The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (34 page)

     There are many kinds of women and several of several kinds of them were servants living in the house with the Hersland family and mostly those were older women but sometimes Mrs. Hersland was training a young one.
     As I was saying Mrs. Hersland did not know she did not like to train young ones and mostly they did not stay long but once there was a little blond one who hung on. She never did any better in her cleaning or cooking than in the beginning, she always every minute needed directing, Mrs. Hersland never knew she did not like to do this directing, she never knew that she did not like it that with such a one she could not have rightly an injured or an angry feeling. At last she did have rightly an injured and an angry feeling and that was for all of them then the end of that one.
     Soon there will be a history of every kind of men and every kind of women and every way any one can think about them. Soon then there will be a history of every man and every woman and every kind of being they ever have or could have in them. Sometime there will be a history of all of them, and now to begin again with the servant girl being and the servant being and the history of all of them who lived in the house with the Hersland family then when Mrs. Hersland was beginning to have in her strongest inside the feeling of being herself in her.
     There were then many of them though mostly each one stayed a long time with them but in these years of the Hersland family's middle living with servants and seamstresses and governesses and dependents living in the house with them, there were in all many women that gave to Mrs. Hersland her important feeling.
     There were then a few young girls who lived at some time in the house with them, some with servant girl nature in them, some with the one kind the independent dependent kind of nature in them, some with the other kind the dependent independent kind of nature in them. These as I was saying mostly did not stay long to get training, Mrs. Hersland never knew she did not want them, she never said she would not take them, after the one who stayed a long time and then gave to Mrs. Hersland a really angry feeling Mrs. Hersland never had one.
     One of the foreign women, she was an older woman when she lived with them, she was such a one; she had servant girl being, she had the dependent independent servant girl being, she stayed sometime with the Hersland family as the cook for them, she had in her the servant girl being of the dependent independent kind all through her living, there will be a history of this one.
     Some young women who had servant girl nature in them came to know the Hersland family in their middle living, not as servants to them, some as dependents on them, some as living in the small houses near them, one was in a way of them in their living she was of the family of one of the governesses and they came later the Hersland children all three of them to know many of such of them.
     Soon then there will be a history of every kind of men and women and of all the mixtures in them, sometime there will be a history of every man and every woman who ever were or are or will be living and of the kind of nature in them and the way it comes out from them from their beginning to their ending, sometime then there will be a history of each one of them and of the many millions always being made just like them, there will be sometime a history of all of them, there will be a history of them and now there is here a beginning.
     There are then many millions always being made of women who have in all their living always from their beginning to their ending servant girl nature in them. Some of such of them are pretty little girls and happy in their living, some of such of them have much trouble in their living. There are then always many millions, in all the ways of living women have made for them, there are always many millions who have always in them all through their living from their beginning to their ending this servant girl nature in them, there will be now such a history of some of such of them, there will be now a history of some of the kinds of them, there will be now a description of the two kinds of them, the two kinds that divide all the kinds of men and women and sometime there will be a history of all of such of them, women who have such a servant girl nature in them, all of such of them who ever were or are or will be living.
     Sometime then there will be a history of all women and all men, of all the men and all the women, of every one of them, of the mixtures in them of the bottom nature and other natures in them, of themselves inside them, there will be then a history of all of them of all their being and how it comes out from them from their beginning to their ending. Sometime there will be then such a history of every one who ever was or is or will be living, and this is not for anybody's reading, this is to give to everybody in their living the last end to being, it makes it so of them real being, it makes for each one who ever is or was or can be living a real continuing and always as one looks more and more at each one, as one sees them walking, eating, sitting, sewing, working, sleeping, being babies, children, young grown men and women, grown up men and women, growing old men and women, old men and old women, as one sees them every moment in their being there must be sometime a history of them, there must be sometime a history of each one of them and of the nature or natures in them, of themselves to themselves in their living, of the nature or natures mixed up in them and the coming out of this being in them from them from their beginning to their ending. Sometime there will be a history of all of the kinds of them and of each one of all the millions of each kind of them.
     There are then always many millions being made of women who have in them servant girl nature always in them, there are always then there are always being made then many millions who have a little attacking and mostly scared dependent weakness in them, there are always being made then many millions of them who have a scared timid submission in them with a resisting somewhere sometime in them. There are always some then of the many millions of this first kind of them the independent dependent kind of them who never have it in them to have any such attacking in them, there are more of them of the many millions of this first kind of them, who have very little in them of the scared weakness in them, there are some of them who have in them such a weakness as meekness in them, some of them have this in them as gentle pretty young innocence inside them, there are all kinds of mixtures in them then in the many millions of this kind of them in the many kinds of living they have in them. In the second kind of them the dependent independent kind of them who have too all through their living servant girl nature in them, in this kind of them there are many of them who have a scared timid submission in them with a resisting sometime somewhere in them, there are many of them who have this submission as a patient meekness in them, they have not it in them many of such of them to ever choose their own way in living, to choose their own loving, to choose their own existing at any moment in their living, sometimes sometime some of such ones of them have resisting in them, sometimes this is in them a stubborn way they have in them, sometimes it is from too much directing of them and then they have resisting in them, sometimes from some one around them dependent on them, sometimes from feeling sometime in their living, feeling themselves inside them. There are many millions then of women who have always in them all their living this servant girl being inside them, always as it is in all men and women these are all of the one kind or the other kind of them of the independent dependent having attacking more or less sometime in them, of dependent independent who can have sometime resisting in them.
