The Marriage Merger (15 page)

Jenna wanted to open up her arms and gather
him to her breast and soothe away his worry. But he wasn’t a boy.
He was a man, with a man’s reluctance to share his pain and take
comfort. He was also a man who had the power to hurt her very much.
And this was what she was afraid of.

They sat out in the courtyard again, and
Jenna stayed as silent as he, painfully aware that her thoughts
were running wild with the tension of waiting for him to speak. Had
something happened to Alicia? Or perhaps Mrs Jenkins was free to
come back earlier than her stated five weeks and now that Caitlin
was so improved he wanted to tell Jenna he no longer needed
her.

It was such a clear night she felt as though
she could reach up into the inky blackness of the sky and touch the
stars. It was so still, and she was so tense, that when Braden
spoke she jumped a little.

“Alicia wants to see Caitlin.”

She could tell by his deep brooding tone that
he wasn’t pleased with the idea.

“And you don’t agree with that,” she
ventured.

He put down his coffee mug and massaged the
back of his neck as he stretched out on the chair.

“I don’t know if Caitlin’s ready for it. If I
take her there and Alicia starts crying Caitlin might stop speaking
again and never come out of it.”

“I don’t think that will happen, Braden.”

“Why not?”

“Because now Caitlin knows why her mother
reacted the way she did. She understands that her mother was sick
and it wasn’t her fault. Today she’s been talking about her father,
with sadness at times, but also with acceptance. Do you think
Alicia would ask to see Caitlin if she felt there was any risk that
she might react badly when she sees her?”

He was thoughtful for a while, sipping his
coffee.

“No, Alicia loves Caitlin too much to risk
hurting her again. You’ve worked miracles with Caitlin, Jenna. I
don’t know how you did it, but I’m very grateful. And so is Alicia.
She’d like you to come when I take Caitlin to see her, if that’s
what we decide.”

Grateful. Jenna froze at the word. It was
gratitude and not love that had broken her heart before.

“Jenna?”

She looked across at him.

“Are you all right? You looked ... strange.”
There was concern in his voice.

“Why don’t you ask Caitlin?” she suggested,
ignoring his question. “She won’t want to go if she’s afraid of how
her mother will react.”

“Yes, I guess the decision is best left up to
her.” He smiled then, a relieved, companionable smile.

The private hospital where Alicia was staying
was situated in acres of beautiful bushland on the outskirts of
Brisbane. Single-story buildings connected by covered walkways
sprawled across well-manicured lawns and immaculate gardens alive
with vibrant colour. As Braden’s BMW cruised up the driveway Jenna
cast an inquiring glance at Caitlin.

There had been no reticence on Caitlin’s part
when Braden had asked her if she would like to see her mother. But
now they were approaching the hospital Jenna could see a tiny frown
of worry on the child’s forehead.

They parked; then, with Braden and Jenna
holding Caitlin’s hands, they walked through the peaceful gardens
and shady gum trees to one of the outer buildings. Braden had
phoned and told Alicia to expect them, so when a tall, thin woman
with short brown hair rose from a bench under a massive Moreton Bay
Fig tree and took a half-step towards them Jenna knew this must be
Alicia.

With a set smile that tried to hide the
nervousness evident in her pale blue eyes and fingers twining
together in front of her, Alicia looked down at Caitlin.

“Oh darling Possum,” she said at last, “you
look wonderful.”

Caitlin’s hands pulled free.

“Mummy! Mummy!” she cried and threw herself
at Alicia.

There were tears of happiness in Alicia’s
eyes as she hugged her daughter, and Jenna felt her own betraying
moistness. Alicia carried her daughter back to the bench and sat
down.

“Goodness, darling, look at you. You’ve grown
so much.” The pride, the love, transformed Alicia’s thin face.

“I’m learning water ballet, Mummy. Jinx is
teaching me.”

“I’m sure you’ll be very good at it, dear.”
Alicia looked past her daughter and gestured for Jenna to join her
on the bench. Braden leaned idly against the tree, his smile
showing his pleasure at how well Caitlin had reacted.

