The Mind Games (20 page)

He smiled a smile that lifted only the left corner of his mouth, as if too tired to smile fully. “Cameron?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t have any memories of us.”

My heart clenched, the reminder still painful. Live in the moment, I had to remind myself, not the past. I squeezed his hand. How depressed I’d been when he hadn’t remembered me. Now I didn’t care; I only wanted him to live.

“I don’t think I will ever remember.”

I glanced at the house, wondering what was taking them so long. “I know.”

“What I’m trying to say is…” He placed my hand on his chest where I could feel his heart thump painfully weak. Where the hell was my mom? “I don’t remember us, but I remember you here.”

His words broke through the wall I’d been constructing so carefully all these years. A flood of emotions washed over me… feelings I had repressed, feelings that I didn’t dare dwell on too closely.

“I don’t have a past, I don’t have a family, but I have you.”

It was what I needed to hear. It was all he needed to say. “Shhh,” I whispered, leaning into him.

Our lips met and I was startled by how cold he felt. I shifted, half atop him, hoping to warm him with my body, my mouth. When his lips parted, I slid my tongue inside, frantic to be as close to him as possible. It was no sweet kiss, but a kiss born of desperation.

From somewhere in the city a police siren screamed out reminding me of the ridiculousness of our situation. We were being chased by people who wanted us dead. Yet, none of it mattered. In that car, with Lewis, I felt completely safe and alone. For a couple minutes anyway.

The door screeched open, ruining the moment. I pulled back, hiding my flushed face behind the curtain of my hair.

“Seriously?” Nora sighed. “You’re little make-out session is going to have to wait.”

I shifted, moving away and realized Lewis was unconscious again.

“Look at that, he was so overcome by your kiss, he fainted,” Nora said drolly.

“It’s not a joke.” I scrambled from the car, fear gnawing at my insides like a starving mutt with a bone.

“Come on Sleeping Beauty.” Nora slid her arms around Lewis’ chest and tugged him from the back seat.

As I raced around the bumper I noticed Aaron standing next to Nora and Father Myron on the front stoop. Wonderful. Nora wasn’t our only witness. Aaron looked angry, but I knew it wasn’t about the little make-out session. He, of course, couldn’t understand why I would give my life, give up their location, in order to save Lewis. How could he understand when he had no sense of empathy?

As he shifted his gaze to Lewis, that look of anger turned to one of worry. “Hurry,” he said.

If Aaron was worried, it must be bad. Father Myron rushed down the steps, his robes billowing around him. Together he and Aaron managed to juggle Lewis’ lanky body toward the house.

“Where’s mom?” I asked, hurrying after them.

Nora raced up the steps beside me. “Inside.”

“Is she angry?”

“What do you think?” Nora slid her arm around my shoulders and grinned. “Our first sibling punishment.”

I shrugged her off, in no mood to chat and jest, and followed Aaron into the house. They rested Lewis on the sofa, his lifeless body sprawled across the cushions. I had planned a speech, but seeing him, the excuses dried up.

Near the fireplace my mother stood waiting, arms crossed, eyes narrowed into a disapproving glare. “What the hell were you thinking?”

I gritted my teeth, flushing even more. I didn’t care what she thought. “You weren’t in danger. Nora would have warned you—”

She slammed her hands onto the mantel. “And if Nora had been caught? What then?”

“You would have known,” I snapped. “You knew the moment you realized we weren’t in our beds where we’d gone.”

“Watch it,” Aaron hissed, standing up for my mom.

But Mom didn’t respond to my argument, and I knew I was right. I’d been guessing, but heck, maybe she had known even before we’d left.

“Do you realize the jeopardy you’ve put us in?” Aaron continued, crossing his arms over his chest and doing his best imitation of a disapproving parent.

I had this odd feeling the man hated me, although why, I wasn’t sure. Maybe because of my father. Maybe because I had escaped him and regained my memory. Or maybe just because I was more powerful than he. I didn’t care. All that mattered was Lewis. I could only pray they’d set aside their petty argument and help me.

“It was worth it.”

He stepped forward, as if to intimidate me, but I swore I wouldn’t cower. “Worth the rest of our lives?”

My hands balled at my sides as I resisted the urge to give in to my anger. “You were never in danger, and I couldn’t leave him to die.”

