Read The Monogram Murders Online
Authors: Sophie Hannah
isn’t signed or dated, so I don’t think much of the
artist, whoever he is—an amateur—but . . . it’s my
father smiling, and that’s why it’s up on the wall. If he
had smiled more in real life . . .” Nancy broke off and
turned to face Poirot. “You see?” she said. “St. John
Wallace is wrong! It is the job of art to replace
unhappy true stories with happier inventions.”
There was a loud knock at the door, followed by
the reappearance of Constable Stanley Beer. Poirot
knew what was coming from the way that Beer looked
only at him and avoided Nancy’s eye. “I’ve found
something, sir.”
“What is it?”
“Two keys. They were in a coat pocket, a dark
blue coat with fur cuffs. The maid tells me it belongs
to Mrs. Ducane.”
“Which two keys?” asked Nancy. “Let me see
them. I don’t keep keys in coat pockets, ever. I have a
drawer for them.”
Beer still didn’t look at her. Instead, he
approached Poirot’s chair. When he was standing
beside him, he opened his closed fist.
“What has he got there?” said Nancy impatiently.
“Two keys with room numbers engraved upon
them, belonging to the Bloxham Hotel,” said Poirot in
a solemn voice. “Room 121 and Room 317.”
“Should those numbers mean something to me?”
Nancy asked.
“Two of the three murders were committed in
those rooms, madame: 121 and 317. The witness who
saw you run from the Bloxham Hotel on the night of
the murders, he said that the two keys he saw you
drop had numbers on them: one hundred and
something, and three hundred and something.”
“Why, what an
extraordinary
coincidence! Oh,
Monsieur Poirot!” Nancy laughed. “Are you
sure
you’re clever? Can’t you see what’s in front of your
nose? Does that enormous mustache of yours impede
your view? Someone has taken it upon himself to
frame me for murder. It’s almost intriguing! I might
have some fun trying to work out who it is—as soon
as we’ve agreed I’m not on my way to the gallows.”
“Who has had the opportunity to put keys into your
coat pocket between last Thursday and now?” Poirot
asked her.
“How should I know? Anyone who passed me in
the street, I dare say. I wear that blue coat a lot. You
know, it’s ever so slightly irrational.”
“Please explain.”
For a few moments she appeared lost in a reverie.
Then she came to and said, “Anyone who disliked
Harriet, Ida and Richard enough to kill them . . . well,
they would almost certainly be favorably disposed
toward me. And yet here they are trying to frame me
for murder.”
“Shall I arrest her, sir?” Stanley Beer asked
Poirot. “Take her in?”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” said Nancy wearily. “I
say ‘frame me for murder’ and you immediately
assume you must do it? Are you a policeman or a
parrot? If you want to arrest somebody, arrest your
witness. What if he’s not only a liar but a murderer?
Have you thought of that? You must go across the road
at once and hear the truth from St. John and Louisa
Wallace. That’s the only way to put a stop to this
nonsense.”
Poirot lifted himself out of his chair with some
difficulty; it was one of those armchairs that didn’t
make it easy for a person of his size and shape. “We
will do that
précisément,
” he said. Then, to Stanley
Beer, “No one is to be arrested at the present time,
Constable. I do not believe, madame, that you would
keep these two keys if you had indeed committed
murder in rooms 121 and 317 of the Bloxham Hotel.
Why would you not dispose of them?”
“Quite. I would have disposed of them at the first
opportunity, wouldn’t I?”
“I shall call upon Mr. and Mrs. Wallace
immediately.”
“Actually,” said Nancy, “it’s Lord and Lady
Wallace you’ll be calling on. Louisa wouldn’t care,
but St. John won’t forgive you if you deprive him of
his title.”
NOT LONG AFTERWARD, POIROT was standing by the
side of Louisa Wallace as she stared, enraptured, at
Nancy Ducane’s portrait of her that hung on the wall
of her drawing room. “Isn’t it perfect?” she breathed.
“Neither flattering nor insulting. With high color and a
round face like mine, there is always a danger I shall
end up looking like a farmer’s wife, but I don’t. I
don’t look ravishing, but I do look quite nice, I think.
St. John used the word ‘voluptuous,’ a word he has
never used about me before
—
but the picture made
him think of it.” She laughed. “Isn’t it wonderful that
there are people in the world as talented as Nancy?”
Poirot was having trouble concentrating on the
painting. Louisa Wallace’s equivalent of Nancy
Ducane’s smartly starched maid Tabitha was a clumsy
girl named Dorcas who had dropped Poirot’s coat
twice so far, and once dropped and stood on his hat.
The Wallace home might have been beautiful under
a different regime, but as Poirot found it that day, it
left a lot to be desired. Apart from the heavier items
of furniture that stood sensibly against walls,
everything in the house looked as if it had been blown
about by a strong wind before falling in a random and
inconvenient place. Poirot couldn’t abide disorder; it
prevented him from thinking clearly.
Eventually, having scooped up his coat and
trodden-on hat, the maid Dorcas withdrew, and Poirot
was left alone with Louisa Wallace. Stanley Beer had
stayed at Nancy Ducane’s house to complete his
search of the rooms, and His Lordship was not at
home; he had apparently set off for the family’s
country estate that morning. Poirot had spotted a few
“dreary old leaves and chilly-eyed cods and
haddocks” on the walls, as Nancy had called them,
and he wondered if those pictures were the work of
St. John Wallace.
