The Lights of Tenth Street (19 page)

Doug raised an eyebrow. “First class instead of a cramped middle seat by the engine? No argument from me. Are you sure? I don’t want to use up one of your upgrades if—”

“Please.” Eric waved him off. “I’ve got zillions. Let me check.”

He walked toward the agents, stood in the short line, and a few minutes later was waving Doug over.

“They want to see your driver’s license so they can find your record.”

Doug handed it across the elegant black desktop. This was
much
nicer than the ticketing throng out at the concourse gates.

The agent looked up and smiled. “They just updated the standby numbers, by the way. You’ve been confirmed for the flight.”

Doug sagged in relief. “Thank God.”

“So let me see what we can do with Mr. Elliotts upgrade certificates …” She tapped quickly at the keyboard. “Normally, passengers aren’t permitted to transfer their upgrades, but as I told Mr. Elliott …” She peered at the screen then nodded. “Yes. His certificates are transferable. And wonder of wonders, there are two first-class seats together. I’m glad both you men got here early or that would never have happened.”

She completed the transaction and handed Doug his boarding card. “Seat 4B. Thanks for flying with us.”

As the two men walked away, Doug put on a mock scowl. “So
you
get the window seat, huh? Some friend you are!”

Eric turned toward him in surprise, then broke out laughing.

D
oug awoke as a flight attendant reached across him to collect a plate and utensils from Eric. He gave a startled grunt as he realized he’d missed lunch. He cracked an eye open, shielding his face from the sun blasting through the small window. “What time is it?”

“It’s eleven-thirty California time, two-thirty Eastern time,” Eric said. “You’ve been out for two and a half hours.”

“Well, that’s one way to make the trip pass quickly.”

Doug sat up straighter and shook his head. His hand brushed his face, and he realized he had creases on his cheek from the patterned leather seat. He rubbed his face, embarrassed. “Some friend I am. You give me an upgrade to first class, and I conk out on you.”

“You must’ve been short on sleep.”

“You could say that. I got way too little shut-eye on this trip.”

“I hate that. Especially with the time change. Early meetings aren’t a big problem since my body clock has me up anyway, but—
whew!
—those late nights. By the time I get through with the dinner meetings, I’m out of it. Stick a fork in me, I’m
done.
”

“Especially when you don’t have a choice to avoid the dinner meeting. Everyone else is fine and you’re—well, you know.” He drew circles in the air by his temple. “The night I arrived, I had a dinner with all the executives from this company that we’re negotiating a deal with. They were drinking and having a great time, but I was pretty loopy even without drinking!”

“Is that the company your acquaintance—the woman you just introduced me to—works for?”

“Jill. Yeah.”

“So out of curiosity, how’d you handle that? She go to the dinner?”

“Yep.”

“How’d you handle that?”

“Honestly?” Doug gave a snort. “I struggled the whole time.”

“Man.” Eric shook his head, smiling. “You couldn’t pay me to put myself in that situation. It’s just not worth it. If I found her attractive, I mean. My thought life
would be a mess all night—or all
week.
”

The two men sat for a minute, and then Doug spoke up, his voice casual. “I’d be curious to hear how you handle those situations with all the traveling you do. I’m in a male-dominated field, so it’s not as much of an issue, but I was in meetings with Jill several times this week, and … well …” He shrugged and looked at his friend. “You know.”

The flight attendant approached from the first-class galley. “Mr. Turner, I’m sorry you missed lunch service.” She bent down by his chair. “Would you like something to eat?”

“If lunch is still available, I would appreciate that.”

“Yes, sir, it is. What would you like to drink?”

“A Coke, please.”

She nodded and turned to Eric. “And a refill for you, Mr. Elliott?”

Eric handed over his glass. “Thanks.”

Within moments, she was back with a linen-covered tray laden with turkey, fruit, bread, and salad.

Doug bowed his head over his meal, then took a slow bite of the large roll and sighed with appreciation. “I was starving.” He glanced over at Eric. “You were about to tell me your thoughts.”

