The Lord Of Misrule (7 page)

“Arghhh…Getoff! Ned swatted vainly at the hand tugging at his shoulder.

It continued to shake him and a loud voice echoed painfully in his skull. “Ned…Ned! You’ve got to wake up, Ned! Come on Ned!”

Reluctantly he rolled over and put up a hand over his eyes to block out the blinding light of day. Groaning he blearily rubbed his face, and looked up into the out of focus features of Rob Black. His friend had that deeply concerned look on his face again that spoke of more problems. “Rob, is the tavern on fire?”

“Ahh… no?”

“Are the French sailing up the Thames?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Has the queen miraculously given birth to a son?”

“I…I don’t think so.”

“It’s not that damn sister of yours, again is it?”

“What? Certainly not. I mean I didn’t…”

“Good, then I’m going back to sleep.” With that Ned turned away from the unfriendly winter sunlight and nuzzled into the warm blankets. Moments later a pair of large hands tugged the covers off him and before he could complain, a deluge of ice cold water drenched his face. Ned instinctively shot up, eyes wide open at the shock. The light hurt like daggers driven into his eyeballs and his head returned its own measure of painful distress, pounding away like a tambour.

“Christ…Christ! What was tha…that?”

Before him was a very apologetic Rob Black with an empty pitcher in his hand. “I’m sorry Ned. I had to do it. We’ve got another messenger from Cromwell!”

Ned shook his head. Not again! Some people obliviously got to enjoy Christmas but it looked like Ned Bedwell wasn’t going to be one of them. He swung his legs off the bed. The other two inhabitants continued to snore away, unconcerned with the sudden arrival of morning. Ned cast them a regretful glance and struggled into his doublet. Then the matter of his duty struck him and he blurted out a desperate question. “Oh Christ, where’s Walter?”

Rob Black waved his hand in the direction of the end of the revels common room. “He’s still playing, Ned.”

“What, still?”

“All night. Only stopped to grab a firkin of ale, a few pies and manchet loaf.”

Ned wearily rubbed his hand over a bristly face. Well, well. Young Walter the lamb had certainly taken to the life of London. Ned pulled on his doublet, buckled on his sword and shrugged his heavy mantle over his shoulders. If all this to–ing and fro–ing continued he’d be better off camping in Westminster. Grabbing his hat on the way out the door, Ned abruptly skidded to a halt and lent back, hand on doorjamb. “Rob, can you keep and eye on our friend, Walter. See that he isn’t fleeced too badly.”

His friend gave an encouraging shrug that Ned took for ascent and, waving a hand in farewell, hopped off down the hallway tugging on the pair of borrowed riding boots. A few months in the service of Councillor Cromwell had taught him that the former secretary to Cardinal Wolsey didn’t tolerate tardiness.

By the time he’d made it to the top of the stairs, Ned had finally managed to pull on his last boot, and now came to a cursing, skidding halt. The damned messenger! He’d almost tripped over several steps and a sleeping dog in his haste and what did he find? Once more, at the bottom of stairs, was that thrice damned Gruesome Roger Hawkins.

“About time Bedwell. Cromwell’d be finished several masses afore y’re finished using the pot, given it a loving shake an tied y’r cods.”

This sneering welcome to the day wasn’t what Ned needed as he stomped down the stairs. His morning mood was already made fragile by a lack of revelling, a midnight summons from Meg
damned be her name
Black, too little sleep, no damned breakfast and being drenched in ice water. “Damn you, Hawkins. Go and hump your St Paul’s punk till your wizened maggot of a cock rots of the canker. I don’t care if you’re the Pope’s blessed uncle come to give me a Cardinal’s cap. Summon me like this again and even Meg Black’s skirt won’t save you!”

Ned put his hand on sword hilt and stepped forward into the half crouch he’d learnt from a master of defence. If here was the time to settle this sneering affront from a cursed, measly, fly blown servant, then damn Cromwell and his summons!

Gruesome Roger’s eyes narrowed and his hand clenched tight around his cudgel. For a moment Ned thought he was going to go for it. Then the Black retainer abruptly turned and strode stiff legged towards the tavern door. “I’ve not the time to waste fo’ y’r foolery Bedwell. Cromwell’s waiting.”

Ned blinked in surprise. That was a challenge, wasn’t it? A man of honour didn’t refuse a challenge, did he? Even a lowly servant. Ned pondered on the question for a moment then, as if not trailing after like a humble lackey, nonchalantly followed the Black’s retainer.

All the way to Westminster, over the Fleete and past Temple Bar, through the mounded drifts of snow Ned tried to work out whether he’d just faced down Gruesome Roger and thus ‘won’ or in fact been even more grossly insulted. His mood wasn’t improved by the fact that due to the very large chunks of ice in the river, a comfortable wherry trip was out of the question. Thus his resort to borrowed boots again, which created their own problems. While they kept his feet relatively dry, boots such as these were properly meant for riding, so striding through the slush–hidden ruts and cobbles of London streets risked a twisted ankle at every step.

And then there was the vexing problem of Gruesome Roger. The Black’s retainer had consistently refused any further comment or reply to his many questions or imputations during the journey. Now Ned wasn’t so puffed up with pride to think that Gruesome Roger was afraid of him. The liveryman took all and every occasion to express his sneering disdain of his mistress’s ‘acquaintance’. So Ned had to ask why was today any different? This was something that too frequently occupied his thoughts instead of, as his better angel reminded him, working out what Cromwell wanted.

Ned’s better angel primly added that getting more sleep last night might have helped his present situation. His daemon countered with the suggestion of another good round of dicing or cards. Surely roistering would have improved his mood. But, by all the devils, imps and demons of the nine circles of Hell, what he really hadn’t needed last night was another of those cursed summons by Meg Black! He’d just settled down to a nice long dicing session with Walter and a few other lads and it was all going so well. Then, as he was in the middle of a winning streak, another messenger had called for him. For once it wasn’t Gruesome Roger, though it did concern Meg Black.

