The List (24 page)

“Okay.” He sounded hopeful again. “We'll talk about this more when I see you. Okay?”

“Yeah. That sounds good. Talk to you soon.”

I
saiah must have been nervous about our conversation, because he called and sent text messages several times the rest of the day, and the next, asking if we could meet to talk. When he called for the millionth time Saturday evening, I finally answered the phone.

“Hey, Isaiah.” I tried to tell myself that I ignored all his calls because I was busy, and not because I was no longer interested in him because he was broke.

“You answered. I wondered if you had written me off for good.”

“Been crazy busy, getting back into the swing of things at work.” I sat at my desk in my messy office at home, thumbing through a script I was working on for a
Destiny's Child
episode. I hated bringing work home but needed to get the show moving.

“Oh. I'm glad to hear that.”

I didn't say anything.

“So, I still want to see you. To talk.” He sounded hopeful and defeated. Made me wonder how many times he had been through this with women who initially fell hard for him then balked when they found out about his financial situation.

“You said you were moving today, so I didn't think it was good for you.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, well, moving for me is not a big deal. It's not like I have a lot of stuff. Just clothes, books, and instruments really . . .” His voice trailed off like he wished he hadn't shared that information.

“It's late now. How about tomorrow after church?” I planned to spend the whole day working to get
Destiny's Child
to the point where we could start shooting. “I need to work most of the day, but I could squeeze in an hour or two after service.”

“I'm being squeezed in, huh?” He tried to laugh, but his voice sounded sad.

“It's not like that, Isaiah.” I decided to lighten things up. “In fact, this is your fault. You're the one who prayed for me to get my job back with a promotion, so now I have to pay the price for it.”

“My fault, huh?” His laugh was a little brighter. “Okay. I'll take that. What time is service over?”

“I'm going to early service so I can have most of the day to work, so about ten thirty. Where do you want to meet?”

“Uh . . . well . . . I left my sister's car at her house, so . . . uh, unless you want to pick me up to take me somewhere, we should probably meet here at Nigel's.”

“Oh.” My silence said everything.

“Is that okay?”

I could hear the embarrassment in his voice. “Sure. No problem at all. I think I remember how to get there.”
You don't have a car. How lame is that?
“I'll be there at ten thirty. Eleven at the latest.”

“Cool. Looking forward to seeing you.”

“Yeah . . . uh, me too, Isaiah.”

Lisa agreed to meet me for early service. I hated going to church alone. I knew better than to ask Nicole. There was no way she was getting out of bed early enough on a Sunday morning to get to 8:00 service.

Lisa met me at our usual section in the middle. We sat chatting for a few minutes—mostly her pointing out cute guys—when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Jason standing there, flanked by his two daughters.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” I said without thinking.

“Why do you always ask me that when you see me at church? Do I act like that much of a heathen at work?”

I laughed and stood to hug him. “Of course not, silly. I forgot you told me you'd been coming to early service.” I looked at his daughters. “And who are these two gorgeous girls?”

The younger one hid behind his legs and peeked out at me.

He nudged her to come from behind him. “This is my baby girl, Cameron. And this . . .” He turned to the older daughter. “. . . is my big girl, Candace.” Pride filled his voice, and he stuck out his chest. “Girls, this is Miss Michelle. My friend from work.”

Candace held out a hand to me. “Nice to meet you, Miss Michelle.” She pulled her sister from behind Jason's leg. “Be a big girl and say hello, Cameron.”

Cameron peeked out from her hiding place long enough to wave and to flash me a snaggle-toothed smile and went back behind her father. Candace rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Both girls looked exactly like Jason. Like their mother only served to carry them for nine months, but they took all his genes. Their clothes were color-coordinated, clean and freshly pressed. They wore matching shoes and earrings, and even their ribbons and hair bows matched. The parts in their hair were a little crooked and their braids a little uneven, but it was clear that Jason was efficient as a single dad.

“I see Cameron's feeling better.”

Jason nodded. “Yeah. After I picked her up on Friday, she didn't have any more vomiting. Their mom was supposed to pick them up for the weekend, but with Cameron sick, they ended up staying with me.” He reached down and smoothed a few stray hairs into Cameron's ponytails. “Seems like we're catching a stomach virus one Friday a month lately.”

I nodded, catching what he was implying.

“We better grab a seat before it fills up in here. Good to see you.”

Lisa, who had pretended not to be eavesdropping on the conversation, stood and gestured down our row. “We have three seats here with us. Everywhere else looks pretty full.”

“Oh. Okay, thanks.” Jason looked at Lisa. “Nicole, right?”

She looked surprised. “I'm Lisa. Nicole was the other friend you met.”

Jason pointed for the girls to step over me and Lisa to the seats next to us. He sat between them. Cameron sat in the seat next to me.

Jason leaned over to explain. “I have to keep them separated during church. They become little giggleboxes if I let them sit next to each other.”

I nodded.

Cameron stole a glance at me with her big pretty eyes. It was like looking into Jason's eyes, and I felt myself getting lost in them, like I did his. She turned away from me and tried to wedge herself behind Jason's back.

“Why you acting all shy, Cam?” He pinched her little legs and looked over at me. “When she gets warmed up, you can't get her to stop talking.”

Jason opened his book bag and pulled out two children's Bibles and handed one to each of the girls. He took his daughters' jackets, folded them and put them under their seats.

When the lights dimmed a little to indicate that praise and worship was about to start, Lisa leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Cool, we can do the worship test.” She rubbed her hands together.

