hand, hovered behind Aaron, trying to hide.

Aaron put his arm around Anna and chuckled.
“C’mon, Kat. You can stand by me.”

“Cat?” Anna asked.

“Nickname?” Aaron said with a grin.

“Oh.” She smiled. She hadn’t had a nickname
like that before. Shortening Anna wasn’t really necessary.

Aaron took his place in the back center of
the room and Anna stood next to him, uncertain of what to do. It
was such a large room and full of so many dancers. The New York
City Ballet was much larger than the one back home.

Several dancers said hi to Aaron and looked
curiously at Anna, but didn’t speak to her.

“Don’t worry, Kat. They looked at me the same
way when I came. They’ll respect you once you start dancing.”

“It’s so different,” she whispered. Anna
fiddled with her wedding ring. The women looked so sophisticated,
even though they wore simple workout wear or dance attire. There
was just something about them that screamed elegance. They were all
tall and thin, making Anna feel very fat.

She sat down on the ground and slowly began
softening her pointe shoes. They were new and she had forgotten to
do it last night. Everyone else’s were well worn. She sighed
silently and hoped Aaron was right.

Vincent came in a while later and caught
Anna’s eye. He smiled warmly at her and then spoke quietly to the
pianist. While Aaron talked to the other dancers around them, Anna
stayed on the floor and stretched quietly. She felt someone
watching her and looked up to see Nate had arrived and was looking
at her, eyes full of emotion.

He has a girlfriend,
she reminded
herself as she smiled timidly at him. He smiled back and made his
way over to her.

“Hi,” he said quietly, sitting down next to
her. “I never thought I’d get to do this again.”

“Do what?”

“Sit next to you in a studio.” He glanced at
her and she bit her lip nervously. “Hell, just to be near you.”

“Nate...,” she said softly but his roommate
Lance walked over and plopped down next to them.

“Hey, Katrina,” he said with that mischievous
smile of his. His mannerisms made her think of Kurt.

“Hi, Lance,” she said softly and bent forward
into a stretch to hide her nervousness.

“How was your dinner last night?” Nate
asked.

“Nice.” She held back a sigh. Wilhelm was
gone now. She missed him already and not knowing when she would see
him again made her sad.

Vincent clapped his hands and the room fell
silent as the dancers took their places.

“Just a reminder, you need to be at the
airport Sunday morning by seven to catch the plane. Please don’t be
late.” The room erupted in laughter as Vincent arched a brow at a
male dancer across the room.

“I know! I know!” the dancer said with a
grin. “I’ll have three alarms to make sure I’m there.”

Vincent smiled and then looked around. “I’m
sure many of you have noticed the new faces this morning. Some of
you met them yesterday, but I’ll introduce them to the rest of you.
Justin Sawyer has returned to us after spending some time in San
Francisco, and along with him came a new principal, Katrina
Engel.”

Anna smiled shyly and then looked back at the
ground, very aware of everyone staring at her.

“They will be dancing this upcoming program
with us, so please help them out when they need it.” Vincent looked
at the pianist. “Let’s begin.”

The music began and Vincent hurried over to
her. “The warm up is similar to what you are used to, Katrina, but
I’ll guide you through it once.”

Anna began the series of
plies
and
relevés
as Vincent stayed close to make adjustments and
call steps.

She was frustrated and discouraged by the end
of the first warm up. Vincent kept correcting her arm position and
Anna hated that he had to do that.

The warm ups progressed, increasing in speed.
Even though the steps were similar, it felt so foreign to move her
body the way Vincent directed. Vincent was patient with her and
didn’t, in any way, make her feel inferior; to the contrary, he was
very encouraging. But things she was used to doing slowly this
company did twice as fast. In fact,
everything
seemed
twice as fast as she was used to. Anna was nearly in tears by the
end of the
barre
work.

Aaron touched her arm as she hung her head,
sweating profusely and trying very hard to hide her tears. “It’s
all right, Kat. You’ll get used to it. I promise.”

She saw several smirks as she took her place
for center work and kept her face lowered. She couldn’t even close
her eyes and just dance because it was so...different. The only
thing that made her feel better was the cross-room jumps. She
easily out-jumped all the women in the room and allowed herself a
tiny smile after she even out-jumped one of the men. She heard
murmurs from the back wall where the other dancers watched. After
that, her confidence grew...a little. Her balance was exquisite and
her pirouettes perfect. Many of the smirks were replaced with looks
of respect by the end of class. She still felt out of place, but
felt a glimmer of hope that she would eventually fit in.

She went to lunch with Aaron, Nate, Lance,
Justin and several other dancers. The girls that came with them
stared as Anna sat down with a tray full of food. Anna noticed they
had small salads and vegetable soup, whereas Anna had gotten a
Caesar salad wrap and French fries.

“Should I not be eating this?” she whispered
to Aaron.

Aaron laughed. “Nah. You always eat like
that, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah....”

She ate self-consciously at first and then
stopped altogether when she overheard one of the girls comment on
Anna’s hips and what she was eating.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Aaron asked.

“I’m fat,” Anna said softly, tears burning
her eyes.

“Who said that?”

“Come on, Aaron. You know I don't look
anything like the other female dancers.”

“You never have, Kat. They’re just jealous
because you actually look like a female.” He grinned. “You look the
same as you did when we danced together and...did other
things.”

Anna blushed and looked back down at her
plate.

Rehearsals that afternoon were exhausting.
The City ballet didn’t just do one ballet. They did snippets of
several different modern ballets of Balanchine's, most of which
Anna hadn’t even heard of. Vincent paired her with several
different men to see how the chemistry worked. Some she felt more
comfortable with than others. When she danced with Aaron, though,
it felt like coming home.