His jaw clenched and unclenched as he fought his irritation. It was so obvious by the flash of his eyes that he wanted to blame me for this entire war. Nora shifted, moving toward the fireplace, but not before I noticed the amusement in her gaze. Arguing about pointless situations, finding amusement in my suffering, did none of these people understand the direness of the situation? So much for being a family I could count on.

“Enough.” My mom pushed her way between us. Aaron might act the arrogant ass, but Mom was in charge. “Take Lewis to the guest room.”

Considering I had been using the guest room, I didn’t argue with their decision. I’d have him nearby and I didn’t plan on leaving his side. Aaron and Father Myron lifted Lewis and carried him up the steps. Was it my imagination or did Lewis look paler than before?

“Will you help him?” I immediately asked my mom.

“No.”

I stiffened, startled by her refusal. Nora slumped onto the couch, unconcerned, but watching us as if watching a T.V. show. I ignored my sister, wondering why I had ever thought that I could grow to appreciate her. And trust my mother? Ha! As if that would ever happen. “You’re seriously going to punish him for what I’ve done?”

“If you want to save him, you do it.” She started toward the stairs, her steps unhurried and unconcerned.

“And how the hell do I do that?”

She didn’t respond, but disappeared into the guest room, leaving me alone and confused.

“You’re the carrier of the source,” Nora said, her voice sounding slightly miffed. She stood and moved toward the front door. “Like, use the force, Luke. Duh.”

She tore open the door and disappeared outside.

Use the source?
Use the source?
Were they joking? But as I stood alone in the living room, I realized I had no time to wait. I started up the steps, taking them two at a time. “An instruction manual would be really great about now!”

My mom waited at the bedroom door, as if expecting me. “You have the source within you; you can use it to heal Lewis.”

I raked my hair back in frustration. “How?”

“Everything in this world is made of energy.” She shifted so I could stand in the doorway with her. Lewis lay upon the bed, Aaron and Father Myron hovering over him like some sort of angels of death. “Our cells, our very beings, are composed of energy.”

I’d heard it all before. What was her point? Lewis wasn’t moving. His face was as white as the pillow case his head rested upon. He wasn’t even sweating anymore. No, his face was a smooth as marble. The only thing that mattered was saving him; screw this mythology lesson. I started to push past her, but she latched onto my arm, stopping me.

“The source flows through you. Redirect the energy and replenish Lewis.” She shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with him that you can see, it’s a lack of energy.”

Her words gave me hope; she made it seem so easy. But I still wasn’t sure I could actually do what she claimed I could. Heck, I still wasn’t sure I was actually the carrier of the source that everyone believed I was.

“Can he die from a lack of energy?”

“Yes.”

I shouldn’t have asked; I’d already known. It was obvious he was dying just by looking at him. “Help me.” It wasn’t a question but a plea.

“No.” Her voice came out hard, unrelenting.

My fingers curled as heated anger flared through me. How much I hated her in that moment. Why was she being so cruel? But then this was the woman who had abandoned me. I thought about saying those very words, wanting to hurt her as much as she’d hurt me, but Aaron started toward us.

“He needs help now,” he warned. “If you’re going to save him, I suggest getting to work.”

Father Myron leaned over Lewis, muttering some prayer. I could feel my mother watching me… waiting to see what I would do. It was a test, I knew that much. How dare she test me now, when the situation was so urgent. I shoved my way between Aaron and my mom, going to Lewis’ side.

“I’ll take care of him,” I snapped, probably a little too harshly, but I didn’t care. I just wanted them to leave…all of them.

Father Myron walked away, but I was so intent on Lewis, that I barely noticed. They’d undressed him and a sheet covered his lower half, but his chest was bare. Just as I’d assumed, he held no physical injury. I knelt beside him, taking his clammy hand in mine. He lay upon my bed, looking entirely too large for the room. He was still beautiful, kind, honorable, and he would die if I didn’t find a way to save him.

“Everyone out,” my mom snapped. And they listened to my mother, because she was in charge.

She moved toward me as the door shut. “Heal him.”

It was a test she was daring me to take. I glanced back at her. The look in her eyes said it all…it was time for me to take control of my powers. I had no choice but to try. If I failed…

“Put a hand on his chest, over his heart,” she said. “Another on his forehead, low, close to the eyes.”