I rolled my eyes at her. “You're hilarious.”

She winked. “Watch him close, girl.”

Not only did Jason stand for praise and worship, the girls stood with him, without any coaxing. Jason sang, lifted his hands, and knew all the words to all the songs.

I wanted to kick Lisa for elbowing me the whole time.

The girls also clapped and danced. Candace sang the chorus parts in a loud little-girl voice. Cameron danced in circles and sang a few words every once in a while.

When praise and worship ended, we all sat down. The girls sat quietly through the announcements. When it was time to take up offering, both girls pulled out their little purses and took out a dollar. They reached for the seat back in front of them to get an envelope. Cameron handed hers to her father to fill out, while Candace wrote her name and address in large letters on hers.

When Pastor started to preach, Cameron tapped Jason on the shoulder. He leaned down for her to whisper in his ear. He picked up the book bag and pulled out a coloring book, crayons and a Ziploc bag full of Cheerios and gave them to her. He pulled out a pink notebook and marker and handed them to Candace. She reached into the bag and grabbed a box of raisins. I had wondered why Jason needed such a large bag for church. I guess, if I had kids, I would've known.

I was so busy watching Cameron do a good job of coloring within the lines, I barely paid attention to the sermon. She tapped Jason every once in a while, and he'd look down, admire her artwork, then go back to listening to the sermon.

After about twenty minutes, Cameron's eyelids drooped, and her head started to bob. After a few more minutes, I felt her little head land on my arm. She was knocked out.

Jason was too caught up in the sermon to notice. After a good five minutes, she let out a snore, and he looked down at her leaning against me. His eyes flew open. He mouthed the word
sorry
and started to pull her off me, but I shook my head. “She's fine,” I whispered.

He shook his head like he was embarrassed, but I smoothed back her hair to let him know she was okay. She snuggled into my side and let out a sigh. I coulda sworn I felt my poor ovaries cramping.

When it sounded like Pastor was about to end the sermon, Jason handed the book bag to Candace, and she put her notepad, marker, and empty raisin box in it. One by one, he handed her Cameron's book, crayons, and half empty Cheerio bag. She put them and the children's Bibles into the book bag and zipped it shut. Jason patted her leg.

After the benediction, he gently picked a sleeping Cameron up from my lap and lifted her in his arms. Candace covered Cameron with her jacket and put on her own, picked up the book bag then nodded at Jason. Me and Lisa moved, so they could step into the aisle.

As they left, Jason turned and whispered to me, “See you at work tomorrow.”

I nodded and waved goodbye to Candace.

She said, “Nice to meet you, Miss Michelle,” as she hoisted the book bag over her shoulder.

After they left, Lisa turned to me. “Oh, my goodness, his girls are beautiful. And they're so well-behaved. Girl, they had me rethinking my ‘kids are a deal-breaker' rule. And he's such a good daddy. They were clean, and their hair was done all cute, and everything matched. Girl, ain't nothing sexier than a man taking good care of his children. Except, of course, a man worshipping. Speaking of, he passed the worship test too. Did you see him with his eyes all closed, hands lifted, singing his heart out to the Lord? And not only him, but you can tell the girls like church too. Did you see them filling out their tithing envelopes? I bet his house is clean and he can cook. I don't know what your problem is, Michelle. He's perfect.”

I held up a hand to stop Lisa's flood of praise for Jason. “Please, Lisa. I can't think of Jason like that.”

“You mean you don't like him?”

“I didn't say that. It's just . . . I can't talk about it.” I looked at my watch. “I gotta go.”

“You're going to work right now? We could go for brunch first.”

“I have to meet Isaiah. To talk.”

Lisa looked at me and shook her head. “Girl, you got too many men for me.”

 

When I rang the doorbell at Nigel's, Isaiah opened the door almost immediately. He stood for a few seconds with his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. His head was slightly bowed and his smile not as big as usual. When he reached out for me, his hug didn't feel the same. I didn't know if it was me or him. He seemed to put the same affection into it, but now, that safe, secure feeling was gone.

“Hey,” he said.

“What's up, Isaiah?” I hoped I didn't sound too abrupt. Apparently I did, because a pained look came into his eyes.

“You okay?”

I nodded. “Was up late working on a script, and I need to spend the rest of the day working on stuff.” I smiled. “Guess I had too much fun while I was off.” I figured I'd give him a little something.

He smiled back. “Yeah, that's what happens when you spend too much time with Isaiah.” He led me through the foyer and up the stairs and down a long hall. “Glad you got your job back though. I told you God was going to do it.”

“Yeah. He did exactly what you said. Thanks for your prayers and for helping me stay in a place of peace through all this. I appreciate you being there for me.” I followed him into his bedroom.

“But . . .” He looked me in my eyes.

“But what?” I averted my eyes and looked around. It was a narrow room with a twin mattress on the floor. Bags of clothes lined the wall. Some were in plastic bins.

“But now?”

I shrugged. “I don't know. You kinda threw me for a loop.” I looked around at boxes of books and CD's lining the other wall.

“And it matters that much? We have a great time together. I feel like there's something special starting between us. But because I don't have a fancy house and luxury car, you're no longer interested in spending time with me? How can it matter that much?”

“I guess I'm trying to figure that out.” I walked over to a wooden chair by the window. “I'm at a certain place in my life right now where . . .” I looked out at Nigel's large, tree-lined yard. “Let me be honest. I'm thirty-five, and my heart's desire is to be married and start a family. So as much fun as we have and as good as we may be together, we're in different places right now. Different goals and different priorities.”