The Maverick Preacher (21 page)

He wanted the story.

He suspected he was about to be devoured.

He sipped the coffee, then looked at Brick, who was wiping glasses with his apron. Josh felt good about the changes in the man’s life. He’d taken down the tawdry picture above the bar and replaced it with a mirror. He’d written his sister, too. She might never receive the letter, but Brick had asked for forgiveness. Josh saw a new calm in his eyes.

Brick turned and wiped the counter. “I hear talk you’re taking over that big church on Colfax Avenue.”

“Maybe.”

“Never been there myself,” he said. “I’d miss Sunday mornings here.”

“So go there,” Josh replied.

“No, thanks.” Brick kept dragging the rag in wide circles. “Tell me something, Reverend. How do you know what’s best? Seems to me you can preach here or you can preach there. You’ve got a choice.”

“That’s right.”

“So how do you decide?”

“I’ll pray about it, maybe ask a friend for advice.” Josh drummed his fingers on the warm mug. The barkeep had been in business for a while and had heard a lot of stories. “You’re a smart man. Any thoughts for me?”

Brick looked pleased by the respect. “My granny had a saying. ‘When you don’t know what’s right, do what’s hard.’”

A customer called for the barkeep’s attention. As Brick turned away, Josh thought about his advice. Accepting the position at Colfax Avenue Church would test him to the limits. He’d have to fight his pride every day and he’d hurt Adie’s feelings more than he already had. The thought made his chest ache. He’d go wherever God led him, but he had to be sure he belonged in this particular lion’s den.

As Josh sipped coffee, the perfect test came to mind. He’d take the position under one condition. The elder board had to vote unanimously to approve him. The more he considered the plan, the more he liked it. Dean would have to vote yes or resign. Either way, the banker would lose his influence over the church. Would Adie see the logic? Josh hoped so, but he couldn’t let his feelings dictate his choice.

If the board didn’t vote unanimously, he’d face another tough decision. He could stay in Denver and preach at Brick’s, head home to Boston or go back to drifting. Josh stared at the murky dregs in his cup. Boston didn’t appeal to him and neither did drifting. He wanted to stay in Denver where he could see Adie and Stephen and be a small part of their lives.

Small…

The word rankled him in the worst way. He didn’t believe in a
small
God and he didn’t want a
small
piece of Adie’s life. He wanted to love her with everything he had to give. He’d already paid off the mortgage on Swan’s Nest. Starting next month, she’d receive an allowance, one that would pay for roast beef every night.

The only loose end was Dean. Would he leave Adie alone once Pearl left? Soon Pearl and Tobias would leave for Cheyenne. Then what? Josh didn’t know, but he was certain of one thing. He couldn’t leave Denver until Dean no longer posed a threat to Adie. Short of death or a prison term, the banker wasn’t likely to leave town.

As he swallowed the dregs of his coffee, Josh thought of the advice from Brick’s grandmother.

Do what’s hardest.

At tomorrow’s meeting he’d stand his ground. If the elders voted unanimously to hire him, he’d accept the offer. If they didn’t, he’d stay as long as Adie needed protection, loving her from afar. Both answers struck Josh as hard, but even more
painful was the thought of leaving Denver for good. He didn’t want to do it, but staying posed a different threat to Adie. Even if Josh kept his distance, their feelings for each other would grow. Until she made peace with God, Josh would be a distraction at best, an impediment at worst.

He set the mug on the counter, left money for Brick and left the saloon. With his thoughts in a jumble, he went back to the parsonage to pray.

“T
ell us, Reverend Blue. What was your greatest achievement in Boston?”

The question came from Franklin Dean, but the other six elders, seated in a row at the front of the crowded meeting hall, were just as eager for Josh’s answer. He’d been asked to stand at a podium placed to the side of the elders. When he looked straight ahead, he saw Dean. If he turned his head to the side, he saw a roomful of people. Mary, Bessie and Caroline had come to show their support, but he didn’t know anyone else. He hadn’t expected Pearl or Adie.

He’d also had a talk with Tobias. At Josh’s request, the older man had refrained from repeating his achievements. He’d given a simple introduction, allowing Josh to set the tone himself. He intended to keep the focus on what he believed and why, not on who he’d been. He also wanted his personality to show. He had a dry sense of humor. If the elders didn’t care for it, they deserved to know now.

Josh looked directly at Dean. “
My
greatest achievement?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s see.” He looked at the ceiling as if he were thinking,
then back at the board. “I learned to ride a pony at the age of four. I was
very
proud of myself.”

Three of the elders chuckled. Three others scowled and Dean looked smug.

Josh flashed a smile. “I mean no disrespect, gentlemen. But I
do
feel strongly about the point I hope to make. There was a time when I’d have stood here and rattled off my schooling, the revivals I’ve preached and the size of the crowds. That day is long gone. Like the Apostle Paul, I count my achievements as dust compared to what Christ did for us on the cross.”

He looked each man, even Dean, in the eye. “My greatest achievement, if there is such a thing, is remembering who I’d be without God’s grace.”

