The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (122 page)

     Julia Dehning was quite a sweet one to some, poignantly sweet one and generous in living and having careless domination in living and having thoughtlessness in being one needing everything and having complete courage always in being one always being living, in being one winning learning to be living. This was the feeling some had all her living in Julia Dehning. Some had different feeling in her living in her. Mostly every one had a feeling of courage for being one needing living in her all of her living. Mostly every one was feeling in her that she was needing to be feeling learning everything because anything could feed her. Some had a certain feeling that she was not ever learning anything in living. Some were certain that she had really sense for living, some were certain that she did not have in her at all sense for living, some were never really certain about this thing about her.
     She was one certainly having generous emotion in the sense that she was knowing she was attacking in living to be winning what was not for herself as a thing to be enjoying but what was needed so that she could be one having honest living, having earnest learning living, having Dehning family living. She was one that to herself and mostly every one was completely living for honest living, for learning living, for Dehning family living. Really she was not learning anything in living, really she could never have the last courage of knowing that sometime she was not honest in living, really she was needing loving and support in Dehning family living. Really then it could only come to any one as a slow thing to be realising that she had not complete courage in being one living, that she had not sense for living. So then she could have it really in her that it was sweet and generous and aspiring for her to be as harsh as crude as active as eager in attacking as she could have strength for it in her being. And this was right for her to herself and to mostly any one feeling loving being in her. This is true of very many having attacking being in them and poignant and generous loving being in them as complete being for them. This then was not stupid being in her, stupid being in her was resisting having any changing in the attacking being of her, having not any sensitiveness of being in her from more living in her. This made of her one not learning anything in living, having real then not sense for living. I will tell more gradually about this thing.
     Alfred Hersland had ambition in him, Julia Dehning had ambition. Not either one or the other of them as I was saying was really failing in living, was really succeeding, had really sense for living, was really defeated by living.
     Alfred Hersland had aspiration in living, had an aspiration to be succeeding. Julia Dehning had aspiration in living, had aspiration in being one learning and to be then completely living. Alfred Hersland had failing in him had failing to be one succeeding in something, Julia Dehning was then one not succeeding in being, was one not really learning anything for living. It was then right that they should have come to be two loving one another and then coming to marrying and then coming to be not succeeding in married living. Some have it right for them to be loving and marrying and succeeding in married living, some have it right from the being in them to be loving each other and marrying and not succeeding then in having married living in them for those two of them together then. Some have it to be right for them from the being in them to be loving one another then and not then to be marrying. Some who are loving one another do not have it really that it is right from the being in them that they are loving for each other then. And then it is right from being in some one that that one should love some one, should not love some one, should be loved by some one, should not be loved by some one. Anyway it certainly was alright from the being in them that Alfred Hersland and Julia Dehning should come to be loving one another and marrying and not succeeding in their married living.
     They were married then and they did not succeed in their married living together then. They were each one of them not really succeeding not really failing in their living.
     Really it is a very difficult thing in living for some to be certain that they are believing in loving, that they are believing in being honest in living, that they are believing in any one being a good one. It is so terribly mixed up and how does one know living, loving, thinking, honest being, feeling, goodness in living, and yet one is doing thinking, living, loving, honest action, goodness in living, and some one else is being a good one, an honest one, a loving one, a thinking one, a feeling one and always then one is knowing everything in one and one is not believing what one is knowing inside them and one is knowing what is going on in them and one is not believing that thing and how then is one really certain that loving and feeling and thinking and goodness and honesty is in them and how is one not certain and what is then the satisfaction of having been of being of going to be being a living one and that one is not certain that loving that thinking that honesty that goodness is something in them and that one is not then certain. One is saying, of course he would do that thing, he is a middle aged man and he needs to do that thing, he needs to do that thing, yes I have a passion, I have a passion for my children, yes he has a passion, he has a passion for his reputation, he is a middle aged man and he has a chance to do that thing, of course he will do that thing, why should he not do that thing, it is honest for him a middle aged man to do that thing, they need that thing or else they would not pay him to do that thing, of course he is a loving man, of course he loves his reputation, of course he is a middle aged man, of course he has three years to make him a very rich man, of course he is an honest man, of course he is a good man, I respect him, everybody respects him, he loves his reputation, he has a very good reputation, certainly some are loving, some are honest, some are good ones, some are thinking in living, certainly some are certain of this thing, certainly I am certain to be certain of this thing.
