The More I See (16 page)

"He's not a cuttin' horse though."

"There's a difference?"

"A big difference. This is Whole Lotta Magic. She's a pretty paint quarter horse. Most cutting horses are quarter horses, although there are other breeds that are trained to compete.

She's an experienced horse. She was the first horse I worked with when I started training on my own and she did real well in competition. She knows what she's doing and won't rely heavily on you for direction. That's what you need now. It'll give you the chance to get comfortable in the saddle and get used to the moves."

"Okay. That just went way over my head."

"Don't worry. We'll take it slow."

"Maybe I should just watch Beau for a bit."

"No chickening out."

With a little help from Beau, she mounted Magic and moved in the saddle until it felt right.

"How does it feel?"

"Like I'm sitting in a saddle."

Cody tossed her a wry grin. "Don't be difficult. Think of yourself sitting in your favorite chair."

"Just as long as we're not talking about that chair by the pool."

Cody pulled his hat off and dragged his hand over his head. When he lifted his head again to reposition his hat she saw he was smiling.

"Fair enough," he said. "Now relax. I can tell you're about to jump right out of your skin."

Relax. That was easy for him to say. His boots were still firmly on the ground.

"You've got two riders who are going to keep the cattle centered in the pen. Just let things happen, don't try to make them happen."

Lyssa breathed in deeply and watched the cattle moving around, heard their groaning pleas to be left undisturbed, and was lost to what Cody was saying.

"You with me?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Still, she clung white-knuckled to the saddle horn as Cody took the reins and with Otis, led her into the arena. Cody gave commands to Otis like he was as used to working with a guide dog as with a horse. All the while he explained the basics of what Lyssa had to do.

"Everyone is as nervous as you before their run. Cuttin' is both physically and mentally draining, so you need to stay focused on what you want to accomplish. And that's to have a good time."

She peered down at Cody when he stopped at the opening to the arena.

"Okay."

As nervous as she was, excitement nevertheless roared through her.

"You still with me, Lys?"

"Comfy chair. I'm there," she said, giving him a thumbs-up she knew he couldn't see.

He chuckled. "Good girl."

Beau had already mounted his horse and was working with Dirk to contain the herd of cattle on the far side of the working area.

"I'm all set, Cody," he called out. "The rest of the riders are in place."

Cody explained the process of approaching the herd slowly, so as not to disturb the cattle.

How to separate one cow from the herd and signal the horse.

"Once you've indicated to your horse which cow you want to cut, you need to loosen the reins, then your horse takes over. This is where the real action is, where a good cutting horse can show good cow sense. She'll be lightning quick, going head to head with the cow to keep her from returning to the herd."

"And what am I supposed to do while Magic's doing all that?" Lyssa asked, her head reeling.

"Think about your feet, darlin', and enjoy the ride."

They talked a bit more and as she listened, Lyssa wondered how on earth she was going to be able to remember all the things she needed to remember and still manage to stay in the saddle with all those quick stops and turns she'd seen the horses make at the competition. She'd be lucky if she didn't land face down in the dirt.

Cody seemed to sense her anxiety and a quick word or two, coupled with that

high-voltage smile of his, put her at ease. Throughout, the sound of his voice, the rich tone that held an air of authority and reassurance, penetrated her and remained. It was enough to allay her anxiety, at least for the moment.

Then it was her turn to ride with Magic into the herd. Beau had pointed out a few cows that were slower and wouldn't be too hard for a first run. From the sidelines, Cody remained quiet, unable to see where she was or what she was doing. Still, she felt him there with her, heard his voice in her head, urging her on. His confidence in her made all the difference in the world.

"When you've moved your chosen cow out far enough away from the main herd, loosen the reins to give Magic some leeway to move," Cody called out from the sidelines.

And when Lyssa did, it all happened so fast. With a shock of adrenaline Magic bounded forward, heading off the cow. Lyssa held tight to the saddle horn with one hand and tried to remember where her feet were supposed to be. Still she flew back and forth, barely able to hold herself secure with each lightning-quick stop and then immediate turn in the opposite direction.

