The Lonely Hearts Club (28 page)

Liz writhed in Reilly’s lap, the ache in her breasts spreading lower. She needed more. She needed Reilly closer, and she kissed her harder, pulling Reilly’s tongue into her mouth. She sucked on it and Reilly’s hips jerked under her ass. Reilly’s thumb and forefinger closed on her nipple and rolled lightly. Liz whimpered and tugged Reilly’s polo shirt from her jeans. She worked her hand underneath and found Reilly’s small, firm breasts. When she mimicked Reilly’s motions, Reilly shuddered.

“Lie down on top of me,” Reilly urged, turning sideways on the seat with her back propped against the iron railing.

“Unbutton my blouse.” Liz shifted until she had one leg between Reilly’s. She pressed her center against Reilly’s tight thigh, knowing she was wet, not caring if she soaked through her shorts. She reached behind her and released her bra. When Reilly got her last button open, her breasts spilled out. Immediately, Reilly covered both of them with her hands. Liz pushed Reilly’s shirt up and feathered her fingers over the tight pink nipples. Reilly arched into her hands.

“Oh look at you,” Liz whispered. “So beautiful.” She raised her gaze to Reilly’s face and found Reilly staring at her, her eyes fathomless. “What?”

“Ground rules.” Reilly hooked her calf behind Liz’s and tightened her thighs, pressing hard against Liz’s leg. “While I can still think.”

Liz looked down at Reilly’s hands inside her blouse and hers on Reilly’s breasts. “We might be too late.”

“Almost.”

“Tell me.” Liz looked around at the nearby buildings. The sun had gone down without her noticing it, and lights had come on in some of the apartments. They were shrouded in near darkness now. She shrugged out of her blouse and dropped it along with her bra on the grillwork landing. Then she stretched out on top of Reilly, curling one arm behind Reilly’s neck. She caressed Reilly’s breasts. “What rules?”

“No touching below the waist,” Reilly whispered, running both hands up and down Liz’s back.

“The way I feel,” Liz murmured, nibbling along the edge of Reilly’s jaw, “that might not matter.”

“You want to stop?”

“Oh no.” Liz kissed her again, slowly and deeply, until Reilly trembled beneath her. “I want to make out until curfew.”

“Is someone waiting up for you?”

Liz nipped at Reilly’s chin. “Not a soul.”

“Good. I’m not wearing a watch.”

*

Bren checked the time on the wall clock opposite her desk. Nine p.m. She wondered if Jae was already at the Blue Diamond. She wondered if she performed every night. She wondered if she had another job. If she had a lover. If she had many lovers.

She booted up her computer, opened Melanie’s email program, and scanned the messages.

I’m sorry.

She clicked open the message.

I should have waited to come again, but I couldn’t stop. Will you forgive me?

Bren scrolled down the list. A few hours later, another message.
I’m sorry. Will you let me apologize in person?

The next read,
Please don’t go
.
Let me show you I’m sorry.

As she read, another message arrived.
I can still feel the heat of your body against the insides of my thighs, on my nipples. When I touch myself, I feel your breath on my neck. I taste you. I won’t come again until you tell me to. Please.

Jae’s excitement was palpable. Bren’s body clamored for attention, and she knew that Jae must need to come just as badly. She thought about how hard it would be for Jae not to climax on stage tonight, and the idea of her struggling not to give in made Bren even more excited. She needed to come right now, but she would deny herself as long as she denied Jae.

She typed quickly.

Tonight when you’re on stage, I want you to imagine the hands touching you are mine. I’ll be watching. You do not have permission to come.

As soon as she pushed send, she reached for her cell phone and pushed a number on speed dial. When Candace answered, Bren said, “I didn’t expect you to be home on a Saturday night.”

“Did you call just to make me cranky?” Candace replied.

“No,” Bren laughed. “Is it still my birthday weekend?”

“What do you need? Chocolate cake? A bottle of wine? I’m at your service.”

“I need a date.”

“Age, physical description, sexual proclivities?”

“I was thinking of you.”

Silence.

“I don’t want you to sleep with me, Candace,” Bren said, “just keep me company.”

“Damn. And now I’m horny.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Where are we going?”

“The Blue Diamond.”

“That works for me. Maybe tonight I’ll find someone I feel like fucking when I get her home.”

“I’ll call Liz,” Bren said.

“Okay. What time do you want me to pick you up?”

“Uh—twenty minutes?”

“That gives me five minutes to dress, darling.”

“Skip underwear.”

“I always do.”

“So,” Candace said as she pulled into the parking lot at the Blue Diamond, “what prompted this spur of the moment visit?”

“I want to see Jae again,” Bren answered.

Candace turned off the ignition and regarded Bren intently. The club, looking more like a chop shop than a nightclub, crouched on a narrow strip of land between the I-95 bypass and the Delaware River, surrounded by convenience stores and empty factory buildings with boarded up windows. The lot was nearly filled with an odd assortment of vehicles—dusty pickup trucks with oversized wheels, shiny high-end luxury sedans, and a stretch Humvee limo. In the hazy yellow glow from the security lights hanging from the corners of the building, Candace’s face looked eerily unfamiliar.

“What?” Bren asked, her voice echoing hollowly inside the car.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“What am I doing?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, this is not a club where nice girls go to find dates.”

“I already have a date.”

“You don’t know her,” Candace pointed out.

Bren smiled, surprised at Candace’s concern. “You don’t know a lot of the women you bring home.”

“That’s true, but I have a lot more experience at it than you do.”

“I’m not as naïve as you think.”

“I’m beginning to get that you’re a lot more of a lot of things than I thought.”