“Well, I was just thinking about times I’ve been in a meeting with a woman I find attractive. It might sound stupid, but I was actually pondering an analogy to your bread, there.” Eric gave a self-deprecating chuckle. “Okay, don’t laugh, but here goes. You like bread, but you like it even more hot and buttered, right?”

“Sure.”

“Well … forgive the crude analogy, but let’s just say that guys in general are usually ‘hungry,’ so to speak. We’re visual and tend to have these images in our heads. For whatever reason, God just built us this way, even if we have the best home lives in the world.”

“Okay.”

“So I’m hungry, and when I see that bread, I’m attracted to it. And if it’s ‘hot,’ I’m even more attracted to it.”

Doug laughed. “Okay.”

“I can’t do too much about either of those two things—I’m a guy, so I’ll notice an attractive woman. And if she’s got a great body or nice legs or whatever, I’ll probably notice that, too. I can’t do much about noticing it. But what I
can
do is take control of my reaction to her or—even better—do something that’ll remove me from the temptation entirely. If I don’t remove myself from the environment, I’m still hungry, and that hot roll is still sitting there, calling my name. It’s awfully hard
to ignore it. My mind is going to go back to it again and again and again.”

Doug smiled ruefully. “That pretty much describes the meetings that Jill was in.”

“Right, but sometimes I can’t change my environment that much. I’ve got a business meeting that includes someone like Jill. She’s an executive, probably a whiz at what she does, and I can’t
not
deal with her just because she happens to be a really attractive woman. I can’t just leave the restaurant, so to speak. So that hot roll is still going to be sitting there, calling for my attention.

“But even if I can’t remove myself from the situation, I can do something about my reaction to her.” Eric picked up Doug’s crumpled butter packet. “No matter what, I can avoid ‘buttering the roll’—I can avoid doing anything that will make it even more attractive to me. Going that next step or not is up to me. I may not be able to do anything about the fact that this woman is attractive, but I can sure avoid anything that will make her even
more
attractive. If I’m ruthless about not giving those thoughts or images an audience, I’ve avoided buttering the bread. But if I leave that mental door open even a crack, and allow myself to entertain those images for even a few seconds, now I’m hungry
and
I’ve just purposely buttered that bread. Now it’s my fault that it’s more tempting and more difficult to avoid.”

“Well, yeah, but it’s not like you’re going to act on it or anything.”

Eric raised his eyebrows. “No, but it doesn’t matter if it even gets that far, right? I don’t want to commit adultery in my heart.”

“Of course. I was just making the point.”

“Well, but see, that
is
the point. If I’m tempted—and
let
myself be tempted—I’m desiring someone other than Lisa. You’d be desiring someone other than Sherry. Not only is that a sin against the Lord, it undermines my relationship with the person I love most in this world. I’ve heard of many men—mature Christian men—who kept buttering the roll more and more and eventually it turned into an affair.”

Doug paused, then shook his head. “We would never let that happen.”

“You’re so sure? What do you think happened to the former pastor and his wife?”

“Of Trinity Chapel? They retired and moved to Florida.”

“No. He had an affair with a thirty-year-old parishioner, and when it was found out the church asked him to resign. He and his wife are living in Florida, but separated.”

“That’s terrible.” Doug’s head was swimming. “I never heard that.”

“You were away getting your MBA, and they kept it as quiet as they could.” He grimaced. “As quiet as they could given the church gossips who spread the news faster than an e-mail chain letter.”

Doug sat there, trying to pull his fractured thoughts together. Their former pastor had been a tremendous man of God, a good friend of Doug’s, one of the main people who helped grow Sherry’s relationship with the Lord. He had been a rock for the church, the main reason it had grown from several hundred members to several thousand in just a few years. And because of his humble spirit and gift of evangelism, many of those new members were new believers.

Doug looked up, shaken. “I can’t understand what happened.”

“What usually happens.” Eric sighed. “He looked great on the outside, but inside he must’ve allowed something that undermined him. You don’t just wake up one day and decide to throw away a wonderful thirty-five-year marriage and a devoted church flock. It had to have been something that happened over time. He allowed the door to crack open just a bit … just a few more thoughts … just a few more conversations. He allowed himself to butter that tempting bread. And one day, he just stopped avoiding that temptation. The same exact thing could happen to you, could happen to me, if we don’t guard our hearts. I’m as vulnerable as the next guy.”

