The young people gathered in the living room greeted them, and she took a seat next to Jacob. He already knew a few of the young men so they struck up a conversation.
Matthew asked them each to give a short account of how their week had been, and by the time it came around to Leah, she was relaxed and glad to share with the others. Leah was touched at their concern and care over her disagreement with her parents. How was it that near strangers seemed more concerned for her well-being than her own parents?
The meeting moved on to the Bible study, and she was happy to hear Matthew lead the group toward the Scriptures she’d read that week about salvation.
An hour later, Jacob and Leah were still talking to Matthew in a corner of the living room. The others had drifted off to chat and eat snacks in the kitchen, but her hunger was directed at knowing more about this salvation plan that didn’t require her to bend herself under a heavy yoke of rules and regulations.
“It’s what I yearn for, Matthew,” Leah said. “To know I’m truly saved and to no longer live in fear of breaking rules.” With Matthew’s help, Leah finally understood the free gift of grace offered to her by Jesus’ death on the cross and accepted it with joy. Something truly miraculous happened. She was like a new person—born again into a relationship with Jesus Christ. She was clean and blameless for the first time and felt loved beyond measure.
Matthew shared the good news with the others. Leah had accepted Christ and now she was ready to start her walk with Christ. She received many hugs as the ex-Amish prepared to leave and head home.
While Leah and Jacob stood by the door waiting for Matthew to take them back to the store, Naomi approached and gave her a hug.
“Leah, welcome to the family of God. I’m so glad you’ve accepted this wonderful gift from the Lord. Did Matthew give you some literature to read?”
“Yes, it’s here in my apron pocket. Thank you, Naomi.”
“Good. Now, let me know if there is anything we can do for you this week. I know it’s sometimes hard to adjust to this new way of thinking.”
“Thank you. I feel very hopeful my parents will understand once they hear what I’ve learned and experienced tonight.” She turned to Jacob. His smile was genuine, but there was a hint of worry in his eyes.
The ride back to Raysburg General Store was peaceful. Leah couldn’t wait to get home and share with her parents what had happened. As they approached the store, Matthew cleared his throat.
“Leah, I’m very proud of you tonight, and I know you have a calm feeling in your spirit, but I need to warn you that your parents may not be happy with your decision. Be prepared for them to confront you and not like what you tell them.”
“But I can’t think what would upset them. I’ve done nothing but have my soul filled with peace and assurance—”
“That’s the very thing they may get upset about. This group of Old Order Amish doesn’t believe in that kind of assurance. They won’t like hearing you say you know you’re going to heaven, especially since you haven’t yet been baptized or joined the church.”
Leah looked to Jacob, but he unexpectedly turned his face to the window and watched the parking lot approach. She was a little disappointed that both Matthew and Jacob dampened her joy about her telling her parents. “I’ll keep that in mind, Matthew.”
Just before he left, Matthew reminded Leah again that he and his wife were available anytime she needed to talk or if she wanted help of any kind. They would try to be there for her. He gave her his cell phone number, and Leah tucked it into the papers he’d given her at the Bible study.
When they got to the store, Erb was waiting, so they hurried to the buggy. Leah waved to Matthew as he remained standing by his car, watching as they drove into the night. A small frown creased his face. She felt a tiny flutter of anxiety start to grow. Still, Leah knew no matter how much opposition she encountered, she’d met the Savior, and there was no going back.
Jacob was quiet as the horse pulled the buggy back toward Leah’s house, but joy flowed in her heart and mind, easing the jitters she felt when thinking of her discussion with her parents.
“Jacob, I can’t believe how much better I feel! I wish you could know this feeling, too. Did you think about giving your heart to the Lord tonight?”
Jacob shuffled his feet uncomfortably and glanced at Erb. Keeping his voice low, he told Leah he was worried about what her parents would say. “They might think I didn’t keep my promise to look after you, Leah. Your
daet
might not even let me see you again.”
“I don’t think it will be that much of a problem. My parents want what’s best for me, you know.”
Jacob shook his head slightly and looked away from Leah, but she decided to leave whatever happened in
Gott
’s hands.
Except for a dim glow through the purple window coverings, no lights shone through the dark night from the neighbors’ houses. It was pretty late for Amish folk. As they pulled into the lane, she glanced at the windows. No light could be detected from inside. The front windows were dark, but she wondered if someone was still in the kitchen. Jacob helped her down and then waved as she opened the front door to the dark living room.
Maem
was sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of milk in her hand and a worried expression on her face. When she saw Leah walking toward her, she breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. “You’re not too late. That’s good. I think
Daet
was thinking you’d be out long after dark.”
Leah poured herself a glass of milk and sat down opposite
Maem
. She was relaxed and happy, a fuzzy warmth settling over her shoulders like a cozy quilt.
Maem
watched closely as she pulled a cookie from the jar on the table.
“
Maem
, tonight I made a decision, and it’s the best decision I’ve
ever
made.”
“You have?”
Maem
sounded surprised.
“Yes. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and now I
know
I’m going to heaven. You just can’t believe what a difference this has made to me already.” She munched the cookie happily, oblivious to her mother’s sudden stillness.
