‘All right,’ I said. ‘I have no proof. But if we don’t know whether god is real, we can’t depend on it. If we can’t prove anything either way, and if we’ll never know the answer, we should shut up about it and do something more practical. Instead of talking we should save ourselves! God might return and make everyone immortal, or us mortal. It could alter and revoke the laws of physics at will and leave us with a terrifying disorder. God might already have come back – remember the posteventualist heresy? Maybe San is god, watching and chuckling to himself. Maybe the Insects are god; they appeared, didn’t they? Or maybe god intended them to be the next phase of creation, more perfect and far hardier than us men.’
‘Fuck that!’ Tornado thundered. He stood up, so I did too, but I foolhardily kept going: ‘San is coming to see something new to him, that’s all.’
He patted me on the shoulders – and I sat down heavily on the bench.
‘Please!’ Lightning said.
Tornado said simply, ‘If Jant picks holes in my belief, it will shine still brighter through them.’
I sighed. ‘God coming back is nothing but a story. I’ve lived everywhere; I know a tale when I hear one. From Darkling to Hacilith to the Castle I’ve had to don and doff beliefs so many times I’ve realised stories are only ever about the people who make them up …’
‘Have you quite finished?’ said Lightning coldly.
‘I think he’s crazy,’ said Tornado.
‘No, I’m not crazy. I’ve just been around. Let me show you what I mean. Tales of god from different countries would seem as outlandish to you, as yours would to them.’
‘I have had my fill of outlandish countries,’ Lightning remarked quietly, stroking the scar on his palm.
‘You find Rhydanne strange, don’t you?’ I asked Tornado.
‘I find you strange,’ he said.
‘Rhydane think of god as looking like a Rhydanne.’
He sniggered.
I said, ‘Listen to the Rhydanne version. God the hunter made the world, the mountains, the plains, the sky; but it was empty of animals. So god made an animal to chase, and the animal she made was enormous, as if every single creature of the Fourlands, dumb and rational, had been joined together in one giant form. It had feathers and scales, skin and fur, hands, claws, wings and tails. It had hundreds of heads and thousands of eyes. It was both male and female. The beast sat on Scree Plateau and used the Plainslands as its footstool. Its heads towered above the peaks in the highest mountain clouds.
‘God chased the beast all over the Fourlands. She twirled her bolas, the stones of which were as large as the glacial boulders on the slopes of Tarneilear, tied to leather strings as long and as wide as the Turbary Track. Eventually the creature tired and god caught up with it. She cast her bolas and brought it down on the summit of Great Fheadain.
‘God killed the beast and its blood flowed down the gullies of Fheadain and created the first waterfalls. Then god skinned it and carved up its flesh. She kindled a fire and placed the cuts of meat on flat stones near the hearth. The warmth of the fire brought all the pieces of meat to life. They jumped up and ran off, all over the Fourlands and became the people and animals of the world.
‘The Rhydanne were quickest; they ran away first, before the fire could cook them. The humans were closer to the fire, and got burnt, which is why they are not as pale as Rhydanne and they need a warmer climate. Some cuts of meat had stuck together – humans and eagles – so now we have Awians. The Rhydanne had already populated the mountains, so humans and Awians must perforce live in the lowlands. God saw this had happened accidentally and decided to get drunk. She drank and drank and eventually fell asleep. One day she will wake up, with the heaviest hangover of all time. Rhydanne live in dread of having to pacify her with more alcohol on that day, I can tell you –’
‘Jant …’ Lightning cut me off with a calm voice.
Tornado said, ‘That’s the biggest load of rubbish I ever heard.’
‘Eilean told me it when I was small, back when I assumed Darkling valley was the whole world.’
Cyan brushed her silky hair back with her jumper sleeve and turned up her face. Rather self-consciously, she said, ‘If god is coming back, wouldn’t San have told Jant?’
‘Maybe even San doesn’t know,’ Tornado said.
‘Why don’t you ask him?’
Everybody looked at Tornado, who said, ‘Um, no … I can tell you haven’t, like, met the Emperor, girl.’