Caitlin’s childish excitement predominated
for the next fifteen minutes. She chattered about her lessons in
the pool, about The Lion King, about Underwater World, and Jenna
and Braden slipping into the dam. Finally the flow of words eased
and she asked her mother for a drink.

“There’s a kiosk in the main building,
perhaps Uncle Braden would like to get you a drink?”

Jenna attempted to stand and volunteer to
take Caitlin, but Alicia stopped her with a gesture.

Braden picked up on her cue. He took
Caitlin’s hand.

“Come on, young lady. We might find some
chocolate as well as a drink.”

Jenna watched Alicia’s eyes devouring her
daughter as she walked away with Braden. When she turned to Jenna,
two tears trickled slowly down her cheeks. She searched in the
pocket of her simple but elegantly cut lemon shift for a
handkerchief and wiped her eyes.

“Oh, Jenna, thank you,” she cried. “You’ve
given me back my daughter. Words aren’t enough to describe what
that means to me.”

“Caitlin’s done most of the work, Alicia. A
lot of the damage was psychological. Once she accepted her father’s
death and understood why you were sick she was able to concentrate
on getting better.”

Alicia smiled, and Jenna was surprised at how
unlike her brother she was. She had a quiet, gentle air that
bordered on timid, her soft eyes looked almost apologetic. Jenna
could understand why Braden had been concerned about how she would
react to Caitlin.

As though reading Jenna’s assessment of her,
Alicia took a deep breath and continued in a firm voice.

“The video showed the effort you’ve put in
with Caitlin. You’ve been very patient, very determined. They’re
qualities I’m trying to build up in myself. In a way my break-down
has been a good thing. Not for Caitlin,” she hastened to add, “but
for me. It’s finally allowed me to confront all the fears I’ve
buried for most of my life. You see, Braden has always tried to
protect me. He did it for all the right reasons, but unfortunately
it had the wrong effect. Because he was always there to cushion the
hard blows of life for me I never learned how to grow strong enough
to cope on my own.”

Instinctively Jenna reached across and
covered the other woman’s hand with her own. Alicia curled her
fingers over Jenna’s and her eyes acknowledged Jenna’s empathy.

“When I married ...” her voice caught, “David
was a wonderful man, but he took over Braden’s protective role.
When he ... died ... I felt so incredibly alone. I know Braden was
there for me, and so was my father, but this time it was different.
I was responsible for Caitlin, and I was alone. She’s my child and
I didn’t know how to help her. I felt so useless. It was a big,
black pit, and I could see no way out.”

“Since I’ve been here,” her free hand
gestured back towards the buildings, “I’ve been forced to assess
where my life was going. I didn’t like what I saw. I saw a woman
who has always been afraid to make her own decisions, who’s always
let someone else do that for her. So I’m learning to take control
of my life. It won’t be easy, I know that, but now I have my
daughter back I have the best incentive in the world to become the
kind of mother she needs.”

The women looked at each other, and with a
rush of rapport they smiled in total understanding.

But something Alicia had said puzzled
Jenna.

“Alicia,” she began tentatively, “I don’t
mean to pry, but you said your father was there for you. From what
Braden said I thought ...” she stopped, unsure if she should
continue, afraid that she was treading on emotionally dangerous
ground.

Alicia sighed. “Dad and Braden have never
understood one another. Braden thinks that Dad never loved him. He
has our mother’s colouring and her strong personality, and he
thought Dad couldn’t stand him because he reminded him of her. And
when Dad put him in boarding school it confirmed in Braden’s mind
what he believed. He came home every weekend but he avoided Dad
whenever possible.”

“Did you get sent to boarding school?”

“No. Dad only sent Braden because he was so
headstrong and he couldn’t cope with him. Dad finds it hard to
express his feelings and he couldn’t see Braden needed reassurance
that he loved him. All these years they’ve missed out on the
relationship they could have had.”

“You didn’t try to tell them?”

“Oh, yes, but there was so much anger in
Braden, he wouldn’t listen. And Dad’s stubborn too.”

So it wasn’t the way Braden had told her,
only the way he saw it. Jenna contemplated the fact that when it
came to changing his mind on emotional issues, Braden was an
immovable force. Which meant her fledgling hope that he might
change his attitude towards love and marriage was most likely
futile.

