The Man Who Had All the Luck (4 page)

J.B. [
nods downstage
]: My store got so cold I had to close off the infant's wear counter. I think I'll get a revolving door for next winter. [
Sits
] What you got your hair all slicked for?

DAVID [
on one knee, examines the spigot which pours slowly
]: Going over to Hester's in a while.

J.B.: Dave! [
Excitedly
] Going alone?

DAVID: Hester'll be here right away. I'm going to walk back to the house with her, and . . . well, I guess we'll lay down the law to him. If he's going to be my father-in-law I better start talking to him some time.

J.B. [
anxiously
]: The only thing is you want to watch your step with him.

DAVID [
turns off spigot, lifts up can as he gets to his feet
]: I can't believe that he'd actually start a battle with me. You think he would?

J.B.: Old man Falk is a very peculiar man, Dave.
Horns sound from the right.

DAVID [
going right with the can
]: Coming, coming!
He goes out as from the back door,
SHORY
descends the ramp in a fury. He is in a wheelchair. He is thirty-eight but his age is hard to tell because of the absence of any hair on his body. He is totally bald, his beard does not grow, his eyebrows are gone. His face is capable of great laughter and terrible sneers. A dark green blanket covers his legs. He stops at the big doors with his fist in the air. As he speaks the horns stop.

SHORY: Goddamn you, shut those goddam horns! Can't you wait a goddam minute?

J.B.: Lay off, will you? They're his customers.

SHORY [
turns
]: What're you doing, living here?

J.B.: Why, got any objections? [
Goes to stove, clapping his arms.
] Jesus, how can he work in this place? You could hang meat in here. [
Warms his hands on the stove.
]

SHORY: You cold with all that fat on you?

J.B.: I don't know why everybody thinks a fat man is always warm. There's nerves in the fat too, y'know.

SHORY: Come into the store. It's warmer. Shoot some pinochle. [
Starts toward the ramp to his store.
]

J.B.: Dave's going over to see Falk. SHORY
stops.

SHORY: Dave's not going to Falk.

J.B.: He just told me.

SHORY [
turns again
]
:
Listen. Since the day he walked into the store and asked me for a job he's been planning on going to see Falk about Hester. That's seven years of procrastination, and it ain't going to end tonight. What is it with you lately? You hang around him like an old cow or something. What'd your wife throw you out of the house again?

J.B.: No, I don't drink anymore, not any important drinking—really. [
He sits on a barrel.
] I keep thinking about those two kids. It's so rare. Two people staying in love since they were children . . . that oughtn't to be trifled with.

SHORY: Your wife did throw you out, didn't she?

J.B.: No, but . . . we just got the last word: no kids.

SHORY [
compassionately
]: That so, Doctor?

J.B.: Yeh, no kids. Too old. Big, nice store with thirty-one different departments. Beautiful house. No kids. Isn't that something? You die, and they wipe your name off the mail box and . . . and that's the ball game.
Slight pause.

[
Changing the subject; with some relish.
] I think I might be able to put Dave next to something very nice, Shor.

SHORY: You're in your dotage, you know that? You're getting a Santa Claus complex.

J.B.: No, he just reminds me of somebody. Myself, in fact. At his age I was in a roaring confusion. And him? He's got his whole life laid out like a piece of linoleum. I don't know why but sometimes I'm around him and it's like watching one of them nice movies, where you know everything is going to turn out good . . . [
Suddenly strikes him.
] I guess it's because he's so young . . . and I'm gettin' so goddam old.

SHORY: What's this you're puttin' him next to?

J.B.: My brother-in-law up in Burley; you know, Dan Dibble that's got the mink ranch.

SHORY: Oh don't bring him around, now . . .

J.B.: Listen, his car's on the bum and he's lookin' for a mechanic. He's a sucker for a mechanic!

SHORY: That hayseed couldn't let go of a nickel if it was stuck up his . . .

