The Marriage Intervention (26 page)

She laughed. Summer spoke the very thought Josie was thinking: “You sound a bit insane, Dee. Is everything all right?”
 

“What? Oh, yeah. Of course.”
 

“Why are you wearing those … things?” Josie asked. “I mean, I love the dog and bone print, it really brings out your eyes. But what the hell?”
 

Delaney rolled her eyes. “Can I have one of those?” she said to Summer, pointing at the dish of olives that sat next to Summer’s water glass.
 

Summer shrugged and nodded. “Sure.”
 

Delaney’s eyes rolled back as she chewed. “This is so good,” she said, drawing out the word “so.” “I can’t believe I’ve never shared these with you before.”
 

In that moment, everything dropped away: the chatter of the college kids who were swigging beers and munching on chips and salsa, the giggles of the girls next to them, who kept waving at a group of guys sitting the corner, and the sound of the blaring TVs, which were showing a few different basketball games. One of them cut to a puppy food commercial and Josie thought again about getting a puppy.
 

Josie and Summer looked at each other. Summer grabbed Delaney’s hand.
 

“Delaney, you’re pregnant.”
 

At first, Delaney didn’t respond. She chewed on another olive as if Summer hadn’t spoken.
 

Summer looked at Josie as if to ask so many questions at once. Did she hear me? Should I repeat myself? What should we do? Should we take her beer away? Will she be happy?
 

Just as Josie slid Delaney’s beer across the table to the empty spot, Delaney heaved a big, dramatic sigh.

“It explains everything,” she said. Her eyes filled with tears.

***

“Seriously,” Delaney said. “I can’t believe this is the first time we’ve ever done this. We’re thirty-four, we’ve known each other since we were fourteen and we’ve never come to the drug store for a pregnancy test.”
 

The three of them were crowded into the Good Health Pharmacy’s single bathroom stall, which smelled overwhelmingly of cinnamon spice air freshener and toilet cleaner.
 

“Remember when Summer first got pregnant with Sarah?” Josie said. “You showed up at Happy Hour with a bottle of sparkling cider and had the whole place cheering. I loved that moment.”
 

Summer sighed, and Josie noticed she had placed a hand on her lower abdomen.

“Me too,” Delaney and Summer said.
 

“How much longer?” Josie asked. “Should we have set a timer for this bad boy?”
 

“Probably,” Summer said. “It can’t have been more than a minute and we’re supposed to wait what, like five?”
 

“Four,” Delaney said. “You should know.”
 

The last three words came out a mumble.

“Oh, my gosh, Delaney’s nervous!” Josie said. “I’ve never seen you this nervous.”
 

“Yeah, you have,” Summer said. “The first time she went to prom. Remember? She was practically throwing up until we got to the restaurant.”
 

Josie laughed. Delaney groaned.
 

“I just can’t believe I might be pregnant when I’m supposed to be shopping for wedding dresses. I mean, the timing is pretty crazy, right?”
 

Summer nodded. “What will Jake think?”
 

Delaney groaned again. “I’m not sure. I mean, we want to have kids and everything. We just hadn’t really talked about the timing. You know? Since we’re not even married yet. I just imagined a very romantic honeymoon with lots of Guinness.”
 

“He can have lots of Guinness,” Josie said. “And you can watch.”
 

“Maybe it’s just nerves making me crazy forgetful,” Delaney said.
 

When Summer and Josie looked at each other over the top of her head, Delaney laughed.
 

“I think it’s time to check it,” Summer said.
 

Delaney put her hands over her face. “You guys check it. I can’t.”
 

Josie lifted the pregnancy test off the top of the toilet paper dispenser, being careful to hold it parallel to the floor, and to avert her eyes so she and Summer could look at the same time.
 

Summer counted to three, and because the bathroom’s fluorescent lighting was so dim, they both squinted to see the little plastic window.
 

Josie felt a smile spread across her face, and looked up at Summer to see a matching grin on hers.
 

They both looked at Delaney at the same time, and each of them reached for one of her hands.
 

“Congratulations, Dee,” they said. Summer started to cry. “You’re a mommy.”
 

After her first personal training session with Scott, Josie debated (again) whether she should find a different trainer. Even now, a week later as she drove to the gym to meet with him, she went over both sides of the argument in her mind. Scott was obviously new to personal training, and she could use that as an excuse for switching or even quitting if she had to bring it up to Summer and Delaney. She didn’t even have to mention his name. She could just explain that Ronnie had called her trainer, “The new guy.”
 

On the other hand, if she did quit Scott, it would take a while to get another trainer. And by the time she did, that stupid race would be coming up really fast, and she wouldn’t have time to train properly.
 

More importantly, Josie felt traitorous hogging the limelight with her insignificant marriage and exercise issues when Delaney was now planning for a wedding
and
a baby.
 

She pulled into the gym parking lot and chose a spot at the far side. Not to give herself a little extra time, but to force herself to burn more calories by walking several extra yards. Before she got out, she carefully applied lip gloss. Nothing too flashy, just enough to give her some shine. She ought to be able to spend an hour each week in close proximity with Scott without going weak in the knees or getting quivery all over, she thought as she got out of the car.

Squaring her shoulders, she walked through the parking lot.
It’s only eight weeks.
She pulled open the front door, and smiled at Ronnie, who gave her a friendly wave before pointing to the free weights area where Scott waited. He was flipping through the papers on his clipboard.

What will Paul think?
 

Well, she didn’t want to think about that. Did it matter? Who knew if he’d ever move back home? She certainly didn’t. And wouldn’t it be good for her to have someone … um, special… to hold her accountable to working out?
 

