The Man Who Had All the Luck (9 page)

HESTER: Don't put them in there! They're filthy! Down the cellar!

DAVID: But I always put them in here!

HESTER: But you promised once the house is painted!

Door opens. Enter
GUS
.

GUS: Don't bother. It's only me.

He wears a white Palm Beach suit, hatless.
HESTER
and
DAVID
stare at him in astonishment. She comes down the stairs. She is dressed in a robe, but has her best shoes on. Her hair is set.

HESTER: Why, Gus! You look so handsome!

GUS: It is such a special day, I decided to make an impression on myself.

HESTER: No, you go perfectly with the room.

DAVID [
laughing with
GUS]: Watch yourself or she'll hang you in a frame over the couch. [
He stamps at her to get her moving.
]

HESTER [
squealing, she runs to the stairs and up a few steps, and leans over the banister
]: Is your girl outside? Bring her in. DAVID: Hey, that's right! Where's your girl?

GUS [
looking up
]: Well, we both decided suddenly that until she can become as beautiful as Hester . . .

HESTER: Oh, you.

GUS [
opening his arms like a pleading lover
]: Until she shows ability to make over a house like this was, and until etcetera and etcetera, she is not the girl for me, so I haven't seen her all week. Anyway, I have decided definitely I need only a red-headed girl.

HESTER [
to
GUS]: Stand in the middle of the room when they come in. You make it look just like the picture in the
Ladies Home Journal.

DAVID [
starting after her
]: Get dressed, will ya? Dad'll cut my head off if we're not ready! HESTER
laughs with delight and runs upstairs.

GUS [
looking around
]: It came out so nice. You know, this house shines in the sun a quarter of a mile away.

DAVID: Well, look at that sun! [
Goes right to windows.
] God must've pulled up the sun this morning, grabbed him by the back of the neck, and said—make it a baseball day.

GUS [
touching the wall
]: Now it is truly a place to call home. Amazing.

DAVID [
laughs musingly, indicating the windows at the right
]: You know, when I came down this morning that window caught my eye. I used to sneak under that window when we were kids and peek in here to watch Hester doing her homework. And then I used to sneak away. And now I can walk in and outa this house fifty times a day and sleep up in his room night after night! [
Looks through the window.
] Wherever he is I bet he still can't figure it out. Read the encyclopedia if you like. I'll put on a tie. [
Goes to the landing.
]

GUS [
looking around
]: Encyclopedia, furniture, new plumbing. . . . When am I going to see a couple of brats around here!

DAVID [
stops at the landing
]: What's the rush, you got some old suits you want ruined?

GUS: Me? I always pick up babies by the back of the neck, but . . . [
Idly.
] without children you wouldn't have to fix nothin' in here for twenty years. When nothing breaks it's boring. [
He sits, reaches over for an encyclopedia volume.
]

DAVID [
glances above, comes away from stairs. Quietly
]: I been wanting to ask you about that.

GUS: What?

DAVID [
hesitates. In good humor
]: Did you ever hear of it happening when people didn't have kids because of the man?

GUS: Certainly, why not? Why don't you talk it over with her?

DAVID [
laughs self-consciously
]: I can't seem to get around to it. I mean we somehow always took it for granted, kinda, that when the time was right a kid would just naturally come along.

GUS: You go to the doctor, then you'll know. . . . Or do you want to know?

DAVID: Sure I do, but I don't know, it just doesn't seem
right,
especially when we've been all set financially for over two years now.

GUS: Right! What has this got to do with right or wrong? There is no justice in the world.

DAVID [
looks at him, then goes to the landing, stops
]: I'll never believe that, Gus. If one way or another a man don't receive according to what he deserves inside . . . well, it's a madhouse.

HESTER [
from above
]: There's a car stopping in front of the house! [
Coming down.
] Did you put your boots away?

DAVID [
slightly annoyed
]: Yeh, I put 'em away! [
Goes across to the door
.]

HESTER [
hurrying downstairs
]: You didn't! [
Hurrying across the room toward the boots.
] He'll have the place like a pigsty in a week!