In spite of the ache deep in her heart Jenna
couldn’t help being caught up in Braden’s euphoric mood as they
drove back to Maroochydore. He asked her about her travels, and
regaled her with anecdotes about the humorous difficulties he’d
encountered in his work in other countries.

He was amusing, interesting, and,
surprisingly, interested in her. His amusement would show in a deep
chuckle, a smile with the rakish charm of a movie buccaneer, and
she was so captivated that if he had told her the Easter Bunny,
Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy were real she would have believed
him.

It was so easy to give herself up to the
moment, to enjoy his company, the friendship he seemed to be
offering. She knew it was an illusion, knew that the reality was he
was overjoyed by Caitlin’s successful meeting with her mother, but
she greedily accepted this fleeting happiness. In just two weeks
she would have to leave, go back to the life she had planned before
meeting Braden, before her whole world had changed.

She tried to ignore the pain that crept into
her heart at the thought of leaving. Her new job, which had once
seemed to offer the fulfilment she wanted, now seemed to be an
empty substitute for the love she would have to leave behind.

“I’ll get it!” Caitlin called out in response
to the insistent buzzing of the intercom.

“It’s ‘Ronica,” she pouted as she came back
to the kitchen. The happy atmosphere dimmed. Jenna pushed harder on
the rolling pin and grimaced as the pastry thinned too much and
broke. She looked up at Braden, but already he was mentally removed
from her. He sliced the rest of the apple into the bowl, wiped his
hands and walked to the door.

Resentment spiked through Jenna. She and
Caitlin had been cooking when Braden had strolled into the kitchen,
put in his order for apple pie and promptly took apples out of the
fridge and began peeling them. It felt so right, somehow, the three
of them working together like a family. And now Veronica had
arrived to burst the joyful bubble that had surrounded the three of
them since yesterday.

Jenna sighed as Veronica simpered over
Caitlin, telling her how wonderful it was to hear her sweet voice
again. Caitlin listened with more forbearance than politeness, then
sauntered out into the courtyard.

Veronica raised an elegant eyebrow at Jenna
and Jenna realized how untidy she must look in comparison to
Veronica’s impeccably attired figure. Veronica looked as though she
had stepped straight off a page in Vogue magazine - executive women
section. Caramel suit with rich yellow blouse, yellow leather shoes
and matching handbag, delicate string of pearls at the smooth,
lightly tanned throat. She carried a leather business folder in one
hand.

A curl fell across Jenna’s eyes and she
pushed it away impatiently. A fine cloud of flour followed her hand
and sprinkled her nose. Oh, what the heck! There was flour on her
shirt and she hadn’t put make-up on after she’d finished Caitlin’s
exercises in the pool this morning. So she looked like the cook.
She felt like the cook! In comparison to Veronica anyone would feel
like the cook.

A clean folded handkerchief appeared in
Braden’s hand and he smiled at her as he wiped the flour from her
face.

“Sorry to have to leave you to finish the
pie. I like it with sultanas if you have any.”

For a smile like that she would have given
him the whole vineyard! She glanced past his broad shoulder at
Veronica. If looks could kill Jenna knew she would be featured in
tomorrow’s obituary notices. Veronica’s back was rigid as she
stalked up the hall to Braden’s study.

Jenna was cleaning up the dishes when she
heard Veronica’s voice telling Braden she would let herself out.
Jenna waited for the front door to open. Instead, Veronica walked
into the kitchen. Her pale blue eyes gleamed with malice.

“I’m sure you’re not naive enough to believe
that rubbish about the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,
Jenna,” she hissed. “You’re way out of your league. Take my advice
and run back to wherever you came from and play with someone on
your own level.”

Before Jenna could reply to this astonishing
attack Veronica spun sharply on her heel and marched from the
room.

Jenna was so stunned by what Veronica had
said that she failed to see Caitlin’s slight figure slip into the
kitchen. So she found herself startled when a little voice stated
emphatically, “I hate ’Ronica.”

“Caitlin! You can’t say that.”

“But I do! Anyway, Mummy said she’s a cold
fish.” Caitlin’s bottom lip stuck out defiantly.