Roar of engines starting close by outside. Enter
DAVID
from the upstage door, putting a small wrench in his pocket. As he comes in two cars are heard pulling away. He goes to a can of gasoline and rinses his hands.

DAVID: Geez, you'd think people could tighten a fan belt. What time you got, John?

SHORY: Why, where
you
going? You can't go into Falk's house . . .

From the store enter
AUNT BELLE.
She is carrying a wrapped shirt and a bag. She is a woman who was never young; skinny, bird-like, constantly sniveling. A kerchief grows out of her hand.

BELLE: I thought you were in the store. Hester said to hurry.

DAVID [
going to her
]: Oh, thanks, Belle. [
Unwrapping a shirt.
] It's the new one, isn't it?

BELLE [
horrified
]: Did you want the new one?

DAVID [
looking at the shirt
]: Oh, Belle. When are you going to remember something! Hester told you to bring my new shirt!

BELLE [
lifting them out of bag
]: Well I—I brought your galoshes.

DAVID: I don't wear galoshes anymore, I wanted my new shirt! Belle, sometimes you . . .

BELLE
bursts into tears.
All right, all right, forget it.

BELLE: I only do my best, I'm not your mother . . .

DAVID [
leading her right
]: I'm sorry, Aunt Belle, go—and thanks.

BELLE [
still sniffling
]: Your father's got your brother Amos out running on the road . . .

DAVID: Yeah, well . . . thanks . . .

BELLE [
a kerchief at her nose
]: He makes Amos put on his galoshes, why doesn't he give a thought to you?

DAVID [
pats her hand
]: I'll be home later.

SHORY: You know why you never remember anything, Belle? You blow your nose too much. The nose is connected with the brain and you're blowin' your brains out.

DAVID: Ah, cut it out, will ya?

With another sob,
BELLE
rushes out.

She still treats me like after Mom died. Just like I was seven years old. [DAVID
picks up the clean shirt.
]

SHORY [
alarmed
]: Listen, that man'll kill you. [
Grabs the shirt and sits on it.
]

DAVID [
with an embarrassed but determined laugh, trying to grab the shirt back
]: Give me that. I decided to go see him, and I'm going to see him!

Enter
PAT
and
AMOS
from right.
PAT
is a small, nervous man about forty-five,
AMOS
is twenty-four, given to a drawl and a tendency to lumber when he walks.

PAT [
on entering
]: What's the matter with you?

DAVID
looks up.
ALL
turn to him as both come center.
AMOS
is squeezing a rubber ball.

[
Pointing between
DAVID
and stove
]: Don't you know better than to stand so close to that stove? Heat is ruination to the arteries.

AMOS [
eagerly
]: You goin', Dave?

SHORY [
to
PAT]: Everything was getting clear. Will you go home?

PAT: I'm his father, if you please.

SHORY: Then tell him what to do, father.

PAT: I'll tell him. [
Turns to
DAVID
as though to command.
] What exactly did you decide?

DAVID: We're going to tell Mr. Andrew Falk we're getting married.

PAT: Uh, huh. Good work.

SHORY: Good work! [
Pointing at
PAT,
he turns to
J.B.] Will you listen to this . . . !

J.B. [
he shares
SHORY
's attitude toward
PAT
, but with more compassion
]: But somebody ought to go along with him.

PAT [
adamantly to
DAVID]: Definitely, somebody ought to go along . . .

AMOS [
to
DAVID]: Let me go. If he starts anything, I'll . . .

DAVID [
to
ALL]: Now look, for Christ's sake, will you . . .

PAT [
to
DAVID]: I forbid you to curse. Close your collar, Amos. [
Of
AMOS
to
J.B.] Just ran two miles. [
He buttons another button on
AMOS
, indicating Amos's ball.
] How do you like the new method?

AMOS [
holds up ball
]: Squeezin' a rubber ball.

J.B.: What's that, for his fingers, heh? DAVID
examines his arm.

PAT: Fingers! That's the old forearm. A pitcher can have everything, but without a forearm?—Zero!

