The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (126 page)

     Alfred Hersland had ambition in him. Julia Hersland had ambition for living. Not either one or the other of them had really sense for living, not either one or the other was really in the whole of living succeeding or failing. They had each of them ambition in them. They had ambition differently in them each one of them. Mr. Dehning had ambition in living. Mrs. Dehning had ambition. This is to be now some description of ambition, and honest living, and loving being and daily living and succeeding and failing in each one of them.
     Alfred Hersland then was for Dehning family living, not honest in daily living. He was much later when he was working with some men then fairly successful in living. He could be then when working with certain men quite a successful enough one in living. He had not really sense for living, he had not really not any sense for living. He had as I was saying not any ambition in him from the resisting, from the engulfing being in him. He had a feeling from the resisting and engulfing being in him some feeling of succeeding in living, of feeling something elegant in him in living for him. He had then too, from the resisting and engulfing being in him with this feeling of feeling something being quite elegant in him and in living and some feeling of succeeding being an elegant thing in being living, quite a good deal of vanity for living. As I was saying really aspiration and ambition was really stupid being in him because really he was one not winning by being resisting, really not winning by being engulfing. He had aspiration in him, he had ambition in him, as I was saying he had not really feeling of anything being important in him until he was loving and wanting to stop studying to marry that one and then not wanting to marry that one. He had not ambition and aspiration in him by the being of him. He had aspiration and ambition in him, beginning when something was important to him, as something of emotion, as certainly a good deal of intention. So then aspiration and ambition as emotion was almost sentimental being in him it was not in him from being one able to be succeeding able to be winning by the being in him, aspiration and ambition as intention was really stupid being in him, they were not from being in him but from needing to be having what he needed to be having to have anything be important to him which was not from the being in him important to him. He was then certainly for Dehning family living not honest for daily living and to himself then he was a man having it in him to have that he was not quite certain that to be a dead one was to be really not a dead one. He had some loving feeling in him, he could with not winning resisting and engulfing being have violent temper sometimes in him. He was one then to Dehning family living not honest in daily living. He was one very much later, and working with some men, not really not successful in living.
     Certainly some are loving, some are honest, some are good ones, some are thinking in living, certainly there are some in living having some of thinking, loving, good being, honesty in them. Some have certainly some of something really in them. Certainly they have.
     Some have pretty honest living in them always in their daily living and are liking it very well that they have some reputation for this thing. Mr. Dehning really was such a one. Some come to be sometime completely certain that they are completely honest ones in living and then all their living they are completely freely attacking with this thing. Julia Dehning was such a one. She was really not feeling it as being that there was for her a reputation of being an honest one in living, she liked it that the Dehning family living, Mr. Dehning, had a complete reputation of honest living in daily living, her being an honest one in daily living was a thing when she came to be living with it inside her completely in her she could be using all her living for all the attacking she was ever doing to be winning. Alfred Hersland was not believing that not every one was thinking that he was an honest enough one for daily living. He never really was certain that any one excepting Mr. Dehning was really believing that he was not an honest man for any kind of daily living. He never was really certain that Julia could have really been believing this thing if she had not been then and all of her living in Dehning family living. Julia was certain of this thing that Alfred Hersland was not honest enough for daily living when she came to living in married living. She came very quickly to be very certain that to her then she was one living in her being which was one being complete in honest living and she was soon then coming to be attacking in all her living with this thing. Mr. Dehning as I was saying was one having completely in him for him the reputation of being one really completely honest enough for any daily living. Mrs. Dehning was one honest enough for any daily living, and she had feeling of Dehning family living having a reputation for this thing but the kind of reputation she was always feeling they were having was the kind one comes to be having when one is a dead one, when one is not any longer in living, she was really in living quite completely an honest one. Each one then of the four of them Mr. Dehning, Alfred Hersland, Julia Hersland and Mrs. Dehning had a different feeling in their having reputation of being an honest enough one for living.
     This is then what was happening. Mr. Dehning had come quite slowly to be certain that Alfred Hersland was completely not an honest enough man for any honest enough daily living. Mr. Dehning had come quite slowly enough to be certain of this thing. He had as I was saying never been really certain that Alfred Hersland was really for him in Dehning family living and then he was certain enough of this thing to be pretty nearly completely listening to Alfred Hersland telling about anything if needed to be doing to be really living in daily living and then he was still not quite entirely completely listening and he was already then giving Alfred Hersland what Alfred Hersland was needing to be beginning to be living in daily living to be beginning to be living to be one succeeding in living, Mr. Dehning then certainly came to be certain that Alfred Hersland was not honest enough for any daily living and Alfred Hersland was quite certain then that Mr. Dehning was completely in him certain of this thing. Mr. Dehning did not see Alfred Hersland any more at all then to speak at all to him in any daily living. Mr. Dehning was certainly certain that he could convince any one that certainly Alfred Hersland was not honest for any daily living. Mr. Dehning could certainly convince almost any one of this thing. Mr. Dehning did certainly not just then begin anything to convince any one of this thing.
     Julia Hersland came very quickly to be really certain that Alfred Hersland was not an honest one for any daily living and as I was saying she was one having then certainly complete courage for being one going on being living. She knew then as being in her that she was one being honest always in being one being living, having courage always for being one going to be going on being living. She was always then needing to be one going to be learning everything. This has been then a complete description. She was quickly certain that Alfred Hersland was not honest for any daily living. This then was then for Alfred Hersland not a serious thing, this was then not in him then as important in him, as being living then in him as being really something really exciting. As I was saying in a way Julia Hersland was not an interesting one in being living. She was an interesting one in being living to some, that will be again more history of her.