The flight attendant came by to clear away Doug’s empty plates, and he reached for a magazine in the seat pocket in front of him. Eric sat back, staring out the window. Doug reread the same page three times before he sighed and closed the magazine. His voice was low.

“So what do you do?”

Eric didn’t turn his head. “When?”

“When it’s turned into a struggle—more than the norm, I mean.”

There was a long pause, and then Eric turned back. “I have to get away from it as soon as I can. Lisa and I have a rule, for cases when I’m really struggling, when I’ve gone further in my thoughts than I should have.”

“Glad to hear it’s not just me.”

“Good heavens, man, no. Anyway, what was I saying?”

“Your rule.”

“Right. Well, I promise Lisa that I’ll have no private meetings with the woman who’s causing that mental struggle—causing
IT
, so to speak. And no going out to dinner.”

Doug looked up, surprised. “With just that woman, you mean?”

“Nope. If
IT
has arisen in my mind during a meeting, I don’t even go out with a group. If
IT
is going to dinner, I’m not going.”

“But isn’t that unfair to her? What if she needs to keep discussing business with you?”

“Then I can discuss it at a scheduled meeting the next day in an office setting.”

“But that is condescending to her as a businesswoman.” Doug gave an incredulous laugh. “How can you justify treating another executive that way just because she’s a woman?”

“It has nothing to do with her personally, you know.” Eric was looking at him, curious. “It has everything to do with
IT
—my response to her. This struggle has now arisen, and I’m in danger. I need to get myself out of danger.”

“But what about her feelings? It just seems so
rude.
”

“Well, obviously I don’t do it in a rude way! There are ways to be fully businesslike, where no one knows I’m trying to avoid her company.”

“I’m just surprised that you would risk hurting her feelings just to avoid a few struggles over dinner.”

“Well, first of all, of course I don’t
want
to hurt her feelings. And as far as I know, I never have!” Eric leaned close and caught Doug’s gaze. “But if any woman is going to get her feelings hurt,
it’s not going to be my wife
.” He raised one eyebrow slightly, and sat back, shrugging. “That’s just the bottom line for me.”

Doug’s mind drifted to the Silicon Valley meetings with Jill. He gave a mental snort.
Eric is way too paranoid about this. I’m not going to go out and have an affair just because I have a group dinner with a woman I find attractive. I’m happily married I love Sherry
.

He looked back at the news magazine in his lap, and opened it again, giving it a firm shake. “Well, thanks for sharing your thoughts, Eric.”

“Sure thing. You know, we need to do lunch after church with you all. It would be fun to get together when we’re both home.”

Doug gave him a polite smile. “Any time.”

As the “final descent” announcement came over the loudspeaker, Doug took his coat from the overhead bin and stored his bag under the seat. On impulse, he pulled out his wallet and stared at the recent picture he had shown Jill at that first dinner. He loved Sherry so much. He would never do anything to hurt her or their marriage. Sure, he got annoyed with her at times, and things had been a bit tense the last few months, but none of that changed the big picture. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him—other than his salvation, of course—and he was so blessed to have her. And the kids. He tucked the wallet into his coat pocket, a prayer of thankfulness going through his mind. God had been so good to them.

The plane wheels touched down with a squeal, and the aircraft began the long taxi back to the appropriate gate. Doug leaned toward his friend and grinned.

“I can’t wait to see the look on Sherry’s face.”

Eric cocked an eyebrow before comprehension dawned. “Oh, that’s right—she thinks you’re going to miss the show.”

“They all do. I’m trying to figure out how best to surprise them.”

“Hmm.” Eric’s eyes twinkled. “We should coordinate somehow. I’m going straight to the church after I pick up my luggage. Do you need a ride?”

“That would be great. I figure we’ll be there about thirty minutes before show time.”

The plane pulled up to the gate, and the passengers disembarked. The two men walked together along the crowded concourse, developing their plan as they headed for the underground tram that would take them to the baggage claim.