The Marriage Merger (18 page)

Soft little prickles of awareness gradually
eased into her being - Braden’s hard, lean body, warm and
reassuringly secure on hers, his face close to hers, warm breath
feathering her cheek, eyes closed in exhaustion. Then his eyelids
fluttering open, his look of shock, disbelief. Her own heart
plummeting as she read his reaction.

Oh, no, he hadn’t wanted what had just
happened between them. The overwhelming sexual torrent that raged
between them had carried them both beyond their control. But she
loved him, and to her their love-making was an expression of that
love. But the shock in his eyes showed her that it was different
for him. She cringed at the look of horror on his face.

“Jinx!”

It took her several seconds to register it
wasn’t Braden saying her name, but Caitlin’s voice calling from the
hallway. Braden realized it too, and rolled off her. Grateful for
the chance to escape before any recriminations could be made, she
ran to the bathroom and slipped into her robe.

As she pulled open the bedroom door she heard
Braden’s dazed voice say her name but she stepped into the hallway
and closed the door firmly behind her.

Her heart was beating rapidly and tears
misted her eyes but she saw Caitlin hurrying towards her and held
her arms out to the child.

“Jinx, I had a bad dream and I called you and
you didn’t come and I looked for you but I couldn’t find you,” she
sobbed into Jenna’s shoulder.

“Hush, hush. I’m here.” Jenna’s slim fingers
soothed Caitlin’s dark hair. She carried the girl back to her bed
and laid her down.

“Stay with me, Jinx. Please don’t go away.”
Caitlin’s eyes were huge in her pale face and Jenna’s heart
wrenched as she remembered similar grey eyes that had only moments
earlier ignited with a passion that had blazed out of control.

Braden, Braden, why couldn’t you love me? How
can I stay here now? Every time I see you I’ll feel your lips on
mine, your hands caressing my body, the ecstasy you gave me - and
I’ll see the look in your eyes that told me what a terrible mistake
you thought it was.

She lay down next to the child and gathered
her in her arms. Gradually the trembling in the small body eased
and she relaxed against Jenna with a soft sigh.

Jenna heard Braden’s footsteps in the
hallway. They stopped outside the bedroom door. She tensed, waiting
for him to open the door and walk in, but after a moment he moved
away.

How long she lay there Jenna wasn’t sure.
Caitlin fell into a deep sleep. Jenna couldn’t sleep - her mind
replayed again and again the pleasure she had found in Braden’s
arms. And the cruelty of memory also wouldn’t let her forget the
shock and horror she had seen in his eyes. Her heart felt as though
it was slowly being crushed in a vice.

As she eased away from the sleeping child the
full realization of what she had just done hit her with
stomach-plummeting force. For the first time in her life she had
had unprotected sex!

Swiftly she did mental calculations. The
timing couldn’t be worse. She was at her peak conception time. The
fear of pregnancy suddenly oscillated with the thrill of
expectation that she could have Braden’s child. She had always
wanted children, and the love she felt for Braden would easily
extend to his child. More so, because it was obvious it would be
the only part of him she could ever have.

The thought of AIDS and other STDs briefly
entered her mind but was squashed by the firm conviction that
Braden had such control over his life that he would never allow
himself to get caught like that. No wonder he was horrified to have
lost control like he had. And perhaps part of his horror at making
love with her was because he thought she might have something
contagious. Tears trickled slowly down her cheeks. The only
contagious thing she had was love and he was not likely to catch
that.

Deep painful sobs racked her body. She ran to
her own bedroom and shut the door.

CHAPTER TWELVE

This time there was no note.

Jenna half expected him to be gone when she
finally dragged herself out of bed at eight o’clock and wandered
into the kitchen. She felt terrible. Her head ached from lack of
sleep. Caitlin was watching Sesame Street on television and called
out that the plumber had been around at six o’clock and fixed the
tap and Uncle Braden had gone to Brisbane.

She made herself a strong cup of tea and
drank it in miserable silence. At least she would be able to use
her own bathroom. The thought of having to use Braden’s was too
painful to contemplate.

