The Long Way Home (23 page)

The happy couple walked down the aisle and the Texans started
to hoot and holler. The groomsmen each took their model on their arm and
followed behind them. Mike winked at me as he made his way out of the chapel.

Brandi came over, "Is she pregnant?"

I scowled as we walked out of the chapel together, "I
don’t know, but you should probably be the last person on earth to judge
her."

Her eyes narrowed, "Who told you?"

I wrinkled my nose, "How could you?"

She shrugged, "I couldn’t bear the thought of Shawn's
wimpy DNA, okay? If I have a son, which I am having a son, I want a
warrior."

I sighed, "Oh my God, Bran. What the fuck?"

"Don't say fuck in church."

I looked down at her belly and tried hard to hide my rage,
"You are despicable."

She sneered, "Shawn has his female friends and I have my
male friends, and we don’t question each other. As long as the house is clean
and the dinner is ordered and the babies are made, I'm free to be me."

I shook my head, "What about Will?"

She laughed softly, "J.D., be serious. No one like him
would ever be with someone like me."

"You sent me here to be with Mike."

She gave me a
patronizingly-loving
look, "You had already screwed yourself. That ship had sailed. Dad may not
talk to me, but honestly, I'm a victim of your circumstances to the rest of
society."

My mouth hung open.

She lifted a
perfectly-manicured
finger up and closed my jaw, "I love you and I want you to be happy. You
have never been one of us. Good society has never suited you, J.D. Your name
alone says it all. Jacqueline Croix is a beautiful name and you go by J.D. and
Jack. You hate your name, first and last. You hate the fact we have arranged
marriages and planned lives. I don’t. I have always enjoyed my life. I loved my
place in the world. I don’t need to see the art and buildings and the vineyards
of the world. I don’t give a shit about some priest who built this dumpy, old
castle. It doesn’t even have turrets so he didn’t do a great job." She
squeezed my arms, "I love you the way you are.
Quirky
and complex.
I'm a simple person, lots of money, lots of fineries, lots
of galas and events. That’s all it takes to make me happy. You have never been
that girl."

I felt sickened, and yet thrilled, by her weird and insulting
speech. I nodded, "Thank you."

She hugged me, "I love you as J.D. and Jack. The girl
who can't just drink the wine
;
she has to know how
it's made, how old the fucking vineyard is, and which monk made it first. No
one actually cares about that."

My brain made a funny remark in my head. That wasn’t entirely
true. There was someone who cared about that. He was standing under a lemon
tree, watching me.

I smiled at him.

"That is trouble, by the way. Is he a model?"

I laughed, "No. He's a hockey player. He plays in Boston
too."

"Oh shit, is that the Lucian guy that every girl on the
East Coast is in love with?"

I nodded, "Probably."

"Yeah, his family is crazy rich.
Old
money too.
Ambassadors, bankers, and oil money.
He is loaded. Too bad he wasn’t the one you picked. Dad never would have had a
problem with him."

I glared at her, "I need to get a drink." My head
was spinning. I could still feel my inner thighs begging for Mike to fuck me if
I squeezed my legs tight enough, but the dark-green eyes under the lemon tree
were taunting me.

"Get me one."

I looked back at her, "Seriously?"

She shrugged, "A little bit doesn’t hurt."

I sighed and walked to the bar inside.

I sat at the old bar, running my fingers over the
ornately-carved
wood. The bartender interrupted my
appreciation, "Can I get you something?"

I smiled, without looking at him, "Red wines, what do
you have?"

The list was slid in front of my face. I glanced at it and
pointed instantly at the
Valpolicella
.

"You look like you could use a goblet of wine."

I lifted my face to see Luce behind the bar, "What are
you doing?"

He shrugged, "I'm getting the lady wine." He
reached for the bottle I had selected and opened it. Watching his hands working
the corkscrew was sexy. He didn't notice my mouth breathing and eye fucking. He
was too busy telling me the history of the bottle he was opening.

"The region was known for its method of using dried or
partially-dried grape skins in the process. This bottle, in particular, is a
Superiore
because of the dried skins. The fermentation of
the skin is part of the flavor in the wine. It gives it that sour-cherry flavor
the wine is known for. Because the region is more North and cooler, the grapes
typically are lighter in flavor. The fermented skins make the robust flavors
come to life." He passed it through an aerator and slid a massive crystal
goblet in front of my face.

I leaned forward, smelling the cherry of the wine and sighed.
He poured himself a glass and picked mine up. He walked out behind the bar and
through the doors to the veranda out back. He sat us down at one of the lit
tents overlooking Rome.

"Imagine this was your view every day."

I sat across from him, "Would you ever leave the
house?"

He shook his head, "The house yes, the yard maybe no. I
love this villa."

The sun was setting and the tents were lit and spread across
the backyard in amongst the hanging garden. The view of Rome was incredible. The
warm air and the smell of my wine and Luce's subtle cologne, was as if my wish
list had been granted. Every item was ticked off.

Of course the aching guilt in my stomach was something I
hadn’t asked for. I felt sick, knowing I had nearly slept with Mike. That was
bothering me more than anything. I had misled him. I hated that truth as I
faced it.

Luce never
spoke,
he sipped his wine
and looked at the valley below us.

My heart was racing. Not from the mistakes I was making, but
from the experience I was having. I felt more alive in that moment than I ever
had.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, "Can you
imagine this in the 1700s. The villa, the view, the vino, and the food?"

I could hear the peaceful smile upon his lips when he spoke,
"I can. I can see all of it. It’s
like
a Henry
James novel or Jane Austen."

I opened an eye, "You read?"