Smythe and another man acknowledged him with easy nods. The other five listened with a mix of boredom and disdain. Smythe started to ask a question, but Tobias, seated in the front row, stood up. “Reverend Blue is too modest to speak for himself, but his church in Boston grew in size from twenty to five hundred in just a few years.”

Josh hated to contradict Tobias, but he couldn’t let the remark stand. “That’s true,” he said to the elder board. “I took pride in filling those pews. Then a friend of mine, a shootist named Wes Daniels, said
he
could have gotten twice that number.”

“How?” asked an elder.

“By giving away free drinks.”

Half the crowd chuckled. Smythe looked pleased. Josh turned to the audience. “The measure of a minister’s success isn’t in crowded pews. It’s in changed lives.”

Tobias shot Josh a look, then stood again. “I agree, but it’s only fair to say that you’ve changed more lives than most. At one revival alone, the newspaper said you spoke to—”

Josh held up his hand. “I appreciate Reverend Oliver’s support, but—”

“Go on, Tobias.”

The interruption came from Dean. Behind Josh, people murmured with a mix of approval and curiosity. Tobias had remained standing and was describing Josh as if he could walk on water. When he sat, Dean looked directly at Josh.

“Tell us, Reverend. With all your accomplishments, why did you leave Boston?”

At last they were on Josh’s turf. “I’m glad you asked. The story starts with—”

Dean broke in. “Your sister was a woman of low moral character. Isn’t that why you left?”

“What?”

The banker looked smug. “There’s evidence she committed the sin of fornication—”

“Hold it right there.” Josh had been ready for Dean to throw stones at him, but Emily? No way would he let his sister be dragged through the mud. He felt every eye on his face, studying the angle of his chin, the color in his cheeks, watching and waiting for his reaction. He looked at the elders one by one, reading each man’s expression; then he faced the crowd. What he had to say would singe a few ears. “My sister was a fine woman. It’s true she made a mistake, but the questionable character was mine. She—”

Dean interrupted. “We don’t need the disgusting details.”

“I think you do,” Josh answered.

Three of the elders scowled. Smythe held Josh’s gaze, urging him silently to continue. As Josh opened his mouth, Dean broke in. “Is it true you’ve suffered from a stomach ailment?”

“Yes.”

“And that you used laudanum?”

“Yes.”

“To excess?”

No matter how Josh answered, Dean would twist his words.
The banker didn’t want truth; he wanted ammunition. Josh scrutinized the crowd. Some looked troubled, others sympathetic. No one stood to defend him. Mary, Bessie and Caroline were trading angry whispers, but this church’s traditions prohibited women from speaking, a rule Josh thought was mistaken. He glanced at Tobias and saw a frown. In spite of the older man’s upset, Josh could breathe easy. He’d told Tobias everything about his past.

He’d have told his story to the elder board, but he could see in their flat expressions that his fate had been decided, probably before he’d set foot in the meeting hall. Dean had poisoned the well against him and he’d done a good job. Josh wouldn’t go after him personally, but a few things needed to be said.

He spoke directly to Dean. “You know my story better than I do. By all means, tell it.”

Wearing a smirk masked with concern, the banker shared everything Josh had revealed to the congregation at Brick’s Saloon, including failings he’d admitted to a small group of men. Horace had been in that gathering and was clearly Dean’s source. Josh figured Dean would save the biggest rock for last, and he did.

The banker laced his fingers on the tabletop. “Is it true, Reverend, that you’ve visited Miss Elsa’s Social Club?”

The congregation gasped.

“I sure have,” Josh said boldly. “It paid off, too. Two young ladies come to services now.” Gretchen hadn’t missed a single Sunday at Brick’s and had brought a friend. Josh hoped she’d leave Miss Elsa’s and felt bad that he hadn’t spoken to Adie about offering her a room.

“Men have their weaknesses,” Dean said. “But we expect a higher standard from our minister.”

Josh also knew from Brick that Dean was a frequent guest at the brothel. He crossed his arms. “Is that so?”

“Absolutely.” The banker stared hard. “You live at Swan’s Nest, an establishment for single women. Is that true?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Some of us find that inappropriate.”

Tobias shoved to his feet. He looked ready to choke the daylights out of the banker. “
You
of all people have no right to—”

“I’m pointing out facts.”

“Let me help you,” Josh said in a full voice. “I left Boston to search for my sister. She was with child, out of wedlock, a woman who made the mistake of falling in love and giving in to temptation. To protect my pride, I drove her out of Boston. Some of you
gentlemen—
” he looked from elder to elder “—would have applauded that decision. I see it as my biggest mistake. Instead of showing my sister the same grace Christ has shown to me, I threw stones at her.”

He faced the crowd. “I was a Pharisee, a hypocrite.” He told the audience about his laudanum addiction, how he’d sought praise and hidden his mistakes; then he looked back at the elders. “Mr. Dean asked what I considered my greatest accomplishment. Here it is. I learned the hard way—at the expense of my sister’s life—that Christ died for all of us. That includes you
fine
gentlemen.”

