The Lost Girl (39 page)

“And I kissed Vigil, too. It was a kiss of gratitude, a way to thank him for saving me from my own insanity. I was losing my mind at the time; his powers were twisting me inside so much I could barely distinguish reality from anything else. But Vigil dragged me out of that madness and saved me from myself. I wanted to thank him for everything he had done for me, and I kissed him. It meant nothing but gratitude for me, but I think it meant more for him … and I know how you feel about me and Vigil … so … I thought you should know about that, too,” I finished, and we both stared straight ahead in silence for a long time.

“I wanted to tell you before … in the hospital, and after I got out of the hospital, but … I couldn’t,” I said after a while, breaking the silence.

“Why didn’t you?” he asked quietly.

“I guess I was too scared of how you would react. I felt like anything could crush me, like I would fall apart over the smallest of things. I felt scared of everything, and the
thought of what you might do when you found out … I was terrified.”

“What did you think I would do?”

“Leave me. Give up on me,” I said plainly. “Even though you have every right to … At the time, I just couldn’t bear the thought.”

“And now you can bear it?” he asked.

I let out a big sigh. “Yes. If that’s what you decide, I will have to bear it. It won’t be too hard, though …” I said, leaning on one elbow and turning to face him. He mirrored my move, his face impassive and guarded again.

“Really? You’d take it that well, me leaving you?” he asked quietly.

I shrugged and his eyes flashed with something I couldn’t read. “It wouldn’t be too hard because you’d never leave me completely. We have this connection; it goes deeper than any hurt, any rejection, any storm; it’s a feeling larger than life. No matter what we go through, we will always be connected. Even if you leave, even if you find someone else, even if we go through different paths in life, something will always link us together, and pull us to each other again. So I’m not really worried, because we wouldn’t really be fully apart. Plus, you have my heart. So I will always revolve around you somehow. I can’t be too far away from my heart – it’s a commonly known fact. It would majorly suck if you have to be with someone else, though,” I said, smiling at him. “But like I said, we will always gravitate towards one another, no matter what. And I have to tell you that I have no intention of letting you go without a good fight. And let me tell you something else: I fight really hard for the things I love.”

I watched as he tried to fight the smile that was breaking
onto his lips. “That speech was so good I’m tempted to leave just to see what you would do next,” he teased.

I grinned widely at that. “Does that mean you’re staying? You forgive me, then?”

“I’m tired of being angry, Joey, and of fighting over things that don’t matter,” he said, tilting his head up to look at the sky. “I got mad at you for all the wrong reasons, and now that I have something valid to be mad about … I just don’t feel like going there again. I’m tired of being upset all the time.

“I always knew you and Harry would eventually have to go through that. It took you guys long enough … but I knew you’d come to the same conclusion I did, when I first watched you together at Sagan. I knew you wouldn’t ever stop being friends. Now we can finally get past the what-ifs and move on. And I can’t really hold anything against Vigil. He saved you from that monster; I’ll be for ever in debt to him for that. Even though I know he loves you – very much – he doesn’t have your heart. I do. And that is that,” he said with finality. “Plus, how can I leave if you have my heart? I can’t go very far away from my heart, it’s a commonly known fact, didn’t you know?” he said, with a grin.

I smiled and moved closer to him. I had this one thing I needed to do which I’d been meaning to do since I first saw him standing on the balcony. I closed the space between us, stood on the tips of my toes and pulled him close to me in a deep embrace.

“I love you so much,” I whispered as I buried my face in his neck, feeling the warmth of his body, his pulsing heart pushing strongly against his chest. He snaked his arms around me and tightened his grip.

“I love you too,” he whispered back. He held me in
silence, just reveling in our embrace. Then he leaned back a little and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “Can I kiss you now?” he asked with a soft smile, his voice slightly hesitant.

“Why are you even asking me? You never needed to ask before.” I chuckled at his sudden weird formality.

His eyes twinkled, glowing with a new fire inside. “I know, but you look like a goddess now, it’s a bit intimidating,” he mumbled.