Summer and Delaney would never know. Paul would never know. She walked toward him, raising her chin just a little to convey some kind of confidence. Then Scott smiled at her. The thought of keeping yet another secret, and worse, another secret with Scott, did send Josie’s stomach churning like the disgusting smoothies Summer made in her high tech blender. But what if she didn’t think of it as a secret? She could instead consider this personal training thing small potatoes. Not a big enough deal to even mention.
 

She smiled back.
 

Eight weeks. She could do this.
 

***

“How long does a wife keep coming to marriage counseling alone?” Josie didn’t expect Dr. Strasser to give her an answer, which was why she asked her reflection in his office’s bathroom mirror. She shrugged. “As long as it takes, I guess.”
 

Dr. Strasser didn’t smile at her when she sat down on the opposite side of his desk. Always so distant, so separate. Josie found herself wanting to get a rise out of him. Unfortunately, he could probably read that kind of behavior fairly well, as he had a PhD in figuring out why people act stupid.

“No Paul today?”
 

Obviously not.

“No, he’s still giving me time to work on my own issues,” Josie said.
 

“Ah. I see.” Dr. Strasser leaned back in his chair, but kept his fingertips together. What are those issues?”

“I’ll just be honest, here.”
 

“That’s a good start.” Now he smiled. Ice cold.

“I still have kind of a crush on my ex-boyfriend. Scott. The guy I dated right before Paul. Well, it’s not really a crush. I don’t know what to call it.”
 

“The principal?”
 

“Good memory.” Josie had the insane urge to tap the side of her nose.
Right on the nose, Dr. Strasser
.

“What does this crush” (finger quotes) “mean for your marriage?”
 

“It means Paul’s pissed off at me, is what it means,” Josie said. “It means he thinks I can’t work on our marriage just yet because I still have feelings for someone else.”
 

“Is that true?”
 

Josie shrugged. “It’s not that I have feelings for him. It’s just that I remember our time together fondly. And then I see him every day. And then, when he asks me out for drinks I have a hard time turning him down because of that.”
 

“Even though you know it upsets Paul?”
 

“I almost want to upset Paul.”
 

Now that the words were out there, Josie felt kind of free. Ah, this must be what it felt like to experience that famous
aha!
moment people talked about. Dr Strasser nodded, as if he’d known this all along.
 

A bit smug, aren’t you?
 

“Go on,” he said. “Why do you want to upset him?”
 

Josie sighed. She’d walked through the proverbial door and there was no turning back. No Exit.
 

“I can think of a couple of reasons,” she said. “First, it means he gives a crap about something besides work. It means he cares enough about our marriage to be upset about something. Jealous, even. Second, it feels a tiny bit nice knowing he feels threatened. Like, knowing he knows he’s not meeting my needs. And if he knows, then won’t he make a change?”
 

Dr. Strasser didn’t answer right away, which compelled Josie to keep talking. “I mean, I know it’s childish, but there you have it.”
 

It took a conscious effort not to babble, so Josie pressed her lips together and waited.

“Josie. I think it’s time you communicated your needs to Paul directly, instead of sending him messages in the form of what you call childish behavior. Have you ever actually told him he’s not meeting your needs?”
 

The silence stretched between them. Josie’s throat constricted. Now that she thought about it, she probably hadn’t ever put the idea into plain words. Like a child, she’d thrown little jabs, little barbed comments designed to deflate his sense of well-being as a husband.
 

“Oh, my God. I hate myself.”
 

“Now, Josie, there’s no need for that. You’re here because you want to fix things, right?”
 

Still too shocked at her revelation to speak, Josie nodded.
 

“So instead of focusing on the mistakes you’ve made in the past, let’s focus on moving forward. How do you think you can do that?”
 

The next five minutes passed so slowly it was excruciating. Dr. Strasser insisted on a dumb role-playing exercise that made Josie feel like she was six years old, but she participated just for the sake of getting it over with. Meanwhile, she felt herself edging closer and closer to the brink of tears with each tick of the second hand on Dr. Strasser’s clock.
 

***

Fortunately, Dr. Strasser had another client to see immediately after Josie, and she was able to lock herself in the bathroom for a good ten minutes to sob into a wadded up paper towel. Her eyes actually ached from crying when she finally walked to her car. The more she thought about it, the more she realized the blame for her problems with Paul fell squarely on her shoulders. Because the sun scorched her eyelids, even through the dark lenses of her sunglasses, Josie didn’t notice Paul standing next to her car until she was practically bumping into him.
 

“Way to be aware of your surroundings,” he said.
 

She jumped.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. Then, realizing her tone hadn’t been very welcoming, she added, “I mean, I thought you weren’t coming. The appointment is over.”
 

Paul lifted her sunglasses, and when he saw she’d been crying he pulled her against him.

“What’s wrong, babe?”
 

“I miss you, and I just want to fix things, that’s all,” she said. “But I’m not sure how.”
 

“Start with dinner?”
 

Josie nodded against his chest. “Tonight?”
 

He sighed. “We can aim for tonight, but the guys have a dealer coming out of Phoenix. I might get called in.”
 

A tiny, resentful voice in the back of Josie’s mind piped up to point out that this, right here, was actually the root of their problems. She tamped it down. When Paul had gone undercover, they’d discussed the position at length. They both knew call-outs and late nights were a possibility, but it was something he wanted to do and, more importantly, it was better to get it out of the way before they decided to start a family.
 

The same resentful voice told Josie that imagining a situation before it happens is different from actually living it. Which was true.
 

“I’ve got a couple of errands to run,” Paul said, “but let’s tentatively plan to meet at the Mexican place at six. I’ll call or text you if I end up getting called out. Does that sound good?”

It would have to do.