Maem
’s voice held a sharp tone. “What do you mean? You haven’t even been baptized or joined the church. How can you say you
know
you’re going to heaven? No one knows that for sure.”
“I found out by reading the Scriptures I don’t
have
to be baptized to be save—”
“Leah! You know that isn’t true!” Shock filled her mother’s face. Her hands shook as she set her glass of milk down forcefully.
“
Maem
, please, let me finish.” Leah could see Matthew was going to be right about this. Already
Maem
was looking back at her in disbelief. She stammered on anyway.
“I mean—once I accept Christ, it’s the ABC plan of salvation: accept I’m a sinner, believe in Christ as my savior, confess my sins so He can forgive them—”
Maem
jumped up from the table, her eyes confused and filled with fear. “Oh, Leah! You
can’t
mean this—you can’t mean what you’re saying!” She broke off, pacing as she wrung her hands in distress. “I can’t lose one of my children,” she whispered.
“
Maem!
I’m not going anywhere—”
“You’ll be as good as shunned. You’ll be talked about and won’t be as free as you once were to be with us! Can’t you
see
that?”
Maem
’s tears were running freely down her face. “Your
daet
—he’ll blame himself, and he’ll have to go to the bishop and tell him what you said, and then, well, the whole church will know, and they’ll be against you, too. You must not say
anything
about this to anyone else! Do you understand?”
Leah stood up and wrapped her arms around her mother’s shoulders to comfort her. Her hands trembled as she felt
Maem
’s shoulders shaking with emotion.
“Don’t worry. You’ll see,
Maem
. I haven’t done anything wrong.
Daet
and Bishop Miller will understand once they hear me out. It’s all in the Bible. Please, don’t cry.”
Maem
shook her head as she pulled from Leah’s embrace. “Daughter, I’ve been trying to keep this from happening! Don’t you see how
Daet
and I have done everything we could to keep you out of trouble?” She slapped her hand on the tabletop. “Why did you have to go to that meeting tonight? Why? Now we’ll have to tell what you’ve done, Leah!”
“But
Maem
, what have I done?”
“You’re saying things that are heresy! They aren’t true, and you’ve let Satan get ahold of your mind! Don’t you
know
that?”
The door to the kitchen opened, and
Daet
stepped into the dimly lit room. “What’s wrong? What’s going on in here?”
Maem
turned to him and wiped her eyes with a corner of her apron. “John, ask Leah what she just told me.”
Daet
turned, raised an eyebrow, and waited for Leah to explain.
“It’s just that … I think
Maem
doesn’t understand what I was saying.”
“I understood
exactly
what you were saying,”
Maem
interrupted.
Daet
looked from
Maem
to Leah and back to
Maem
again. He was confused.
“I told her I’m born again now,
Daet.
I accepted Christ as my Savior tonight. I know I’ll go to heaven—”
“What? Born again! You know you’re going to heaven?”
“Yes, you see, it’s not like we’ve been thinking all along,
Daet.
Being a Christian isn’t just doing good or following the
Ordnung
exactly. It isn’t about obeying the bishop or our parents.
Daet, none
of that will get me to heaven. The Bible says that only the blood of Jesus will get me to heaven. Nothing
I
can do will change my sinful heart—”
“Stop!”
Daet
squared his shoulders, and she heard him take a deep breath. “You will stop talking like this now! It’s prideful and sinful to say you’re going to heaven in such a way. No one can say they are going to heaven—it’s not the way we believe, and you’re going against the
Ordnung.
You were born Amish—for you, there is no other way to heaven but to stay Amish and follow the
Ordnung.
If you’re good enough at the end of your life, maybe you will go to heaven. There is no other way!”
Daet
waved his arms, his cheeks bright red from anger. “Going outside of the church is a sure way to hell for an Amish person!”
Like
Maem
, he paced back and forth, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. “I knew it was a mistake to let you go to that meeting. You have come back a different girl!” He stopped and looked at her, hands fisted on his hips.
“Yes,
Daet
, I
am
different. That’s what I’m trying to tell you and
Maem
. It’s the happiness and freedom I feel now—”
“I told you to stop talking like that, and I mean it!”
Daet
rubbed his beard and began pacing again. “You have given me
no
choice. In order to save your soul, which is being influenced by the Devil, I’ll have to go to the bishop tomorrow.”
He stopped, pointing his finger to the door. “You go upstairs to bed and think this over carefully. If you repent of what you’ve said by morning, then I won’t go to him; but if you don’t repent, then we’ll let him and the elders know that you are talking crazy and are outside the will of the church and the
Ordnung.
Now go!”
Leah tried to say something, but
Daet
held up his hand and pointed again to the stairs.
She glanced at
Maem
, but her back was already turned away, stiff and unyielding. Tears clouding her way, Leah left the room and stumbled up to her bedroom.
Falling across her bed with a sob, she thought about the way things had changed in her heart. Leah knew she’d done the right thing—the peace in her soul confirmed that—but hearing her parents and knowing now that there would be no acceptance of her decision, she slowly realized living her faith here at home was not going to be easy.