That made me laugh even harder. I mean,
really
? The man standing in front of me making my knees turn to jelly was surely joking at my expense now. “What on earth are you talking about, Tristan?” I asked, chuckling hard.

“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? I came here to find the amazing girl I fell in love with, and I found this breathtaking, mind-blowing, beautiful woman instead. You look … God, I don’t even have words to describe it!” he said.

We locked eyes, his burning silver orbs ablaze in the sunset. And then he leaned in and took my lips, kissing me so deeply and with so much emotion that it left me reeling at the amount of love his lips bared to me. I matched his kiss with the same love he was giving me, and my body trembled, reacting to his every touch and the taste of him.

Soon we were tangled in each other, trying to pull closer and closer until our bodies were mashed into one. He grabbed me and pulled me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. We managed to stumble on to the mattress on the deck, swiftly discarding pieces of clothing along the way.

I needed to have him; I needed to release some of this excruciating heat which burned through my veins. My head was filled with pleasure and my body with a fire that
pulsed stronger each time his hands touched me, each time his body rocked and pressed hard against me and his lips claimed mine hungrily. A fire that pounded along with my heartbeat, along with the strokes of his fingers, this inhuman heat consuming my very core, until there was nothing left but the feel of our climaxes exploding in unison.

The last thing I heard was a faint whisper in my mind:

Let it burn …

“Joey!” Tristan’s sharp voice called my attention as I was still dazed and breathless. But the hint of panic in his tone made me snap my eyes open and look at him with a start.

His eyes were wide and fixed on my hands, hands that were grabbing his arms tightly. They were burning with light-yellow flames. I gasped in surprise, but a memory instinctively came back to me. Vigil’s faint words in a distant dream. I knew what to do.

Make it stop.

And the flames extinguished immediately. I looked at Tristan, my eyes as wide as his; then I glanced at his arm, where my hands were still holding on to him.

“D-did I burn you?” I asked, a little shocked myself.

He shook his head. “No. It didn’t burn … It felt a little warmer than normal, but … It was a nice feeling. Kinda hot. But good. Is there something you forgot to mention to me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh … well, apparently – and mind you, this is as new to me as it is to you – I have uncovered this other new treat after the ‘incident’,” I said, sounding baffled even to my own ears.

“New ‘treat’,” he repeated in awe.

“I-I shouldn’t have let it go this far. I could feel it taking over me but it felt so good and I was distracted by …
you
know
…” I explained, giving him an embarrassed smile. “But don’t worry, I can control it. And apparently it doesn’t hurt you, so … I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Has this ever happened before?” he asked.

“I did something like it once, but that’s when I had Vigil’s powers. This is the first time since we switched back. I guess the fire isn’t as much about Vigil’s powers as it is about mine.” He didn’t move, still hovering half on top of me, hands planted either side of me, supporting his weight. He stared at me, a smug smile showing in the corner of his mouth.

“So, you’re saying it only happened because of
me
?” he asked with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes.
Men.
“Yeah, Tristan, you made me so hot I burst into flames,” I said, feeling a blush tinting my cheeks. Might as well say it. It was a sort of truth anyway.

“You know … I could feel it too. The heat, taking over, under my skin wherever you touched me. It was kind of an intense feeling. Remarkably good, though. Would you mind trying it again to see how it goes?” he asked, a mischievous smile playing seductively on his lips.

“You mean, have another go at it?” I asked.

“For purely experimental purposes, of course,” he added, still smirking.

“Well, we do need to learn more about it,” I agreed.

He leaned in closer, biting his lips in such a sexy way that I couldn’t help but stare. “It’s kinda dangerous, though. I could set the whole house on fire,” I whispered, my eyes still fixed on his swollen lips.

“We’re right beside the pool; it’s the perfect place to test it out,” he countered, closing in slowly and planting kisses all over my neck. “So … let’s see if I can give you enough
pleasure to make you spontaneously combust again.” His hoarse voice vibrated against my neck. “I always knew we were amazing together, but this puts it into a whole new level of amazing.”

