The Light of the World (2 page)

"So anyway me and my dad moved here a year ago.
He gets a good rate for me at the school and I pretend I don’t see
him. I'm not in any of his classes. I'm for sure not that smart.
Not in languages."

I watch her sip her float. She's so pretty.

"You meet any billionaires in this town yet?
Maybe one named Chuck?"

She frowns and then laughs, "For the record, I
looked like this before that show came out."

I point, "No beaver teeth or gap though."

She laughs again, "Yeah I got braces."

I notice the guys at the pool table smiling our
way, "So you single?"

Her eyes dart at me. She blushes and winks at
me, "I am, but I'm not into that. I'm all about boys."

I look back at her sharply, "No-my-god. No. I
mean I get it. Yoga teacher-democrat-vegan mom and my name IS
Rayne. Yes, I could be a classic case but I'm not a lesbian either.
My bestie back home is a lesbian though. Her parents are both
republicans and teachers. So you never know. Actually she just
moved to Canada and got married." I'm talking too much.

"That's weird. Anyway, yeah I'm really into
angst-ridden boys with poetry and dark hair and internal conflict.
Delish. Have you read any of the Bronte Sister's books? Love the
gothic romance heroes like Heathcliff."

"Yeah not really my kind of books. I'm more a
Harry Potter kind of girl or Vampire shows. So, the reason I was
asking if you were single was because the guys at the pool table
are eyeballing you."

She tilts her head, "Yeah, pretty sure it's you.
They can't see me."

I roll my eyes, "Dude, you look like a movie
star. I look like I'm one AWOLNATION song away from cutting
myself."

She snorts and root beer froths from her glossy
lips.

I pass her a napkin and smile, "Sorry. I always
crack a joke as someone puts something in his or her mouth. I'm
thinking dentistry for my future."

She wipes her face, "For real."

I shake my head and sip my root beer, "No, that
was another joke."

"That one wasn’t actually funny." She glances
back at the guys at the pool table and looks back, "Yikes. Seniors.
We need to steer clear of them."

I look at them and frown, "How can you
tell?"

"Beer. Real beer. They don’t serve minors
here."

My phone vibrates. I look down at Willow's
message.

'
Try to stay in the dorms as much as
possible. Don’t sleep at other people's dorms Rayne. Bed Bugs are a
real problem in places like this. I love you so much. No sex no
meat and no boys. Promise. Stay in the dorms okay.
Kisses!!'

Relief fills me and wrestles with the guilt. I
shouldn’t be so excited she is going home and will miss me, from a
distance.

I glance over and smile at the dark haired guy
in the group, trying to get our attention. His hair almost matches
mine. Dark brown, almost black. Willow says I'll go gray before
her, because of the dark hair. Her naturally strawberry blonde hair
doesn’t have a single gray, at forty.

I probably already have them. Probably because
of her.

Pool table senior smiles, and my stomach knots.
I can't help but think about what Willow said,
'No boys'
and
roll my eyes a little bit.

"Those seniors are trouble, for real. I heard
last year about lipstick parties with the freshman girls and pass
around girls."

I frown. Apparently I've been under a rock for a
hundred years. "What's that?"

She leans in and mutters, "If you date them you
have to do stuff for their friends. You know. They pass you
around." She presses her tongue into her cheek and I fight my WTF
face.

"Oh my god. Seriously?"

She looks severely serious, "I knew a girl, a
freshman last year. Did everything her senior boyfriend asked and
then he dumped her anyway. Gross."

"Harsh."

"Way harsh."

He smiles at me but I furrow my brow in disgust.
He looks offended and puts his arms up defensively. I almost laugh,
but keep my brain focused on the girl who got dumped. Gross.

"So where you from anyway?"

"Near here. Just in Plattsburgh. Close enough
anyway. So your dad is a French prof? I'm actually bilingual. I
took French immersion. I guess he'll be one of my teachers."

"Next year. He teaches second year linguistics.
Sometimes German or Spanish or Russian or French."

