Authors: Vacirca Vaughn
She stepped
into the room and froze.
Cedric froze.
And so did the
woman who was kneeling in front of him.
“What?
What? What?” Phoenix stuttered, blinking. “What?! You? What? I—”
“Phoenix!”
Cedric jumped up off the bed, knocking the woman onto her back on the
floor. “Baby! You’re home early! I, uh, this is, uh—” He
yanked his pants up.
The roaring in
Phoenix’s ears drowned out Cedric’s voice as she stared at the man she
loved. Her eyes stayed glued to his as she remembered their
year-and-a-half together, scanning each series of memories for a hint that he
was cheating on her. In a flash, she recalled the time they’d met, each
holiday and birthday they’d spent, each time they had made love, each time they
had socialized. She recalled the day he had moved into the apartment a
year prior, after losing his job, and the day he proposed five months earlier,
while they had been on a cruise to the Bahamas she had treated him to for
her
birthday. She recollected the day they had gone to pick out her ring that
she’d paid for. She saw the past weekend when they had gone to the church
and their banquet hall to make final payments on the bills for the wedding that
was taking place in two months. She reminisced about the night before
when they had enjoyed each other for hours with the lights
on.
He
had really
looked
at her that time.
She had felt
beautiful.
Questions
screamed in her mind but her lips and tongue could not move to formulate them.
“Baby, I—”
Cedric’s hand trembled as he buckled up his belt.
His voice was a
siren, alerting her of danger. It was then that Phoenix understood.
Her fiancé was
cheating on her in her own house.
And even worse
than that, her fiancé had turned her life into a cliché.
And
that
was unforgivable.
She pounced on
him, tears blurring the images before her. Her fists pounded his flesh
wherever they could connect with his tall, muscular frame.
“What are you
doing having sex with this woman in my house?” she screamed, biting,
scratching, pulling, and pounding.
Cedric tried in
vain to grab her arms. “Wait! Stop! Phoenix, please!”
Phoenix
wrestled away, ran to the hallway closet to grab a bat, and rushed back into
the room, swinging in every possible direction. She didn’t flinch when
she aimed for Cedric, who ducked, causing her to leave a huge crack in the
bedroom wall. She swung the bat so hard again, that she twisted and fell
back onto the bed.
“I will kill
you, you piece of—” Phoenix screamed as she reached for Cedric’s throat.
The other
woman’s eyes were wide with horror as she scrambled to gather her
belongings. Phoenix saw her trying to sneak out of the room.
“Where are you
going?” Phoenix let go of Cedric, snatched her ceramic lamp from her night table,
and hurled it at the woman. The lamp ricocheted against the wall before
exploding against the side of the woman’s head. The woman screamed as she
fell to the ground.
The wounded cry
was gasoline igniting the flame of Phoenix’s rage. She jumped off the bed
and ran to the woman who was bleeding on the side of her face. Phoenix
snatched her by her hair and yanked her up to her feet. “I am going to
kill you!” she screamed before punching the woman in the face and kicking
her. The petite, Asian woman was at least fifty pounds lighter than
Phoenix, who had begun swinging her around like a cheap purse.
Phoenix tossed her to the floor and turned quickly to retrieve her bat from the
bed. She swung at the woman who jumped out of the way in just enough time.
“I missed?”
Phoenix shrieked. “I missed?” She raised the bat way up over her
head and bought it crashing down, narrowly missing the side of the woman’s
head. The woman jumped up and ran. Phoenix charged and swung, this
time smashing the large mirror on the dresser.
“I am so going
to destroy you, you whore!”
“Fe, stop
it! You’re going to kill her!” Cedric boomed before wrenching the bat
from Phoenix and yanking her arms behind her in a vise-like grip. “You
could kill her, stop!”
The woman, only
clad in her bra, was curled up against the wall now, mewling like a sick
bird. Phoenix struggled against her fiancé growling, “Let me go, Cedric,
or I will kill
you.
You brought this heifer to my house to have sex
with, while I’m supposed to be out planning our wedding with my friends, and
you stand here concerned for
her?