I said, ‘If San wants us to know, he’ll tell us. But the Insects are a more pressing consideration.’
‘You know what your problem is?’ asked Tornado.
‘No. But I know what you think my problem is.’
The veins stood out on his bull neck. ‘Oh, I’m sick of your smartarse comments, you flying streak of piss! Why don’t you step outside?’
I bridled. ‘Gladly!’
Lightning said, ‘Jant, wait until the Circle’s disbanded before starting a new career as a quintain for Tornado.’
‘If we don’t know what will happen,’ I repeated, ‘it’s sensible not to waste time arguing about it but continue with our plans.’
‘Hear, hear!’ Frost’s crackly, desiccated voice came from the direction of her camp bed. My outburst had woken her and she lay propped on one elbow watching us. She said, ‘I will use science to fix the problem that science has caused.’
She reclaimed the reeking coffee pot from her desk, poured herself a cup and scooped powdered milk into it. ‘Only scummy powder left, damn it … Can’t Snow stop that hammering?’
Her voice was faint, as if coming from kilometres away. She rubbed a bloodshot eye and watched wrinkled skin forming on the surface of her coffee. She appeared less like herself and more like an actress adept at pretending to be Frost. She was like a deserted mill relentlessly grinding grain because its mechanism can do nothing else, although nobody is inside to tend it.
She fingered a raisin out of the pile on her desk and ate it. Then she returned to her calculations.
‘Now, as to the Imperial Fyrd,’ said Lightning. ‘I don’t trust them if things get tough –’
‘Dad …’ Cyan interrupted. She was bored to be stranded here, while her father talked with his workmates above her head. The fact she was a minor, helpless in front of the world’s best warriors, embarrassed her even more.
‘Dad.’
‘Eszai should provide San’s bodyguard instead –’
‘Dad …’
‘I’ll do it,’ said Tornado.
‘Why not me?’ said Wrenn.
‘Because I’m the strongest. Officially, like.’
‘Da-aad.’
‘
What?
’ said Lightning.
‘Nothing. Can I go to the tavern?’
‘No. Stay here where I can see you, young lady.’
‘I have enough money.’
‘I know you have. But there is nothing left in the tavern to buy.’
‘I’m going, so tough!’
Tornado said, ‘Lightning, will you keep your daughter under control?’
‘Oh, she won’t be any trouble.’ He gave her such a warm, conspiratorial smile that it made the whole place seem homely; for a second it shrank the room, but she did not return it. ‘Come sit down by me,’ he added.
Cyan scudded over and slumped onto the bench. She said, ‘You’re all scared, aren’t you? You are, you’re all terrified, you just don’t want to admit it.’
‘Hush,’ said Lightning. ‘We must simply let San see the overall strategy. He will direct us.’
‘God might,’ said Tornado.
I pushed the heels of my hands into my closed eyes until grey-green patterns kaleidoscoped. I had only been back on the ground for two hours and I was on edge already.
‘Are you all right?’ Wrenn asked me.
‘Hmm? Yes. All it is, is … I’ve been on drugs for a very long time and now I’m not and I’m finding it a bit difficult, that’s all. Especially at night …’
Wrenn looked as if he was going to make a remark, but decided against it. Stranded on the other side of the age gulf, all he could do was start pacing again. The lanterns were flickering outside in the square and darkness was trailing in, with the sound of the innkeeper’s baby crying. ‘You know,’ he said. ‘It wouldn’t be so terrible if civilian women and children weren’t trapped here too.’
Tornado stood up. ‘Can you hear the watchman’s bell? Someone’s at the gates.’
‘It’s probably god!’ I glared.
‘I hope so,’ he said casually. ‘Only god can stop your nonsense.’
Lightning said, ‘It must be another fyrd troop.’
A minute later the watchman sent a runner in, who stood open-mouthed until I beckoned him to the table. I recognised him as one of the Castle’s servants; I know them all by name. ‘Yes, Eider; what is it?’
‘Carniss manor has arrived, Messenger. We opened the gates because Insects were harrying them – they’ve been fighting off Insects all the
way from the mountains. The governor says he’s recruited everybody he can; he has a whole battalion but they lost most of their mules. He requests orders to billet his men.’
