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Authors: Amy Lane

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pass, with the defense, to catch the rebound or return the lost alley-oop.

Xander Karcek was the superstar, and he hated it, but even the papers

and the colleges acknowledged that he wouldn"t have been who he was

without Christian Edwards.

He loved that.

34

Amy Lane

IT DIDN"T take much nudging for the two of them to get offers from the

same school. It was out of state, which was exciting for Chris and not a

problem for Xander. Neither of them had ever been to North Carolina,

and their odds of being recruited by a pro team doubled when they went

there, as opposed to someplace local. (They both deplored Los Angeles,

so UCLA was right out.) By the time their junior year ended, UNC had

them both in its sights: Xander would get a free ride, and Chris would

get tuition and books. His parents had enough saved to set him up in the

dorms for a year or two, and in the summer before his senior year, Chris

went to work right next to Xander, to ensure that as long as they could

play the game, the two of them could stay side by side, the way God

intended.

Working together was almost like playing ball. Chris would do

window in the late nights, and chat up all the customers. Xander would

work assiduously in the back, making sure they could leave on time, or

even early, as soon as they closed, so that he and Chris could take ten

minutes, even fifteen, downstairs in the changing room to kiss, to hold

hands. To lean into each other, and talk tenderly of the things they"d

seen. Xander didn"t have much to model this behavior after, but Chris

did, and Xander had seen it. Chris"s parents sat together on the couch,

Andi between Jed"s legs and leaning on his chest, and watched movies,

spoke quietly about their day, told stories about the kids, Xander

included.

Later, when Chris and Penny had gone upstairs and Xander was

stretched out on the hide-a-bed (his feet fell over the edge), Xander could

hear their voices, still talking. He"d heard tense conversations, sure, but

never screaming. Never yelling. Never unkind words. Not once, in his

entire two-and-a-half years in their care, did he hear one of them call the

other a “useless cocksucker” or a “fucking twat.” To Xander, all of that

other kindness, the whispered giggles, the furtive (and mortifying)

sounds of lovemaking that came from their closed doors, came from

those stolen moments on the couch, when they got to touch.

He and Chris did their best to capture that. Without talking about it,

they used the Edwards"s as a relationship manual, and did their

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35

homework as often as time allowed. The feeling of Chris, snugged up

against his chest, talking about their calculus teacher, was all that Xander

asked of heaven—and that would hold true even if Chris didn"t make

him crack up with every story. (Apparently the poor lady was an

unintentional laugh riot. Chris swore he"d never seen a woman trip over

quite so many things in a ten-minute lecture. “And it"s not like any of

that shit
moves,
Xan. She just gets so excited about
math,
of all things,

that she forgets it"s there all over again.”)

But Xander"s body was getting “itchy.” In their junior year, he

could watch Chris undress and think of him platonically, or even not at

all. By the end of their senior year, Xander was putting off showering

with Chris when they were in a crowd.

“Dude,” he muttered unhappily, “it"s like you"re a walking boner

pill. I see you naked and my whole body goes on virgin alert!”

“Which one of us is that pinging for?” Chris asked coyly, kissing

the corner of his jaw as they sat at the employee picnic table at work.

“Because, you know, mine is going full time too!”

“Double the virgin, double the ping,” Xander said, smirking, and

then Chris kissed him until the smirk went away and only the “pinging”

survived. Then Xander"s actual timer went off, and the two of them

sighed. Time to go upstairs and wait for Jed or Andi. The boys had gone

back and forth over the wisdom of buying their own car, but at the

moment, they figured they"d use public transportation in NC and deal

with what they had in Cali. Xander appreciated Mr. and Mrs. Edwards

looking out for them, he really did, but he"d already established one

more requirement in his list of “grown-up shit” that he wanted for

himself and Christian. He had it firmly locked down in his head:

College degree: check

Well-paying job: check

House that no one could take away from him ever: check

Car: check

Safety, and no chance that anyone would scream at him or beat him

or terrify him with their neglect: check

36

Amy Lane

Christian, his and in his arms forever: Absolutely. The first and last

thing on his checklist. The absolute only thing he could never live

without.

Basketball: A requirement as well.

He figured that, since Christian and basketball went hand in hand,

that was one thing he didn"t have to worry about, right?

THEY lost their virginity to each other the summer between high school

and college, when Christian"s parents took Penny to visit Chris"s

grandparents. Chris had been planning to go with them, but then Andi"s

parents had showed up for graduation, and given him a car as a

combination graduation/eighteenth-birthday present, and then told Chris

to enjoy. Chris had taken them at their word (and had, with Xander"s

help, written the mother of all thank-you letters, because he was a good

boy and that was only good manners) and begged off the trip.

Jed and Andi had told them no parties, but they had done it

laughingly. Andi had kissed her son"s forehead as they left and said,

“You two are so good it"s almost frightening. Don"t let any of that

change, okay?”