Are you crazy? Let go of
me!”
Cedric was
breathing roughly. “
Shia
, get out of
here. Now!”
“No, Slut, you
stay right there. You came to my house to have sex with my fiancé,
right? Huh? Don’t leave on my account!” Phoenix trembled as she
watched the young woman gather her belongings and slip out of the door.
Phoenix kicked a leg backward into Cedric’s shin.
“Phoenix!”
Cedric yelled.
“You better
run, because if I
ever
find out who you are, I will come looking for
you, Slut. You can bet on that!” Phoenix shouted.
The front door
slammed.
Cedric waited a
few moments as Phoenix struggled and roared. “Look. I know I messed
up big time. You have every right to hate me. But I need you to
calm down, alright? I mean it, Fe, you
gotta
calm down before I can let you go.”
“Are you
serious? You cheat on me in our place, in our room, on our bed, and you
want to give me orders now? Really?” The fire blazed again and she bucked
her head back, intent on breaking his nose.
“
Ow
! You hit my mouth! I’m bleeding now!”
Sucking his teeth, Cedric yanked on her arms. “Fe! Calm down!”
Cedric loosened his grip but did not release her. “I want to talk about
this. I made a mistake and I am sorry I hurt you, but ain’t no cause to
go crazy like this, Fe. This isn’t even like you.”
“Oh?” Phoenix
twisted her head around so she could look into Cedric’s face. “Oh
really? Well, after almost two years, you sure don’t know me at all, do
you? This is
exactly
who I am when I walk into my space, and catch
the man I am supposed to marry in two months, getting oral favors from another
woman.” She twisted around and tried to pull her arms free. “Now
let me go,
durn
it! Now!”
“Not until you
pipe down, okay? I don’t want us to get into a physical
altercation. I know you want to kill me but remember that I am a
man. I don’t hit women, but I’m not going to let you hit me either.
Now, those shots you took earlier? Fine! I deserved those and much worse,
but I am not going to let this thing get physical any more. I ain’t going
to jail for anybody, ever again. Got me?”
“So why the
heck did you bring this chick into my house? There was only one way out
of that one—jail or the hospital! What did you
think
was going to
happen if I caught y’all? Did you even
think
of that before you
brought her? Why here? Did you
think
about how you would
feel rolling up into your own apartment, only to find your woman sucking some
man’s—”
“I know!
Fe, listen, I am so sorry.”
“Sorry?”
In a burst of adrenalin-fueled rage, Phoenix wretched her arm away and swung
quickly at Cedric’s face, connecting her fist with his cheek. “Sorry?”
She pushed him back on the bed, jumped on top of him, pummeling Cedric’s face
and neck. “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! You killed me, Cedric!
In my own house, you destroyed me!” She punched and poked and pulled and
pushed. “Sorry! I’ll kill you! We were getting married!
Married! In two months! And you’re sorry!” She grabbed his cheeks
with her nails and dug. Blood spattered from her fingertips as three of
her nails broke against his face.
“
Arrraahhh
!” Cedric was struggling to move from under
Phoenix’s weight while trying to grab her hands away from his face.
“Stop!” In a move that knocked Phoenix’s wind out of her, her flipped her
onto her back and grabbed her throat. “Stop it! I will knock you
out, Fe, I mean it.”
Phoenix’s chest
heaved as she regarded him through narrowed slits. Her lip trembled when
she finally whispered. “Get off of me, Cedric.”
“No. This
can’t go no further. It’s clear I
gotta
leave before
I end up doing something I’ll regret. When you calm down enough to let me
leave peacefully, I will let go. Now calm your behind down, Fe. I
mean it.”
Phoenix
continued to breathe, her hatred pounding in her head. Again memories
bombarded her as questions formed in her mind. And suddenly, like someone
letting the air out of tire, the fight seeped out of her. Tears slipped
out of her eyes.
After several
minutes of staring at each other, Cedric loosened his grip. “I am going
to get up, Fe. I am going to let go now. I know you want to kill
me, but if this thing goes further, one of us
will
get killed and regret
it forever. I am not going to say anything else for now. But when
you are ready to talk about this, I’ll be ready too.”