DAVID
opens the door and looks out.

GUS [
to
HESTER]: Get used to it, the place will never be so neat once you have children around.

DAVID
turns to him, quickly, resentment in his face.

HESTER [
stops moving. An eager glow lights up her expression.

The boots are in her hand
]: Don't you think it is a wonderful house for children?

DAVID: Hello! Hello, Mr. Dibble! Didn't expect to see you around here today. Come in, come in.

Enter
DAN DIBBLE
after wiping his feet carefully on the doormat.

DIBBLE: Had to see J.B. on some business. Thought I'd stop in, say hello. Afternoon, Mrs. Beeves.

HESTER: Hello, Mr. Dibble. [
She picks up the boots and goes out.
]

DAVID: You know Gus Eberson. He's with me over at the shop.

DIBBLE: Sure, how are you, Gus? Say, you look more like a banker than a mechanic.

DAVID: Best mechanic there is.

DIBBLE: What I always say—never judge a man by his clothes. A man and his clothes are soon parted. [
They laugh.
] Say, J.B. was tellin' me you used to have a shop of your own here in town—over in Poplar Street was it . . . ?

DAVID: We amalgamated, Gus and I.

GUS: Actually, Mr. Dibble, I ran out of money and customers after the first seven months. I am working now for Mr. Beeves since over two years.

DIBBLE: Well, say, this is the first time I knew a hired man to insist he wasn't the boss's partner, and the boss to let on he was.

GUS [
chuckles
]: Mr. Beeves suffers sometimes from an overdeveloped sense of responsibility.

DIBBLE: That's why I spotted him as a natural mink man. Given it any more thought, David?

DAVID: A lot, Mr. Dibble, a lot—but I'm afraid I haven't got an answer for you yet.

DIBBLE: Got time for a few facts today?

DAVID: Tell you the truth, we're expecting J.B. and Shory. Goin' up to Burley for the ball game. You heard about my brother, didn't you?

DIBBLE: J.B. said somethin' about him pitchin' against that colored team. Say, if he can knock them boys over he really belongs in the Big Leagues.

DAVID: I guess after today's game, Amos Beeves will be playin' for the Detroit Tigers.

DIBBLE: Well, say, they really took him, eh?

DAVID: Just about. A Tiger scout's goin' to be in the grand-stand today.

DIBBLE: Well, say, it's about time.

DAVID: Yep, things even up, I guess in the long run. Why don't you drop around tonight. Havin' a big barbecue after the game.

Enter
HESTER
from the dining room.

DIBBLE: Thanks, I'd like to but I got to get back and see my mink get fed on time and proper.

HESTER: David just never stops talkin' about mink. [
Sits
.] Have you still got that tiny one with the white spot on his head?

DAVID [
seeing
HESTER
's interest kindles a happy liveliness in him
]: Oh, that one's probably been in and out of a dozen New York night clubs by this time. [
They laugh
.]

HESTER [
disturbed—to
DIBBLE]: Oh, you didn't kill her?

DAVID [
to
GUS
and
HESTER]: That's the way you get about mink, they're like people, little nervous people.

DIBBLE: I call them my little bankers myself. Pour a dollar's worth of feed down their gullets and they'll return you forty percent; best little bankers in the world.

DAVID: Except when they fall, Mr. Dibble, except when they fall.

DIBBLE: Mink never fall!

DAVID: Oh, now, Mr. Dibble . . .

DIBBLE: They don't! It's their keepers fall down on them. When a feller goes broke tryin' to raise mink it's mainly because he's a careless man. From everything I've seen, David, you ain't that kind. You got a farm here clean as a hospital and mink needs a clean place. You're the first and only man I thought of when I decided to sell off some of my breeders when my doctor told me to ease up.

DAVID: I been askin' around lately, and everybody I talked to . . .