Penny had eyed the two of them almost sadly as they left. “So,

guys, any plans?” she asked, swinging her blonde braid behind her with a

little bit of attitude. She was a very female version of Chris—small face,

dark round eyes, curling blonde hair. She"d been the perfect little sister

in the past two years—snotty, teasing, and not ever, once, showing any

affection unless it was forced out of her. The last time Xander could

remember her giving either of them a soft word was when Xander had

played ball with a fever of 104. She"d stayed up by the couch that night,

taking shifts with Chris and her parents, making sure he was going to be

okay. He remembered the delirium, and her small hand on his forehead,

and her voice, sounding sad, saying, “It"s okay, Xander. Chris is here. He

just needed to sleep for a bit, okay?”

That same sound was in her voice this time, and before her parents

knew what she was doing, she suddenly turned around from the door

where she was standing and ran into Xander"s arms. He was looking at

The Locker Room

37

her, bemusedly, when she planted a soft, mushy, inexpert kiss on his lips,

and he was still stunned as she backed away, wiping her mouth with the

back of her hand.

“Guess not,” she murmured. “Have a good weekend, Xander.

Think of me.”

And then they were gone, probably so Jed and Andi could scold her

in peace.

They waited until the rumble of the car had cleared their residential

block, and then Xander turned to Chris and said, “What was that all

abou—” when Chris was all over him. Mouth to mouth, body to body,

Xander went backward over the arm of the flowered couch and Chris

was right there, on top of him, kissing him until he couldn"t breathe and

couldn"t see and couldn"t think. He groaned, and hunger—all of that

carefully hidden hunger, all of that repressed need—roared through him,

and he went from good boy to horny man in one thrust of Chris"s tongue

into his mouth.

His cock was aching and full, and even though he was wearing

cargo shorts, it was about to burst out of them, and Chris was thrusting

his groin against his and oh
God…
it was like his body had a license to

feel,
to
react,
to
crave
and without warning, his entire body went cold,

then swept hot, and pressure built up in him, everywhere from his balls

to the back of his eyes. He wrapped his legs around the back of Chris"s

thighs, wrapped his arms around Chris"s shoulders, buried his face in

between that soft, male-scented hollow and Chris"s unruly curls and

howled, spilling in his pants after five minutes of necking on the couch.

In his arms, Chris shuddered and keened, and his groin thrust one

more time against Xander"s and the rapidly cooling spend inside

Xander"s shorts was heated up again when Christian came against him.

Xander kept his arms and legs wrapped around Chris for as long as

possible after that.

They had to move, though. The couch wasn"t comfortable, and

they"d just come inside their shorts, and there was still that horrible

paranoia about Chris"s parents forgetting something and coming back.

(The boys had circled the house six times in an effort to help them pack,

out of sheer habit. Andi was incredibly organized, but Jed had almost

38

Amy Lane

forgotten his fishing tackle, his swimming trunks, and his cell phone

with GPS. As Xander had handed that last one to him, he"d laughed and

said that there were lots of reasons that kids were a blessing, as he put

the thing in his pocket.)

Chris shifted first, rolling off of Xander and onto his knees, landing

with a thump. He buried his face into Xander"s neck again, and Xander

stroked that wildly tangling hair. (Chris was wearing it long, without any

sort of cut or product in it, just as an experiment. He looked very

seventies.)

“Wow, big guy,” Chris laughed, still breathless. “I never would

have guessed you had that in you.”

Xander blushed and struggled to sit up. “It"s been waiting a long

time. But I can"t believe we just did that in your parents" living room!

Jesus… I swore that wouldn"t happen.”

Chris offered him a hand and Xander took it, finding himself

hauled into Chris"s arms. He looked down at his friend, his brother, and

now, maybe, his lover, and was reassured when those well-dark eyes

sparkled up at him. “Maybe it"s "cause I"m legal now, right?”

Xander rolled his eyes. “So am I!”

Chris nodded seriously. “So, like, we"re grown-ups. And this is

real. And it"s not taking advantage of my parents" hospitality, it"s having

a relationship with someone in a home.”

Suddenly he couldn"t meet Chris"s eyes anymore. A relationship.

They"d been practicing a relationship, but now they were really going to

have one. The romantic kind. The kind you couldn"t take back. “Lovers

go away,” he said, rawly. Maybe it was because they"d just come in each

other"s arms, and maybe it was because Chris was expecting them to

take it even further. Maybe it was because he"d seen his mother with

man after man, and none of them kind, or the fact that every tabloid in

the grocery store was full of people bouncing off each other like rubber

dodge balls, but the thought that once Chris became a lover, he could go

away?

Terrifying. Simply terrifying.

Chris"s hand came up, cupped his jaw, pulled his face around.

“Look at me, Xander. Please?”

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39

Their eyes collided and caught, and Chris nodded, as though to

make sure he had Xander"s complete attention.
You have had my

complete attention since we met, Christian. You will always have my

complete attention.

“I"m not going anywhere, okay, Xan? You and me. We"re it. We"re

forever, okay? Like my folks. They met in high school and put each

other through college and finish each other"s sentences. It happens

sometimes. It"s real. Just believe it, okay? Believe in it, and it will be

real.”

Xander nodded, and then hugged Chris compulsively to him again.

They separated reluctantly—they had to work that night, and they had to

shower, and it was just time, but Chris gave him a quick brush of the lips

before turning and trotting upstairs to wash. Xander used the downstairs

shower, and because they were both running at the same time, the water

was lukewarm at best. Xander decided to add a really big hot water

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