“You are so
level-headed now, huh?” Phoenix swallowed the saliva that had pooled on the tip
of her tongue. She struggled against the urge to spit in his face.
Cedric blinked
back the resignation shining in his eyes. Slowly he released Phoenix’s
hands and pulled himself from his position on top of her. He crawled
backwards on the bed, never taking his eyes off of her, until he reached the
edge. He stepped down and stood, poised and ready.
Phoenix
continued to weep, her silent whimpers rising in decibel until they become
tormented wails. “Why?” she shrieked. “I thought you loved me, I
thought you wanted to marry me. You said—”
“I do,
Fe. I do… love you. I am so—”
Phoenix shot up
from the bed into a sitting position. “Do
not
tell me you’re sorry
again! I want to know why you are cheating.”
Cedric took a
step back from the bed and folded his arms. “It just happened and—”
Phoenix began
to laugh. “Just happened? Man, for real? I come home and
there is food that was specially prepared in the kitchen. There was a
nice table set up with roses and my good silverware. There was
music! There were candles! Ambience! Something you plan and put
together to show someone you care about them! Something you do for your
girl, or your fiancée, maybe? But you didn’t do it for me, the woman you
were going to marry in less than sixty days, the woman who has been with you
through the worst time of your life! You did it for some Asian woman, who
was in our room with you, on two knees, servicing you!”
Cedric covered
his mouth, as if the account of what Phoenix had described was shocking,
devastating news.
“And you know
what kills me, Cedric? I was so excited that you had done something like
that for me. I mean, sure we have sex or go out once in a blue, but that
was the first time in almost
two years
that I came home to something
beautiful that I thought was just for me!”
Phoenix began
shaking all over as she buried her face in her hands. “I take care of you
Cedric! I pay all the bills, give you money, and help you take care of
your son. I have every day since you lost your job a year ago. I
paid for my own engagement ring and have been paying, with my mother’s help,
for our wedding. I don’t get it! Why are you cheating on me? How long ago
did it start? Where did you meet the slut?”
Cedric stood
watching Phoenix, one hand covering his mouth and the other clutching his
stomach.
“Well?!”
Phoenix screamed.
Cedric’s
shoulders slumped with the weight of his failed future. “It started a few
weeks ago. I met her at the Tuba Lounge when I was hanging with
Cleflo
and Tom-Tom for that open mike event. Her and
her two friends came over and talked to us. We had a booth and it was
standing room only, so they asked if we would share our spot with ‘
em
.
Cleflo
agreed. We
ain’t see anything wrong with it.”
Phoenix sucked
her teeth. “Oh, well it wasn’t, not for
Clefo
and Tom-Tom ‘cause both of them are single. You, however, were engaged to
be married.”
“I know,
Fe. I didn’t mean any harm. We let them sit, let them buy us a
round of drinks since we shared our spot. We just talked.”
“So how did it
get from that to walking in on my fiancé receiving oral favors from a strange
woman in my bedroom?”
“I…” Cedric
shrugged and began to pace. “See, I never meant to hurt you, Fe. I
guess, me and
Shia
—”
“Don’t say her
name to me ever again, Cedric, you hear me?” Phoenix roared, her fists
clenched.
“Sorry,
Fe. So
she
and her friends told us that they had just moved out
here to take summer classes at Columbia from South San Francisco. They
told us they didn’t know the area that much and since Tom and Clef were into
her friends, we ended up leaving the Tuba and walking around Harlem.”
“No wonder you
haven’t gotten a job in over a year, or a rap contract for that matter.
You’ve been too busy out there looking at girls!” Phoenix sneered.
“So let me get this straight. You leave here to hang out with your two
college friends, to do your usual open mike thing, so you can get discovered as
a rapper, and somehow up end on a group date?”
Sheepishly,
Cedric shrugged before bowing his head. “Yeah.”
“I see.
So did you tell Miss Asian Exchange Student that you were engaged?”
“I did.
That first night. She came on to me, telling me she has always liked
black men and that she found me attractive. And I told her right away.”