The Lost Gods (11 page)

“I'll walk,” Adam said and he stood up as straight as he was able to, “At least I can die with a shred of dignity left. Not that anyone will know either way.”

“I'll know,” said Jesse, “and you aren't going to die. Neither of us are.”

Adam's words reverberated in Jesse's head. They sunk deep into his gut. On some level, Jesse agreed with what Adam was saying. He had his doubts about the state of things as well. Why bother fighting if this mi
serable life is all that is left? Jesse would ask himself, and he never had an acceptable answer for that question. He did not know why he fought, only that he would never stop fighting. He was determined to survive, but he had no logical basis for his will to persist. Adam lacked Jesse's strong convictions. Jesse had talked Adam down from a suicidal state during their first long siege at their fort.

It was the unknown that Jesse feared, not death itself, or the pain
of evisceration. He feared he would become undead. He also feared that hell, or something like it, was real. Not the fire and brimstone hell that most Americans had believed in, but a dark place filled with hapless creatures like the ones he killed to survive. Whatever force was behind this apocalypse was crueler than the adversary he was told to fear as a child. It was even scarier than the grand creator he was told to love. His recent dreams had complicated matters further. He wanted answers, but each dream only created more and more questions. He longed for sleep, so that he could meet with this queen again.

They walked in silence,
occasionally broken by curses that Adam leveled at no one in particular. Having trouble negotiating the steep descent, Adam's pace was slow. Jesse walked behind Adam and checked for threats. A small group of reanimates followed at a lethargic pace, but the horde from the forest was nowhere in sight.

After the long and quiet walk, the two men entered the town. They had not seen Silverdale in the sunlight in months. Clouds had hovered over the doomed town, as if they were waiting to watch Jesse and Adam fail. Dyes Inlet, a murky and bone-chilling body of water, bordered the southeastern part of the town. Jesse wondered how many of these screaming creatures, or worse, there were in the world. The thought turned his stomach into an iron ball.

They passed gas stations, liquor stores, and a discount supermarket. Jesse caught glimpses of faded billboards, brandishing their weathered advertisements. Jesse thought about the world that he grew up in: a world that no longer existed. Unlike when civilizations had collapsed in the past, no new force, equipped with superior technology or tactics, had arrived to replace the old guard this time around. The reanimates brought only death and did not care for advancement. Those things lived for blood, flesh, and bone; and they had reduced Jesse and the remaining humans to primacy.

Ahead, a Japanese sedan was up on its side: smashed against a light pole. A random thought came into Jesse head, as he stared at the sedan, and he blurted out, “My car insurance was due.”

“I don't think you have to worry about that,” Adam replied.

“That was the last bill I remember paying before I went back home.”

Adam said nothing and wiped some blood from under his nose.

“Do you ever think about all the stupid shit we don't have to do anymore?” Jesse asked.

“No. There's plenty to do now.”

“I'm relieved by it. I just wish it didn’t take all this to change everything.”

“I'll make sure to inform the next screaming zombie I see.”

“I just feel free now,” said Jesse, “Sometimes, I mean. I never felt free before all this happened. I felt trapped into this cycle of nonsense that I didn’t believe in.”

“Free? Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Free?” Adam said with a cutting tone, “We're in prison, man. Wake the fuck up, all right? We're fuckin’ surrounded. They're going to catch us, I mean, they’ll get us eventually. It's not like we're eagles or some shit. We're three-hundred yards from where we went to high school, and we're probably going to get beaten half to death and eaten by a pack of screaming, super zombies in a couple of minutes. And that makes you feel free? Well, good ‘cause we’ll both be free in a bit when we’re lying face down in our own blood.”

“I didn't say I felt good, just free from all the useless stuff we used to have to do. Aren't you relieved that you don't have to find insurance, or apply for jobs, or try to find a way to justify your choices or whatever? Didn't that shit tire you out?”

