The Love Triangle (BWWM Romance) (51 page)

He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know how to do that, Ciara
, that’s just it.  Don’t know how to see you and not want to touch you.”

“That’s why I said what I did. I just need to go, away from here… away from you. It’s what’s best for us both. You can move on, find someone more fitting for your lifestyle.” She pulled on her shoes as she spoke.

He was pacing. “What does that mean Ciara, “more suited?” Why do you always think you’re not suited for me?”

She stood and faced him. “Answer me this, Derek, has anyone else you had here ever gone through what I went through today? Anyone else escorted out of the building?” He paused. “Exactly my point.”

She made her way to the door.

“The money… it’s too much, Derek. I have no choice but to keep working but make it right, please. I don’t need to feel like you’re paying me for anything other than what I do at your job.”

He put a hand on the door to keep her from leaving. “Do you ever think, Ciara, maybe running isn’t the issue? Maybe staying is… seeing where this goes may be the right choice?” He waited and watched.

“I can’t, Derek, I just can’t.” She left. He felt sadness rise up, threatening to do something stupid like go after her. He watched her from the window and was thankful her car started. She was so damn stubborn she couldn’t see how much he wanted to be with her.

Chapter Sixteen – Ciara

She was always crying, it seemed. She had left him there, walked out without saying a word about the truth. She knew she was in love with him, but he was always pushing for more than she could give. Her past kept her from happiness and until she found a way around it, there was nothing she could do.

He needed some beautiful woman on his arm, not someone like her. She knew they came from different places. It would never work. He had asked if she had ever considered staying. Did that mean he wanted her to? Either way, it was for the best. She pulled in and made her way up the stairs to get Antoine and order pizza to celebrate Mom’s first big paycheck.

He was still withdrawn, but the evening was more fun than they’d had together in a while. She asked about school and was surprised that he didn’t want to talk about it. He used to love discussing it, talking about his latest projects. He wasn’t willing to share anything with her anymore and it worried her. She would have to set up something with the teacher next week and see if he was having a hard time with anything. She got him settled in bed and was shocked to realize that she still had a few more tears to shed after she went to bed herself. It would get better soon, she had to believe that.

The sun was shining Monday as they made their way to the school. She waved at him as he went into class but he refused to be embarrassed by his mom being there. She bit into her thumb as she made her way back home. She had to be at work in an hour. She showered and made her way to work, desperately trying to forget about the last few days.

For a couple of weeks, things seem to be going well. Her paycheck was less, although not as low as she wanted. She accepted it as opposed to confronting him about it again. They had made some type of peace with one another and avoided any run ins. She worked hard but was often gone before he had a chance to pass by or see her. Maybe she would be able to move past him one day, but it still hurt to think about how life was passing her by.

She had once had such high hopes about meeting someone and then there had been Derek. Everything they had gone through made it clear that they were too complicated to be together. It certainly didn’t erase the pain she felt since he had been gone. She had been told that morning that he was on an extended leave. They were all doing paperwork and since it was Friday, the next week they would have to themselves. Part of her wanted to know, part of her hated being in such proximity to him that she knew about it at all. The truth of the matter was the job kept her close.

School was keeping her busy, at least. She was in three classes, but she would be through soon. After that, she would graduate with a Bachelor’s and she could find a job away from there and in a place where she could go heal. Antoine was starting to worry her more and more and she had a meeting that afternoon with his teacher. She hoped that perhaps she could shine some light on why he had been acting out so much lately. She made her way to the school and after fifteen minutes of waiting in the office, she finally went to the receptionist to ask for some assistance.

“Maybe you can help me, I’m supposed to meet Miss Witherspoon here at 2:30, but she seems to be running late or something. Is there some way someone could find her for me?”

The happy woman behind the counter was full of smiles. “Sure thing Miss… what was your name again?”

“Ciara, I’m Antoine’s mother.” She gave her a smile.

“Yes, that’s right, I’ll try and track her down.”

Ciara found her seat once more and glanced at the calendar on the wall. The month was flying by. It seemed only yesterday she and her father had enrolled Antoine there. She frowned for a second. Was it really the 17th? That would mean she had last seen Derek over a month ago. She sighed and sat back in her chair. Why did she think about him so much? If she could just forget about him, life would be so much easier. She finally saw Antoine’s teacher come around the corner.

“Miss Jones, how are you?” She gave her a huge smile.

“I’m well, I thought we had a meeting today, was I wrong?”

The teacher frowned slightly. “Well we did, but then Antoine went home early and I assumed you wanted to reschedule.”

“What do you mean Antoine went home early, he is in class isn’t he? I certainly didn’t pick him up early.”

A concerned look came over Miss Witherspoon’s face. “No, he left early this morning, Miss Jones, I assumed you were the one to pick him up.”

Ciara felt something akin to ice water flush over her body. Something was wrong, they had to be wrong. The two women rushed over to the counter and the teacher went behind the desk to go through the log book .She found the entry and showed her.