     In all loving, in all the many millions always loving mostly there is one of them one of the two of them who is of the kind of them who have independent dependent nature in them, this one always in the two of them in loving does attacking in loving, sometimes it is in the man sometimes in the woman, and the other one then is of them who have dependent independent nature in them and these can have sometime more or less resisting in them, this makes the pair of them and this is always true in loving. This is not always clear in the beginning of a loving, sometimes it is the resisting that is in appearance like attacking, sometimes the attacking that has stubbornness or weakness in it like resisting but more and more in loving more and more in their living this nature in them comes out of them in the repeating that is in all real being. It is true then that always every one is of one kind or the other kind of them the independent dependent or the dependent independent kind of them. It is hard to tell it about them, to describe it how each one is of the kind of them that is in that one. It is hard to tell it about them because the same words can describe all of them the one and the other kind of them, they are very different the one from the other kind of them, more and more perhaps it will come out clearly about them. It is hard to describe it in them the kind of being each one has in them, it is hard to describe it in them it is hard to know it in them, it is only slowly the two kinds of them come to be clear to every one who listens to the repeating that comes out of them, who sees the repeating that is in them the repeating of the bottom nature of them. Sometimes resisting comes like attacking, sometimes attacking seems like resisting, slowly it comes out from each one the kind of nature in them. So then this makes always a pair of them and this is always true in successful loving and this will soon then be a history of every kind of loving and how it comes from every one the nature of them.
     Mrs. Hersland had dependent independent being, she could sometime in her have resisting. This is now a history of her and the servants and governesses and dependents who had to do with her. Mr. Hersland had attacking in him, mostly he was in his feeling as big as all the world in all of his beginning and all of his living was beginning, he never knew it inside him until his children told it to him when they were angry with him when impatient feeling filled him, he never knew that he did not go on to the last end of fighting that he had in him such a weakness in him; this is now a history of him and of how the servants and the governesses and the dependents and his wife and children felt all these things in him.
     All kinds of men and women have impatient feeling and sometime this will be a history of every kind of impatient feeling and of every kind of men and women who have impatient feeling. Now this is a history of servant living, of servants who have in them servant girl being, of servants who have in them servant being, of servants who have in them not any real servant being, of servants who have in them a mixing of some or all of these kinds of nature in them, of how it works out through them the two kinds of nature in all men and women the independent dependent and the dependent independent natures in all of them, this will be too a history of servant queerness and how it works in such of them as have this in them.
     As I was saying Mrs. Hersland had mostly in her middle living in Gossols in that part where no other rich people were living older foreign or foreign American women as servants in the house with them. Sometimes she had a young one to train, Mrs. Hersland never knew it in her that she never really liked to do such training. They always then had German or German American older women as servants in the house with them, but sometimes Mrs. Hersland could not get any of them, once she had an Irish woman to do the cooking, twice Italian women and once a Mexican, the Irish woman had servant queerness in her and she left all of a sudden, one Italian woman had servant queerness in her and she had to be sent away quickly without any warning, Mrs. Hersland never liked to have queer people near her she wanted her servants to be of the same kind of nature that was natural to her in the living at Bridgepoint the good living that was natural to her, she needed a servant around her that she Mrs. Hersland in her feeling could be of her and above her, she never wanted any servant to have servant queerness in her.
     Some time then there will be every kind of a history of every one who ever can or is or was or will be living. Some time then there wall be a history of every one from their beginning to their ending. Sometime then there will be a history of all of them, of every kind of them, of every one, of every bit of living they ever have in them, of them when there is never more than a beginning to them, of every kind of them, of every one when there is very little beginning and then there is an ending, there will then sometime be a history of every one there will be a history of everything that ever was or is or will be them, of everything that was or is or will be all of any one or all of all of them. Sometime then there will be a history of every one, of everything or anything that is all them or any part of them and sometime then there will be a history of how anything or everything comes out from every one, comes out from every one or any one from the beginning to the ending of the being in them. Sometime then there must be a history of every one who ever was or is or will be living. As one sees every one in their living, in their loving, sitting, eating, drinking, sleeping, walking, working, thinking, laughing, as any one sees all of them from their beginning to their ending, sees them when they are little babies or children or young grown men and women or growing older men and women or old men and women then one knows it in them that sometime there will be a history of all of them, that sometime all of them will have the last touch of being, a history of them can give to them, sometime then there will be a history of each one, of all the Kinds of them, of all the ways any one can know them, of all the ways each one is inside her or inside him, of all the ways anything of them comes out from them. Sometime then there will be a history of every one and so then every one will have in them the last touch of being a history of any one can give to them.
     This is now a history of a number of men and women from their beginning to their ending; these will have then the last touch of being that a history of any one can give to them, sometime it will be that any one who ever was or is or will be living, sometime then it will be even if they have had only a very little of any living, sometime then it will be that every one will have the last touch of being, a history of them can give to them, sometime then in my feeling there will be a history of every kind of men and women, there will be a history of every one from the beginning to their ending, every one will have sometime before the ending the last touch of being a history of them can give to any one.