The London Deception (11 page)

“And it’s a short time in the world of poor choices.”

She stopped her pacing and stood to face him, her blue gaze unwavering on his. “Is that the only reason?”

Somewhere in his soul, Finn recognized the moment for what it was.

Defining.

And he had to choose which way he was going to go with his answer.

The urge of the thief to never admit guilt rose up in his mind, but he tamped it down, his lover’s heart hoping like hell she didn’t walk away.

“No. It’s not the only reason.”

“Then why? Why do you still have it?”

“I kept it because of you.”

* * *

The light from his desk lamp lit the corner of his home office in a strange glow as Will clicked his mouse through several screens, hunting for more information on the Nefertari tomb. The thread he’d followed after asking a few questions had seemed like a solid lead, but several hours later he couldn’t find any further information.

“Bugger this.”

“Doesn’t sound very promising.” Debbie stood in the doorway, her shoulder resting against the frame.

“Hey, babe.” He couldn’t hold back the smile when she came around his desk and he lifted his face for a kiss.

“Hey, yourself.”

“I’m sorry. It’s late.” His gaze traveled to the clock on his computer screen and he winced. “I’ve been in here awhile.”

“Yep.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sadly, you’re not. Or you aren’t way deep down inside. You’re lucky I love you anyway.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. “I’m
so
lucky.”

Her lips opened under his and Will took the moment to savor his wife. He ran his hands over the hem of her nightgown before settling a hand on the soft skin of her inner thigh.

“Oh, no, you don’t.” The tease was offered with a smile, but her hands were firm on his as she stopped his fingers from traveling farther. “If we do this in here, you’ll be back to your computer when the fun’s over.”

“You wound me, woman.”

“And I want a bed.” She hopped off his lap and moved around the desk. “That’s my offer. Take it or leave it.”

He couldn’t hold back the smile. “Good thing I’m a smart man. Let me shut down out of here and I’ll be upstairs in five minutes.”

“Promise?”

He didn’t miss the skepticism in her beautiful gray eyes or the small shot of embarrassment that his past behavior had put the doubt there.

Vowing tonight wouldn’t be one of those nights, he crossed his chest with his fingers. “Hope to die.”

“See you soon.”

He gave himself the sheer joy of watching her lush backside sway as she disappeared from view, then hopped back to the message board he was hunting through. He’d post one more question, then head up to join her.

Until, of course, the words
Nefertari Tomb Curse
caught his attention.

Chapter 10

“Y
ou kept a priceless bracelet that belonged to one of England’s most beloved monarchs because of me?” A series of tremors began coursing through her body as a wave of cold washed over her and Rowan wondered how she could feel so immediately bereft of her illusions about the man standing before her. “You can’t be serious.”

“That night changed my life.”

“It changed mine, too. It doesn’t mean you needed to hang on to the Victoria bracelet.”

“You would have.”

“No.” She shook her head at the quiet accusation, her mind automatically racing back to those dark, reckless days. “No.”

No?

If it hadn’t been for her grandfather’s insistence, she’d still possess the other pieces. Would she have kept the bracelet? And would she have changed her life in the ensuing years if that evening hadn’t borne such harsh consequences?

Rowan wanted to believe she’d have made the required changes. Wanted to believe she’d see her way to healing from the brokenness inside of her.

She
had
to believe that.

“That night changed my life, too, Finn. Because I chose to change it. Thinking you died—hell, almost dying myself—went a long way toward ensuring I saw the light, but it was more than that. I
chose
to be different.”

“I chose to be different, too.”

“Did you? Can you honestly say you gave up your old ways? Because a man who feels no remorse for stealing is always able to steal again.”

She knew it was unfair to throw his words back at him from earlier that day—and also knew she was the last person who deserved to sit in judgment of him—but she couldn’t stop the horrible sense of disappointment that filled her.

Without warning, an image of Liam at dinner—his blue eyes awash in sadness over the story of her youthful choices—filled her mind’s eye. Was this what Grandfather had felt like? Was this the staggering sense of disappointment that filled a person at the evidence of a betrayal?

She had no right to judge Finn Gallagher. None.

Yet so help her if she could hold back the torrent of words that seemed insistent on falling from her lips. “Can you stand there before me and tell me you’ve stolen nothing since that night?”

“Rowan—”

“No! I want an answer. I want the truth, Finn. Not some version of it you feel answers just enough of my questions to keep me dancing on the end of your leash.”

“I haven’t done that.”

“Like hell you haven’t.”

His hands clenched and unclenched as he stared at her across the expanse of his living room, his large body set in hard lines. “What do you want me to tell you?”

“Everything.”

“I can’t do that.”