He laughed, "I was forced to in the beginning, for
school. But as I got older, I learned to love reading. I read science fiction
and fantasy, like
The
Lord of the Rings
and
Stephen King's
The
Dark Tower
s
eries. I never appreciated Austen until the
remake of
Pride
and Prejudice
. I
saw it with a girlfriend. She forced me to go, and honestly, I only agreed
because the blonde from James Bond,
Die Another Day
, was in it. She is gorgeous, and of course,
Keira
Knightly. That changed it for me. The music was a
perfect
match,
Dario
Marianelli
was the composer who did
V for Vendetta
. That's probably one of my favorite movies."

I shook my head, "I've never seen it. I loved the music
in
Pride
and Prejudice
though. I loved the scene where she was walking in the morning, in the mist and
he was there."

He nodded, "Yes, exceptional score for certain."

I was no longer at a wedding in Italy. I was on a hillside
with a guy who felt like he challenged me and made me think about things.

I panicked, standing up abruptly, "I should go find
Brandi. Thank you for the glass of wine."

He looked confused but nodded, "See you at dinner."

But he didn’t. No one did. I ran to my room, packed my bag
and called for a car.

A knock at the door startled me as I finished grabbing
everything. I opened it to find Mike, looking feisty.

"What is going on in there?"

I frowned, "What do you mean?"

He pushed past me, "Shit, I thought I'd find Luce in here,
and instead, I find something much worse. You're leaving?"

I nodded, "I am leaving before I make a fool of myself.
I'm not ready for this, for us. I don’t even understand why I was
invited."

He sighed, closing the door and pulling me into him.
"Jack, don't piss me off tonight, please. We need to finish what almost
happened earlier."

I shoved him back, "No, we don’t. We have done that half
a dozen times. We have never needed to talk about it. I actually don’t want to
talk about it at all."

He pulled me into him harder, “We never actually did it
though.” I closed my eyes and smelled him. He was home and safety and strength,
but I needed to find those things on my own. I hugged tightly to him, "I
love you."

"No, you love torturing me."

I nodded, "I do."

He pulled me back and I could see it. I was hurting him. I
hated that.
He faked a smile
,
"Don’t
go."

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him softly, "I love
you, forever and always. You're my best friend, Mike."

He winced, "Best friend? Is there something going on
with you and Luce?"

I shook my head, "He's a friend. He was a friend when I
needed one and that is all." His eyes narrowed, but I put my finger to his
lips and smiled, "Whatever really mean, hateful thing you're about to
say—don’t. Just stop. You always say the shittiest stuff when you don't
get your own way. I'm going back to Greece to finish my two months of work at
the vineyard. I will see you in May in Boston or New York."

I held my pinkie out. He rolled his eyes and wrapped his
massive pinkie around mine and shook them.

I winked, "Thanks for the almost booty call."

He chuckled, "I hate you sometimes."

I nodded, "I know. Make sure my sister doesn’t break
your dear friend's heart. He has no idea what he's in for and he is awfully
sweet."

He shook his head, "Not my problem."

I slapped his chest, "See you later." I turned and
walked out into the hallway—the most beautiful hallway I had ever seen.

The cab ride back to the room I’d rented was refreshingly
free. I hadn’t a single worry in the world. I had run away from them both. Luce
was a safe temptation and Mike was easily distracted. Neither
were a real threat
to my discovering myself, not yet.

The next morning, I was just finished packing up my room in
Rome, when there was a knock at the door. I pulled the towel off my head and
opened it, instantly disappointed. It wasn’t just Mike. It was a very drunk
Mike.

"Thank God you’re here. I fucked up, Jack." He
staggered in, still in his tux and smelling
like
hell.
He collapsed on my rented sofa and groaned, "Baby, I did something bad
last night. I didn’t even know I did it until it was over.”

I frowned and closed the door, “What?” My stomach was aching.

He shook his head and looked at me, giving me a heartbroken
look, “I slept with Daniela last night."

I winced, "Oh God, why?” I lifted my hand to my mouth,
covering it. I didn’t want him to see the disgust on my face but I couldn’t
help feeling it. He was loaded and stupid. I felt tears slipping into my eyes,
“Fuck, Mike. Why would you do that? Tex is going to be heartbroken. What if you
got her pregnant? You're an asshole."

He nodded, covering his eyes, "I know. I just got so
drunk and then the next thing I knew, we were in one of those rooms. She was
undoing my pants and then I blinked and we were done. I called her your name
and she got mad."

I covered my eyes, holding back my pain. Technically, we were
not together. I tried to be his friend,
which
it was
clear that was all I was, "Did anyone see you?"

"I don’t know. I don’t care. I shouldn’t have done
it." He got up quickly and dropped to his knees in front of me, "I
don’t want it to fuck things up for me and you. That’s why I had to come and
tell you right away. I can’t hurt you, Jack, but I can’t lie either. I don’t
want secrets."

I laughed and cried a little at the same time, “That has kind
of happened though, hasn’t it? I am hurt and Tex will be too.” I didn’t know
how to feel.

I closed my eyes, wishing I had blue pills for the first time
in a long time. I wanted the exploding feeling in my chest to go away. I let
the sunset amongst the tents, the charming smile of Luce, and talking about
movies and wine take over my mind and become my new blue pill. I dropped to my
knees too, "Mike, there is no me and you. You're drunk right now, so it
feels like maybe that almost sex we had yesterday was something. But let's
think about this for a minute.
Me and you
have never
had anything beyond having fun and having sex and taking naps. We have always
been that couple who was never really a couple. You're funny, cute, and sexy as
hell, but we won't ever be anything but what we are."