The List (13 page)

After we ate, we walked the marathon back to the bank parking lot and got in his piece of a car. When he turned the key in the ignition, nothing happened. His eyes widened.

He looked at me and turned the key again. Not a sound. “Sorry, it's been doing this a lot lately.” He pulled a tool box out of the backseat. “It'll just take me a second to get it started.”

Lisa was right. I vowed this would be the last time ever I was caught without my car. I pulled out my cell and called Nicole. Thankfully, she was only about ten minutes away.

He was still tinkering under the hood when she pulled up in her Mercedes. I got out and walked around to the front of his car. “Thanks for the evening, Kelvin. You take care.”

“You're leaving?” He looked at Nicole's car, looked at me, then back at her car.

“Uh, yeah.”
Be nice, Michelle.

“What about me?” He wiped his black hands on his jeans.

I stepped back, hoping he wasn't planning on touching me. “Don't you have someone you can call?”

“Oh, it's like that?”

“Like what, Kelvin?”
You knew this broke-down piece of junk would probably leave us stranded when you suggested we take one car.
What was I supposed to do, call him a cab and pay for it?

“You think you could help me out with a cab?”

I didn't bother to answer. Just walked around to the passenger side of Nicole's car.

“You're leaving for real? You gon' leave a brother hanging?”

The only bad part of this was that I would have to see him around church occasionally.

He continued to rant, “I can't believe this. You like all the rest. I'm sick of all you black women who think . . .”

I got in the car and slammed the door as the curse words started flying.

Nicole looked over at me and started to say something.

I held up a hand. “Just drive, girl. I can't even talk about it right now.”

She looked at Kelvin's three-toned car, chuckled and pulled off. “Umm, umm, umm. Girls' night can't come fast enough.”

I leaned back and closed my eyes.
Okay, God. I tried. It was horrible. Can you send me my perfect man now? Just send him to ring my doorbell . . .

I
t was a good thing we had the next girls' night at Vanessa's. Nobody else had enough floor space for everyone to be rolling around laughing when I shared the details of my date with Mr. Cheapo.

Vanessa held her side, trying to catch her breath, Angela laughed and coughed until I thought she would choke to death, and Lisa kept screeching for me to stop before she peed on herself. And Nicole? She turned bright red. I was scared her eyeballs were gonna pop out of her head. Of course, I embellished the story and made the whole thing sound worse than it had to. I figured I needed to get some pleasure out of it.

When I got to the part about his car, Nicole stopped laughing long enough to validate the fact that the car was indeed maroon, yellow, and blue.

“So, I think that counts as enough for the next three weeks.” I waited for everyone to stop laughing and get back on the couch.

“What do you mean?” Lisa wiped her eyes. “You don't want to go on any more dates?”

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

“I know it was bad, but you have to keep trying. You can't stop now. You're just getting started and already, you've topped me.” Lisa erupted into a fresh set of giggles.

Vanessa said, “Even though she's being evil, Lisa's right. You have to get back out there.”

I folded my arms. “Yeah, whatever.”

Vanessa continued, “No. Really, Michelle. In fact, you have to promise to go on another date within the next week.”

“Within the week? It took me all this time to get this one. Where am I supposed to meet a guy to go out with by next week?”

“You can find a guy,” Angela said. “You're Miss Social.”

I could tell they weren't going to let me out of it. I suddenly had an overwhelming need for something sweet and was glad Angela had baked chocolate chip cookies for us. I reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the largest cookie on the plate. “Okay, enough about me. Lisa, let's hear about your fiasco for the week.” The only thing I could do was change the subject and hope they'd forget by the end of the evening.

Lisa was all too ready to tell her story. I was beginning to think it was fun for her to shock us with how bad her guy encounters were.

“Remember the guy I told you about that I met on eHarmony and we hit it off? The journalist guy?”

“The guy that broke up with you by text message?” Nicole started laughing again.

Vanessa frowned. “I think I missed that one. Catch me up.”