I did as she told, worried over the chill feel of his skin. He didn’t even flinch as I touched him. His eyes closed, his breath shallow. I had no choice but to do as my mother wanted me to; I had no choice but to take over, to become one with the source…to use it… control it.

“Close your eyes and feel it within you. The energy. The source of all power.”

I closed my eyes and delved within. For a moment I merely floated in oblivion. Nothingness. Panic taunted the edge of my control. I tried to concentrate but in the back of my mind I worried about failing. What if it didn’t work?

“Breathe in, out.”

I took in a deep breath; another, and another concentrating on the air until I felt somewhat relaxed. Then it came… a tingling awareness that traveled through my body. A presence. An energy. That all knowing, all-consuming power that was always there, waiting to be released. I wanted to cry out in relief.

Every time I read someone’s thoughts, when I moved an object, caused someone pain, when I broke through that chip in Maddox’s head, the source had been there. An energy that I could use as I wished; to help or hinder.

Vaguely I was aware of my mom placing her hand on my shoulder. Her touch felt warm, too warm. The heated energy moved down my body, mixing with my own. Lewis stirred, but I didn’t dare open my eyes, didn’t dare move for fear I’d lose control. I knew she was using her own power to help direct mine.

“You’ve done it,” I thought I heard her say.

Suddenly the pressure of her hand was gone, but I still felt the energy flowing through me. It wasn’t coming from her, she merely helped it along. No, it was coming from the universe.

“There, you finish.” My mom stepped back.

Moments later I heard the soft click of the door, but couldn’t seem to pull away. I felt connected to Lewis, a part of him and he a part of me.

The heat remained, pouring into him, expanding his cells. I could practically feel him coming back to life. Lewis’ breath was even. His cheeks were flushed with color. I slid my hands away from him.

As the energy finally faded, leaving me tingling with an aftereffect, I felt weird, no longer part of this world. No longer part of my own body. It was as if I floated over the room.

It was my last thought before I slumped forward, onto his warm body, and sank into darkness.

I woke when Lewis shifted beside me. I didn’t remember what had happened, how I had ended up in bed cuddled next to him. I should have been embarrassed; instead I wanted to move closer and fall back to sleep. He was warm, so very warm and sleep called softly whispering promises of rest and ease.

“What happened?” I mumbled.

He moved his hand up my back in slow, mesmerizing motions. Through the cotton prison suit I still wore, I could feel his warmth. “You were out; practically falling from the bed. I pulled you up beside me.”

I’d passed out? “How long ago?” I muttered, confused, attempting to recall my last moments.

“Hours.”

Startled, I realized the light in the room wasn’t from a lamp but the moonlight filtering through the curtains. Somehow I’d fallen asleep. Or maybe I’d fainted. More importantly, how long had Lewis been awake? I searched my muddled mind, attempting to come up with a reason for the situation I suddenly found myself in. But I was tired, so very tired.

Giving up, I snuggled closer to his warm body, moving my hand up his flat stomach. I could feel the dips and planes of muscle even through the sheet that covered his bare skin. Constantly running for your life sure made a guy get in shape. Maybe lack of sleep made me bold, or maybe it was my feelings for him, but I found myself wanting to kiss Lewis, and for him to kiss me back.

“You okay?” I whispered.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” his voice came out rough and breathless. “I just wanted water, but didn’t want to wake you.”

“I’ll get it.” I started to push myself up but froze. Suddenly everything came rushing back. Lewis near death. My mom forcing me to use the source. Me… pouring energy into his body. And Lewis, Lewis was back! I jerked my gaze toward him. “You’re…
you
.”

He grinned, and for the first time in months I saw that dimple flash in his left cheek. “Yeah, were you expecting someone else?”

“No, just…” The relief I felt was immediate, sweeping through my body and consuming me with a heated flush that made me almost giddy. “You’re okay?”

He nodded, but I needed to feel him to know for sure. I reached out tentatively and slid my fingers over the side of his face. Lower my hands traveled, pushing aside the sheet, so I could run my fingers over the scar at his shoulder where the bullet had struck. So close to his heart. God, he was lucky to be here at all.