"He is my hero. He speaks all of that?" I ask
and then glance again at the dark haired guy showing off for me. He
leans in and takes a shot when he sees I'm watching. His butt
wiggles slightly. I laugh and feel the heat in my face. He looks
back and shoots but maintains eye contact. I roll my eyes at him
and look down into my float.

"Yeah he's like all about languages and history.
Boring. Anyway, you going to the big tent party tomorrow?" She
asks. Luckily, she is texting and not paying attention to the fact
I'm flirting with danger.

"Yeah. I think so." I clear my throat and decide
to just ask the question that will determine whether we will have a
friendship or not. "You pledging any houses?"

She shakes her head and looks up from her phone.
"No. Those girls become PTA moms and shit. Parents To Avoid. No.
Stepford has never really been my thing."

I can't help but laugh, she looks stepford. "Me
either. I did some studies and most of the time they end up with
lower grades and comprehension levels. I want to work for the
United Nations as a linguist. I am competing against nations with
better schooling and smarter kids. No TV or texting or Xbox."

She puts her glass in the air and grins from ear
to ear, "To the loser nerd girls, who will never be accepted and
never be the toss around girl in a frat."

I clank my glass and try not to notice the boy
vying desperately for my attention.

"Wanna go?" She looks around at the pub starting
to fill up. She is probably as nervous as I am.

"Yeah I should go set up. I'm praying Willow
brought my crap from the car."

She sighs, "Really? Willow?"

"Yeah and I'm not allowed to call her mom."

"Wow dude, she's probably in a frat house right
now."

I laugh. It isn’t bitter or angry. "If you knew
who you were talking about, you would laugh. She is clueless. Has
no idea she's hot. None. She is a complete moron when it comes to
guys. She does meditations and eats leafy greens and presses on
people's stomachs to help them straighten out their organ's
placement inside of them. She doesn’t do social graces. She doesn’t
believe in sex. She gardens."

Her jaw drops, "She looks like that and doesn’t
have sex?"

I nod, raising my eyebrows. "She follows the six
poses from the Fountain of Youth. It's a Buddhist yoga practice.
She channels her sexual energy."

"Okay you're screwing with me." She leans in on
her elbows. Her dark brown eyes sparkle with curiosity and
sarcasm.

I shake my head. "Nope."

"You know it's not like we need to have sex. We
could do the poses too. So we don’t get urges to, you know. I don’t
want you getting urges in our room and letting the dark haired guy
at the pool table, come over and help you out with them." Her dark
eyes glint and I laugh at her.

"Totally not my type. Mock all you like, but
she'll probably live to be a thousand."

"She looks like she's already off to a good
start. You don’t seem to be much like her though."

I shake my head and try not to be offended, "I'm
not. I don’t want to live forever and besides urges are normal.
Poses are not."

She makes a face, "No urges in the room."

I laugh again, "I don’t really think I'll get
urges here anyway. I see the guys here and can't help but think
that they’ve already been around the block. Our beds have probably
all seen more action than a brothel. Let's be real. I'm not loosing
my virginity in a dorm room. Gross and cliché." In my excited rant
I failed to notice how pale her face had gotten. Her glint was
gone. She was trying to tell me something with her eyes. Feverish
heat covered my body, as a deep voice cut into the tense air.

"So I was going to see if you wanted a drink but
I can see my efforts and my dollars would be wasted. Celibate
college girls seem to be big this year."

I don’t turn my head. I don’t need to. I know
the hottie with the dark hair and the sparkly blue eyes is standing
next to me. The sexy deep voice mocking me, of course it would be
him.

I look down and press my lips together. He hits
me in the arm, "It was a joke."

I look at Mona and shake my head.

She shakes her head and looks at him with a
grin, "Not funny."

I look up at him and try not to stare at him.
"Not funny."

Mona smiles sweetly and looks just like Blair
plotting something, "We were discussing a movie scene, about
virgins. It was a line from a movie."

He smirks at her. When he looks back at me, I
stare him down. "Yeah I'm a virgin. I'm not ashamed of it. I'd be
more ashamed of myself if I'd done half the things I can imagine
you've done."

He leans on the back of my booth and smiles like
he's prince charming, "Maybe I like girls who aren’t ashamed of
being innocent. Maybe you've misjudged me. You don’t know me."