Her pulse pounded in her head, her breath caught in her throat. She held tight to the saddle horn, her eyes glued to the distraught cow in front of her who wanted nothing more than to get out of this horse's way. As if admitting defeat, the cow just stopped and turned away.

Lyssa pulled up on the reins, signaling to Magic that the run was over.

It was only then that Lyssa felt a stabbing pain in her mouth and realized she'd sunk her teeth into her lip. But she didn't care. Her heart was pounding with a charge like she'd never known.

She was vaguely aware of voices, Beau talking to Cody or Dirk or maybe both. She rode over to the railing and jumped out of the saddle.

* * *

Cody heard Lyssa's laughter over the voices and wished with all his heart and soul he could see her face. He wanted to see Lyssa's smile, see the spark of light dancing in her eyes that went with the triumphant laughter. It didn't matter how she did, or what mistakes she'd made, not that he could tell. He hadn't been able to see her ride. But she'd loved it. He could hear it in her laughter.

She flew against him, winding her arms around his neck, nearly knocking him back

against the rail, still laughing.

"My God, Cody, it was amazing!" she said, her words coming out in a burst of breath.

His head was spinning and his insides seemed to jump to life. Lord, how he loved her laugh.

She kissed him and he tasted blood. His heart sank. "Lyssa, you cut yourself." He touched her lip and felt the wetness.

"It's nothing. I must have bit my lip."

He kissed her again lightly so as not to hurt her.

When she drew back her voice was quiet, but still held the same excitement he'd heard just moments ago. "I wish you could have seen me, Cody."

The lump he had to swallow was big and hard, but he managed it somehow. He would

give anything to have been able to see her ride. But he felt it deep down. And she was sharing it with him even if he couldn't experience it himself. That rush. She felt it and now through her, he felt it too.

"I did see it, darlin'. I did."

She held onto him tightly, laughing. "When can I do it again?"

# # #

Oh, sweet, merciful Mother of God! Who was the evil heathen who invented the saddle,
Lyssa thought as she peeled off her blue jeans that evening. Her thighs were screaming at her, never mind her backside. And they had every right to. She didn't want to look in the mirror and see what hidden part of her had turned shades of blue or purple. She could feel it. Seeing it would only lend a new degree of assault to her already battered body.

Steam rose from the spout as hot water flowed into the tub in her whirlpool bath. Lyssa hadn't thought she'd need such a luxury when she'd first arrived at the ranch, but now she knew without a doubt that it was an essential part of living here. She couldn't imagine how these cowboys could sit day in and day out astride a horse, using muscles she didn't even realize existed on her body until today, and not feel like they'd been run over by a truck.

The only place she was going to sit for a good long while was the bathtub. No wonder they all walked around bowlegged, for cripes sake. Nature had to take care of such things over time. But Lyssa wasn't about to wait for nature.

She climbed into the tub and turned on the jets. Immediately her aching muscles cried out in relief. Leaning her head back against the soft headrest, she smiled, thinking about the day. It had truly been incredible. For all her talk about Cody staying out of his chair by the pool, Lyssa realized she'd stayed in a chair of sorts for the last few years herself. Cody had opened her eyes to that and had given her a gift like nothing else she'd experienced.

He'd made her feel invincible. His confidence in her and his gentle words of

encouragement managed to overshadow what confidence she lacked. She had come out the better for it.

She had realized almost immediately that she truly wanted Cody to be able to see her ride. It wasn't his fault. She just wanted to share that amazing feeling with him.

He said she had, that he had felt her excitement and that it made it all worthwhile.

To what end?

She dunked her whole body under the foamy water, dousing her hair, and emerged again, pushing back the wet tendrils of hair that had fallen in her face.

There was something special about that man to cause her heart to race like it did. Feel that rush. How long it was likely to last, she had no idea. The way Cody smiled at her, held her in his embrace, made the world tilt on its axis. She didn't want it to end.

