The Making of the Lamb (25 page)

Halfway through the Roman month of September, the first fresh hints of autumn stirred the air in the forests. It was the evening before the first of the Jewish month of
Tishrei
, the onset of
Rosh Hashanah
, the beginning of the New Year. Jesus and Daniel were back in Carn Roz to prepare for the holy day, a time for reflection and judgment.

Jesus and Daniel were cleaning up the smelter with the aid of their helpers when Fedwig ran up. “There’s a sail in the distance,” he cried out. “It looks like Kendrick’s ship.” With that, the boy was off to the shore to join the village urchins and greet the vessel as it made its way into the harbor.

“I hope Papa will be pleased,” said Daniel, as the two looked over the stack of tin ingots. Pirro also had his hoard of pottery and other export goods purchased from the surrounding villages.

“I am sure he will be,” Jesus replied with a confident smile. “This should be enough to fill the hold of Kendrick’s ship.”

Leaving the remaining cleanup of the smelter to their helpers, Jesus and Daniel made their way to the tidal pool. They arrived just as Kendrick’s ship pulled in.

“You have grown so quickly in a few months, Jesus,” Joseph remarked as he embraced the two boys. “You’re catching up to Daniel.”

“I hadn’t really noticed, Uncle, but I think you’re right.” Jesus nudged Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel still stood a few inches taller.

“Come see all the tin ingots we have for you,” said Daniel.

“Not yet. It’s time to prepare for the holiday,” replied Joseph. “There will be time enough to count our riches after we have accounted to God for our sins.”

“That is how we should start the year,” Jesus said.

Joseph greeted Pirro and Bannoch, but would hear no word about business. He had a letter for Jesus from his parents. Joseph’s health was up and down. It was not safe for Jesus to return. The Sadducees were gone, but Mary sensed that the rabbi still reported on them. The letter carried as much love as any letter possibly could.

Once Jesus had finished reading, Joseph took the two boys away to spend the next few hours before sundown in contemplation, leaving Pirro to explain to Bannoch that this was just another custom of Joseph’s strange god.

With sundown came the onset of the holiday, confirmed by a sliver of light from the new moon. They spent several hours in prayer celebrating God’s sovereignty over all, and they continued after waking the next morning. In the afternoon it was time to perform the
Tashlikh
, the symbolic casting away of sins by throwing pieces of bread into a flowing stream. It was far from the elaborate celebration of the holiday featuring the sounding of the
shofar
or ram’s horn in the temple and synagogues of home, but they were sure God would understand.

The day after
Rosh Hashanah
marked the beginning of the Days of Awe. Though it was still the season for repentance leading up to the Day of Atonement or
Yom Kippur
, the law permitted them to resume their work. Only then did Joseph allow himself to view the ingots and trade goods that the boys and Pirro had gathered.

Joseph clapped his hands in delight. The hoard was certainly enough to fill the hold of the ship. He closed his eyes, offered up a prayer of thanks, and embraced Jesus and Daniel. “I didn’t expect half of this. You two have made me feel that God has already inscribed and sealed me for a good year.”

“Don’t forget Pirro, Uncle. He has been traveling constantly among the villages to gather up the other goods for you to take back to Gaul.”

“Of course, Pirro, you know this is still the season for Jews to reflect on our transgressions rather than count our riches. So forgive me if I seem a bit restrained. Thank you for looking out for the boys and for all your work.”

The boys described their explorations for more tin, and Daniel explained about the villagers doing the smelting. “We can put new smelters into operation as fast as you can bring more wine and trade goods to pay for labor and supplies.”

Pirro let out a sigh. He did not appear to be listening.

Jesus saw how Pirro looked distracted.
I feel sorry for Pirro. Even he must see that the profit from this venture will be in the tin and not his trinkets.

The morning after
Yom Kippur
, Jesus finished writing a letter to his parents. Joseph had brought some scrolls of precious papyrus for Jesus and would take the letter all the way to Nazareth. The Arimathean was heading even further into the east this time, and he would not be back until the following summer, at the earliest.

In the year that followed, Jesus continued practicing swordplay with Fedwig whenever he was at Carn Roz. By the summer of his fourteenth year, he could even challenge some of the men.

Jesus, Daniel, and Pirro had built their own warehouse for ingots and trade goods, and they had many smelters going, operated by hired workers. During the year, Jesus traveled through the land of the Dumnonii, finding more lodes of ore. He and Daniel arranged for its mining and its delivery to Carn Roz to be refined and cast into ingots.

Having hired men left Jesus plenty of time for sword drills. It also left Daniel with too much time for pursuing Golia—not that she ever tried to evade him.

Returning hot and sweaty from a day’s practice, Jesus longed for a Roman bath. A dip in the stream behind the round hut he shared with Pirro and Daniel would have to do.

As he passed the hut, he heard Golia squeal within, “Stop it!”

He ran inside. Daniel stood behind Golia, his arms around her waist. He nuzzled her neck, and she giggled.

“What are you doing?” Jesus barked.

Daniel frowned at him. “Nothing. Just…playing. Right?” He tickled Golia’s ribs.

“Stop!” She squealed again, finally twisting out of his grip. But she laughed.

Jesus closed his eyes a moment, sighing. “Golia.” He looked at her. “I want to speak to Daniel—alone.”

“Of course. See you later.” Her hand trailed down Daniel’s arm as she walked away.