SHORY [
to
PAT,
of
DAVE]: Are you going to settle this or is he going to get himself murdered in that house?

PAT: Who? What house? [
Recalling.
] Oh yes, Dave . . .

SHORY [
to
J.B.]: Oh yes, Dave! [
To
PAT.] You're his father, for G...!

DAVID: All right. I got enough advice. Hester's coming here right away and we're going over to the house and we'll talk it out, and if . . .

SHORY: His brains are busted, how are you going to talk to him? He doesn't like you, he doesn't want you, he said he'd shoot you if you came onto his place. Now will you start from there and figure it out or you going to put it together in the hospital? [
Pause.
]

DAVID: What am I supposed to do then? Let him send her to that normal school? I might never see her again. I know how these things work.

SHORY: You don't know how these things work. Two years I waited in there for a boy to ask for the job I put up in the window. I could've made a big stink about it. I was a veteran, people ought to explain to the kids why I looked like this. But I learned something across the sea. Never go lookin' for trouble. I waited. And you came. Wait, Davey.

PAT: I'm inclined to agree with him, David.

DAVID: I've been waiting to marry Hester since we were babies. [
Sits on a barrel.
] God! How do you know when to wait and when to take things in your hand and make them happen?

SHORY: You can't make anything happen any more than a jellyfish makes the tides, David.

DAVID: What do you say, John?

J.B.: I'd hate to see you battle old man Falk, but personally, Dave, I don't believe in waiting too long. A man's got to have faith, I think, and push right out into the current, and . . .

PAT [
leans forward, pointing
]: Faith, David, is a great thing. Take me for instance. When I came back from the sea . . .

DAVID: What time you got, John . . . excuse me, Dad.

J.B.: Twenty to eight.

DAVID [
to
SHORY]: You giving me that shirt or must I push you off that chair?

PAT [
continuing
]: I am speaking, David. When I came back from the sea . . .

SHORY [
pointing at
AMOS]: Before you come back from the sea, you're going to kill him, running his ass off into the snow.

PAT: Kill him! Why it's common knowledge that pacing is indispensable for the arches. After all, a pitcher can have everything, but if his arches are not perfect . . . ?

SHORY: Zero!

PAT: Before I forget, do you know if that alcohol can be used for rubbing? [
Indicates the drum.
]

DAVID: There's only a couple of drops left.

AMOS: You sold it all today? [
Joyously to
PAT.] I told you he'd sell it all!

DAVID: Don't go making a genius out of your brother. Salesman hooked him. He bought alcohol in April when the sun was shining hot as hell.

AMOS: Yeah, but look how it froze up today!

SHORY:
He
didn't know it was going to freeze.

J.B.: Maybe he did know. [
To
DAVE.] Did you, Dave?

DAVID [
stares into his memory
]: Well, I . . . I kinda thought . . .

PAT [
breaking in
]: Speaking of geniuses, most people didn't know that there are two kinds; physical and mental. Take pitchers like Christy Matthewson now. Or Walter Johnson. There you have it in a nutshell. Am I right, J.B.?

SHORY: What've you got in a nutshell?

PAT [
the beginnings of confusion, his desire to protect
AMOS
and himself against everyone, tremble in him
]: Just what I said. People simply refuse to concentrate. They don't know what they're supposed to be doing in their lives.

SHORY [
pointing to
DAVID]: Example number one.

PAT [
rises to a self-induced froth of a climax
]: I always left David to concentrate for himself. But take Amos then. When I got back from the sea I came home and what do I find? An infant in his mother's arms. I felt his body and I saw it was strong. And I said to myself, this boy is not going to waste out his life being seventeen different kind of things and ending up nothing. He's going to play baseball. And by ginger he's been throwin' against the target down the cellar seven days a week for twelve solid years! That's concentration. That's faith! That's taking your life in your own hands and molding it to fit the thing you want. That's bound to have an effect . . . and don't you think they don't know it!

SHORY: Who knows it?