     Mrs. Dehning was certainly not certain from any being in her that Alfred Hersland was not honest enough for any daily living. She could and did come to be quite certain of this thing. As I said of her she was completely an honest one in being one being living. As I was saying she was feeling reputation as being as if some one were already a dead one. As I was saying she was one mostly attacking harshly in living but not for any winning. As I was saying she had sense for living. As I was saying she was always being in her stupid being in being one feeling anything. So then she was not certain from any being in her being there to her in her that Alfred Hersland was not honest enough for any daily living. She certainly came to be certain of this thing. So then she was going on talking to Allred Hersland for quite a long time in daily living and then it came that to hear him or to see him or to know of him made her completely then a nervous one.
     I will be telling about feeling being in George Dehning and Hortense Dehning in the history of David Hersland that will certainly sometime be written.
     I have given a description of Alfred Hersland and Julia Hersland not succeeding in married living, of Alfred Hersland not succeeding in being one beginning to be succeeding in living from being in Dehning family living. As I was saying later he was not failing in living, he was fairly succeeding, later when he was working with some other men.
     This is to be now more history of married living of Mr. and Mrs. Hersland and of Mr. Dehning living and Mrs. Dehning being living.
     The Herslands Alfred and Julia were living married living. They had a baby and it was quite a strong well one but it did not live to be a very old one. It got sick and died of something. As I was saying Julia loved babies being little babies and her children. This first one was a little boy and Mrs. Dehning thought that he was one looking very much like the father of him. Mr. Dehning had seen him and saw him very often and he was glad that his daughter Julia had a baby and loved him.
     They had later Julia and Alfred another child and this one was a girl and Mrs. Dehning was certain that this one would be in Dehning family living, this one was already looking like the mother of her. Mr. Dehning often saw her when the nurse was with her, the baby, and he liked it very much that Julia was happy in having a little girl who was like her. Then there was a little boy who was quite a weak little one and about this one it was not quite certain although Mrs. Dehning was pretty nearly certain that he was quite a good deal like the father of him. This one was quite a weak little one in commencing but he came to be quite a strong enough little one a little later in his living. He was certainly a good deal like the father of him, Mrs. Dehning often said this about him but he had it a little in him to be like his young uncle George Dehning. Mrs. Dehning did not say this very often Mr. and Mrs. Hersland then were living then married living as I am saying.
     The Herslands Alfred and Julia Hersland did not go on being in married living. It was a natural thing as I was saying that they should not be succeeding in married living, the two of them.
     As I was saying Alfred Hersland came later to loving another. Julia Hersland too came later to loving another. Each one of them as I was saying was not succeeding was not failing really in living.
     I can feel myself in myself going to be being an old one. I can feel being in some going to be old ones in the living of these and I can not feel being in some when these are going to be beginning to be old ones. I can certainly more and more feel old being going to be in men and in women in each one. I am beginning a little to feel young being having been, very young being having been in each one in all women and all men. I certainly can feel being old ones in a good many now when I am feeling being in them. I like to be feeling them being old ones in every little thing in every piece of being in them. I cannot so well feel being in them having been very young in them. I am a little beginning to feel this thing, I am just commencing then in really feeling this thing. I am feeling again and again in myself going to be an old one. I do not like this thing, I certainly do like this thing. I certainly do like ending being in all men and in all women. I certainly do not at all like this thing. I certainly have completely a queer disturbed mixed with sombre feeling in this thing. I certainly do really completely need feeling certainly this thing in every one that each one is sometime ending in being living.
     Alfred Hersland and Julia Hersland went on then for sometime being living. Sometime then they went on being living in married living with each other and then they were not and then they had more living in them and then one and then the other one was ended in being living. This is then to be all history of them. I will be going on to the ending in all description of every one, of any one.
     How can anything be different from what it is. I do not know any such a thing. Very many are knowing this. I am not knowing this thing.
     I am not knowing anything being different from what it is. Very many are knowing everything being different from what it is. Once this was to me an astonishing thing. Now it is not to me at all an astonishing thing.
     I am thinking now about everything being what it is, everything not being what it is, something being what it is, nothing being what it is, something not being what it is to some, I am thinking of this thing and I am thinking about sense for living in men and women.
     I would like to be thinking about some being practical in their being and some not being that thing in their being but I am not just now feeling any understanding of this thing and so I am not thinking about this thing. I have been expecting some time to be soon thinking about this thing. I am not as I have just been saying thinking now about this thing. I am thinking now as I have been saying about something being what it is, not being what it is to some men and some women. I am thinking about every one having it or not having it that something that everything is what it is, not what it is to them each one of them, that nothing is what it is, to some one. I am too thinking and going soon now to be telling very much about sense for living in men and women.
     Those in Dehning daily living, those in Hersland daily living each one of them came to know some men and women, in being one being living. Each one any one having living being has some sense for living or has not any sense for living pretty nearly not any sense for living. This is to be now some description of sense for living in men and women.
     Some have sense for living from having realisation in them that each thing they are knowing is such a thing as it is to them and really knowing this in them. Each thing has then to some of such of them the value that thing has really for any one needing that thing for being one going on living. Some are knowing in them that each thing they are knowing in living is the thing that thing really is being but they are not feeling that thing as really value to any one for any one to be going on living. I will sometime be telling some more about this thing.