The Lipstick Laws (12 page)

I use the last ten minutes of detention to write up a clever ad. Something that only other Lipstick Lawbreakers will understand:

Attention Lipstick Lawbreakers:
Was the Oath not all you thought it would, be?
Did you wear the wrong clothes? Did you hide too many secrets?
Or maybe your decisions were too unique
to appeal to the Lawlords?
Are you sick of being cast as a social misfit
and ready to take a stand?
Whatever your Lipstick Lawbreaking story may be,
come meet others just like you.
We can make a difference together!
Meeting Date: December 12th
Meeting Time: 7pm
Meeting Place: Penford Public Library (the back table)
Dress Code: Wear anything but the color red!

After sitting alone at the Penford Public Library for a while, I begin to wonder if this was a bad idea. It's three minutes before seven, and I've only seen a few people back here: a frustrated young mother trying to catch her sugar-high child, a librarian putting away reference books, and a cute elderly lady looking for bird watching books.

It's 6:59—still nobody. Maybe they'll be right on time.

Nope, 7:02—still alone. I guess they could be running a few minutes late. The weather
is
bad today.

Tapping my finger impatiently, I start to feel really foolish for thinking this would work. I try to distract myself with a book; however, my watch keeps calling my name. It's 7:10 now. I should probably admit defeat. Feeling embarrassed, I've started gathering my stuff to leave when a soft voice interrupts me...

"Ummm ... hi. Is this supposed to be a meeting?"

I look up to see Melanie Elmer standing in front of me. I suddenly remember she was best friends with Britney last year. They were practically attached at the hip. She has to be in the right place. I'm giddy with excitement!

"Yes!" I say. "You mean, from the ad in the school paper, right?"

She nods. Relief releases the tension in her cheeks. She smiles and says, "I'm a Lipstick Lawbreaker."

A few seconds later, two other girls show up together. Melanie and I greet them with welcoming smiles.

"Is this the Lipstick Lawbreaker meeting?" they inquire.

"Yes," I say. "Thanks for coming!"

"I'm Ashley, and this is Rachel." Rachel waves as they sit down.

Melanie and I introduce ourselves. I can already tell that I'm going to like all three of these girls. They're certainly not the suffering misfits that Britney has referred to.

"I guess we should wait a little longer before we start. Maybe more people are coming," I say.

"Yeah, it's half a blizzard out there. I would've been on time, but I had to scrape ice off my car," Melanie says, taking off her scarf and gloves.

"I think someone else is coming." I point to a tall figure emerging from the rows of books. The closer she comes, the more peculiar she looks.

"Oh my!" Rachel exclaims.

"Interesting outfit," Ashley mumbles.

Melanie's mouth hangs open. She whispers, "Is that a guy in women's clothing?"

"I think it is," I mutter, admiring the superb job he's done stuffing his bra.

"Is this the Lipstick Lawbreaker meeting?" his deep voice croaks. When he brushes the long blond wig from his face, he suddenly realizes that four girls ... four real girls ... are sitting in front of him.

"Hey! Wait a second. What's going on?" he asks.

"You tell us!" I laugh.

Clearly disappointed, he says, "This isn't a cross-dressing club, is it?"

"No!" we reply in sync.

Looking uneasy, he explains, "You know, I just thought when I read the ad ... I mean, it was sorta misleading. Lipstick Lawbreakers ... wrong clothes ... unique decisions ... hiding secrets ... social misfit ... yadda-yadda ... you get the idea. Um, so ... I guess I was wrong."

Melanie recognizes him. "Mark? I never knew..."

"Oh! Hey, Mel! Ummmm ... Let's, ah ... let's just pretend this never happened. I'm gonna get going," he murmurs, adjusting his periwinkle blouse as he stumbles away in high heels.

Stunned, we all stare at each other in disbelief.

Melanie breaks the silence. "It's pretty sad that Mark Rhinehart puts on makeup better than I do. That guy deserves some serious props."

We burst into laughter. Five minutes later, we begin to compose ourselves. Our faces are purple, and our stomachs are sore from laughing.

"Do you think anyone else is coming?" I giggle.

"I don't think my sides can handle any more surprise guests," Rachel says, holding her stomach.