“Your timing is awful,” Daniel said.

“I think my timing was fortunate. This business with Golia needs to stop.”

Daniel poured himself a drink of water from the pitcher on the table. “It’s no concern of yours.”

“Your father will be home soon. If he finds out you’ve been consorting with a
goy
—”

Daniel choked on his drink. “Consorting?”

Jesus folded his arms. “What would you call it?”

“It’s nothing! Just...fooling around. It’s no sin.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No. It’s not. I haven’t lain with her.” He snorted and lifted his cup. “She wouldn’t let me.”

Jesus rolled his eyes. “You don’t think it’s wrong to lust after the beauty of a woman, ‘or let her captivate you with her eyes,’ as Solomon says?”

“I hadn’t thought about it.” Daniel dropped onto a stool.

Jesus scoffed. “Of course you hadn’t.”

“Look, O Perfect One, it’s not that easy for us mere mortals.”

“I’m just as human as you, Daniel.”

“How can you say that?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

Daniel combed his fingers through his hair. “I know it’s wrong to carry on with a gentile girl. But you can’t understand the way she makes me feel. It’s...” he clutched his hand to chest as if to hold his heart inside. “It’s hard to explain.”

“You know it’s wrong.”

Daniel shot up, knocking the stool back. “You can’t preach to me. You have your secret, too.” He gestured to the practice sword belted to Jesus’s hip.

Jesus put his hand on the hilt. “That is totally different. This is something I must do to fulfill my purpose. The only thing you’re trying to fulfill is your own lust.”

Daniel made a fist and took a step back. Then he relaxed. “You have no idea what your destiny really is.”

“And you do?”
He thinks Joseph knows something the Father hasn’t revealed to me. But why would the Father reveal something to Uncle and not to me?

“We’ve been through this before.” Daniel righted the stool. “Papa told me not to tell you, and I’ll honor his command. He’ll be back soon for
Rosh Hashanah
.” Daniel stepped close, as if to emphasize that he still was several inches taller. “Just keep all this about me and Golia to yourself.” Daniel pushed past him and walked out.

Joseph returned not only with Kendrick’s ship, but with three more as well. They were needed to carry back all the tin smelted during the year. He brought another letter from Jesus’s parents. Papa had taken a turn for the worse, but Mother clung to hope. The gifts from the magi and the savings Mary had put aside in years of prosperity were seeing them through. It was still unsafe for Jesus to return. Jesus surmised that Joseph’s condition might be worse than the letter described. The words of love were those that Mother would choose. Joseph must have been too ill to take a hand in the writing this time.

Jesus observed
Rosh Hashanah
with Joseph and Daniel as he had before. During the Days of Awe that followed, they loaded the ships. After a long, hot day of hauling ingots, Jesus walked alone in the woods.

God the Father appeared. “You have done well here in Britain,” the Father began. “Your great-uncle is pleased, and so am I.”

“Thank you, Father. I am happy to serve you.”

“It is not me alone that you serve so well. Do you remember what I told you? How you and I share the same divine nature?”

“Yes, Father. I have thought of that often. But it only raises more questions in my mind.”

“You wonder how it is that you can be God, while I am God. And still there is but one God.”

“Yes, Father. Exactly.”

“You and I are both one as God. There is but one God, and there always will be just one God, as I revealed to Abraham and Moses. My divine nature is poured into yours. It has been that way since before the beginning of all time. But, at the same time, you are not the Father, and I am not the Son. We are the same God in different persons.”

“I hear what you say, Father, but I do not understand what it means. I seem to see and do on my own will.”

“Like all people, you have free will. That is your human nature. Just as you are begotten of me, so too are you fully born of woman. You are both son of God and son of man. You are fully human, and for now that human nature makes the Godhead difficult for you to understand. It will always remain something of a mystery to other people. As you grow in knowledge and wisdom, it will become clearer to you. Your understanding will come from an unexpected quarter.”

“I must be patient, then, Father.”

“There is another facet of this Godhead. Do you not sense it?”

A dove descended from the sky. Jesus stretched out his hand, and the dove perched on a finger.

“I sense a source of joy and wisdom at times when I am most at peace, Father. It is not me, and it is not you.”

“That is the Holy Spirit, my Son. It too is God and is always with you whenever you open yourself, even when I cannot be seen.”

Jesus closed his eyes and inclined his head. He brought the dove slowly towards his lips and gently kissed its head. The dove cooed softly. After a few moments it took flight and slowly circled in the clearing.

The Father again spoke to Jesus. “You performed the
Tashlikh
last year. Do you remember what I said then? You have no need of any ritual to cast aside sin, for sin is what separates man from God. In our divine substance, we cannot be separated.”

“But if I have free will, can I not be led into error?”

“Yes, but nothing can truly separate us, the way sin separates God and man. Even in your human nature, everything has a purpose. Your path will not always be clear, and you will make choices that you regret. But you will discover more of your divine nature, and we will be reconciled, no matter what happens.”

“Should I stop taking part in the
Tashlikh
, Father?”

“You must make your own choice, Jesus. You will struggle just as all men do. You are the person of God who shares in the life of men, for that is your purpose in becoming incarnate.”

With that, the Father left Jesus in the clearing.

A few days later at
Yom Kippur
, Jesus held back when Joseph and Daniel performed the
Tashlikh
.