The Love Triangle (BWWM Romance) (50 page)

She knew it was no good, looking at him and thinking about him that way. They were too different, too complicated. No, they were better off as friends and co-workers. She would take the job offer, she would be a fool not to, but she would keep her distance. They both needed to move on and focus on something else. Seeing Tony happy reminded her what a good influence on him Derek was.

They stayed out longer than they anticipated. The sun was setting when they made it back to the apartment. Derek walked them up and saw to it that Tony was watching a show on television before he turned to her.

“I guess I need to get going.” He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Thank you for a good day, Derek, Antoine has been… well, off lately, angry and upset. Today he was more like himself, because of you.” She walked him to the door.

“I love being around him, he is a good boy. I love being around you too, Ciara.” He smiled at her.

“Derek, we can’t…”

“I know, I know, we will be working together. What happened with us, Ciara, I mean, really?”

“We are just from different worlds, I guess, Derek. Sometimes it just happens.”

“Yeah, I guess. Good night, Ciara.” He kissed her hand before he turned and left her there.

Sleep was a long time in coming that night. She thought about his words and actions. Eventually she thought about his hands and being held in his arms.  He did things to her, made her feel something she couldn’t keep hidden. With him, things were always complicated and she knew working together would be her biggest challenge yet. They needed to keep things on the right side of the line. When they were just friends, they were great. Anything more than that was too much. It was almost as if the emotions they had were too overwhelming. She drifted off to sleep that night, a part of her wishing she was in his arms once again.

***

The next two weeks were a whirlwind. She was currently working in his business office. It was good and complicated work, something she loved. She had two classes left to get her degree and she wouldn’t have to count on him giving her a job then. She could find something on her own and not force him to keep her on there. She loved working there, the staff was friendly, as the receptionist was gone from her initial run in.

She was behind the scenes, processing paperwork and insurance. She felt a sense of pride every day when she went to work. She was good at it and she felt good when she came home tired. Derek was in and around and she would catch a glimpse of him from time to time. It was one of the many perks of being there. She would be lying if she said she didn’t miss him. At work he was all business, she missed him the way he had been the day they had lunch and went to the park. Seeing him in that element made him even more appealing to her.

She glanced down at the papers in front of her. She had five minutes and she was done for the week. She would get her first paycheck and she couldn’t wait. She had filled out all of her paperwork when she was hired but she didn’t ask how much she was making. She didn’t want to seem too eager. That was the day she would find out. She wrapped up things at her desk and made her way to the business office in the front. They smiled and gave her an envelope and she made her way to the car.

She had promised Antoine they would go to dinner. Something cheap but fun. She ripped open the envelope and gasped hard. She took a deep breath and felt tears spring to her eyes. It was ridiculous. She made her way to her house before she called him. He answered right away as if he had been waiting on her call.

“Don’t say anything Ciara, before you start yelling at me let me try and explain.”

“Are you kidding me, Derek, really?” She was upset and she had every right to be.

“Ciara, just wait a second. Listen, come to this address. Just do it and I’ll explain?”

She hung up and plugged the address into her phone’s GPS. She would give him a piece of her mind once and for all. She called Miss Withers and made arrangements for her to sit with Antoine until she got home. She was too angry to notice where she was going. She maneuvered every twist the GPS spouted out to her without thought. Finally it stopped at a massive building. She parked her car and looked up. So that was where he lived. She sighed looking at the place, too big, too much, she shook her head and made her way into the building. She ran into a young man who was working at the desk in the front.

“Yes, can I help you, miss?” He gave her a look of distaste.

She crossed her arms self-consciously. “I need to know where Derek Baker’s place is.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, we can’t give out that information. If you’re a patient of his ,I’m sure he would take your call tomorrow. Now if there is nothing else, I’ll see you out.” He came around the corner and gave her a once over.

“No, I’m not leaving can you just tell him I’m here please? On second thought, I’ll call him myself.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed his number as the man prodded her toward the doors.

“Derek, this jackass down here won’t let me in the building. You know what, to hell with this!”

She shut the phone and stomped the rest of the way out of the building. She felt the tears well up but she refused to give in. It was just one more way she would never fit into his world. She slammed her car door shut and turned the engine over and nothing happened.

“Damn, not now, please just start for me.”

No matter how much she wanted to disappear, it wouldn’t start. She slapped the wheel in frustration. Everything she did fell apart. She glanced up and saw a fuming Derek headed towards her.

“Ciara, I’m so sorry, I took care of it.” She looked up at him.

“It doesn’t matter, Derek, I shouldn’t even be here. I’ll take this one check. I just need to move back home. Nothing is working for me here anymore.”

The tone of her voice must have pushed him.

“Ciara, get out of the car right now, you are not a quitter and you're coming upstairs to talk to me. I mean it, Ciara, let’s go.”