Josh glanced at Tobias. The man looked both stunned and pleased, as if he’d realized he should have given this speech before now.

Josh faced the elder board. “Let me ask each of you, are your lives so perfect that you can sit there and judge me?” He let a full minute pass. “Who’s been to Miss Elsa’s besides Frank here?”

Two of the men turned red.

“Who drinks too much?”

A third glared at him.

“How about lying?” Josh looked straight at the fifth man.
He held Josh’s stare and gave a little nod. This man, Josh sensed, understood the point he hoped to make.

Josh gentled his voice. “I don’t have anything else to say, only that God loves us just as we are. We’re fearfully, wonderfully made. He knit each of us in our mother’s womb. He counts the hairs on our heads. We can’t hide from Him, ladies and gentlemen. The good news is, we don’t have to.”

No one said a word.

Josh turned back to the board. “If you still want me for your pastor, I’d be honored to serve, but I have a requirement of my own. Tonight’s vote has to be unanimous. As it says in the Bible, a house divided against itself cannot stand. I won’t be the cause of dividing this church.”

Josh strode down the aisle and out the door. He’d wait outside for the vote, but he felt certain he’d never preach in this building again.

Adie had been sitting on the porch for two hours, peering down the street in search of Bessie, Caroline and Mary. She’d considered going to the meeting, even sitting outside and listening through an open window, but she’d lost her nerve. Ever since her talk with Mary, she’d felt heavy with guilt. She owed Josh amends but didn’t know how to make them. Apologizing for her unkind words felt as incomplete as unrisen bread, but neither could she speak the whole truth. She loved him. She wanted to be his wife, but how could she marry a minister when she still felt bitter toward God?

She didn’t know, but tonight she had hope. If the elders offered Josh the position, maybe she could see past Reverend Honeycutt and old hurts. Everything depended on tonight’s vote.

Hushed voices came from the street. Adie jumped to her feet and saw her friends approaching Swan’s Nest. Unable to wait, she hurried down the steps. “Did he get elected?”

“Yes and no,” Bessie replied.

What did
that
mean? As the women trudged up the steps, Adie went ahead to the parlor, where she turned up the lamp. Caroline plopped onto the divan. She looked as if she’d seen a wagon accident, one where the horse broke its leg and had to be put down. Mary held her chin high, as if she were back in the town where she’d faced an angry mob. Bessie, as always, wore the placid look of a woman who’d lost everything, survived and knew others could do the same.

Mary sat in the rocking chair. Bessie took the spot next to her sister, leaving Adie to pull up a side chair. No one sat in Josh’s place.

“Josh did us proud,” Bessie said. “But he won’t be taking the position.”

“They voted him down?” Adie asked.

“Not exactly,” said Mary.

Adie listened as her friends described the first half of the meeting. She could imagine Josh sparring with the elders. When Mary told about Dean’s assault on Emily, Adie burned with fury. If ever a man had paid for his mistakes, it was Josh. She hated Franklin Dean more than ever. Neither did she care for the people who’d let the verbal abuse take place.

Adie’s conscience spoke in a whisper.
Where were you?
She wouldn’t have been allowed to speak in Josh’s defense, but she could have supported him with a look, a smile at the right time. “I wish I’d gone.”

“It got ugly,” Caroline said.

“Did he take Dean to task?” Adie hoped so.

Mary laughed. “Josh took
everyone
to task. By the time he finished, every person in the room knew two things. No one’s perfect and Jesus loves us anyway.”

Caroline looked at Adie. “Josh walked out, but not before making a demand of his own. He said the vote had to be
unanimous or he wouldn’t take the position. He went outside to wait. That’s when
everyone
started to talk. Women, too.”

“Really?” Pearl walked into the parlor. “That’s never happened before.”

Caroline and Mary made room for her on the divan. Adie glanced at Josh’s empty chair and wished she hadn’t asked him to leave Swan’s Nest. Crazy or not, the accusations had to have left a mark. She couldn’t stand the thought of Josh enduring the ordeal alone.

“What did people say?” she asked.

Mary looked grim. “Some criticized him. Others sang his praises. Reverend Oliver and a man named Smythe took Josh’s side, but two others said he was a troublemaker.”

Adie’s mouth gaped. “Josh is the kindest man I’ve ever known.”

“Me, too,” Mary added.

Pearl looked pinched. “Did anyone mention Frank and me?”

“Not at the meeting,” Mary replied. “But lots of women asked how you are. One said to tell you her husband took his money out of Dean’s bank.” Mary lifted Pearl’s hand and squeezed. “You won, Pearl. No matter what happens, people know not to trust Franklin Dean.”

Tears welled in the girl’s eyes. “I’m glad.”

“Me, too,” Adie said with venom. “He deserves worse.”

“And someday he’ll get it,” Bessie answered. “Right now I’m worried about Josh.”

“Me, too,” Caroline said.

Adie needed to hear the rest of the story. “What was the vote?”

Bessie’s lips curved up. “Four to three in Josh’s favor.”