“Not nearly as much as running for my goddamn life every day,” Adam said, “I can't believe the things you think about. The way you think boggles my mind. I haven't busted a nut in months, and I've had to fight for my life every day. I haven't felt worse, ever. No matter how bad of a hangover, withdrawal, or whatever I had — that was never as bad as this shit. Here you are taking deep breaths and waxing philosophical about, what, about not having to do your fuckin’ taxes? I didn't do that shit back when I was supposed to, so maybe I just don't feel the burden that's been lifted. I'm guessing that it beat the shit out of having a fistfight with a rotting corpse because you — never mind. I’m done.”

“Forget it.”

“Whatever, man. It's not important.”

They came to the intersection in the middle of town. The mall was up ahead, but trees and overgrown bushes on two narrow strips of landscaping blocked their view of the fort.

…

“Almost home,” said Adam in a voice too low for Je
sse to hear.

Adam sucked in another pained breath. His face throbbed and pain radiated through his body. His ankle
swelled, his face bore gashes, and his nose and mouth leaked blood. He was a sorry sight. The last bits of adrenaline and endorphins had left his system and unbearable pain had replaced them. He was run down in every sense of the phrase. The only thing keeping him going was his long-standing habit of not being dead. Jesse was a few paces behind him, but he was still fresh and had no injuries besides a few scrapes and bruises. Adam squinted and saw the outline of the fort through the green belt.

“Those motherfuckers,” said Adam. He forgot his pains and hustled toward the fort.

“What do you see? Hold up!”

…

Jesse moved up and tried to catch Adam. He put his hand on Adam's left shoulder, but Adam shook it off and kept walking. On the south platform of the fort stood two large reanimates. Dozens of creatures milled outside the fort.

“Hey!” Adam yelled. “That's our fort. Run along now and get your own.”

“What are you doing?” Jesse asked.

“Being brave and stupid. Isn't that what you wanted?”

“No!”

“Today's the day,” Adam said, and he looked into Je
sse’s eyes. Jesse could see the desperation and pain on his bloodied face.

“I'm tired of this shit,” Adam said, “But I lost my gun back in the field.”

“Don't do this.”

One of the reanimates on the platform was staring at them. She raised her head up and screamed. Another screamed in kind. Adam looked over at Jesse with fire behind his glassy eyes.

...

“I’m tired, Jesse,” he said and turned toward the fort. “Come on, you rotten fucks! Come get a piece of this.”

Adam went into an awkward run toward the fort. Jesse followed trying to come up with a plan as he moved. A nearby reanimate raised it arms and grabbed for Adam. Adam snatched it by the wrist and dragged the skinny creature with him. It chomped its teeth together and moaned as he pulled. It grabbed Adam's hand with its free hand. Adam clutched its elbow with his other hand. He spun the creature around and flung it toward the other shambling corpses. It stumbled a few steps and rolled in a flailing mass. The off-balance creature smashed into three reanimates causing two of them to trip. The third tripped and fell onto its hands and knees. Adam walked over to the doubled-over reanimate and kicked it in the head. It fell onto its back and Adam's stomped it into oblivion. More creatures descended on Adam. Adam went into a frenzied state and punched, kicked, and pushed the creatures.

…

Jesse ran toward Adam and kicked a reanimate that was reaching for Adam’s back. A piercing scream disrupted the scene. Adam covered his ears and the screaming thing rammed into him. He fell flat on his side and his head slammed into the pavement. The creature dived on top of him and raked its claws across Adam's neck and face.

After the scream let out, a reanimate grabbed Jesse from behind. It bit down on his shoulder, but its teeth could not pierce his thick jacket. He grabbed the cre
ature’s head hard, twisted his body, and threw the creature over his shoulder. He stood back up and caught sight of the screaming thing clawing at Adam's face and throat. A shiver ran over his body. Jesse charged toward the creature and planted a foot in its side. It flew off of Adam and rolled onto its back. Jesse jumped over and straddled it. He pummeled it with his fists. The fierce thing scratched at his jacketed arms, tearing the fabric, and kicked him in the balls. Jesse dropped on top of creature and clenched its face with both hands. His fury overpowered the nausea from the low blow he had absorbed. He let out a scream of his own and wrenched its neck. Its writhing body went limp after a loud snap. Jesse stood up and stomped its skull into the pavement for good measure. Without looking down, Jesse held out his hand for Adam: waiting for him to take it.