     I am certain to be certain of the thing that some have loving in them, that some have thinking in them, that some have honest action in them, that some have goodness in them, that every one has being in being living. I am certain to be certain of this thing with some kind of meaning and I am not then going to be terribly in a twitter in me about this thing. I am going to be certain of this thing, and why not be certain of this thing why not be certain of this thing as certain as of being being in every one having living as being in them. I am going to be certain of this thing. I am going now to be describing honesty and goodness and loving and thinking and living in Julia Dehning and Alfred Hersland.
     To some it is an encouraging thing a very encouraging thing that mostly every one has plenty of courage in them for daily living. To some it is a wonderful thing that not everything scares every one. It is so easy for some to be scared by mostly everything, by every little bit of daily living, it is a very fine thing, a fine fine thing for such of them to be really certain that not everybody is scared by everything. Very often some are living a long time in living believing that every one is really scared by everything. Some are not ever really believing that any one is scared by everything. As I was saying it is certainly an encouraging thing to some that some are certainly loving, some are certainly thinking, some are certainly feeling, some are certainly honest ones, some are certainly good ones. I have said that this is to be a description of being in Julia Dehning and Alfred Hersland, I am remembering this thing, that is certain.
     Mr. Dehning soon came to thinking that Alfred Hersland was not an honest man. Julia Hersland soon came to be certain that Alfred Hersland was not an honest one. Mr. Dehning was an honest enough man in living. That is certain.
     Julia Dehning and Alfred Hersland were married and commenced being together for all of their daily living. Mr. Dehning came to think that Alfred Hersland was not an honest enough man to have in the Dehning family daily living. Julia Hersland was quite certain that Alfred Hersland was not an honest enough one for any Dehning family living. The Dehning family were certainly quite honest ones for daily living. Alfred Hersland certainly was not quite such an honest one in some of his daily-living.
     It is to some a quite difficult thing to be certain that they have loving, that they have thinking, that they have feeling, that they have honest daily living, that they have goodness in them. It is not at all a difficult thing for some to be certain of themselves in living, to be certain about other ones in living whether they are loving, whether they are feeling, whether they are honest ones, whether they are good ones, whether they are thinking in all of their living. As I was saying Mr. Dehning came to be thinking that Alfred Hersland was not an honest man enough for Dehning family living. As I was saying Julia Hersland came to be quite soon quite entirely certain that Alfred Hersland was not an honest enough one to be having as one having with her all his daily living. As I was saying Alfred Hersland was one really not failing really not succeeding in living, he was one having some aspiration for succeeding in living, he was one having engulfing resisting being in him, he was one having some loving being in him, he was one having some thinking in him, he was one certainly not going to be honest enough in the Dehning family way of living.
     They all of them had some loving feeling in them. Mr. Dehning, Mrs. Dehning, Julia Hersland and Alfred Hersland. They each one of them certainly could have some loving feeling in them. They each one of them could have very little loving feeling in them. In living Dehning family living each one had in them some loving feeling. Alfred Hersland had some loving feeling in him. The Dehning family living as I said before was very right very rich American living quite pleasantly, quite generously, reasonably honestly, reasonably lovingly, somewhat urgently existing. Julia Hersland in married living was expecting different living from Dehning family living, so she was thinking, she wanted a very much more earnest and exciting American living than the Dehning family living and always then it was certain that in her she was certain that she had it in her to be really having Dehning family living as every one reasonably good ones had it to have in them, Alfred Hersland was not really then of Dehning family living, Julia was really then always of Dehning family living. Mr. Dehning was then fairly slowly quite certain that Alfred Hersand was not such a reasonably honest one as Mr. Dehning needed for business living. Julia Hersland had come fairly quickly to be certain that Alfred Hersland was not the kind of a one she needed for fairly honest daily living, Alfred Hersland was really not failing then, really not succeeding then in living, Alfred Hersland had then important feeling for being one aspiring to succeeding in living. Alfred Hersland had then some loving feeling in him, that was not then to him in him important feeling. Julia had then in living loving feeling, that was then important feeling in her to her then. Mr. Dehning had some loving feeling in him then, he always had some loving feeling in him, this was always important to him in him. Mrs. Dehning had some loving feeling in her, this was not important then to her in her or really then to any one.
