The Loneliest Alpha (The MacKellen Alphas) (6 page)

She
was stuck in this room and he was coming for her.

CHAPTER 4

The
hot water soothed his sore body but did nothing to ease the hollow ache in his
heart.

Little
Emma was dead. A family was devastated.

News
would spread fast in the pack. By tomorrow everyone will know. Gavin toweled
off and dressed, his movements slow like an old man’s. On top of that he had to
deal with the girls the alpha’s sent him. All he wanted to do right now was
climb into bed and maybe forget for a while, if he could even get to sleep that
is.

But
she was down at the end of the hall. How was she today? Maybe he needed to get
her a TV in there. That shitty old guest room didn’t even have a closet. A
flush of embarrassment burned his face. He hadn’t updated his own house, never
saw need to. Now he wished he had. She should be in something pretty like herself.
Not his old shit house. He liked its old charm and aged beauty, but the pipes
didn’t work like they used to and it needed a little work. Okay, a lot of work.
He’d never bothered fixing things he could fix because he lived alone for all
these years.

Would
she still be awake? Hell, he knew he would be if their roles were reversed. He
took a seat on his bed, sighing heavily.

He’d
planned to get this done tonight. To go meet with all the girls and start
eliminating ones he knew wouldn’t match with at all. Fuck, but he was bone
tired. He’d have to do it tomorrow.

He
stood and pulled on a shirt. He never slept in one, but he wanted something else
more than sleep right now.

Fuck,
don’t do it, Gavin.

He
scrubbed a coarse hand over his face, scratched the back of his head. Fuck.

I’m
gonna do it.

Had
to. Had to see her. No, no, couldn’t see her. She’d see his face. He’d have to
get her into the study that he and Will had darkened just for these meetings.
Couldn’t risk doing that by himself, she’d see him.

He
was a sick bastard for not wanting her to see his face. He knew what would
happen then. She’d run screaming and crying. She’d beg to go back to her alpha
and plead with him not to send her back to Gavin. God, he didn’t think he could
stand it. That’s why he had to things this way. He had to get to know her
first. Had to try to show her his good qualities.

And
what were they?
said
a bitter voice.

He
had to have some, but he couldn’t think of any. He needed hope to help him get
through this. Hope and some faith. He needed to get to know these ladies first,
let them get to know him, then he’d show them his face.

Show
her what she’d have to look at for the rest of her life.

Shaking
his head, he stood. He shouldn’t do it, but damn, after the day he had, he
craved a little pretty. Something nice and kind of sweet. She had all that in
her. He could see it in her eyes. But there was so much more too. Strength and
guts. Yeah, he appreciated that.

He
stood in front of her door though he didn’t remember taking himself there. With
a long day on his shoulders and not much food in him, he really wasn’t in the
right place to do this.

Fuck.
He was still gonna do it.

He
knocked.

He
didn’t hear any shuffling, any gasps of surprise, nothing. But she was in
there. He didn’t know how to explain it, he just knew. This meant she’d heard
him coming and had been waiting. Great. She probably thought he was a creep.

His
fist was raised to knock again when she spoke. “What do you want?” Her voice
was strong and hard.

He
grimaced and took a step back, then another until he leaned against the hallway
wall. What did he say now? Hello, how are you? He had the girl locked in a room
she sure as shit didn’t want to be in. It’s not like she was going to warm to
him any time quick, if at all.

Quiet
footsteps crept toward the door. He could almost imagine her putting her ear to
it and listening.

He
cleared his throat again. Didn’t make much of a difference; his voice still
sounded like he’d had a truck run over his throat. “Just wanted to talk.”

He
stared at the white, chipped door. The wood was sturdy, he knew, it had come
with the house and never been replaced. This was almost easier than looking at
her. She distracted him, made longings surge in his chest with hope. Hopes of
things he could never have.

Then
why are you even trying?

He
pushed the thought away, not wanting to think about it.

“I
don’t want to talk to you. Go away.”

Sighing,
he closed his eyes. Angry or not, he liked the sound of her voice. So feminine
and pretty. Not like his. She wasn’t anything like him. Maybe that’s what he
liked about her.

“A little
girl was murdered. She was found this morning.” The words started coming out.
He hadn’t planned on saying them. But the dark hallway and old white door
towering before him almost made it seem like a confession. Like he could let
out all his fears and sins to this door and his soul would be cleansed.

“What?”
she asked, her voice much softer now.

“Emma
Linchman. Good girl. Her parents weren’t so good to her but they loved her
anyway, I suppose. She was found beaten to death. She was a kid.”

A
soft sigh sounded, traveling through the door to his ears. The muscles in his
back relaxed at the sound. “How old was she?”

“Only
twelve. Someone beat her, beat her little head in. I keep wonderin’ if I could have
done something.”

A
moment of silence passed. “What would you have done?”

Air
gushed from his clenched lips. “Put on extra guards, guarded her myself. No one
would have touched her.”

“You
can’t predict when someone’s going to get hurt.”

“It
happened on my watch.”

He
heard her move, sounded like she sat against the wall. “What happens next? Do
you know who did it?”

“No,
not yet. My brother Hart’s a cop, works with the humans. He’s going to do an
investigation privately with some of his cop friends. He’ll figure out who did
it. Then it’ll be pack justice.”

“Good,”
she said.

“Yeah,”
he agreed.

They
fell into silence again. A calming silence that relaxed his muscles and brought
the heavy blanket of drowsiness that much closer.

