The Love He Craves (The Love She Craves: Selling Her Soul to Declan Book 2) (26 page)

“They kept it pretty low key. If they were making out, a few people might have voiced their objections.”

“Do you think they liked each other?” She looked over her shoulder at him, but it was too dark to see anything but his outline.

“Not really, but you never know.”

“I don’t think they did either. I think Joseph should get together with Treshaun,” she said, shifting her hips and rubbing her bottom against his cock.

A slight moan of pleasure came from behind her, making Nyxie smile into the darkness. It felt heady to know she had the ability to excite a man like Declan.

“What else surprised you?”

“I was surprised when you kissed me after you’d been drinking, that I didn’t think of my dad. When we had drunks come in to the truck stop and I’d smell the alcohol on their breath, it felt like Daddy was sitting in the booth. I’d feel sick to my stomach and I always had to take a step back.”

“Because you were afraid?”

Nyxie stayed quiet for a long moment. “Yeah.”

“Are you afraid of me right now?”

“Leery,” she admitted, after another long pause.

Although he didn’t make a sound, she felt a rush of air on her neck from his sigh. His forehead came down and made contact with the crown of her head. She arched her back, grinding her bottom into him with an unseen smile on her face.

“You’re killing me,” he said, stilling her hips with his hand.

“Does it make me crazy to admit I still want you even though I’m slightly afraid?”

“Baby, you don’t have to worry. Hard limits are sacred. I know that. If I breached that trust, you will never learn to trust me.”

“That’s not what I mean. I know you won’t break the hard limit. But even though you have been drinking, I still want to have sex with you, and yet all I can see in my mind is my father raping my mother.”

Declan kissed the crown of her head and placed his hand on the flat of her stomach, placing her in a tight embrace. Nyxie moaned, and wiggled her bottom against him again. Her hand covered his and guided it upward to her small breast.

“Nyxie, baby, you’re torturing me,” he said, cupping her breast, and gently squeezing, his thumb rubbing against her nipple. His hips and thighs came forward, pressing into her. “You either need to stop, or rescind the limit.”

“I didn’t know you when I demanded that limit. I didn’t know who you would become if you were inebriated.”

“I drank it with food,” he said, as his finger and thumb came together and rolled the tip, progressively increasing to a pinch and making her moan and writhe.

“I can’t help myself when I’m around you. I want you inside me. I don’t care if you’ve been drinking. Please, sir, please fuck me.”

Using the arm that went under her head, Declan captured her free wrist in his large hand. She never imagined he could hold both of her thin wrists with one large hand but she quickly realized she was as helpless to break free, as she would have been if he had tied her up. Not that she had any desire to be free of him.

He ground his hips into her ass making her acutely aware of how hard he’d become. How was it possible that feeling his erections against her bottom made her clit throb?

A breathy moan escaped her lips as he continued the motion against her ass.

“Are you the kind of girl who would get a thrill in the middle of a crowded concert—bodies pressing forward—people you don’t know reaching out for a quick touch?”

His hand slid between her legs from behind—briefly but firmly. He hooked his hand behind her knee and lifted her leg to her chest. Rolling forward, he pinned her into the mattress with his weight.

Her eyes closed as she put herself in his scenario.

“The lights and the music suddenly stop. The crowd surges forward. I think it’s an outage. The crowd goes silent at first as they try to figure out what’s going on, and then they get loud as people think the band has stopped playing intentionally.”

His hand finds her sex from behind. The touch is groping and rough.

“God, why did I let you wear that short skirt. The men around us take advantage of the darkness. I can feel their hands reaching between our bodies and I hold you closer, trying to protect you.”

Declan ran his hand along her ass and up the back of her leg that was trapped between her torso and the bed. Suddenly, she felt his cock running along her slit, inside the folds. Her breath caught as the head found her clitoris.

“Declan, no, not here. When the lights come on, we’re going to get caught,” Nyxie said breathlessly.

She felt his hips withdrawing, pulling the hardness of his cock along her sex, past her vaginal opening to her anus. Her breath hitched as she felt him pressing into her
there
. Her heart began racing out of fear that he would penetrate her.

“A submissive does not tell her Dom what to do. I could dry fuck you in the asshole so hard I’d land you in the ER if I wanted.” He kissed the crown of her head as if to remind her he loved her, and he was just playing to the fantasy he was describing.

“I’m sorry, sir,” she said quickly. “I’m just nervous. There are so many people, I can’t move.”

The head of his cock slowly slid forward until he found her sex. He poised there for only a moment before he impaled her.

Nyxie gasped at the sudden intrusion only because it caught her off guard. Her body was ready to take his. She barely had to think of him before her body began preparing to accept him. Her passage softened, accommodating his girth as he began thrusting into her with hard, angry thrusts that made her whole body begin to build with desire. His hand moved to her shin pulling her leg more tightly against her chest.

Suddenly, Nyxie began to feel uncharacteristically confined. It didn’t make sense to her. He had bound her several times before, but this felt different.

“Stop,” she said quietly. “Stop!”

At her plea, Declan hesitated in his rhythm. His body instinctively reacted to the word that he had been conditioned since birth to understand. But the Dom side of him knew that word was meaningless. If she wanted him to truly stop, she would safe-word him. He lessened his intensity slightly, in case he was causing her discomfort.

Nyxie pulled against his hands as if trying to free herself. Even before he entered her, she had been playing up her reluctance. Was she like so many subs, who had a rape fantasy she wanted them to play? He was not willing to go there unless they discussed it first, especially considering her history.

“I can’t breathe,” she said. “Please, Declan.” her voice was high-pitched with stress.

“Are you safe-wording me?”

Her head nodded vigorously. “My arm. I told you, I don’t like it.”