“I’m so sorry about Dorcas,” Louisa said. “She’s
very new and quite the most hopeless girl ever to
inflict herself upon us, but I won’t admit defeat. It has
only been three days. She will learn, with time and
patience. If only she wouldn’t worry so! I know that’s
what it is: she tells herself that she absolutely mustn’t
drop the important gentleman’s hat and coat, and that
puts the idea of dropping them into her mind, and then
it happens. It’s maddening!”
“Quite so,” Poirot agreed. “Lady Wallace, about
last Thursday . . .”
“Oh, yes, that’s where we’d got to—and then I
brought you in here to show you the portrait. Yes,
Nancy was here that evening.”
“From what time and until what time, madame?”
“I can’t recall precisely. I know we agreed that she
would come at six to bring the painting, and I don’t
remember noticing that she was late at all. I’m afraid I
don’t remember when she left. If I had to guess, I
would say ten o’clock or shortly thereafter.”
“And she was here that whole time—that is to say,
until she left? She did not, for instance, leave and then
return?”
“No.” Louisa Wallace looked puzzled. “She came
at six with the picture, and then we were together until
she left for good. What is this about?”
“Can you confirm that Mrs. Ducane left here no
earlier than half past eight?”
“Oh, gracious, yes. She left much later than that. At
half past eight we were still at the table.”
“Who is ‘we?’ ”
“Nancy, St. John and me.”
“Your husband, if I were to speak to him, would
confirm this?”
“Yes. I hope you’re not suggesting that I’m not
telling you the truth, Monsieur Poirot.”
“No, no.
Pas du tout.
”
“Good,” said Louisa Wallace decisively. She
turned back to the picture of herself on the wall.
“Color’s her special talent, you know. Oh, she can
capture personality in a face, but her greatest strength
is her use of color. Look at the way the light falls on
my green dress.”
Poirot saw what she meant. The green seemed
brighter one moment, then darker the next. There was
not one consistent shade. The light seemed to change
as one regarded the picture; such was Nancy
Ducane’s skill. The portrait depicted Louisa Wallace
sitting in a chair, wearing a green low-necked dress,
with a blue jug and bowl set behind her on a wooden
table. Poirot walked up and down the room,
inspecting the picture from different angles and
positions.
“I wanted to pay Nancy her usual rate for a
portrait, but she wouldn’t hear of it,” said Louisa
Wallace. “I’m so lucky to have such a generous
friend. You know, I think my husband is a little
jealous of it—the painting, I mean. The whole house
is full of his pictures—we’ve barely a free wall left.
Only
his pictures, until this one arrived. He and
Nancy have this silly rivalry between them. I take no
notice. They’re both brilliant in their different ways.”
So Nancy Ducane had given the painting to Louisa
Wallace as a gift, thought Poirot. Did she really want
nothing in return, or did she perhaps hope for an
alibi? Some loyal friends would be unable to resist if
asked to tell one small, harmless lie after being given
such a lavish present. Poirot wondered if he ought to
tell Louisa Wallace that he was here in connection
with a murder case. He had not yet done so.
He was distracted from his train of thought by the
sudden appearance of Dorcas the maid, who bounded
into the room with an air of urgency and anxiety.
“Excuse me, sir!”
“What is the matter?” Poirot half expected her to
say that she had accidentally set fire to his hat and
coat.
“Would you like a cup of tea or coffee, sir?”
“This is what you have come to ask me?”
“Yes, sir.”
“There is nothing else? Nothing has happened?”
“No, sir.” Dorcas sounded confused.
“
Bon.
In that case, yes, please, I will take a coffee.
Thank you.”
“Right you are, sir.”
“Did you see that?” Louisa Wallace grumbled as
the girl lolloped out of the room. “Can you credit it? I
thought she was about to announce that she had to
leave at once for her mother’s deathbed! She really is
the limit. I should dismiss her without further ado, but
even help that’s no help at all is better than none. It’s
impossible to find decent girls these days.”
Poirot made appropriate noises of concern. He did
not wish to discuss domestic servants. He was far
more interested in his own ideas, especially the one
that had struck him while Louisa Wallace had been
complaining about Dorcas and he had been staring at
a blue painted jug and bowl set.
“Madame, if I might take a little more of your time
. . . these other pictures here on the walls, they are by
your husband?”
“Yes.”
“As you say, he too is an excellent artist. I would
be honored, madame, if you would show me around
your beautiful house. I would very much like to look
at your husband’s paintings. You said they are on
every wall?”
“Yes. I’ll happily give you the St. John Wallace art
tour, and you will see that I wasn’t exaggerating.”
Louisa beamed and clapped her hands together. “What
fun! Though I do wish St. John were here—he would
be able to tell you so much more about the pictures
than I can. Still, I shall do my best. You would be
amazed, Monsieur Poirot, by the number of people
who come to the house and don’t look at the paintings
or ask about them or anything. Dorcas is a case in
point. There could be five hundred framed dishcloths
hanging on the walls and she wouldn’t notice the
difference. Let’s start in the hall, shall we?”
It was lucky, thought Poirot as he made the tour of
the house and had many species of spider, plant and
fish pointed out to him, that he was an appreciator of
art. As far as the rivalry between St. John Wallace
and Nancy Ducane went, he knew what he thought
about that. Wallace’s pictures were meticulous and
worthy, but they made one feel nothing. Nancy
Ducane’s was the greater talent. She had encapsulated
the essence of Louisa Wallace and made her live on