The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes (63 page)

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Authors: E. Henry Thripshaw

Tags: #Jokes & Riddles, #Humor, #Form, #General

BOOK: The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes
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Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sacrificed his mum to Santa.

There is one great advantage in being dyslexic. It doesn’t cost a fortune to get a personal number plate for your car.


I first realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Two dyslexics were working in a kitchen.

The first says, “Can you smell gas?” The second replies: “Fuck off. I can’t even smell my own name.”

Two dyslexics robbers ran into a bank. One shouts: “Air in the hands, mother stickers this is a fuck up!”

Did you hear about the dyslexic student who entered a spelling bee?

She came in salt.

A dyslexic bloke goes on a skiing trip to Austria. When he arrives at the resort he asks a local where the ski slope is.

“Don’t know,” replies the local, “I’m a tabogganist myself.”

“That’s okay,” says the dyslexic. “Give me twenty Benson and Hedges then.”

Dyslexia: it means you never have to say you’re syror.

EATING DISORDERS
 

How do you know you’re at a bulimic bachelor party? The cake jumps out of the girl.

My girlfriend suffers from depression brought on by her having anorexia. I told her she should lighten up.

What does a bulimic call two fngers?

Dessert.

What do you call an anorexic with three teeth missing?

A rake.

Why do bulimics love KFC?

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