"So, I guess we can get things started now," I say, thankful for the unpredictable opening. After all, laughter is always the best icebreaker.

"Obviously we all have a couple things in common," I say, looking around at the girls. "We all signed the Lipstick Oath at some point. And at some point after that, we all broke a Lipstick Law and got kicked out of the group by the head Lipstick Lawlord ... Britney Taylor. Am I right?"

I glance around at three nodding heads.

"Yes," they say.

"But I'm sure our Lipstick Lawbreaking stories aren't all the same," I add. "And I feel like the best place to start is to hear everyone's story. After that, we can figure out what we want to do from there. If nothing else, this is a great way to come together and vent."

Melanie smiles. "I'm dying to hear everyone's story! I've felt like I'm going through this all on my own. It's nice to be around people who can relate."

"I totally agree," I say. "So, who wants to start?"

"I'll start," Rachel says swiftly, taking a deep breath before beginning her story. "I became close friends with Britney Taylor in eighth grade. She had just gotten in a big fight with her science partner and asked our teacher to switch partners. Lucky me, right?"

I secretly wonder if the science partner Rachel's referring to was Haley. I bet it was.

Rachel continues. "I was friends with Britney for a month before she asked me to sign the Lipstick Oath. Things were okay at first until my mom lost her job. We were kind of struggling for a while and I wanted to help out. Obviously, no one would hire me at thirteen, so I decided to sell some of my stuff on eBay. Britney was horror-struck when she found out that I sold a lot of my nicest clothes. She said I was breaking Lipstick Laws One and Two, and immediately kicked me out."

"That's terrible!" Melanie says.

"I know ... it was! And I'm sure you guys can relate; she made my life hell after that. One day, she came up to me in lunch ... and I was hopeful she wanted to be friends again. Instead, she handed me a five-dollar gift certificate to the Dollar Closet and told me to go buy a new wardrobe. Then she got half the school to call me DC."

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"It stands for Dollar Closet." She shudders.

Melanie and I gasp.

"That's so mean!" I say.

Rachel points to Ashley. "I wouldn't have survived it all without her."

"So, what's your story?" Melanie and I switch our attention to Ashley.

"Well, I've been friends with Rachel forever, and she convinced me to sign the Lipstick Oath." She looks at Rachel, scrunching her nose. "Shortly after I took the Oath, the group turned on Rachel. And Britney demanded that I drop her, too. When I wouldn't stop talking to her, Brit flipped out, saying I was breaking Lipstick Law Four. She kicked me out at the end of eighth grade—"

Rachel interjects, "After Britney kicked me out, she considered me a member of the geek kingdom and didn't want anyone talking to me ... even my best friend."

"That seems to be the norm," Melanie says.

"Well, I wasn't about to drop Rachel." Ashley shakes her head incredulously. "Why would I choose Britney Taylor over my best friend since kindergarten? I only signed the Lipstick Oath for Rachel to begin with."

Rachel looks at Ashley and smiles. It's nice to see that friendships can survive the Lipstick Laws. It seems like it may have even made them closer.

"So, how about you?" Ashley points to Melanie.

"Oh gosh, where do I start?" Melanie sighs heavily. "I met Brit at a pool party the summer before freshman year. It was actually Brianna's party."

"Lipstick Law Brianna? Bri Thompson?" I say.

"Yeah, Lipstick Law Brianna. Believe it or not, Bri and I had been friends for a while before she got infatuated with Britney. She was pretty cool back then."

"I just can't picture her not infatuated with Brit," I say.

Melanie agrees. "I know what you mean! After they met, Britney was all Brianna would talk about. She was obsessed with fitting in with her. She dressed like her, tried to talk like her, and even acted like her—it was kind of pathetic. Obviously, after all the talk, I was really curious to meet Britney. I always knew who she was, but I never really talked to her ... until Brianna's party. After that, Brit called me every day to hang out. By the time school started in September, we were super close ... and Brianna was super jealous! She was so mad when she found out that I signed the Lipstick Oath and she wasn't asked to sign it."

"I can imagine!" I say.

"Yeah, Brianna became more and more frustrated with every passing month ... and no Lipstick Law invite. I guess she got so fed up and jealous that she decided to stab me in the back."

"What'd she do?" we ask, wide-eyed.