“Well, I met this guy on eHarmony.” Lisa rolled her eyes like she was beginning to wonder if it was a worthwhile investment. “And he seemed cool. We emailed back and forth for a while and had similar interests. When I felt like he wasn't a lunatic, I gave him my number, and we talked on the phone a few times. We were really feeling each other, and for the first time since this whole madness started, I felt like I might actually have a nice date.”

“Uh-huh.” Vanessa nodded and picked out the smallest cookie on the plate.

“For real this time,” Lisa said emphatically. “We like the same music. Same movies and television shows. He writes for a newspaper, I work for a magazine. He's a Christian and really into God. We had some really good spiritual discussions and after a couple of weeks, we decided to meet. He lives in Macon—not too far—so we made plans for him to come here like six weeks ago.

“Well, you know me. I got my hair done and bought a new outfit and planned where we were gonna go for the weekend. And then at work on Friday afternoon, I pick up my cell and notice that I have a text from him. Five messages, to be exact.”

“Five messages?” Vanessa asked.

Lisa nodded. “I read the first one. He says he can't believe this happened but there was this girl his cousin had introduced him to a month prior. The first time he met her, he thought God told him she was his wife, but she dumped him. She called him the night before and told him she felt like she missed God—next message—and she had a dream about him and God showed her they were supposed to be together. He didn't want to disobey God since He told him that they were to be married on the first date and then God gave her a dream—next message—that he knew it was God for them to be together. And so even though it seemed like I was wonderful and we had hit it off, he had to heed the voice of God and date—next message—this woman. And he was sorry to have to break it off this way and hoped there would be no hard feelings and he knew God would send me—next message—the perfect man in His perfect time.”

Vanessa's mouth was locked open. “He sent all that in a text?” She looked around at all of us, stifling giggles.

“Not one text.” Lisa sucked her teeth. “Five texts.” Lisa reached over to the coffee table and turned the plate around, examining the cookies, probably looking for the one with the most chocolate chips. She finally picked out two and slid the plate back to the middle of the table.

“So, fast forward to the present. I get a text two days ago, and I don't recognize the number. It says,
Hey beautiful lady. How are you?
So, of course, my curiosity gets the best of me, and I answer and text,
Fine, who is this?
This nut has the nerve to write back,
The love of your life—Randy.
Girl, I almost threw the phone. I texted him back and said I was busy on a shoot. He wasn't worth a minute more of my time.”

“I know that's right, girl,” I said. “I can't believe he had the nerve to even contact you.”

Lisa sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “So, I didn't even think about him. This afternoon, I get this text from him saying he's going to be in town this weekend and he'd love to have the opportunity to meet me. I texted back,
Hmmm, things didn't work out with that other girl, huh?
He writes back,
No it didn't. How did you know?
Now y'all know I'm trying to get delivered from the spirit of sarcasm, but he took me there. I wrote back,
I'm prophetic. The Lord showed it to me by divine revelation.
This nut writes back,
Wow you really are prophetic. That's amazing. Godly and beautiful. What a combination.
I just stared at the phone. Couldn't believe he could be that dumb. So, then he sends another text.
So do I get to meet you this weekend, lovely woman of God?
”

“No way in the world. Are you serious?” I asked.

“Girl, yes. I just wrote back,
No, I'll be spending my weekend with my wonderful new man of God.
Then I blocked my phone, so he couldn't call or text me anymore. God's gonna have to forgive me for lying.”

We all laughed.

I wondered when Lisa would get tired of it all. If I'd had so many bad experiences, I'd shut it down and start praying for God to make me a eunuch.

“So, Angie, how's Gary?” Vanessa asked. “Is he coming, or are you going this weekend?”

“I'm going down there. He has to work late tomorrow, so it's easier for me to travel.”

Angela's glow was blinding. I thought we were going to have to put a veil on her, like the Israelites did with Moses.

“Where do you stay when you go down there?” Nicole shivered and pulled a blanket around her shoulders, snuggling back into the couch. “Does he put you up in a nice hotel?”

“Well . . . um . . . the first few times I stayed in a hotel, but the last time, I stayed in his guest room.” Angela munched on a cookie. “We both figured there was no sense in spending all that money since we spend so much of our time together anyway.”

We all sat silent for a few minutes.