“What
do you do?”

The
gently whispered question teased his ears. His eyes popped open. She wanted to
know about him?

“Build
houses for the pack, some handy work too, things like that.”

“Oh,
I figured as much.”

His
brow raised at that and even he took a look around his rundown house. It had
character but that was about all it had. “How so?”

“Just
did. How’s Sarah?”

His
mind raced to figure who Sarah was since the name didn’t ring a bell. Then it
clicked. That was the other girl Alpha Josiah from Arizona sent up. How was
she? He had no clue but she was safe at his sister’s house. “She’s safe,
comfortable.”

“Where
is she?” she asked, her voice getting stern.

He
sighed; it sounded like their nice playtime was over. “She’s at Hanna’s house.”

He
heard her head thump against the wall. “Can I ask you something?”

His
stomach muscles tensed. Nerves. God, she made him nervous and they weren’t even
having a normal conversation, face-to-face. It felt like being a kid again and
having the attention of the pretty girl in class. His palms sweated.

“Yeah?”
Anything, he wanted to say, you can ask me anything.

“Why
won’t you let me see your face?”

Cold
icy fingers settled over his heart. He stood, his lips heavy and pulling down
into a deep frown. “I already told you.” That’s it. Their little happy chat was
over. He started away. He didn’t much feel like repeating the words, reminding
her of what an ugly bastard he was. Not even for her.

Her
voice stopped him in his tracks. “I mean, I know what you said before but…I
guess I’d just rather see who I was talking to than talking to a door or a dark
shadow.”

For a
moment he considered unlocking that door and stepping into the room with all
the lights on. Just letting her see his face and know what she was getting
into. His fingers twitched and his chest ached with each breath.

He
stalked to the door and grabbed the door handle. He could do it right now. Get
it over with. Show her what he looked like. Then he could see the disgust and
shock on her face and be over with it. He could send her packing the next
morning.

But,
no, he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t even bring himself to unlock the door. He
backed up, sweat dripping down his back and his hands shaking. He didn’t want
to ruin it. He didn’t want to lose her before he knew her. Not yet.

He
wanted that chance, no matter how impossible it was. He wanted the hope that if
he made her fall in love with him then it wouldn’t matter how busted his face
looked because she wouldn’t care. She could love him anyway.

With
a groan, he rubbed the throbbing ache over his heart. God, he craved it so
badly his chest hurt.

“Sorry,
Alicia. I can’t do that.”

He
started walking away when her fist banged against the door. “Don’t leave me in
here, Gavin MacKellen! Let me go!” The door shook and rattled as she thumped
it.

He
braced himself. It took every ounce of willpower inside him not to go to her
and free her like she asked. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Are
you a monster? A freak? What the hell is wrong with you? Just let me out of
here!”

Her
screams beat against his retreating back. He closed himself in his bedroom,
breaths coming hard and fast. He had to sit down and get control of himself. When
she broke down into tears, he had to force himself to leave the house. The
sound tore him apart from the inside out. It made him want to run back to her
room and show her everything, to let her see the monster he was, and then kiss
her anyway.

But
she’ll never kiss you.

Because
she was right. He was a freak.

CHAPTER 5

Alicia
stared out the window the next morning as Gavin left in his truck. She didn’t
have to wait long until the soft purr of a car pulled up.

Good,
she thought, at least one of his sisters will be here.

Alicia
went back to the bed and sat, calm for what she was going to do next.

She’d
made her decision last night, had carefully planned it. Today she was getting
out of here.

It
wouldn’t be easy. There would be guards to contend with among other variables
she couldn’t begin to suspect, but she’d do it. She had determination and bit
of crazy on her side to guide her.

After
last night, she couldn’t stay here. That strange conversation with Gavin had
stuck with her all night long. She’d hardly slept and when she did her dreams
were filled with nightmares of running and being caught. She woke up with her
heart racing and breathing fast.

What
bothered her more than the bad dreams was the fact that she’d broken down and
cried. All of her frustrations since Josiah sent her here had come flooding out
and nothing she could do would stop it. Worse, she’d enjoyed, to an extent, her
conversation with Gavin. She couldn’t even think of him as ‘the strange alpha’
anymore. He had a name, though no face, a voice, and a personality that was
coming through in his words.

She
took him to be a kind, gentle man that cared much for his pack. Yet he wasn’t a
pushover. The fact that he seemed to dislike that he had her here, yet refused
to let her go attested to that. He also had a story and she’d bet it was a good
one; however, she didn’t plan to stick around to find out.

The
front door opened and banged closed. Alicia could hear almost everything in
this house since it was so old. After some banging around in the kitchen, she
finally heard soft footfalls coming up the rickety staircase. Alicia’s body
tightened with anticipation.

It
had to be either Hanna or Kaity since he had only girls coming to check in on
her. She hoped it was Kaity; she was smaller. That would make what she was
about to do much easier.

The
door handle jiggled as someone pushed in the key. “How you doin’ in there?”

Alicia
stood, her muscles taut. Excitement made the blood rush in her veins like a
jolt of pure adrenaline. This was it. It was Kaity. “Good, good. Real hungry
this morning.”

“Yeah,
I bet.”

Downstairs,
the front door opened and slammed closed. A voice hollered up. “Kaity, you in
here?”

Alicia
froze. Shit. That was Will’s voice.
Please go away
, she begged silently.