His words stung like icy needles but they were the cold truth she needed to hear. “Then we have nothing else to say. I’ll just gather my things. I’m afraid I need to withdraw from this project. I’ll talk to my sister and see that you’re reimbursed for your expenses so far.”

“You don’t need to leave. And you don’t need to leave the project.”

“Yes, I do.”

He never moved from his place in the middle of the room, but she still felt his pain, radiating off him in hard, choppy waves. The lights of one of the world’s greatest cities spread out behind him, yet all she saw was a lonely man, bereft of anything real.

She gathered her coat from the chair by the door and had her hand on the knob when he finally spoke. “I’ll tell you everything.”

The brass of the doorknob was cool to her touch, but she stopped and turned, oddly desperate to give him one more chance. “More promises of a thief?”

“No. The words of a man who has nothing left to lose.”

“Tell me.”

* * *

Finn had spent his life hearing the colloquialism that your past always catches up to you. On some level, he was glad to stop running.

And on the other hand, he’d never been so scared in his life. Not the night he snuck into an office building on his first big job and nicked a set of blueprints for a jewelry heist. Not the afternoon he signed his first deal for Gallagher International. And not the night he attempted to stanch the blood flow from a gunshot to his flesh as fear coursed through his veins that a young girl had possibly been captured by some of London’s most depraved thieves.

“I told you how I got into the business.”

“Yes.” She’d crossed back to the couch and taken a seat, but she still held her coat in her hands, as if waiting for the opportune moment to run.

“Well, going straight doesn’t mean everyone you did crooked business with wants you out of the game.”

“And?”

“And I’ve kept up some side jobs along the way. Fewer and fewer as the years have gone by, but I still do the occasional job.”

Where he expected some verdict in her gaze—or even some clue to what she was thinking—he saw nothing. Instead, she just sat there, quietly waiting for him to continue.

“It’s no big deal. Or at least I keep telling myself it’s no big deal, but it is.”

He felt the words in a way he never had before. And in that moment he felt naked under Rowan Steele’s steady gaze.

Through the years he’d felt very little remorse for his choices, but staring at the proof that you could make something more of your life, Finn knew a sense of shame.

“Why?”

He shrugged before taking a seat next to her. “Why not? You called it an addiction earlier and it’s an apt term. I know what it is. What the beast that claws at your back feels like and thinks like and sounds like when it whispers in your ear.”

“What sort of jobs do you take?”

“Ones that don’t interfere with my legitimate work. I meant what I said. Gallagher International has been more successful than my wildest dreams, and the work I do keeps me incredibly busy. But every six months or so...the beast wants out.”

“Do you have any interest in making different choices?”

“Hell yes. What do you think I’m trying to tell you?”

“What I want to hear, most likely.”

“That’s not fair.”

She reached for her glass of wine, but paused before bringing it to her lips. “What is fair, then?”

“Let me prove to you I want to be different. That I can be different.”

“But how can you be different if you keep the bracelet?”

“Because of you.”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, but that’s not good enough.”

“Why not?”

“You need to want it for yourself. You need to feel that, way down deep inside. Someone else can’t do that for you.”

The thought was so simple—profound, really—yet it wasn’t the whole story. She made him want to make better choices. By her example and by the simple vibrancy that surrounded her like a bright cloak.

“I want to change my life.
You
make me want to change my life. Why is that so hard to believe? And what could possibly be wrong with that?” He reached for her, the need to touch her boiling over to the flash point.

Her coat still sat heavy in her lap, her hands folded neatly on top of it. He covered her hands with one of his own, entwining his fingers with hers, as he lifted his other hand to her cheek. “Rowan.”

Her name hovered between them a fraction of a second before he leaned in and captured her lips with his. As a man used to taking what he wanted, the realization she wasn’t a prize to be won struck him as the strangest sort of irony.

But when her mouth opened under his, he knew the sweetest victory.

Desire curled in his belly on swift wings as one kiss flowed into the next. The raw emotion of the past few days blended with the very real truth of the moment.

For the first time in his life, he was exposed. The years he’d spent thieving had finally been shared with another person. The lies he’d told himself and others had been confessed to another soul. The sins he carried had been unburdened on another.

Was it a fair burden to place on her?

He tried to concentrate on that—wanted to pull back and give her space—but the raging need for her simply wouldn’t be sated. And then a light moan rose up in her throat as she tilted her head back, allowing him deeper access, and he was lost.

Finn took full advantage of the invitation, pulling her closer as she wrapped her arms around his waist. Their erotic play of tongues tortured his already-heated body, but he wouldn’t stop.

Couldn’t stop.

She tasted like the wine, only better. Lush and ripe, just like the nickname he’d teased her with.