Finally, Vanessa said, “Angela, do you think that's a good idea?” She got up to adjust the thermostat. Sometimes she overdid it with the air conditioner.

Angela shrugged. “It's not like we're doing anything. He sleeps in his bedroom. I sleep in the guestroom. It's really no different from the hotel, if you think about it.”

“No different from the hotel? Instead of miles, you're sleeping within feet of the man you're in love with?” Vanessa said gently.

“We're not going to do anything,” Angela said.

Lisa asked, “You don't get tempted?”

“Not at all. I've waited this long. I'm not gonna mess up now.”

“How do you know?” Lisa asked.

“Because I'm not. We're both committed to waiting until marriage. And, yes, we talked. I told him I was a virgin and that made him feel even more committed to us not doing anything.”

Was it me, or did Angela seem a little too defensive? “Yeah, but even if you're committed, that doesn't mean you're above temptation. You're still human, Angela,” I said.

“I'm not like that. I don't get all hot and bothered like you guys do. I guess 'cause I've never had sex. I mean, I enjoy kissing him and all and snuggling and being close to him. We even slept in the bed together one night because we fell asleep watching a movie, and nothing happened.”

“You slept in the bed with him?” Me, Lisa, and Nicole asked together.

Angie put a hand over her mouth, like she hadn't meant to let that slip out.

Vanessa put a hand on Angela's shoulder. “Sweetie, you're playing a very dangerous game. Gary is a grown man, and even though he may have every intention of waiting until marriage, you can't put yourself in that kind of position. You're asking to fall.”

Angie shrugged off Vanessa's hand. “We're not going to fall. Gary is godly, and I'm godly. I'm a virgin at forty-one. Doesn't that count for something? Why don't you guys have any faith in me?”

“It's not a matter of having faith in you, Angie,” I said. “It's understanding the flesh and our natural urges. Especially a man's urges. It's human nature. If you play with fire, no matter how careful you are, you eventually get burnt.”

Vanessa chimed in, “Please, sweetie, you've got to hear us on this and trust that we know what we're talking about. I think we've all found ourselves in compromising positions. And no matter how much we loved God and how saved we thought we were, it wasn't enough to keep us. You can't take it for granted that you won't do it. Because when you're the most vulnerable or even when you least expect it, things happen. You don't want to live with that kind of regret. After holding off this long, you should experience the joy of waiting until your wedding night.”

Angela sat quietly for a few minutes. “I hear you guys, but I assure you, there's nothing to worry about. Sometimes I even wonder if I have a sex drive. I feel love for Gary, but the sex thing? I feel nothing. There's no burning or sweating or lusting like Michelle's always talking about. And Gary is a perfect gentleman.”

“How about we all chip in and pay for your hotel?” Nicole suggested.

“You guys don't have to do that. It's really not about the money. I just want to be with him. I've never been in love like this before.”

“Exactly why you don't need to be staying at his house,” Lisa said.

Angela got up and walked toward the kitchen. “Stop worrying. I'm not gonna do anything.”

The four of us let out a collective sigh. I knew we'd all be sending up some serious prayers because Angela's head was like a brick. And like my daddy always said, a hard head made a soft behind.

Angela came back with a liter of Coke and some cups. I remembered the awful feeling the first time me and my ex slipped. I felt like dirt. Worse than dirt. I didn't want to go to church. Didn't want to pray. Didn't want to face God. The shame was crippling. And in spite of the shame, we did it again. And again. And again. I couldn't seem to stop. And he didn't even try. Which is how I ended up married at twenty-one.

And Angela thought she was immune to it. That sex demon that took over your life when you gave it half a chance. That awful thing that made you put on your sexiest lingerie and end up at his apartment when you knew you needed to take your butt home. Then, somehow, you ended up in the bedroom or on the couch, and somehow your clothes came off, and next thing you knew, you were filled with regret that you had messed up yet again.

I shook my head.

“What, Michelle?” Angela almost spat the words at me.

I pursed my lips and shook my head again. “Nothing, sweetie. Nothing at all.” Seemed like all we could do was sit back and pray, hoping for the best.

And be there to help Angela put things back together if things went wrong.