I feel my brow knit, the bullshit is being laid
on thick.

"Innocent?" I laugh, "I'm not a nun. I'm just
not a whore. I'm also not some bimbo who's going to be passed
around by dirty frat boys. Look at you with your charming schoolboy
looks and smooth moves. Please, like I'm going to have a drink with
someone who has used his best moves on every other girl in the
room. Yummy. Nothing like being last in the line up."

He looks confused. I'm instantly afraid the pass
around thing is not true, but I've already gone with it. I've gone
too far. His eyes are cold and his schoolboy charms are gone.

"A drink. That’s all I was going to ask. You
women's lib chicks are hard-core. But hey I'm all about pride.
Enjoy your date ladies." He backs away making a peace symbol and
walks back to the pool table.

I look at Mona. She is blushing and trying to
stifle a laugh, "That was amazingly humiliating."

I want to crawl under a rock. "We need to leave.
Can we leave now? Like this second?"

She cranes her neck to look over to where he's
gone. "He's super hot."

I throw down ten dollars and walk out. I don’t
look back. The giant carrot shoved in my ass prevents me from
turning around to see if him and his friends are laughing at me.
Thank god it's a big campus.

Outside I feel sick. The air is muggy still and
I'm hot and uncomfortable. I've been feeling sick all day. I
thought it was my nerves. My day has sucked, so nerves could very
well be the answer.

"He was super hot."

I want to cry. I feel the hopelessness crossing
my face. "Oh my god Mona. He was so hot."

"You were so mean. That was awesome."

I shake my head, "No, not awesome. So mean. I
don’t know what happened. I panicked. He was hot and I was such a
bitch."

She laughs and nods, "Yeah. Pretty much. You're
having a rough first day. Between that and your mom, dude."

Day one of college is new and embarrassing and I
haven’t even made my bed yet.

The big tent party isn’t as much fun as I
thought it would be. It's good clean fun but not fun, fun. The
houses seem too tame and the teachers seem to be everywhere.
Everyone is too polite and too nice. I imagined it more as seniors
with paddles running after a freshman with a sore ass. Hazing isn’t
what it used to be. I am grateful.

Three separate groups of girls have offered me
sheets, pledges and clubs. I didn’t bite on any. Instead I wander
and try to get my bearings.

"Rayne? Rayne Phillips?"

I turn to see a girl with long blonde curly hair
and a beautiful face. Her hair is in a side ponytail, with a huge
yellow flower on it. She doesn’t look like anyone I would hang out
with.

"It's me. Michelle. From home. From
Plattsburg."

I shake my head. Home was small. I would have
known a Michelle. Especially one who wore side ponytails.

She takes a step closer and I feel heat creep up
my face. Michelle used to be Michael and she/he is so pretty and
different suddenly. I can't seem to find the words to say
hello.

"You must remember me?" She says, almost afraid.
I put my arms out and take her in.

"Oh my god, how are you. I didn’t recognize you
at all. You look incredible." It's been fourteen months since we
graduated and she has completely changed in that short time.

She pulls back and blushes. She's so pretty. I
can't stop staring.

"So you go here?" I ask. She's wearing the
campus shirt.

She has boobs. I'm staring. I'm a moron.

"I do and I just got those." She sticks her
chest out more, almost in my face.

I blush harder and look up to meet her bright
blue eyes. "Oh my god I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to
stare. It's just so different than before. I mean I always knew
but…"

She puts a long manicured finger on my lips,
"Shhhh. It's okay. I know I look different. I just feel like the
right me now. No more small towns and small town people."

I cover my eyes and shake my head, "I'm being
such a dick." I pull my hands away and smile, "Let's start over. Hi
Michelle. How are you? What did you do this summer?"

She laughs a girly giggle and points at her
chest, "I got my surgery this summer. I took the drugs but they
only grew to an A so I got them bumped to a C."

I nod, "Okay never mind. I love them. They're
fabulous. Very beautiful."

She hugs me again. Our chests press against each
other and I am excited for her. Weirded out slightly, but
happy.

She whispers in my ear, "I'm so excited you're
here. I know someone else. Yay."