     Alfred Hersland was then not really succeeding not really failing in living. Mr. Dehning as I said of him had it in him some then, he had it in him all his living, he had it in him more and more in his living to be listening to any one wanting to do anything. He was quite entirely one listening to any one wanting to do anything. Mostly in living he was a man quite certainly judging that some men would do and some men would not do something and always he had it in him to be listening to any one telling about doing anything. Alfred Hersland as I was saying was married to Julia Dehning. Alfred Hersland as I was saying was not really then failing was not really then succeeding in living.
     Mr. Dehning was an honest man. He surely was an honest enough man. The Dehning family each one of them was certain sometime in her in him that they were honest ones for living. The Dehning family surely each one sometime were certain that they were honest enough for living. They were each one sometime certain that they were really honest ones in living each one sometime in her or in him. The time came sometime to Julia Dehning when she was surely certain that she was one honest in living.
     It was easy for Julia Dehning to be certain sometime that she was completely an honest one for living. It was never possible then that she should not be certain that she was completely an honest one for living. It was quite easy surely for Julia Dehning to be certain that she was completely an honest one, that Dehning family living was completely an honest enough one for any living. It was quite certainly easy for Julia Hersland to be certain sometime that she was one completely honest for daily living. It was certainly then certain that she would be then all her living certain that she was certainly a completely honest one for all daily living. She could certainly be certain that Alfred Hersland was not a completely honest one for daily living. Julia Hersland was then one resisting all her living having in her any changing in being one being one way of being an attacking one. In a way Julia Hersland was succeeding, in a way Julia Hersland was not succeeding in living.
     Julia Hersland had some loving feeling in her, Alfred Hersland had some loving feeling in him. Mr. Dehning had some loving feeling in him, Mrs. Dehning had some loving feeling in her, George Dehning had some loving feeling in him, Hortense Dehning had some loving feeling in her. This is to be now histories of each one of them.
     Mr. Dehning was whatever any one thought him. Some are really what mostly every one thinks such a one is in living. Mr. Dehning was such a one. Mr. Dehning then in a way made Dehning family living. Julia Hersland came to be certain that she was one having Dehning family living as beginning of all being in her. As I said she was one wanting to be learning anything, needing everything as anything could feed her for her being one doing living. As I said once in telling of her loving and marrying Alfred Hersland he was one to her really doing learning in living. Always as I was saying she was not doing any learning for living. As I was saying sometime she came to be certain that she was a completely honest one for living. This was in her all her living then as really every bit of learning living in her living. She was one certain that she was an honest one for all daily living. She was certain that Dehning family living was honest enough for all daily living. She came to be quite certain that Alfred Hersland was not honest enough for any daily living. This was in her then sometime and always then she was certain of this thing all the rest then of her living and as I was saying she was one completely resisting any changing in the attacking being that was really living in her. All her living then too she was going on learning everything and alwaysthén really she was one succeeding some, not succeeding some, more, sometime quite failing in living. Really then as I was saying perhaps she had not really at all sense for living. She married Alfred Hersland, she came quite soon to be certain he was not honest really for any daily living. She came to be quite certain then that she was a completely honest one for daily living, that Dehning family living was a completely honest one for family living. As I was saying she had some loving being ill her, Alfred Hersland had some loving being in him, Mr. Dehning had certainly some loving being in him, Mrs. Dehning had some loving being, George Dehning had loving being in him, Hortense Dehning had some loving being as being in her living. This is to be now then again and again histories of all of each one of them.