"She made up this elaborate story about me trying to get with Britney's ex-boyfriend Brad Miller." Melanie shakes her head. "It was a total lie, but you know how crazy Britney is about friends flirting with her exes."

"You know her father left her mom for her mom's best friend, right?" Rachel reveals.

"I heard something like that," I say. "But Erin told me he took off with some random woman."

Melanie shakes her head. "No, Rachel's right. It's a big family secret. That's why Brit's so particular about Lipstick Law Six. Her mother has stamped it into her head not to trust her friends ... even though she won't fully admit that he left her for one. Now Britney doesn't even trust when her friends make eye contact with someone she likes."

"Wow," I mutter, realizing that Lipstick Law Six has more significance than I had originally thought. Although I can't stand Britney, that's a pretty crappy thing for her father to do. "I know her dad supposedly really loves her, but that's not a very good way to show it."

"I know ... but really, could you blame him for wanting to escape from Britney's mom? She's a nightmare." Ashley laughs.

"Yeah, but Britney got a bum deal in it all," I say, empathizing with BFC (Before Fat Camp) Britney again.

"That's probably why she's so messed up. Now that he has a new family with his new wife, the only real love Britney feels from her father is through his expensive gifts," Melanie explains with a frown.

"Maybe that's why she's so materialistic. Her value is in things, not herself," I say, trying to make sense of her wicked ways.

The girls nod at this revelation.

"Taking her background into account," Melanie continues, "you can imagine how quickly Brit kicked me out once she thought I was going behind her back with Brad. Even though I would never do anything like that."

"Did she leave you alone afterward?" Ashley asks.

"Does Britney ever leave anyone alone?" Melanie rolls her eyes. "Once you're on her radar, you're done for. Britney made my life a nightmare. And once Brianna was asked to sign the Oath, she harassed me even more than Brit did. During the last week of school last year they sent a letter to my parents addressed like it came from Mrs. Wagner. It said that I was being expelled from school for being a Skunk Skank. I was mortified!"

"The dreaded Rank-a-Skank scale," I say. "What did your parents do?"

"They were so mad! They took it to the principal's office, and Mrs. Wagner was super furious too! Of course, she wanted to punish whoever did it. I acted like I didn't know who sent it, though. I was too embarrassed and sort of scared about what Britney or Brianna might do if I told, you know?"

"Trust me, I know," I agree, thinking this story hits too close to home.

"Okay, April, you're the only one left. Time to reveal all the skeletons in your closet. You can't break Lipstick Law Five! We need to know all of your secrets!" Melanie jokes.

"Ha! That's one of the laws I broke," I say. "And get this, now there's going to be a Lipstick Law Eight because of me."

The girls lean in to me curiously. "What is it?"

"Never ditch a friend at a party, leaving her hiding from the cops in a dirty laundry basket," I say with a smirk.

Everyone cracks up.

"Oh! I gotta hear the reasoning behind this one!" Melanie claps her hands.

I tell them everything—the party, the cops, Brandon "Chin Hair" Smith, the tourniquet shoes, the herpes argument... even the tampon bit. It's everything that has already been whispered about in the hallways of Penford High School ... but from my side of the story, down to the tiniest, most brutal details.

They look at me, stunned.

"Your Lipstick Lawbreaker story takes the cake," Ashley says with admiration.

I nod. "What can I say... 'Go big or go home,' right?"

They laugh.

"Now that we've found each other, we should seriously make a pact to stick together. Maybe we can fight back and beat Britney at her own game," Melanie suggests with a sly grin.

"I'm on the same page," I say. "Britney deserves a taste of her own medicine."

We all agree to our new Lipstick Lawbreaker pact. After another hour of talking and laughing about crazy Lipstick Law stories, I leave the library beaming with happiness. I just made three new friends. Three new nice friends. Maybe breaking the Lipstick Laws wasn't such a bad thing.

On the last day of school before Christmas break, I'm totally shocked when Jessica follows me out of Spanish class and starts talking.

"Hey, April," she says. "I noticed you're sitting with Melanie Elmer at lunch now."

I'm caught off-guard. Why has Jessica been watching me?

"Yes?" I say cautiously.

"Will you tell her I said hi?"

Annoyed, I snap, "Are you joking, Jessica?"