He was demanding but she didn’t care anymore. She was almost in a daze as she followed him into the elevator. He held her close to him, as if he knew she was different, that she was lost. She followed him, he helped her sit down and the last few months came crashing down on her all at once. She felt the tears well up and that time she let them fall. Deep sobs wracked her body. She leaned forward on her knees until she couldn’t hold herself up anymore. She felt his arms under her, lifting her. None of it mattered, all she wanted was to escape from the pain of it all. She felt herself gently placed on something soft.

“Ciara, my sweet Ciara, it’s going to be okay. I always tell you that and it always does, doesn’t it?”

She felt his arms around her and she clung to him, burrowing her head in the crook of his arm as he held her tight. She was safe, at least for the moment. She was safe with Derek, always with Derek. She cried until there was nothing left. She needed more and wanted to feel something good.

She looked up at him lying beside her and knew this was a moment she would regret if she didn’t take it. She reached up to him and pulled him to her, kissing him. She felt his resistance at first but as he returned her kisses, he soon became lost in the sensations they created between them. He trailed kisses down her face and neck and she arched up to meet them. He cradled her head in his hands.

“Ciara, are you sure?” He whispered it to her, searching her face.

“Yes, I’m sure… please,” she pleaded and he needed no further encouragement.

She felt the coolness of the air as he stripped her free of her clothing. His hands were everywhere at once, touching, kissing and feeling her. She felt the shift in control as he loved her with abandon. She let herself go completely. She felt his hands run down her hips and she looked up at him as he followed his hands with his lips.

He left no skin untouched and moved with graceful movements despite the fever they had created between them. She felt him kiss a trail down her thighs and legs. She wanted him more than anything at the moment. He climbed her legs once more, nipping the skin as he went. She felt him dip lower and she felt the stubble of his chin brush against her most sensitive area. She opened up to him and he moved between her thighs. She moaned loudly as he plunged into her wet heat, tasting and loving her. He moved in determined circles over her flesh. She climbed the peak more and more as his movements increased. She felt exposed to him as he spread her wider and wider still to be able to taste of her fully. Soon the sweet rush filled her body as she crested the ultimate peak of desire.

“Derek, please.” She looked down at him, still moving still tasting her.

He rose then, trailing kisses along her thighs. She felt his hands under her, gripping her tightly as he lifted her off the bed. She felt him kiss her gently there once more before he positioned himself to enter her slowly. The feeling was heavenly as he stretched her to accommodate his size.

He moved slowly and carefully to ease into her over and over again. He wanted it as much as she did. She watched his face as he moved slowly and achingly. He took great time in his movements. She was climbing once more and wanted all of him. She moved her hips up to meet his and she felt his body shudder slightly. The tempo increased as he put her hips back down on the bed and laid the length of him on her body. Her knees were by her head as he leaned forward. He flicked his tongue over the peaked nipples pointing into the air. 

She moaned as he sucked on each one harder as he pushed into her, their hips grinding together. He was plummeting into her over and over, pushing and taking. The sound of their skin slapping and pounding into each other was numbingly perfect. She wanted to feel his desire and know he wanted her. She looked up at him as she crested another wave...

“Ciara…” he hissed out her name and kissed her as they both hit the glorious peak together.

He groaned loudly as he spilled himself into her. He held her there, just like that. His body was too heavy but she wanted it, wanted the closeness of him on her. She felt him roll off of her and off the bed. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of him still. She felt the coolness of something on her and looked down as he used a cloth to wipe her off. She languished in his ministrations. He was gentle as he cleaned all of her and then himself and moved to lie beside her on the bed. She closed her eyes, once more letting herself enjoy the feel of him there.  She knew he would want to talk, she knew it was necessary. For the moment though, she just wanted him.

Chapter Fifteen – Derek

He didn’t want to speak, didn’t want to say a word. What they had shared was perfect, and he knew more than ever that it was right. She belonged with him. There was always some reason they couldn’t make it work. She wouldn’t want to talk, she would want to run but not that time. No, he wanted to know what she felt, what she needed. She was furious with him about the money, but she would be fine. He wanted her safe, how did she not see how important she was to him. To what length even he didn’t know.

He pulled her closer to him, he felt rested, content with her. He was aware of her apprehension and he felt her change even before she moved. He let her go as she pulled away and sat up.

“Don’t, Ciara,” he requested quietly.

She slipped back on her shirt and turned to look at him. “Don’t what, Derek?” He frowned. He expected her to be upset or angry, not this… indifference.

“Is this how it’s going to be with us, Ciara? You can’t keep fighting me on this.” He stood and moved around the room to face her.

She folded her arms. “I don’t know what this is, Derek. We seem to go around and around all the time. We want to rip each other’s clothes off one minute and then rip into each other the next moment. Nothing about this is healthy.” She sighed as she pulled on her clothes.

“Don’t you want to figure out why? You came here to yell at me and instead we made love. This isn’t a simple situation, I want to know why, how can you not?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I want to avoid the heartbreak that comes with this between us. I’m not sure why we are so drawn to each other, or why we seem to infuriate each other either. When we are friends, when we just keep it that way, we seem to do the best, it’s finding a way to keep it that way that’s the problem.”