Lightning said to me, ‘I’ll greet Carniss. I expect that manor holds unpleasant memories for you.’
‘More likely those bastards will be uneasy taking orders from a Rhydanne.’
‘Do they only have one battalion?’ Wrenn asked. ‘Well, I suppose every little helps.’
Lightning picked his coat off the back of the chair, thrust one arm into it and felt about for the other. He said, ‘Carniss may be a small manor but their archers are superb marksmen. They earn their living hunting.’
I glanced at the ceiling. ‘They’re bastards to a man.’
‘Jant, I know you don’t like Carniss, but we’re very crowded and strained here, so don’t sow discord. Even their General Fyrd bring their own fine bows. We can give them horses; I know they fight better as skirmishers than in formation.’
Frost added, ‘They have excellent master miners too, from the silver mines. They’re tough and they work hard.’
Tornado nodded. ‘I like Carniss. They have a decent attitude for featherbacks; they’re very down-to-earth. Frontiersmen make good garrisons. They’re used to danger, so they stay alert and observant, which is more than you can say for the city fyrds.’
I said, ‘They’re a lot of grubby unmanageable trappers who take deep revenge for slight offences.’
Cyan said, ‘Cool. Can I come and see them?’
‘No,’ Lightning told her. ‘Stay here. Jant, would you look after …
No
, don’t give her the wine! Bloody stop drinking! And, Wrenn, can you … Oh, forget it. I can’t believe what’s happening to the Circle these days!’ Lightning swung his quiver on his shoulder and stormed out after the servant.
Cyan looked up at me. ‘I want to watch Governor Carniss’s men come in.’
Wrenn said, ‘Let’s go, then.’
She glowered at him. ‘Not with you! And don’t look at me like that!’
‘I wasn’t looking at you like anything.’
‘You’ve been staring at my tits all night, you syphilitic Miroir bog-trotter!’
Wrenn’s face split in a grin. ‘Well, they are nice tits. You must be very sporty. I’ve heard you can shoot straight.’
‘Now you’re leering!’
‘I’m not leering. I’m smiling. Don’t you want a smile from the world’s best swordsman?’
‘The only weapon you handle is your own dick … mangy wanker.’
‘I don’t think she’s feeling the fun of the day,’ Wrenn said to me.
She stuck her nose in the air. ‘No, because a short-arsed whore-monger keeps asking if I want to see his sword.’
‘Come on, Cyan,’ I said hastily.
Sheets of rain hissed down on us as we walked out to the gate. I cupped my tall wing around her to give her some shelter and I felt her warmth. We stood in the archway under the lanterns and watched a line of horses moving above their amorphous rain-pocked reflections. The men’s heads bowed, greasy rivulets ran down their waxed cotton hoods and tent-like cloaks they had stretched over their saddles. Bow cases projected from bundles and panniers on their cruppers. The nearest horse’s ankle flexed, its unshod hoof splashed down shattering the reflection.
Most men were on foot, carrying spears over their shoulders. They walked past wearily, in a worn and handed-down, or looted, assortment of armour; threadbare brigandines with steel scales showing through the rents. Their cuirasses were flecked orange with recent rust, fur scarves tucked into their metal necklines. Mud had rubbed up their boots between their legs to the thighs.
Their standard bearer dipped the Carniss crescent flag under the archway as he passed us. I thought the outpost’s association with the rest of the kingdom was a thin veneer; the slightest battle tension scratched it and showed their harsh settlers’ identity. Their greatest loyalty was to each other.
Cyan breathed, ‘Wow. I haven’t seen anything like this before. Awndyn fyrd never go anywhere.’
‘Wait till the Eske heavy cavalry turn up. Then you’ll have something to stare at. See the man who looks like his mare? That’s Governor Veery Carniss.’
Veery was dismounting to greet Lightning. His teeth were so horsey his voice whinnied. His ears were like bracket fungus and, though he frowned, a duelling scar lifted one corner of his mouth, permanently changing his expression for the better.