Her toiletry bag was sitting on the vanity
basin. All her toiletries were neatly placed inside. All except her
soap. He must have missed that she thought bitterly. Probably in
too much of a hurry to get rid of all the reminders of me and the
big mistake he made.

Tears threatened to spill but she pulled
herself together. She wondered if he was coming back tonight. What
would she say if he did? How would she behave? Her imagination
swung from wonderful scenarios of him sweeping in and declaring his
love for her to him coming back and telling her she was no longer
wanted.

Her mind told her that just because he had
let lust carry him away, she shouldn’t think that that would lead
to love. But she found herself daring to hope that perhaps, just
maybe, there might be a future for them. Then reality would remind
her that in a week she would be gone anyway. One week. Seven days.
One hundred and sixty-eight hours to hope that he might come to
love her. Before she would have to leave him.

In the end she resolved that she would wait
for him to make the first move. After all, he’d made the first move
last night, hadn’t he! But she hadn’t pushed him away. She’d tried,
but she’d had no resistance in the face of his passion and her
overwhelming need.

Although she did the housework and continued
Caitlin’s exercises, the day seemed to drag. So in the afternoon
she cooked casseroles, lasagne and quiches, baked biscuits and
slices, and froze all but what was needed for the next day or two.
The activity helped to keep her anxiety at an almost tolerable
level. At five o’clock she was just starting to tackle the cleaning
up when the intercom buzzed.

Caitlin scurried over and answered it.

“It’s ‘Ronica!” she called.

Veronica! That’s all she needed.

“Tell her your Uncle Braden is still in
Brisbane,” she told Caitlin with a great deal of satisfaction. The
last thing she felt like putting up with at the moment was
Veronica’s supercilious attitude.

“She says she wants to talk to you. Says it’s
important.”

A sharp knife of worry sliced into Jenna. Had
something happened to Braden? Had he had an accident? She could
think of no other reason Veronica would condescend to talk to
her.

“Let her in,” she told Caitlin, and tried to
tidy herself up as much as she could. Every time she saw Veronica
she looked every inch the housekeeper she was paid to be. The
thought rankled, even if she told herself she didn’t care what the
other woman thought of her.

Veronica, as usual, was dressed impeccably, a
kingfisher blue buttoned-through sheath with white accessories to
match the buttons, and just the right amount of elegantly
under-stated gold jewellery. She greeted Jenna with a deceptively
friendly smile.

“I was just passing so I thought I’d pop in
to finalize the arrangements for tonight,” she simpered.

Jenna eyed her warily. She doubted if
Veronica had ever “popped in” anywhere in her life. Every thing the
woman did was as coldly calculated as a cash register
operation.

“What arrangements?” she asked guardedly.

Veronica looked surprised, but Jenna doubted
the sincerity of the expression.

“Oh, did Braden forget to tell you? I was
sure he hadn’t, he even said you were coming.”

“Coming where?” Somehow Jenna felt she was
being dangled a bait, and like the unsuspecting fish, couldn’t see
the hidden hook.

“I’m having a dinner party tonight. It’s a
rather important occasion. Braden and I have a little ...
announcement to make.”

“Announcement?” Jenna echoed, and a feeling
of dread sludged into her stomach.

“Yes, well,” Veronica attempted to look coy,
but the triumphant gleam in her eyes ruined the effect, “we’re
going to announce our ... merger. It’s something we’ve been
arranging for some time. Even you must be able to see how very ...”
she gave a knowing smirk “...suitable... we are for each other.
Braden is a very intelligent man. Intelligent ... and virile.” She
ran the tip of her tongue across her teeth. “I like that in a
man.”

Jenna felt sick. She stared at Veronica as
though the woman was speaking an incomprehensible language. Merger
... suitable ... the words reverberated in her mind, echoing
against the argument she had had with Braden. Marriage merger ...
he’d liked the sound of that. A contract that satisfies the needs
of the people involved. Was that what Veronica was saying?

And virile. Well, she certainly knew just how
virile he was. She wondered what Veronica would say if she told her
what her intelligent and virile man had been up to last night. The
thought stunned her. He had made love to her even though he was
arranging to marry Veronica! How could he? She knew his views on
love and marriage but surely ...