A young boy had been waiting nervously at the foot of the stairs. Ned had seen him around at the apothecaries, one of several who did the fetching and carrying amongst other household duties. The poor lamb was all afrightened with news that the Lord Chancellor’s men were going to raid one of the ‘night schools’ and Meg begged his aid.

Now that had been a real quandary. Ned would like nothing better than to inconvenience Meg Black, especially after she dragged him into Walter minding and this strangely devised pageant of hers. And of course her disturbance of his Christmas Revels begged for revenge. However, and he cursed as he considered it, the ‘night schools’ or ‘nests of heresy’ as Sir Thomas More called them, were secret gatherings of Lollards and evangelicals where they studied heretical texts and the Bible translated into English. The Bishop of London, with the assistance of the new Lord Chancellor, hunted them mercilessly, to root out the growing protests against the Church. Anyone captured could expect to spend some time in the Lollard tower of St Paul’s before being hauled before Foxford, the London Vicar General. Now there was a cleric without a drop of Christian compassion. You either confessed and were burnt or died in prison of the ‘sweats’. It was all the same to him. His better angel pricked his conscience. Was he really going to stand aside and let this happen? Actually no. While Red Ned Bedwell wasn’t strictly one of their number, during the
Cardinal’s Angels
affair, Lady Anne had spread her cloak of patronage over them at Grafton Regis. Thus he was now considered a client of the Boleyn faction and as a consequence, served Councillor Cromwell. So when the call for help went out…

In the end it had been a very long night. Ned had led a small band of ‘night schoolers’ away from the meeting at Cheapside via the twisting lanes and crooked alleys until they’d reached a safe house at Petty Wales down by the river. He’d even tucked one of the smaller heretical books into his doublet to stop it falling into More’s hands. It had been damned freezing with more snow, and the night was darker than a trip through Satan’s bum hole. Three hours it had taken by the time Ned had looped back, checking for any strays and then finally, wet, tired and chilled, he’d staggered back to the Sign of the Spread Eagle and, ignoring the carousing, he’d taken a blanket and collapsed on the corner bed.

That probably explained why Ned was having a problem flogging his weary sleep deprived brain into action. Why had he been summoned? Fortunately Ned found he had some hour or so in which to figure it out, though the impulse to snore away on a bench was sore tempting. The courts at Westminster may be closed and most clerks overwhelmingly concerned with their own Christmas revels. However that didn’t mean the function of government had closed down. No, there were still petitioners, reports and allocations to arrange. So Westminster, though leaner than the Law terms, was still bustling with activity.

Finally Reynolds, his patron’s liveryman, waved him into one of the hall’s privy chambers. Thomas Cromwell was standing with his back to a roaring fire, examining a letter. Ned immediately gave his most practiced bow, his cap brushing the floor. His master returned only the slightest flicker of an eyebrow to register the arrival of his latest retainer. Instead all of his attention remained on the letter. From his humbled position, Ned tried his best to read what he could of Cromwell’s demeanour. The newest of the King’s privy officials had a solid build. It was said around the Inns of Court that when younger, Cromwell had served as a mercenary in the Italian Wars. From all the signs Ned had seen, that could well be true. Cromwell moved amongst the men of power and violence with an ease that spoke of a long familiarity of court and command.

Finally Cromwell put down the letter and swung his undivided attention at Ned. With a slightly impatient flick of his fingers, he indicated that Ned should rise from his bow. “Ahh, Master Bedwell. Your Christmas Revels are going well I trust?”

This may have sounded like a pleasant question from his indulgent patron, but Ned knew that it wasn’t. Cromwell, as he was coming to understand, never indulged in idle conversation. Every word and nuance was weighed and measured for use, impact or return.

Quietly and respectfully Ned answered. “As good Christians and gentlemen, Councillor, our ceremony is celebrated with proper reverence and due respect for the season.” Ned’s better angel tut–tutted reprovingly, as the memory of the carousing at the Sign of the Spread Eagle several hours earlier resurfaced. Ned kept a tight rein on his bland smile. Cromwell could read volumes in a single twitch.

His lord and master paced over to the nearby table and tapped it with a single finger as he gave a very slow nod. “I see. I hope that it is exactly as you maintain, Master Bedwell. The good ‘health’ of young Walter is a matter dear to the King’s interests.”

Ned didn’t have to translate that. The Dellingham scion was important to some scheme of Cromwell’s.

His patron gave the slightest cough and continued. “Sir Martin Dellingham is an ardent reformer and as you’ve seen, is much influenced by the opinions of his good lady.”

The sudden image of Sir Martin, ring through his nose like that of a bullock, and with tether grasped firmly by Lady Dellingham, was produced by his delighted daemon.

“There are several matters currently before the Shropshire assizes that Sir Martin has offered his assistance in mediating with his neighbours. Since they are closely connected with His Majesty’s personal affairs, I do not need to spell them out.” Once more this wasn’t a question, though it sounded like one.

Cromwell twisted a ring on his large hand and gave the slightest frown as he spoke. “So Master Bedwell, I’m sure I have made a wise choice in placing this unworldly young man into your charge?”

“The care of Walter Dellingham is my watchword Councillor.”

Cromwell turned his back to Ned and strolled over to the fire. Then after a minute’s silence Cromwell continued in almost a musing fashion. “You know Master Bedwell, the devil sets snares for us every day. Sin and temptation dog our footsteps. According to some learned men, it is how we grapple with these demon’s traps that gives us the chance of salvation. As we know, every man, even the veriest sinner can gain the grace of our loving God by their justification of faith.”