“Peach.” He whispered that single word against her lips. Felt hers smile against his before she pulled back.

“I didn’t understand that at the time. Not fully. But I sensed it was just the slightest bit naughty.”

“I meant it as a compliment.”

Her eyebrows rose over that vivid blue. “Right.”

“Yes, actually. I was nineteen at the time. Nineteen-year-old boys on the cusp of manhood aren’t known for their romantic tongues. Thirty-one-year-old men, on the other hand...” He couldn’t resist leaning forward and nipping her lips for another kiss.

“Sweet words, but they don’t mean much.”

Her statement was delivered in a breezy tone, but he refused to leave them lie. “They do mean something to me. You mean something to me, Rowan.”

She laid a hand on his chest. “This will sound harsh, but despite my better judgment, you mean something to me, too.”

“So we see where it goes.”

“No, Finn. We can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

“Neither of us can afford distractions. I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that you mean what you say, but it doesn’t change our working relationship. The dig in Egypt requires our entire focus.”

She struggled forward from the depths of the couch cushion, but stopped when he laid a gentle hand on her arm. “The trip’s important. Incredibly important, but we can both do Egypt with our eyes closed. What else is this about?”

She didn’t remove her arm, but neither did she sugarcoat her words. “Kissing you. Wanting to do even more. None of it changes the fact we’re still on opposite sides of a very large disagreement, Finn.”

“The bracelet?”

“Yes. You can’t keep it. And as long as you have it in your possession, you can’t have me.”

The pronouncement was bold—he’d have expected no less from her—but it still stung. She was asking him to choose. And while he had no problem seeing his future on the up-and-up, he wasn’t quite ready to let go of his past.

Nor was he crazy about an ultimatum.

“I’ve told you my reasons for retaining the bracelet.”

“And I’ve told you mine for why you need to relinquish the piece.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Actually, it is.” She stood once more, the coat in her hands. “I need to leave.”

“I’ll see you back to the hotel.”

“I can take a cab back.”

“I’ll see you back. Just let me alert my driver.”

Despite her protests, he did see her back to the hotel via the car he kept at the ready at all times. It was only a long while later, as he lay in his bed staring out the windows of his room, imagining the feel of her in his arms, that he understood why she’d left.

He hadn’t put her first.

And no matter how much he wanted to make different choices for the future, he wasn’t willing to atone for his past.

* * *

Rowan slugged down her second cup of coffee as she walked up the steps of the Underground station near the Shard. While the caffeine was a daily requirement for functionality, today her body needed it the same way she needed air.

She hadn’t slept and couldn’t get her mind to settle. She jumped from topic to topic like a deranged jackrabbit—Finn’s desire to go straight, his reticence to give up the bracelet and the devastating reaction she had to him—almost as if the thoughts were on a loop. And each time she jumped to the next topic, she thought of new questions, all without answers.

At its core, though, was one simple question with no clear answer as to how she should proceed.

She was attracted to him.

Leaving his apartment the night before instead of curling up in his arms was one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do. And she now faced three weeks with him in the close confines of a dig site.

How was she going to keep this mindless attraction at bay? Especially when way down deep inside, she knew she didn’t want to.

The demands of her body had begun to take over reasonable, rational thought, their only goal to be sated.

It was a humbling thought, really. Here she was, having spent years subjugating her irrational needs with an iron fist, and the same man who’d started her down that path was the one who made her want to leap off it.

The elevator ride to his office was quick, the breathtaking views of London as gorgeous as the day before. She nearly missed the buzzing of her mobile she was so enamored of her surroundings. She hit the answer button as a photo of Will flashed across the face of her phone.

“Hey there.”

“Hey, yourself. I think I’ve got big news.”

“You sound like you haven’t slept.”

“I haven’t.”

She let out a long, low whistle as the elevator doors swished open on the lobby of Gallagher International. “Debbie is going to hunt me down and kill me.”

“Yeah, well, she’s after me first. I blew off a late-night sex session after the kids fell asleep.”

Finn’s administrative assistant saw her from across the office and headed her way to let her through the door. “Will!”

“I caught a lead.”

“You need to be getting caught on your wife.”

“I know, I know.”

Rowan shook her head, the irony of the moment not lost on her. She got all the archaeology she wanted and was fighting the urge to have what she was quite sure would be mind-blowing sex with Finn. Will got all the sex he wanted and all he seemed to focus on was archaeology.

As her grandmother had admonished her on more than one occasion, we always want what we can’t have.

Celeste waved her through the glass doors, and Rowan pointed toward the phone and mouthed an
I’m sorry
before following her to Finn’s office. An inconvenient shot of attraction wrapped around her as she caught sight of him leaning forward over his desk, his fingers flying over the keyboard of his laptop.