DIBBLE [
to
GUS
too
]: I'm glad you made the inquiries. It shows you're a careful man. And now I'll tell you my answer. Easiest thing in the world is to kill a mink. Mink'll die of a cold draught; they'll die of heart failure; indigestion can kill them, a cut lip, a bad tooth or sex trouble. And worse than that, the mink is a temperamental old woman. I wear an old brown canvas coat when I work around them. If I change that coat it might start them to eating their young. A big loud noise like thunder, or a heavy hailstorm comes and the mother's liable to pick up the litter, put 'em out in the open part of the cage, and then she'll go back into the nest box and close her eyes. As though they're out of danger if they're out of her sight. And when the storm's over you might have six or eight kits drowned to death out there. I've seen mink murder each other, I've seen them eat themselves to death and starve themselves to death, and I've seen them die of just plain worry. But! Not on my ranch! I'll show my records to anybody.

DAVID [
to
GUS]: There's a business, boy!

GUS: A business! That's a slot machine. What do you need with mink?

DAVID: Oh, there's a kick in it, Gus. When you send a load of skins to New York you know you
did
something, you . . .

GUS: Why, you didn't do something? [
Indicates right.
] A great big shop you built up, a tractor station, how nice you made this farm . . . ?

DAVID [
not too intensely; he enjoys this talk
]: Yeh, but is a thing really yours because your name is on it? Don't you have to feel you're smart enough, or strong enough, or something enough to have won it before it's really yours? You can't bluff a mink into staying alive. [
Turns to
DIBBLE.] I tell you, Mr. Dibble . . .

DIBBLE: Take your time. Think about it . . .

DAVID: Let me call you. I'll let you know.

DIBBLE: Oh, I'll bide my time. Just remember, in New York they murder people for a mink coat. Women sell their jewels for mink, they sell their . . . them New York women'll sell damn near anything for mink!

DAVID [
to
DIBBLE]: This is my brother!

GUS [
as
DAVID
opens the door
]: Look, like two peacocks!

HESTER [
at the door, over her shoulder ecstatically to
DIBBLE]: They've waited so long!

DAVID [
exuberantly, backing from the door
]: Here he comes! Christy Matthewson the Second!

Enter
AMOS
and
PATTERSON
followed by
J.B.

HESTER [
grabbing
AMOS
's hand
]: How's your arm, Ame! AMOS [
winds up and pitches
]: Wham!—He's out!

PAT [
throwing up his arms
]: God bless this day! [
Suddenly.
] I'm not waiting for anybody! [
Threatens to go out again.
]

J.B. [
to
HESTER]: Shory's waiting in the car! Let's go!

HESTER: Bring him in. Let's have a drink!

DAVID: What're you lookin' so sad about, Dad! [
Suddenly hugs
PAT.]

HESTER: Get some whiskey, Dave!

PAT [
indignantly—he has broken from
DAVE]: You want to suffocate in here? Open the windows in this house! [
He rushes around throwing windows up.
]

DAVID [
laughing
]: We're going in a minute! Where's the telegram, Ame! [AMOS
opens his mouth but
PAT
cuts him off.
]

PAT [
busy with the windows
]: Let the day come in! What a day! What a year! What a nation!

HESTER [
rushing after
PAT]: Did you bring the telegram? [
She corners him, laughing.
] Where's the telegram?

PAT: I don't need to bring it. I will never forget that telegram so long as I live. [
Takes it out of his pocket.
] “Western Union. Class of Service. This is a full-rate Telegram or Cablegram unless its deferred character is indicated by a suitable symbol . . .”

HESTER: What're you reading that part for? [
Tries to grab it from him.
] What did the scout say!

PAT [
grabbing it back
]: I'm reading it to you just the way I read it when I got it—from the very top, to the very bottom.

DAVID: Let him read it, Hess!
They go quiet.

PAT: I haven't felt this way since the last time I read the Bible. “Patterson Beeves, 26 Murdock Street. Will be in Burley for the Black Giants game Sunday, July 16th. Looking forward to seeing Amos Beeves's performance. Best regards, Augie Belfast, Detroit Tigers.” [
Looks around imperiously.
] Twenty-one years I have been waiting for this telegram. Training him down the cellar since he was old enough to walk. People laughed when Amos got bad marks in school. Forget the homework, I said. Keep your eye on the ball. Concentration, I said . . .