“God, you’ll be forever bragging about this, won’t you?” I whimpered, trying to suppress a moan as he skilfully nibbled.

“Oh, yeah,” he murmured, homing in for another hungry kiss.

I must proudly say that I managed to not burn down the house the second time around, but fire still sprouted from my hands at the end of round two. We discovered then that my flames couldn’t really hurt Tristan, which was a huge relief.

And he was quite ecstatic with this newly discovered ability of mine. He said the sensation was better than anything he had ever experienced before.

I had to admit I had never felt like this, either. It was quite a rush, letting the energy out like that. And I guess we were both really comfortable with the supernatural part of us being so present in our lives now; we had both learned to accept it instead of freaking out all the time.

Then Tristan carried me to my room to test it again. He was quite keen on experimenting with fire. And I wasn’t posing any objections, either. Eventually, when the night rolled in, we decided enough was enough and we took a break from experimenting for the night. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat, our bodies wrapped in the white sheets. We weren’t talking, but lost in our own private thoughts as he grazed his fingers up and down my back in soft, gentle strokes.

A silver chain glinted around his neck, catching my eye.

“What’s this?” I asked curiously, touching the thin silver chain between my fingers. Tristan was never much a jewelry type of guy, unlike Harry, who was always jingling with, like, a thousand necklaces and wristbands. Tristan glanced down and when he realized what I was asking he blushed a little, clearly very embarrassed.

“Oh, hmm … it’s, uh, nothing. I forgot I had it on me. I’ve been wearing it for some time now and … you know, I was supposed to take it off before getting here, but it must have slipped my mind …” He trailed off.

I pulled at the chain and it tugged back. Something was weighing it down. A pendant of sorts. He leaned on his elbows, pushing me away from his chest and preventing me from investigating any further.

I sat on the bed, clutching the sheets close to my body, and gave him a baffled, hurt look. He sighed, giving up and reaching to unlock the chain. Then he pulled it from his neck to show two silver rings swinging gently. I raised a very curious and surprised eyebrow.

“I’m sorry. I know how you freak out about the wedding subject. I’d asked for these to be made after we had agreed to go public. They were finished a few weeks ago and I’ve been wearing them since then …” he said, sighing loudly and handing me the chain. “Please, don’t freak out.”

I slid one of the rings off the chain and examined it. It didn’t look like a traditional wedding ring. For starters, it was silver instead of gold, flat in shape instead of rounded, and had two engraved lines running parallel on its surface. It looked custom-made, very beautiful, clearly made by a talented craftsman.

“It’s beautiful,” I said honestly, and that encouraged him to keep going.

“I know you don’t like golden stuff, so I asked for it to be made in white gold instead. The two lines running alongside each other represent us, together on the same path. And I got it engraved. Look inside.”

I squinted, peering inside. It was kind of hard to read in the semi-darkness of the room, but I could still faintly discern the words engraved in beautiful cursive letters:

T. J. Until the End & From the Start.

The other ring was smaller and bore the same inscription inside, and at the end of the text there was a small diamond incrusted in the metal.

“There is a diamond in your ring. I put it inside because I know you don’t like wearing things that glint on the outside,” he said, chuckling a little, but then he switched quickly to an apologetic expression. “But you were not supposed to see them. I know how strongly you are against marriage.”

I handed him back the rings and chain. “I’m not
against
it, Tristan, it’s just … I think the whole concept is fake: the white dress, the church, the nonsense rituals. I don’t believe in anything a priest can say to me … It won’t mean anything, the whole thing is just too … pointless. I’m sorry.”

“You’re talking about the ceremony. Marriage has nothing to do with dresses or priests or traditions. Or even about what gods you believe in. It’s about believing in each other and committing. It’s about the vows we take, the promises we make. It’s about giving up my heart and being worthy enough to hold yours. About pledging to be together and always being true to our love, no matter what.
The rest is just … for show. I don’t care about the show,” he said, closing his hand firmly around the two rings.