“I’m sorry, Miss Jones, it’s right here, that you signed him out at 9:45 a.m. If it wasn’t you, I’m not sure. Is there anyone else that may pick him up, that’s authorized to?”

Ciara could barely speak. “No, there is no one my father… he died as you know.”

“What about his father? I know he has been here a few times and they have left early once or twice. Perhaps he picked him up.”

“What?! His father threatened to kill me, and we haven’t seen him since. He doesn’t even know we are here. There is no way he was here, tell me he wasn’t here.”

“I’m calling the police.” Ciara slumped into a seat as the teacher called the police. Something was just wrong, that’s all. He had to be there somewhere. Maybe he went home for something.

“I am going to check at home and in my building, please wait for the police, I’ll be right back.” Ciara ran out of the building and down the few blocks to their building. She ran up to the apartment and found that someone had been there. The door was opened just slightly. She made her way inside and most of the apartment was in place.

She ran down the hall to Antoine’s room, afraid to look. She pushed open the door wide and saw a mess. Clothes were strewn across the floor and every drawer had been pulled out of his dresser. A lot of clothing was missing and she felt panic well up within her, strong and choking. She was terrified, why would Antoine leave and where would he go? Please don’t let Frank have him.

She made her way into the kitchen as the police arrived. She stood rooted to the spot as she gave them as much information that she could. It wasn’t until they asked her if there was anyone who would hurt him, or take him that she could think of. She knew who it was. She knew then who had taken him.

“I think I know who took him, I think it was his father. His name is Frank Warden. He threatened us in Detroit and we fled, trying to avoid him finding us. That was years ago, I don’t know why he would do this.” She sat down on the chair in her living room and rocked.

The police asked her more and more questions. She did her best to answer them all, all the while her mind was rushing through different scenarios about what could have happened to him, if he was safe and okay. If Frank was feeding him. He had told her he would make them pay, make her pay for leaving him and taking Antoine away.

He had been abusive for so long she wasn’t sure when she finally snapped and left. The first time he had caught her and threatened to hurt Antoine if she left. He had just been a baby then, her perfect baby. She stayed to keep him from getting hurt. Frank was never good to her after that. He hurt her, physically and mentally. She had once hoped it was true love and they would be together forever. He had been so sweet, so caring in the beginning. Then she had found him in bed with her friend and his ugly side came out.

She was pregnant and telling him kept him from really hurting her that day. Eventually her father had packed them up and they snuck off in the night. She had called once to talk to a friend of hers back home and she had told her of his threats. She knew then she could never call again, or go back home.

She paced the floor, wanting to do more, wanting to go out and find him herself but she knew she would serve no purpose. She sat there numb and terrified. She couldn’t cry, couldn’t do anything but hurt. She felt stiff and sick. Eventually the police left, all but two. They tapped her phone as they waited to hear something. She wasn’t sure what good that did, he didn’t know her number.

She clutched the phone in her hand waiting and hoping Antoine would call her. He had memorized the number from the beginning. He was such a good boy. She sat and stared out the window in the living room. She would sit there until she knew, until she heard something. When the two officers went into the hall, she felt herself relax a little more.

She was alone and the silence was deafening. She wanted to move, to scream, but nothing would happen, she was simply frozen. She went into his room, her movements methodical. She went through the things on his floor, working to put it back in order. He would want his room clean when he came home. She wanted him to know she was waiting for him to come home.

She straightened things in his room, rehung pictures on the wall that had fallen. She made his bed and found a ball cap Derek had bought him on the floor. She picked it up and curled up in his bed. She felt tears finally start to fall and she cried for her little boy. There was very little she could do, that feeling of being helpless was what made her hurt the most. She looked at the calendar on his wall. He had marked off the days of the week and taped up a picture of them at the park that day. He was such a good boy.

She wasn’t sure how late it was when she fell asleep, but she knew her sleep was restless and temporary. She would be up pacing again, unable to relax. What if Tony couldn’t sleep? How could she even consider it when he could be hurt? She made her way back into the kitchen in the dark and still held on to the phone in her hand. If she ever got her hands on Frank, she would make him pay. She sat at the table and put her face down on the cool surface. The world had changed since it happened and until Tony was home, nothing would ever be the same again. Finally as she sat there, her phone rang.

“Hello who is this?” She sounded panicked, even to her own ears.

“Hello, baby, guess who it is.” Just hearing his voice made her sick.

“Frank, what have you done, where’s Antoine?” she begged him.

“Oh now, Ciara, Antoine is just fine. He is a real good boy. He listens well, only had to punish him once and since then, he has listened to every word I tell him.”

“Frank, please please don’t hurt him.” She heard her voice crack and she wanted desperately to hear his voice.

“Easy now, I’m gonna let you go for now. Thing is, Ciara, I need some money, gonna start all over somewhere. You took my son, so the way I see it, you owe me. I’m sure you got cops all over that place. But don’t worry, Ciara , I’m gonna call you back real soon.”