Yes, that would explain the horror on his
face. His lust for her had made him betray his marriage agreement
to Veronica. The enormity of what Veronica had said finally hit
her. There was no longer even a tiny spark of hope that Braden
would return and declare that he loved her, because it was clear
that what had happened between them wasn’t something he had
planned. He had his future mapped out, and that future included
Veronica, not her.

“I thought it would be nice for you to come
along and celebrate with us, Jenna. You deserve some relaxation,
you’ve worked so hard with Caitlin. And Braden agreed.”

Jenna thought she would choke. Braden agreed!
She bet that was before he dropped his guard and took her to bed
last night. Just how was he going to feel taking the woman he’d
made love to to the dinner party of the woman he was going to
marry? And how was she going to feel? Every part of her body and
mind wanted him, loved him, and she would have to stand there and
watch him announce his intention to marry Veronica.

“I can’t possibly leave Caitlin,” she
gasped.

Veronica waved a delicate hand. "It’s all
taken care of. My cousin’s nanny, a most reliable woman, is coming
over here to look after Caitlin.” She turned to Caitlin who had
gone back to sit on the lounge. “You won’t mind Jenna coming out
with your Uncle Braden for the evening, will you, Caitlin?”

“No. If she’s going with Uncle Braden that’s
okay,” Caitlin said and returned to watching television.

“You see, dear, there’s no problem. The nanny
will be here by six so you can give her instructions, and I’ll
expect you by seven.” She turned and walked to the door.

“Oh, by the way,” she smiled at Jenna as she
opened the door, “it’s formal.” She looked Jenna up and down, and
Jenna could see the barely-disguised animosity in her gaze. “I
suppose you don’t have anything entirely ... appropriate ... to
wear, but I guess you can make do.”

She shut the door behind her.

That woman! She’d done it deliberately. Jenna
realized Veronica had waited until it would be impossible for her
to have the time to dash out and buy something appropriate to wear.
She was hoping Jenna would turn up looking so out of place that
Braden would see just how inappropriate she was to his
lifestyle.

Jenna wasn’t fooled. She knew jealousy when
she saw it. Had Braden told Veronica how he was fighting his
physical attraction to his housekeeper? Had the pair of them
decided on this sudden marriage in order to be rid of her?

The pain that had simmered in Jenna’s heart
all day now bubbled over into white hot fury. Veronica wanted her
to turn up looking like Cinderella without the aid of the fairy
godmother, did she! And Braden. How dare he use her like he had! He
might lust after her body but obviously she wasn’t suitable to
share his life.

She cleaned the kitchen in a flurry, banging
pots and pans in an unspoken venting of her anger. By the time she
heard Braden’s key in the lock the kitchen was sparkling clean and
her anger had cooled into a solid core of icy resentment.

Braden dropped his briefcase on the floor and
flexed his back and shoulder muscles. He walked over to where Jenna
was scribbling out a shopping list.

“Hello, Jenna.”

If she had looked up she would have seen the
anxiety in his eyes, the worried frown that drew his dark brows
together. Even the softness of his voice should have alerted her,
but she was rigid with the pain that filled her.

“Jenna, we have to talk.”

She turned around then, trying to keep her
tone neutral, to display a calmness she was far from feeling.

“I have nothing to say to you, Braden, except
that it appears you have already agreed that I should accompany you
this evening to Veronica’s little charade. Apparently you didn’t
consider it important enough to bother informing me. But as the
arrangements have already been made I shall just have to suffer
through it.” She glanced at her watch. “There’s not much time left
so I’m going to get ready.”

She went to walk past him, but he moved to
stop her, ang grabbed her by the arm. Before he could speak, the
intercom buzzed.

“That will be the baby-sitter Veronica
arranged. I’d better let her in.”

A pulse beat rapidly in his neck. “This may
not be the time, Jenna, but we will talk.”

The words contained as much threat as
promise, and Jenna steeled herself to gaze unflinchingly back at
him. Inside she was trembling, thrilling to the feel of his hand on
her arm and the powerful sexuality of his body so close to hers,
yet hating him for the way she felt.