Declan instantly became aware of the way he had unintentionally trapped her upper arm against her body as he held her shin in place. She had told him it was the only thing that made her feel claustrophobic. He immediately moved his arm under hers, but didn’t release her in any other way.

“Better? Do you still want me to stop?”

“God, what the fuck is wrong with me?” she said, but he knew she wasn’t expecting an answer. “I’m okay. You can keep going.”

Declan could hear the tightness in her voice and feel the tension in her body. It soon became apparent that the mood was gone and although they continued, Nyxie had ceased responding to his touch and attention.

“I’m sorry,” Nyxie said, a slight warble in her voice.

“Are you crying?” he asked, releasing her hands and withdrawing from her depths. He flipped on the small lamp on the nightstand.

“I didn’t mean for you to stop. I just knew I wasn’t going to get there tonight. You can finish if you want.”

“This is because I put my arm over yours?”

He rolled her onto her back so he could see her face. Her eyes were filled with tears, but he could tell by the set of her mouth that she was trying not to cry.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I don’t mean to be such a fucking, snot-nosed cunt.”

Declan stared at her as she said the hate filled words about herself. Had putting his arm over hers triggered some distant memory the way touching her neck had?

“Nyxie, why would you say such a horrible thing? I would certainly never call you anything like that. I love you, I cherish you.”

“I’m such a big pain in the ass,” she said. “I fuck up everything. I can’t even have sex without ruining it for you.”

“You haven’t ruined anything, baby.” His whole body reacted to the vulnerability he saw in her eyes. He wanted to be inside of her even more than he had a few minutes earlier.

Declan pushed himself up into a sitting position facing her. “Who am I?” he asked.

“Declan Stryker—my husband and my dominant.”

“Am I stupid?”

“No, you’re very smart.”

Nyxie’s eyes dropped to his dick, jutting proudly at her. She wrapped her small hand around it and began stroking its length.

“Would a smart man love a fucking snot-nosed cunt? Would I marry her and love her?”

“No,” she reluctantly admitted.

“Who called you that name?” he asked, covering her hand and stopping the motion. Was she trying to distract him? He pulled her hand away and set it on his thigh.

Her eyes met his briefly before closing—the tears in her eyes finally falling down her cheeks. “Daddy called me that.”

“Why does trapping your arm against your body make you feel claustrophobic?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do.”

The rivulets on her cheeks traversed a crooked path to her jaw and the tears fell off her face in little droplets.

“Don’t be mad at me,” she said.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m trying to understand you.”

Suddenly, all the vulnerability seemed to disappear. “No you don’t. You just want to hear all the horrible things that happened to me as a child,” she said, her voice increasing in volume and becoming shrill. She pulled her hand away from his leg. “Do you get a thrill from hearing about my bruises and broken bones?”

She swiped her forearm across her cheek in an attempt to vanquish the tears running down her face.

“I hope you know that’s not true.”

Declan suspected the way she had suddenly become defensive, that his theories were coming close to the truth. He thought about what she said,
bruises and broken bones
. He thought back to the night he had read her hospital records. She had broken her humorous twice. The second time, she had broken her clavicle also. Both fractures would result in the immobilization of her arm. Her arm would have been strapped to her body, probably both times, definitely when her collarbone was broken.

Nyxie suddenly scrambled out of bed and began getting dressed.

“Really? You would rather leave than tell me what that monster did to you while you were healing from your broken bones? Nyxie, why did your mother feel the need to start you in school early?” he asked, climbing out of bed and grabbing a pair of shorts from his chest of drawers and pulling them on. “I know this is all connected.”

“Well, then you know it all,” she shouted, fastening her strapless bra behind her back.

“No, baby, I don’t.”

Declan came up behind her and grabbed her wrists. As he crossed her arms over her breasts, he intentionally pinioned her arms to her sides.

“No!” she screamed. “Stop. You’ve had your fun. I want to go home.”

Her struggles were no match for his strength as he pulled her down to the floor and into his lap.

“Let me go! Please.”

“Not until you tell me. Calm down, Nyxie. You know I’m not going to hurt you. Why does this bother you?”

Nyxie’s breath came in fast shallow gulps and he knew she’d hyperventilate if she didn’t slow it down.

She bent at the waist and tried to twist free of his hold. “Please,” she begged, but her struggles were no match for his strength.

“You said you didn’t like it—it made you feel claustrophobic. This reaction is more than that. I need to understand,” he said, trying to immobilize her without hurting her.

“I told you already. You didn’t listen,” she cried, her voice sounding crazed. “It was safe under the bed. He couldn’t get me under the bed.”

Declan’s brow lowered until lines formed between his eyes. He could see no connection between her arm being held against her body and the perception that she was safe under the bed.

It hadn’t been so long ago that he had cleaned out her tiny apartment. He had lain on the floor and had reached out his arm to see how much space she had to hide in. The bed didn’t have a heavy frame like his. It only took one hand for him to move it.

“You weren’t safe under the bed. All he had to do was pull it away from the wall.”

“No. I was small and fast and I could see his feet. I could move away before he could move the bed. He never got me under the bed.”

“Until he broke your arm.”

She nodded, her head darting around as if she was looking for a place to hide. Her tears were flowing fast, wetting her cheeks and lashes. “Momma told me to stay in the closet until she got home from work, but I had to pee. I always had to pee. I tried to wait until he made a beer run or went to check the mailbox. He slept all morning long. I could watch TV as long as it didn’t wake him up. When he started moaning, I would turn off the TV and run to the bathroom, and then I shut myself in the closet. But he woke up because the TV was too loud. I didn’t hear him until he was behind me. I couldn’t get in the closet so I tried to get under the bed.” She began to fight him again. “Please, let me go home.”