But it would. She was going to be on the ranch only another week or two. So many things would change. Cody expected to have another operation soon and she would go back to Houston to continue training her dogs.

Something prickly nagged at the nape of her neck. She felt the urge to reach back and brush it away, but she knew it wouldn't help. What nagged at her wasn't something visible. It was the fear that one day Cody would open his eyes and see her. Really see her. And all the wonderful feelings he evoked in her, all the things he thought he saw, would just be an illusion.

And the rush would end for both of them.

It was common, she knew. She'd been on both ends. First as a student, looking up to Chad and all he seemed to be, both to her and for her. And then as a teacher herself. All too often, a student mistook feelings of gratitude for love. And after a time, those mistaken feelings became crystal clear.

It would probably end that way for her and Cody. Right now, he saw her as the one person who'd opened a door that had been cemented shut.

Lyssa's heart sank and she had to swallow to keep her body from trembling. She couldn't change fate, but she could enjoy the gifts that life offered her today. For now that would have to be enough.

* * *

They sat under the same tree as they had that first day they'd gone riding. They sat in the same spot where he'd held her face in his hands.

Lyssa stifled a sigh. The very last thing she wanted to be was nostalgic or sentimental.

But there was some degree of that floating around in her subconscious. Something she'd only really begun to see.

There would soon come a day when she'd leave the Silverado Ranch. She couldn't help but wonder what she'd bring away with her as a keepsake of her time here. No, nothing practical or even tangible. It was more. Something that only Cody was able to see.

"What's so funny?" he asked, opening up the picnic basket Isadore had helped her prepare that morning.

She hadn't realized she had laughed aloud at the irony, but apparently she had.

"Nothing."

Unconvinced, he gave her a wry grin. "You're a better liar than that."

"I was just wondering how you knew. That's all."

"About the right thing to have for lunch? It's all about hunger, Lyssa."

She rolled her eyes. "I wasn't talking about food."

Bending over, she lifted the blue cloth napkins and stoneware plates out of the picnic basket they'd brought along. Her hand brushed against the bottle of wine she was sure wasn't there when they'd finished packing the basket earlier and wondered if it had been Isadore or Cody who'd slipped it inside, along with two crystal wine glasses.

She didn't have to wonder long.

"We're celebrating," Cody said.

"Oh? What's the occasion?"

He poured the wine into two glasses he held by the stems between two fingers, a half grin tilting his mouth.

"I can think of many things to celebrate. Your riding for one thing. You've come a long way."

"Thanks to you."

"No, you're good. A natural, even."

"How do you know for sure? Maybe I've been fooling you all this time and had Beau sitting on that horse for me."

He shrugged and handed her one of the glasses.

"I'd know."

"Yeah, I know you would."

"Your laughter is proof enough how much you love it. That's not likely to change. It won't be long before you're competing."

"It's kind of like a fever, isn't it? Once you catch it, you have it."

"I know a thing or two about fevers lately."

Something told her there was more that Cody wasn't saying. "So you brought me out here to celebrate how well I'm doing? Or was there something else?"

"I got the call from my doctor this morning. My eyes are healed enough to have the corneal replacement surgery. I'm going in next week. Only one eye this time, but that's enough.

A new technique they're going to try out on me increases the chances of this graft taking. It's still a long shot, and there's no guarantee the new cornea won't be rejected. But if all goes well, I'll be looking into your blue eyes by next week. And that, darlin', is definitely something to celebrate."

He raised his glass in the air a little and she met him halfway with her own without even thinking. Even as the clink of crystal meeting crystal sounded in the distant hum of animals and insects, a cold dread built up in the pit of her stomach. Lyssa immediately fought to squash it down.

Tears sprang to her eyes. She was being ridiculous. This was truly a wonderful thing for Cody. Sure, the chances that his surgery would take were still iffy. But there was always hope.