“Get up, man,” said Jesse. He looked around. Dozens of reanimates were closing in, and he had lost sight of the second screaming thing. Jesse looked down and said, “We've got to get out of here.”

Jesse looked down and locked onto Adam's empty stare. Blood had formed a thick pool under Adam's neck. Jesse saw Adam's corpse for what it was. Just a body lying on the asphalt without anything left in it that was once his best friend. There was no goodbye and no inspiring deathbed speech. He was simply gone: his fire extinguished. In that instant, Jesse changed on the molecular level. A surge went through him and he skipped denial and grief and went straight into unbridled rage.

A large creature exited the gate of the fort. The pa
dlock Jesse and Adam had secured the gate with dangled, broken. The thing was wearing some kind of ornate skirt and a cuirass, like it was a long-lost legionnaire. It had on the same copper helmet that the first screaming creature wore. Its white-within-black eyes tracked Jesse. It bolted forward. Jesse planted his feet and raised his hands to chest level. Once it neared him, he shot his hands forward and clasped its neck. He wheeled his left leg backward in a circle and used the creature's forward momentum to throw it off balance. It landed flat on its face. Jesse dashed over to it. Without a pause, it pushed itself to its feet and whipped around. Jesse had already closed the distance. Before it could attack him, Jesse cupped the back of its head and drove its skull downward into his rising knee. His knee collided with its face, producing a loud, deep thud. He gripped its jaw and hair in his large hands and cranked as hard as he could. Its neck snapped and Jesse let the dead thing collapse onto the pavement. He left it in a heap on the ground and went through the broken gate to the fort.

As he entered the fort, heads turned and jaws dropped with an unknowing desire. He hoisted himself onto the platform and opened the supply chest. Jesse flipped the lid open and grabbed a claw hammer and long screwdriver. He dropped down onto the asphalt next to a thin reanimate with an oversized forehead and a stringy postmortem mullet. The sorry creature swung its emaciated arm at Jesse. He ducked under the slow swipe and stabbed the screwdriver into its armpit. Its black shirt had a design depicting a metallic angel riding a razor-wheeled motorcycle with Painkiller in bold print above it. He bludgeoned the creature in the temple with his hammer.
Its skull caved in and the former metal head dropped to the ground. Jesse yanked the screwdriver out of its armpit.

A noise trap went off.

A handful of creatures remained inside the fort. Jesse dealt with them in a similar fashion, until all the reanimates around the asphalt courtyard of the fort lay strewn about like drunken party guests. Jesse returned to the trunk and grabbed some cans of food and a gym bag. He filled the bag and put the hammer in his belt and the screwdriver in his jacket pocket. His hands shook as he slung the gym bag over his shoulder.

He climbed up the ladder and grabbed his sleeping bag. He saw Adam’s bag still open from their last mor
ning in the fort. The back of his head tingled.

Jesse walked out of the fort and over to Adam. He bent down, closed Adam's eyes, crossed his arms over his chest, and picked up Adam’s body. He slung him over his shoulder.

Slow and encumbered, Jesse headed to the inlet. He did not think, speak, or cry. His muscles trembled from the surplus of adrenaline, and his teeth bore the strain of his clenched jaw. Exhausted, Jesse arrived at the small beach at the waterfront with Adam’s body. He took his body to the edge of the water. Jesse kept his back straight as he lowered himself to one knee. He cupped his hand behind Adam's neck and laid him on the wet sand. Jesse knew no words with which to send Adam into the afterlife, an afterlife he now knew existed. He buried Adam by hand. The morning tide would carry Adam into the depths of the inlet.

When he finished patting down the last handful of cold sand, Jesse pulled out his sleeping bag and lay down on the ground next to Adam. He did not cry at first, but when he
did, it grabbed him by his stomach. Sorrow bent him in half, and he began to sob in strained breaths and deep gasps. Snot ran from his nose and he cried low and hard. He muttered nonsense to himself until his eyes swelled shut and he passed out. He slept alone and unprotected for the first time in months, without a care for his personal safety, as his childhood friend slept forever next to him.