“Thank you.”

“I can still worry.”

“I’m not going home with her,” Bren said. “I came to see how well she follows instructions.”

“She knows you’re coming?”

“No, and I don’t want her to see us.”

“Okay,” Candace said slowly. “I think I might like this game.”

Bren leaned over and kissed Candace’s cheek. “I bet you would.”

“Is it too late for you to play it with me?”

Laughing, Bren pushed her door open. “Way too late.”

“Damn. And now I’m
really
horny.”

*

Liz sighed and burrowed into the curve of Reilly’s neck. Reilly stroked her hair and adjusted the blouse she had draped over Liz’s bare back to keep her warm.

“Mmm,” Liz murmured. “You smell good.”

“Thank you.” Smiling, Reilly kissed Liz’s temple.

Liz responded by snugging her leg more firmly into Reilly’s crotch. Reilly’s breath caught at the unexpected pressure. Her body had never cooled below simmer, and it wouldn’t take much to bring her back up to a boil.

“What?” Liz asked drowsily.

“Nothing. Go back to sleep.”

Liz raised her head and looked around. It was completely dark except for the candle that flickered and flared a few feet away “We’re still in the backseat of the car.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I fell asleep, didn’t I?”

“Uh-huh.”

Liz replayed the last few things she remembered, and sat up abruptly. “Oh my God. I can’t believe I did that. I am so sorry.”

Reilly shifted her legs, one of which was completely numb from the weight of Liz lying on her for the last hour. She didn’t care. Even if gangrene had set in and her leg had dropped off, she wouldn’t have given up a second of holding Liz in her arms. She’d had sex a few times in the last several years, usually with women she knew from work who’d asked her out, and she had finally given in after running out of polite ways to say no. Sometimes she was lonely, and she surrendered to the need to hear someone, even a stranger, cry out in pleasure. But she rarely felt less lonely after a night of false intimacy. In fact, she had rarely felt lonelier than when waking up with a woman she didn’t really know in her arms.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” Reilly said, taking Liz’s hand. “I’ve had a great night.”

Liz clasped Reilly’s hand in both of hers. With her head down, her hair covered most of her face and Reilly couldn’t make out her expression. “I wasn’t talking about just falling asleep.”

“I know what you’re talking about. You’re amazing.”

“I’ve never done that before,” Liz said in a low voice. “I didn’t even know I could.”

“Your body is changing.” Reilly held up Liz’s blouse, which had slid off when Liz bolted up. “You should put this on. The temperature’s finally dropped a little bit. Should I get you a sweatshirt?”

“Did you know?” Liz took the blouse but didn’t put it on. “That I…”

“That you came while we were kissing?”

Liz nodded mutely.

“Yes.” Reilly leaned over and kissed her softly. “I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything sexier in my life.”

Liz pressed her forehead to Reilly’s shoulder. “God, I’m embarrassed.”

“Please don’t be. You were so beautiful.”

“I couldn’t help it—the way you kiss me. The way you touch my breasts.” Liz traced Reilly’s mouth with her thumb. “I felt you inside me. Everywhere.”

Reilly shuddered. She wanted Liz again. She wanted to hear her soft, broken cries of pleasure and feel her tremble. She wanted the exquisite pleasure of Liz’s fingers digging into her shoulders as she arched into her. She wanted that, all of that, and so very much more. Swiftly, she pulled away and kneeled on the iron fire escape in front of Liz. She wrapped her arms around Liz’s waist and rested her cheek against Liz’s stomach just above the top of her shorts. “While you were sleeping, I put my hand right here. I imagined I could feel a heartbeat beneath my fingers. Any day now, you’ll feel movement.”

Liz stroked Reilly’s hair. “You’re the first one to touch me there.”

Reilly closed her eyes and pressed her face harder to Liz’s warm flesh. She and Annie had never made love while Annie was pregnant. She knew that, because they hadn’t made love for almost four months before Annie died. They had been fighting almost constantly, and she thought then it was because the demands of her residency left her absent, physically and emotionally, too much of the time. Now she wondered if it hadn’t been because of the secret Annie was keeping. She wondered if she would have known, if she would have noticed any difference in Annie’s body. She wondered now if she had really known Annie very well at all.

“I feel honored,” Reilly said.

Liz laughed and caressed Reilly’s cheek. “Believe me, there may be something miraculous going on inside me, but I am just an ordinary woman.”

“You’re shivering.” Reilly stood and took Liz’s hand. “Come inside.”

Reilly climbed over the window sill and waited to help Liz. Then she pulled a T-shirt from her dresser drawer and held it out. “Here—this will be a little warmer than that blouse.”

While Liz shrugged into the T-shirt and dropped her blouse on the dresser, Reilly walked to the bed, turned on the small reading lamp on the bedside table, and stretched out on top of the covers. When she held out her hand, Liz gripped it and lay down facing her.

“Warm enough?” Reilly asked.

“Perfect.”

Reilly put her arm around Liz’s waist and pulled her closer until their bodies just touched. “You’re not ordinary. You’re brave and strong, and so sexy I’m just about crazy from wanting you all the time.”

“And I left you high and dry out there, didn’t I,” Liz said. “I still can’t believe I did that.”

“I told you, you’re amazing. The way I felt when I realized what was happening—believe me, that was better than an orgasm.”

Liz laughed. “Oh, you really are in a bad way.”

“Maybe. But I’m not complaining.”

Liz skimmed her hand under the back of Reilly’s polo shirt, pressed against her, and kissed her. “I wanted to go to bed with you when we came up here tonight. All the way to bed—no clothes, no barriers, no doubts.”

“But?”